The Darcy Legacy: 1811-1813 How it all Began
by eternallyenjoyinglife
Summary: Split into three parts, this is told from Darcy's perspective and going through the first year of Darcy's marriage, this is a retelling of Jane Austen's classic. The rating has been changed for safety. Please do not read if offended by Darcy swearing. Written a long while ago (and being updated as I publish it here), but I've not had the courage to put out publically before...
1. Chapter 1

**Part One:**

 **Chapter 1**

 **1st August 1844 – I am my Beloved's and My Beloved is Mine – Song of Song's, The Bible.**

 _F_ itzwilliam Darcy stood in his library at Pemberley, watching his wife and her Aunt Gardiner touring the estate grounds as they did every year. Darcy marvelled that the ladies never tired of the woods, but they never seemed to. Every year they set out with the same gay abandon that they had 32 years ago when Elizabeth had first visited Pemberley.

The last 32 years had been both blessings and curses to the Darcys. With the birth of each of his children, Darcy had felt as if his heart would burst with happiness and joy. However, having known the heartache of loss, and the devastation of the unrequited love that marked the beginning of his relationship with Elizabeth, Darcy always felt a pang of jealousy when he was not in his wife's company. He knew it was not reasonable, and it was not fair, but he still felt the possessiveness of a young bridegroom who wanted nothing more than to spend every minute of the day with his beautiful wife, excluding the outside world as much as he could. Elizabeth Darcy still had the same joie de vivre about her that had attracted him so much as a young man, but now there was sadness that had crept into her eyes with the death of their youngest son. The days after their youngest son's death had been bleak for the whole family as they mourned a life that had been cut short, and yet together they had come through stronger than ever.

Darcy shook his head to sort so many memories. Today he intended to write his story in response to popular demand. Ten years ago his wife's side of their love story had been published by a close friend; it was one of the best sellers at the time. Now it was time for his tale of their first year. For the most part, it would be a pleasant task. The unpleasantness of some events of 1811 and 1812 would intrude, but the joy of loving and winning his wife meant the unpleasant had somehow lost its sting and he could look back at the years with a soft fondness. The memories were now just that; the guilt and the blame had gone away years ago.

The task for today would not change, and so he sat at the desk in his library and started to write…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **31st May 1811 - It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. – Jane Austen**

 _A_ t seven and twenty, Darcy felt he knew everything. He had practically raised his sister since their mother died; he had been her guardian for the past four years since their father's death. He felt he knew good breeding and recognised good manners. He was very self-assured and convinced that he did not need any help in his life. Indeed he had been so eager to prove himself independent and capable after his father died, that he had not actually asked anyone to help him or relied heavily on anyone for advice as he managed his estate and made decisions that affected the lives of many.

Darcy guarded his emotions carefully; only his sister ever truly saw beyond the mask of indifference that he would wear, and even then not all of the time. Within his circle of relatives and close friends he would be lively as was necessary. To the world at large, he was grave and indifferent at best, humorless and judgmental at worst. This mask of indifference was nearly uniformly viewed by those outside his circle as pride and superiority to those in his company. This suited Darcy well for he was by nature a shy man, who would struggle to converse with those he did not know. By maintaining an aloof air, he kept to himself and therefore his struggles and deficiencies would not be aired. Yes, Darcy was for the moment happy with his lot in life, or so he would daily tell himself. The truth was that many courted Darcy's good opinion only because of his wealth. Pemberley, his Derbyshire estate, was worth at least ten thousand pounds a year. This was the generally known part of his fortune. He did, however, have other investments which augmented Pemberley's income, and the real figure of his worth was closer to thirty thousand pounds a year.

May's end brought end of the social season in London; the endless stream of morning visitors was dying down. One after another, the fashionable families left for their country estates. The endless balls and dinner parties of the season were a chore that Darcy abominated as he always found social situations awkward. Either he was constantly bored with the shallowness of parlour conversations, or he was struggling to catch the drift of the conversation of those around him. On a conscious level, he hated being rude and would not have hurt anyone. However, his shy nature often lead to his saying and doing things that caused offence. Often his comments came out of place or sometimes came across hurtfully, although he was never deliberately cruel or mean. To close the season off, before Darcy left for Pemberley, Darcy had arranged to give a dinner party in Mr Bingley's honour.

The Bingleys were an anomaly. Charles Bingley, the son of a tradesman and Darcy's best friend, was everything right and gregarious. In fact, Bingley had often smoothed over the ruffled feathers of those who were offended by Darcy. Indeed, viewed on a superficial level, Darcy and Bingley were like chalk and cheese. Darcy grave and inscrutable while Bingley was happy and everything pleasing. However, on a deeper level, their characters were much more alike. They were both loving, caring and gentle men, who would go to the ends of the earth to please their loved ones. Both men were morally virtuous. However, If Bingley had one fatal flaw, it was that even when he knew he was in the right, Bingley was still too easily persuaded to follow Darcy's opinion. Darcy hoped that he had never misused his power over his friend, but when the friend was so easily convinced it was hard to see where the boundaries were overstepped.

Mr Bingley had two sisters. The older one was married to a Mr Hurst, and the younger was unmarried. His older sister, Mrs Louisa Hurst, was an insipid woman, who if Darcy had not met her himself would think her to be almost a hat stand. She had little to no character of her own. Darcy had seen her do little more than to play with the bangles she had on her wrist or play cards. Any character or backbone that she showed was almost entirely a carbon copy of her strong-willed shrew of her younger sister, Miss Caroline Bingley, who was born with the fangs of a viper. You could forget about having a sensible conversation with that woman.

Both the Bingley women had dowries of twenty thousand pounds, the sum total of their charms. Miss Caroline was accomplished in the usual order of things, but she did not fulfil Darcy's idea of an accomplished woman. Her manners were unkind and rude, to say the least. Anybody who either was below her in status or who had a smaller fortune than herself was there to be ridiculed and taken for granted. Darcy was never sure what was genuine and what was a pure fiction in Miss Bingley's mind. One particularly nonendearing fiction was that Caroline expected that Darcy would marry her and make her the socially vaunted mistress of Pemberley. No, Darcy could not understand how it was that three siblings could come from the same family and yet be so different from one another as the Bingleys.

Darcy's mind now turned to the last ball he had attended. **It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.** _What bloody presumption from the mothers! I still struggle to believe that is what I really overheard the mothers saying that the other day!_ Anything bordering on vulgarity was one of Darcy's pet peeves: it showed a meanness and lack of personal and social respect which Darcy found insupportable. It was the last ball of the season, and as Darcy avoided dancing as much as he could, he could usually sit on the sidelines talking with his friends and watching how the girls flirted and courted the other men. Also generally because of his quiet ways, he found out more than his friends as to how people were thinking, but this one thing had shocked him and explained why whenever it was the season he had an endless stream of morning visitors and girls who were trying to get him to fall in love with them. He never seemed to know what to say to the young ladies and often found himself being left alone, which suited him well enough for he really was not prone to falling in and out of love, that he left for his friend Bingley who always seemed to be falling for one girl after another.

Darcy's Aunt, Lady Catherine DeBourgh,, was another problem. Lady Catherine had married Sir Lewis DeBourgh and had one daughter, Anne. It was Lady Catherine's openly stated wish that Darcy should marry Anne, and unite the two estates of Pemberley and Rosings. The thought of Anne DeBourgh as his wife and Lady Catherine as his mother-in-law, made him feel sick. As a result, therefore, Darcy long since decided that he would never marry Anne.

In fact, Darcy was happy to remain single, running his estate in Derbyshire and visiting town for the season. Or so he told himself. He felt a wife would be more hassle, and if his sister's expenses were anything to go by, unless she had good connections and at least a fortune to match, she would drain his purse to such an extent that saving, although not impossible, would become a lot harder. _No,_ _I do not want a wife. I might adopt a child or just leave Pemberley to Georgiana's children. It is too vulgar that women assume that because we are bachelors we want a wife. I've seen too many women take a husband just because he is fashionable or has money and then live a life of hell. I won't marry unless I can fall deeply in love, and adore my wife. I won't marry just to produce offspring. Let Georgiana or others do that!_

Just then Darcy was disturbed by and loud knocking and disturbance in the hall. Only one person ever came to visit and made that kind of commotion in his entrance. _That's strange; I'm not expecting anyone at the moment, not even Lady Catherine!_ Darcy roused himself though and went through to the parlour where the visitor was shown in. "Lady Catherine DeBourgh" announced the poor harassed footman. Lady Catherine and her daughter Anne rarely came to London, so Fitzwilliam wondered why she had come at this time – although he thought he knew as she rarely spoke to him on any other subject. Darcy sighed and asked his aunt to take a seat.

"Darcy, I am here about Anne," started Lady Catherine, who rarely talked to him on any other subject. "You know that you were destined since your cradles. You are also aware how I am not accustomed to any kind of rebellion or refusals, and I won't accept any more of your excuses. I want to know when you are going to formalise your engagement to my daughter. Already there is the talk of Anne being an old spinster, and this ridiculous new parson I have would, undoubtedly, take Anne off my hands. I have though given him strict instructions that he must marry a girl of good character, but not too high-born status. I'm sure he won't disappoint me by his choice, the bumbling idiot. Besides, Darcy, Anne is no longer a young woman and has no chance to meet a nice young man!"

"I know madam, that you have concerns about Anne. However, it is impossible for me to marry your daughter. Her connections are good, but I do not love her. Madam my wife must be able to command my love, and also have good connections. I've said before I did not wish to marry your daughter and I say it again, I have never deceived you or led Anne on in any way. I am prepared to sign whatever document you wish to that effect, releasing Anne from any perceived obligation to me. However I insist that I will _not_ marry Anne," answered Fitzwilliam politely, but he stressed the last sentence, hoping that it would finally deter his Aunt.

"Really Darcy! I will not be refused this. You must marry my daughter; you know it was your mother's dearest wish. I will not allow you to disappoint Anne."

"Was it?! She didn't tell me that! I think it was your dream not hers. Madam, I am not aware that Anne is relying on me to marry her. Indeed it has been quite settled between us for years that she is free to find happiness with whomsoever she pleases, and that it will not be me!"

"Of course she depends on you!" Lady DeBourgh looked like she was about to burst with indignation. "You may have seen too much of the young ladies in town flirting and forgetting a young man, but I assure you my daughter is beyond all that! She has her heart set on you, and she is not able to come to town and get another husband. You know how sick she is."

"Humph! Darcy, you will marry my daughter, and fulfil the wishes of your mother and myself. I will come and talk to you about this another time. Right now I have to be in Bond Street."

"Thank you for your visit Aunt. I promise that next Easter I will come and visit you. I have high hopes Fitzwilliam will come with me" H _e's always keen enough to visit Anne._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **14th June 1811 - Alone, Alone, All, All, Alone, Alone on A wide, Wide Sea. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).**

 _B_ ingley's birthday dawned bright and clear, and had the promise of being a very hot day. Before breakfast, after taking a ride in the park, Darcy was again sitting in his library thinking about his life. He found it strange for he had a feeling as if something was missing in his life, yet he could not work out what it was. Darcy searched his mind as his eyes scanned his library. The books on the shelf spoke of taste and good judgement and though there were a few novels, for he was fond of a good novel, the books were of a more serious nature and spoke of an intellect, that craved being fed. These books in his Town library were of course only a small portion of those books in Pemberley. No, his books and his life were in order. Nothing was ever out of place, and he rarely left something lying round for the servants to clean up. What could be missing? Was it his sister perhaps? No she had her little establishment nearby and he was fond of visiting her nearly every day. Though she was away at Ramsgate right now, he knew that it was more than just his sister that was missing. He thought over his whole life, and could not work out what could be missing – yet there it was this hole in his life somewhere eating at him, telling him that there was something missing. Not being used to feeling like this he shook his head and headed out looking for something to occupy his mind, since books for some reason would not do it. It was then that he recollected that tonight was to be his dinner party; there was still time, so he decided to have a bath before getting dressed to receive his friends.

It suddenly dawned on him, while taking his bath, that perhaps, that feeling that something was missing was loneliness. He had been in society since he was sixteen and so many women had thrown themselves in his way, all wanting his ten thousand a year, and none of them attracting him much. There had been one young lady when he was at Cambridge that he had a dalliance with for a while; however when she met George Wickham she soon forgot Darcy. At the time Darcy had thought himself to be upset and hurt, but somehow his pain had been short lived and he realised he would never have made her an offer. No for some reason he had never fallen in love and the idea of taking a wife, though an attractive idea, never really appealed to him as he rarely met any women who were his intellectual equals. Making conversation with strangers was always so hard that he avoided talking to women, preferring to maintain a small but select group of friends around him.

The Bingley's arrived first. Immediately upon entering the room, Miss Bingley started "Mr Darcy, How charming a room this is" Something Miss Bingley always said trying to make out she was fascinated by it, but always having something in her look to say that she would change everything once she became his wife.

 _Why don't you ever find new things to say?_ Thought Darcy. He was anxious to talk to Mr Bingley, but as host, he had to be civil and attentive to all. "I thank you," he replied. Miss Bingley then found herself a seat and waited for her sister to arrive.

Mr Bingley, however, started in immediately, "Darcy, you know I've been looking for an estate of my own since my Father's death?" "Yes Bingley, you're always looking and never finding anything" Darcy replied.

"Well I've heard about a place in Hertfordshire – however, I cannot go down to look at it for another fortnight– will you come with me?" "Yes I will, however, I cannot make it until the first week of September."

Mr Bingley looked disappointed "Then we will make the journey on the third of September. I hope the property I want to see is still available." Their conversation then turned to politics and financial affairs and passed the time until Darcy's cousins the Viscount and Viscountess Milton arrived with Colonel Fitzwilliam. Mr and Mrs Hurst arrived shortly after. It was not long before dinner was announced and Darcy escorted Miss Bingley through to dinner. Dinner conversation was nothing out of the ordinary, and soon toasts were raised to the health of Charles Bingley. The ladies removed to the drawing room while the gentlemen drank port and smoked cigars.

"Viscount Milton," Darcy started addressing his elder cousin, "how did you knew that you were ready to get married?"

"I don't know. I just fell in love with my wife, and that led to my making her an offer," Viscount Milton answered, not very helpfully.

"Oh."

"Why do you ask Darcy?" asked Viscount Milton

"I'm not sure, just recently I've been feeling as if things are going to change, and also as if something is missing in my life, but I cannot put it into words, nor work out what it is." Darcy explained hesitantly. Rarely in the company of his close relations and his friends was he at a loss for words, but now as he tried to define what was in his mind, he found that he couldn't put it into words very well.

"Darcy, I do declare that you are feeling lonely!" laughed the Colonel. "Don't tell me that our Aunt will get her way and you will marry Anne after all."

"No!" Darcy cried, horrified by the thought. "I told you I will never marry Anne, although I might consider marrying if I found the right woman."

"This coming from you is a miracle! You always said that you weren't interested in having a wife!"

"I know! In my head, I never want a wife. They are far too expensive!" Darcy exclaimed.

"That wouldn't be a problem for you! You never spend even half of your income."

"Why should I? Women never seem to save anything! Money also appears to be the only thing that they are interested in – except for their dresses and fripperies. You know the girls here, in London, their conversation is nothing but fashions and hat pins, etc. I do declare that there is not a woman in England that is my intellectual equal. Nor is there one that could induce me into matrimony."

"That's not Georgiana, though," said the Colonel who shared in the guardianship of Georgiana with Darcy.

"No, but she does seem to take pleasure in such conversations. Conversations that you and I only wish we could give her."

"True. It's a shame that neither of us is married. We really cannot give Georgiana the female company she needs."

"So who are you thinking of then?" asked Mr Bingley..

"I'm not thinking of anyone in particular. It seems to me that I should look for a woman of good connections and a fortune to match my own." replied Darcy.

"Ah, could you love such a woman Darcy? I know you! You don't want a woman whose head is empty," the Viscount commented.

"Too true, too many women are said to be accomplished who really are not. I wish to find a wife who had a fortune, good connections and who is accomplished, but above all, I wish to find a woman whose mind is the equal of mine." stated Darcy.

"There are plenty of young ladies here who are single and unattached," offered Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Children and or empty headed you mean," said Darcy contemptuously. "None of the young women I know would make me happy, and certainly they would not tempt me out of my bachelor life."

"I'm sure that statement would hurt all of them." answered Viscount Milton. "Georgiana is developing into a beautiful young woman, so are all her friends. Miss Bingley is not bad looking, and you know how much she likes you."

"Likes my fortune more like," sneered Darcy, Mr Bingley looked hurt. "Darcy, that's just typical of you, though. You are determined not to like anyone or anything." said Mr Bingley.

"It's not that Bingley, I just have very high standards and there are few people who match up to my standards."

"All the same you are determined not to be pleased – especially with women" said Bingley.

"Why should I not be? Expect to be disappointed then the rare gem is a pleasant surprise. I'm three years off being thirty and have yet to find a woman who is my equal. I don't want a woman whon thinks only about money, fashion and getting a husband. I sometimes wonder if any of them actually know how to make a man happy." Darcy said.

"What do you mean, Darcy?" asked Mr Bingley.

"Well, it seems that the mothers only teach their girls how to flirt, cover screens and net purses – how does that actually add to our happiness? How many of them know how to run a household, control servants, mend shirts or make skirts? How many of them know anything about our daily business – or would be able to run our estates if we were to die? None of the women I've ever met. Most of the girls don't even read, let alone know anything about the war in France or the current political situation. " "Oh, there's gossip about a girl who gets in trouble or if a wife leaves her husband. Girls know that quickly enough, and they gossip about it amongst themselves – unless it is in their own family. However when was the last time you heard a girl actually ask for example how much stocks were worth in one of the mills or what the annual interest on savings was? All they know is that we have X amount of pounds a year, but I am not aware of the last time I heard a girl asking about how we got our X pounds a year or what business it is that we deal with to keep them in hat pins and lace. I doubt that there's any woman out there who really knows accurately how to interest me."

"Wow, Darcy! That is heavy stuff you want from the women. Most fathers keep that sort of thing from their daughters." said Viscount Milton.

"So, in other words, we are destined to a life of unequal partnership or loneliness because our wives cannot understand the burden that rests on our shoulders. Or are you saying that they shouldn't understand it?"

"No, not at all, you see although my wife is actually a girl like you describe the average girl, she is capable of understanding and actually does help me out a lot, although I still like to shield her and my daughters as they grow up from the full extent of everything."

"Surely though a woman should be equal to her husband in every way?"

"Perhaps so, but until society changes, it will never truly be," said Viscount Milton.

"Society, I hate society! An endless round of nothingness repeated day after day, week after week, year after year." Darcy suddenly wished that he had the job of a servant rather than being in a position where half of his time was spent idle, it not being thought proper for a gentleman to work and his business in town and at Pemberley not even taking half of his day. A brief discussion on the benefits of the lives of the servant and master ensued which very quickly became so uncomfortable that the men decided to go join the ladies. Darcy's feeling of something missing persisted throughout the evening and the days that followed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **15th June 1811 - No man is an island, entire of itself, Every man is piece of the continent, A part of the main. - John Donne**

 _T_ he celebrations for Bingley's birthday continued well into the night, and it wasn't until 2 AM that Darcy was finally free to retire to his bed. However, sleep was still very far from him, so again he mulled over why he was feeling as if something was missing. This led him down the path thinking about his childhood companion George Wickham, who was almost two months younger than Darcy.

 **31** **st** **October 1788**

Darcy stood outside the door to his parents' shared sitting room at Pemberley. He was about to knock when he heard his mother's voice. "George, I really am concerned that our son is spending too much time in the company of the steward's boy."

George Darcy's gratitude to his steward Wilberforce Wickham was such that George Darcy accepted the office as young George Wickham's godfather. Mr Darcy also insisted on providing the education for George Wickham to improve his family lot or be capable of taking over from his father when the time came for Mr Wickham to retire.

"Anne, I don't see the harm of allowing two young boys who are of the same age playing together. Besides its good, for Will to be able to socialise with those whose condition in life is beneath him" George replied.

"I am not complaining of that George, but rather that by educating and giving young Wickham the same privileges as our dearest boy, you are giving him expectations above his station. There's something about young Wickham that doesn't feel right to me."

"I know, my dear. There's a risk in this, but young Wickham seems fine. He is such a sweet, well-mannered boy, and I owe his father so much more than I can ever repay. I find it hard to refuse the boy anything he asks. As for the education, I believe that if given a good education the boy will have the best chance to make something of his life. Goodness knows that Wilberforce and Mary can barely keep the bread on their table with her drinking the blue ruin as she does!"

"I know that, George, but as they get older the difference in the boy's positions will become more dramatic. William will have to have the respect and love of not just the servants here, but in town, not to mention the tenants. Wickham won't have that. He won't even have any money he can call his own. I worry that by allowing the boys so much freedom together now we are doing them both a disservice. I worry that Wickham will learn to resent what Fitzwilliam will have – even covet it. It's not right to raise a servant's boy this way. I believe it would be better if he had the basic church schooling that the vicar provides those servants who need to learn to read and write."

"Hush, Anne. I believe it will all be alright. I believe we are doing our best to give back to Wilberforce in kind." Darcy didn't hear any more of the conversation between his parents as he ran back to the nursery before he was missed.

 **30** **th** **April 1793** m

Darcy, his father and George Wickham had walked together into Lambton. George had taken the boys for two reasons. The first was that he wanted to buy a copy of William Blake's Songs of Experience. The other reason was that the boys were due to start Eton in September and George Darcy wanted them to become comfortable outside of Pemberley.

The bookshop in Lambton was a quaint, quiet shop that was nestled next to the village green which was always welcoming whenever he visited with his father. Today however the bookshop felt almost festive as the two boys walked in with Mr Darcy. Young Stevens greeted the trio as they walked through the door. "Welcome Mr Darcy, Master Fitzwilliam". Darcy looked at his father expecting him to prompt Mr Stevens into greeting George Wickham also, but it was as if George Wickham was invisible.

"Good morning, Stevens. Have you had William Blake's new book arrive yet?"

"Indeed we have Mr Darcy, sir. It arrived just this morning."

"Perfect. I think I'll just have a browse and see what other new offerings you have." With that, George Darcy waved the two boys off as he perused the various volumes on the shelves.

"Perhaps sir, young Master Fitzwilliam would appreciate a piece of young Miss Madeline's wedding cake?" At this George Darcy cocked his eyebrow, He had not been aware there was a wedding breakfast taking place. "Oh forgive me, sir, it all happened quite quickly. The proprietor, Mr Kincaid's daughter, was married this morning in Lambton Church. She married a young man by the name of Gardiner, an yimporter from London. Miss Madeline Kincaid is now Mrs Edward Gardiner, and I just thought your boy might appreciate a bit of the wedding cake. Please forgive my presumption."

"No presumption at all, Stevens" George Darcy turned to Fitzwilliam and said, "What about it Fitzwilliam, a piece of wedding cake?"

"Y-y-y-y-yes p-p-p-please, sir" Fitzwilliam stuttered.

"Just one moment, please" Stevens disappeared out the back, and a few seconds later he appeared with a slice of the moistest lemon drizzle cake Darcy had ever tasted. All the while this took place George Wickham could do nothing more than look on enviously as Fitzwilliam was given attention and he was ignored. Shortly after this, the trio left the bookshop, and they visited the bakery, the confectionery ashop and a few other shops including the milliner's. However, the treatment of George Wickham as invisible continued everywhere the trio went. George Darcy did not do anything to make life easier for the two boys as he knew that at Eton the two boys would have similar treatment.

As they exited the milliner's Darcy senior took the two boys to visit the village green, but George Wickham wanted nothing more than to go home. So as Darcy senior took them to see the ducks, Wickham did the only thing he could think of to get them to go home. Standing there with a bag of breadcrumbs in his hands he tried to make his face take on a look of surprise as a wet patch suddenly appeared at the front of his breeches, he then proceeded to cry as the piss ran down his legs. Darcy senior did not look happy, but herded the boys along and walked them directly home. Wickham had gotten what he wanted and, walking behind the two Darcys, smirked all the way back – until his mother saw the state of his breeches.

 **1** **st** **September 1793**

Darcy stood in his father's study, hesitantly. Rarely had he been in his father's study when he wasn't in trouble. However today his father had called him there. "Y-You c-called for me, father."

"Yes, Will. Come sit here on the sofa by me." His father said, gently. Darcy quickly crossed the room and sat on the comfortable sofa next to his father. Despite how rare this time was he loved the times when he and his father would sit quietly in the study together.

"Will I have something to ask of you. It will not be easy, but I want you to be a credit to the Darcy family."

"Anything father," Darcy answered solemnly.

"Will, as you know you are going to inherit Pemberley and all of its responsibilities. Part of those responsibilities is to look after those who are dependent on us, our servants and tenants. You know this. Tomorrow you and young Wickham will start school at Eton. Your situations are very different. What did you learn when we went into Lambton in April?"

"That visit was so strange. George and I are playmates at Pemberley, but all through that visit nobody even acknowledged George. Why Papa? I didn't understand." Darcy still could not figure out what made him so different from Wickham.

"Will, Wickham was not acknowledged because he was with you and me. You see Will, Wickham's situation in life is different to yours. He is a dependent of ours. It's called the order of precedence and society. In society, gentlemen are ranked above the servants. Wickham is the son of our steward and therefore a servant and in our employ. When servants accompany the master or mistress, the servant is expected to make themselves as invisible as possible. Had Wickham been with his father he would have been acknowledged, but being with us, those who serve us are expected only to deal with those beneath us when we indicate it should be so. Wickham also couldn't understand that."

"So we are more important than them?"

"No. it is just that we have a lot more influence than them, and people will always court our good opinion because of that. Anyway, tomorrow I want you to start doing your job as master of Pemberley. I need you to look after Wickham. There will be some boys who will tell young Wickham that he doesn't belong at Eton because his father is only our steward. Some will be cruel to him, and others will deliberately try to pull him into doing bad things. Those things will be a big temptation for him as he seeks to be accepted. I want you to look after him, Will. I have given you both an allowance. His will be much smaller than yours. I also have an emergency fund set up for you to look after Wickham. All you need to do is write to our solicitor in London if you need it. Now, Will, do you think you can do this for me?"

"Y-y-y-yeeeesssss" _I will try not to fail you, father. How can I look after him? I can't even talk to others._

The rest of that day Darcy remembered sitting in his father's study drinking hot chocolate and reading his father's books.

 **2** **nd** **September 1793**

The Darcys and young George Wickham set out from London at 7 AM and arrived in Eton shortly before midday. Upon arrival, George Wickham was immediately taken to his new rooms. Darcy, however, stayed with his mother as his father chatted with the headmaster. "Now Will, you be good and write to your dear mama frequently," his mother instructed him.

"Yes, Mama. I'm going to miss you" Darcy threw his arms around his mother's waist and hugged her fiercely. He didn't let go until his Father had finished with the headmaster and he was taken by the housemother to room he would share with Wickham.

"You will both wash up now. Your learning starts in 30mins. I'll bring you to your classrooms in 15mins" With that the house mother left the boys to clean up and change from their travelling clothes. Both boys were, in fact, ready within ten minutes later so were sitting waiting for the Housemother to come back.

"Darcy, Wickham you will wait outside your door for the next few days once you are up and dressed" The Housemother scolded them. "You will be expected after a few days to get yourselves down to Breakfast and back to your rooms in the evening. Darcy, there will be no preferential treatment here, you will learn independence and necessary life skills. Wickham as a stewards son you should already be independent. You boys will be fed and taught. Darcy your washing will be dome on a daily basis, but you will be expected to polish your own boots. When you are older, you may hire your own valet and bring him. That is up to your family. Wickham, you will be expected to come to the kitchen with your washing once a week on a Saturday, where you will learn to take care of your clothes. You will both be among boys who of the peerage. You will all remain respectful of each other and the other boys at all times."

The classroom they were lead to was a large room, with rows and rows of wooden desks. Several young boys were already seated. All the heads turned and watched as Darcy and Wickham took their seats at their assigned desks. Shock turned to amazement, which turned to laughter from the boys already seated. "Look out it's the invasion of the servants!" yelled on of the boys.

"Leave alone Smith! It's only one servant." Another boy yelled.

"I'd rather it was a cit than a servant" Smith returned.

"Yeah, at least a cit has some manners."

"No servant should be here at Eton! This is a school for Gentleman."

 _Doesn't it count for anything that my Father is his Godfather?_ Wondered Darcy. _I should say something I p"promised my Father I'd look after Wickham. What do I say?_

"Hey, servant, what's your name?" another boy called.

"Wickham! I'm George Wickham." Bravely George Wickham spoke up. "I am not a servant. My Father is a steward, and my God Father is a gentleman."

Another round of laughter followed Wickham's declaration.

"S-S-S-STOP IT!" Darcy finally stood up. "My father is his Godfather. That's why he's here."

"Who might you be?" One of the other boys asked.

"I am F-F-Fitzwilliam D-Darcy" This would not have been enough to stop the boys carrying on. However, the master arrived to start their lessons. The teasing that Wickham was subjected to continued for the whole year, however after a few letters from home the teasing was done away from Darcy's hearing. Slowly over the year young Darcy's confidence in himself improved and his stuttering stopped.

 **23rd November 1795**

Two years at Eton had changed both Darcy and Wickham. The two boys still shared a room together, but other than that they spent their days in the company of young men. Wickham's easy going personality had during their second year at Eton managed to get him acceptance into the most exclusive group of young boys in the country, and these young men were made up of all the years at the college. The older ones were notorious for their scrapes, and as their fathers almost universally carried Title and influence, they could escape any lasting harm through offering those wronged a substantial amount to keep their secrets. This was how Wickham first found acceptance. Wickham had walked in on one of the older boys ruining a young lady, and Wickham had bargained for acceptance into their group as the price for his silence. Generally, the younger boys of the group did little more than give small wagers on a round of cards and drink their wine a little stronger than they ought.

Darcy, however, had used his time at Eton much more wisely. Within two months Darcy has mastered both Ancient Greek and Latin. He had requested and was granted the privilege of learning Hebrew also so he could read the scriptures in their original tongue. Darcy was more than just clever. He enjoyed reading, and he enjoyed languages. Over the last two years, Darcy had not only mastered every subject that he was taught, but he had also mastered much more besides. His confidence in himself had grown, and the older he got, the more he could see the differences between himself and George Wickham. Wickham indeed showed Darcy such poor manners and behaviour that even at the young age of just thirteen Darcy was forming generalisations about those who were below his station in life. The more Darcy saw of Wickham's proclivities, the more he felt himself to be the superior, and the amount that his good opinion was sought merely for his father's wealth and influence the more Darcy began to feel he was Better than all in his company. Few of his classmates could keep pace with Darcy's mind and most of Darcy's time was spent reading whatever reading materials he could find. Darcy had even written to both his Father and his father's solicitor that a regular supply of reading material should arrive both from Mr Kincaid's in Lambton, but also from Hatchard's in London. Darcy had made the acquaintance of three young men who were similarly studious but not as intelligent as Darcy himself, and outside of lessons, these three young boys would be found hiding in the library, either doing their homework or Reading.

Today however things would change. Darcy's self-confidence was to gain a blow that he would set him back several years and when he came out of the shock, he would not be the same young man who was now heading to the library after the last lessons of the Latin master stopped him and his friends as he was about to leave. "Darcy, I'm afraid I have to tell you to report to the headmaster, immediately," his Latin master said to him. Ever dutiful no matter what was asked of him, Darcy went straight to the headmaster's study, and having knocked and gained admittance, he now stood nervously waiting for the axe to fall. Darcy could not think of anything he had done wrong so was not sure why he was called in.

"Come in Darcy. Don't stand on ceremony, you're not being punished, my boy!" The headmaster gestured to a seat by the fire which Darcy sat nervously on. "Darcy I'm inordinately proud of the way you have come on. When you walked into my school two years ago, I was afraid that your private nature was going to hamper you. However, you've proved us all wrong and are developing into quite a young man. Given a couple of years, I'm sure that none of us should have known you."

"Thank you, sir."

"Well here's the point, I've received a letter from your Father, and he enclosed a letter to yourself also. I was only to give you the letter after I had given you some information" The Headmaster always hated giving bad news. However, he was worried about what the effect of this news would be on Young Master Darcy. "Young man, you now have a baby sister. The bad news is that your mother is gravely ill. Your Father requests your presence at home. For a short spell. You will leave now."

"Has my father called for Wickham also?"

"No this journey is not for Mr Wickham to make," Indeed George Wickham's progress in school although adequate was such the George Darcy had deemed it more advantageous for him to remain at school. Especially as he had no love for the mistress of Pemberley.

 **26** **th** **November 1795**

Darcy did not remember the three-day journey back to Derbyshire. His internal voice was working overtime, worrying about how sick his mother was and if he should lose his mother, what he would do. Self-doubt and self-blame were the order of business in his mind the whole of the way home. He went straight to his mother upon arrival home and found her sitting up in bed with what appeared at first glance to be a doll. However, when his mother smiled and beckoned him over to the bed to sit with her, Darcy realised that it was not a doll, but rather it was his new sister. It was love at first sight. Georgiana was just perfect.

"Fitzwilliam I asked your Father to bring you home for a reason. I don't know how long I shall be here, I need to talk to you about your future." Ann was pale and visibly struggling.

"Mama, say you'll be well?!" Darcy was distraught. He wasn't ready to lose his mama.

"None of us know what time we have Fitzwilliam. I promise that if I can get well, I will." At this point, Georgiana woke up and cried. "Even if I survive for a little while I am eventually going to leave you. I was never strong, and now I am even weaker. I need to talk to you about your future."

"Mother do not distress yourself." Darcy pleaded.

"I am not distressed, but this is too important for me to leave it." Ann was looking more and more tired as she spoke, but she was determined and so continued "Son, you will have an enormous responsibility on your shoulders. That responsibility will weigh heavy on your some cases, you will have the very responsibility of life and death. Do not take it lightly and do not be afraid to ask for help and advice. Choose carefully those who you trust. Many will give you poor advice, others will wish you to fail. Be strong my son. When you get older you will be expected to look for a wife, You have a loving and caring heart, do not choose with you head only, the temptation to do so will be great. Fortune and title they are not what matters. Choose a wife with your heart son, she must be someone you love and who will truly be your equal. Make your own choice and be happy.

On money, be generous but save at least one tenth of what comes in. Many will ask money from you, The Bible says in Luke to give to him that asks you. Do not give or spend more than you can afford, and do not withhold too much money either for the Proverbs tells us that when a man withholds too much, it tends to poverty. Invest wisely again the bible says to cast your bread upon many waters, for you do not know what will prosper."

"Mother I'm confused. How do I give to everyone and yet not spend too much? How do I know what is too much to withhold and what is too much to spend?"

"If you spend too much then eventually the estate and that dependant on you will suffer. You will find out what spending level needs to be to maintain and grow the estate. Ask your Father for advice. The advice to give generously is only valid if you can do so without making your family suffer. Saint Paul tells us that if a man doesn't provide for his family he is worse than an infidel, that's someone who doesn't believe. Part of providing for your family is growing the estate and income you have a son. You will know what your own level is." At this Ann sank back into the pillows and told Darcy to leave her.

Confused he did, but her advice given here would resonate with him for the rest of his life. In monetary terms, he followed his mother's advice and was very successful. He always saved, and he had no vowels anywhere. His bills were always paid promptly and when he was full grown the poor and the servants were liberally treated. Thanks to his mother's advice he never had to refuse to help anyone – that is except eventually for one man, who perpetually would not learn from his mistakes and depended on the Darcy Largesse more than any other. Darcy stayed home for a full month complete, learning from both his mother and Father. Both of them taught him lessons that he would remember for the rest of his life. He was confused and conflicted over his mother advice for choosing a wife and pushed it out of his mind as it seemed something barely relevant to a boy of 12 years of age.

 **30** **th** **December 1795**

Darcy was tired having left Derbyshire two days ago. However, after that day he would not be the same boy again. He confidently walked into his shared room with Wickham, only to find on the floor the body of his best friend, Jeremy Phillips. Wickham's group of friends had invited the boy into meet Darcy when he arrived. However, while they were waiting for Darcy to arrive they had slipped a very powerful sleeping draft into the boy's drink, thinking it would be a lark to make him sleep. Once Jeremy had collapsed on the floor, the boys had left to room, and the boy had choked on his own vomit while he lay there. The shock that Darcy felt was immense that Wickham had been the core instigator was unknown to Darcy at the time. However it was to become the first of many George Wickham's messes that Darcy would clean up.

 _Oh God! He's just sleeping, that's all he can be doing. Why is he here?_ Please _say he's only sleeping. He looks tortured. He's sleeping, He's sleeping, He's sleeping. I need to wake him up, I need to wake him up._ Darcy slowly moved over to the body and went to shake his friend. _He's cold, He's blue, He's stiff. What happened? This isn't right I can't do this. I need some help. Please God, why does he not wake up? I can't stay here, I need to get the housemother. I need to get help._

 _ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP ME PLEASE! SOMEBODY HELP!_ Darcy had thought that he had screamed out loud as he opened the door to his shared rooms, but no sound had passed his lips. He ran down the hall until coming to the housemothers private sitting room he knocked and promptly collapsed. The housemother had both seen him arrive back at the school and heard his knock on her parlour. She opened the door, and there he lay in a crumpled heap. Gently she picked him up and carried him back to his room. That was when she realised that he must have walked in to find the body. She turned around and placed him in an empty room that was awaiting new boarders and then returned to lock the door until the Doctor and Magistrate arrived. It was not until three months had passed that the boys finally admitted what had happened, and another three months before either Mr or Master Darcy could straighten out the mess George Wickham had created.

 **26** **th** **November 1797**

It would take another shock before Darcy would speak again. He was bright and maintained his studies with even more vigour than before, and ways around Darcy's not talking were found. However, a letter had arrived three days ago that once again shocked Darcy to his core. His Mother had never regained her full strength after Georgiana was born and had passed away in her sleep Three days before that. His mother had passed away in her sleep. He did not start speaking straight away, but this time both he and Wickham were called home so that they could pay their last respects to Darcy's mother. The carriage had felt confined and restrictive as he and Wickham travelled home. Wickham was all that was disrespectful and seemed almost gleeful that his patroness was dead. Darcy turned away in pain and sorrow. It had been a long time since Wickham had been any kind of confidant for Darcy, and after the death of his best friend Darcy had not made any new friends. Darcy thought if he did something bad would happen to them too. Wickham's jollity only drove Darcy's internal monologue.

 _Mother, I'm sorry. I went back to school when I knew you were sick. If only I had been here, maybe I could have helped you. Maybe I could have done something that would have saved your life. I am my father's son I should have seen that you were so unwell, I should have stayed home. Mother, please forgive me for being selfish and wanting to go back to school and my studies. If only I had been home. I could have looked after Georgiana more. I should have been a better son. I only wanted to make you proud. What must you have thought of me mother, leaving you at such a time as that! Mother this is all my fault. Somehow I seem to bring bad luck on people. Mother, I will be strong as you taught me to be. I will look after Georgiana for you, and I will be the son you always wanted me to be. Mother I promise to keep your memory alive._ On and on went Darcy's internal monologue as he vowed to be a better son, and slowly tried to process his mother's death.

Eventually, the carriage pulled up in front of Pemberley and Darcy opened the door before the carriage had even stopped. There on the front steps to welcome him home stood his father, his sister and their housekeeper Mrs Reynolds. Darcy ran not to his father, but straight to his little sister and said the first words that he had uttered in three years. "How big you've grown Georgiana" with that he picked his sister up and turned to his father, only registering what had just happened when he saw the proud, stunned look on his father's careworn face. Darcy's enforced silence was over, but his self-imposed one was just beginning.

"Father, I want to see mother," he said as he hugged his father.

"Welcome home, Will. Your mother's in the front parlour." The tears in his father's eyes shook Darcy to the core, and there it was that he started to school the emotion out of his own face so as not to make things harder for his Father. Everybody must believe that Darcy was all right and that he was coping. He had to be strong for the everyone. Darcy's father then embraced George Wickham and the whole party retired to the front parlour.

There in the front parlour laid out in her coffin was Darcy's mother. She looked peaceful and had a slight knowing smile on her face. Darcy nearly broke when he saw his mother, but his strong will keep his tears from falling. He compared his mother's face to his friends quickly and decided that he didn't think his mother had suffered. Wickham was standing the other side of Darcy's father and when he thought no one was watching a broad grin spread across his face. Darcy had seen it though and thought for a moment that it seemed that Wickham was glad that Darcy's mother was gone. From that day forward, Darcy also noticed that Wickham was more attentive to his Father, and charmed old Mr Darcy more each and every day. Darcy and Wickham attended the funeral that was held the next day, and a few days later Darcy and Wickham returned to school. Two years later the two boys had started university at Cambridge.

 **1** **st** **September 1798**

"Darcy I need to look after a new student is arriving tomorrow." The headmaster of Eton requested. "His father is a tradesman in the North – not far from you actually. Anyway, he is to be the first generation to be educated as a gentleman. As a school, we can only give so much training, but if you were to take him and help him, then he will learn the manners of a gentleman much better."

"Thank you for the honour, sir" _Bugger, I cannot do this! I was supposed to look after Wickham, but he just gets worse and worse!_ "I'll do my best for you and for him."

"That's all we can ask of you, Darcy." That had been the end of yesterday's discussion, and now Darcy waited in the common room to be summoned when the young man had arrived.

Darcy's attention was attracted as a small boy of ten entered the room, and behind came a burly man whose presence seemed to fill the whole room in an uncomfortable sort of way. The boy was frolicking with his sisters and appeared to be filled with joy and a love of life. The siblings seemed wary as they looked at the man, but continued to frolic as the headmaster entered the common room behind them.

"Ah, Fitzwilliam Darcy, you are here. Please allow me to present to you Mr Bingley of the Manchester Millinery factories." The Headmaster turned to the young boy that was frolicking around with his sisters, "and this is young Master Charles Bingley, who I told you about yesterday." Charles Bingley looked at Darcy, and for some reason, the idea of a poor helpless animal came into Darcy's mind. Darcy was slightly unsure for a mad moment what to do, as the Bingleys were clearly of an inferior status to himself, but the Bingley's bows and curtsies should be acknowledged. The problem was solved for him though as Mr Bingley spoke up, "Thank you for agreeing to help my son in his endeavours to become a gentleman."

"You're welcome sir" and with this Darcy grasped Mr Bingley's hand in a firm handshake.

"Come along, Mary, Caroline." Mr Bingley said, "We need to get you to your schools in London before nightfall." The two girls hugged their brother, and then quickly followed their father from the room to their carriage, with that they were gone, and the headmaster left the two boys to become acquainted, and what followed was a firm friendship that was to last for the rest of their lives.

 **14** **th** **March 1807**

Darcy and Wickham were preparing to leave Cambridge. From here their paths were to diverge. Wickham would return to his studies and train for his ordination into the Church, and Darcy was to go on his European Grand Tour. The war with France had made continental travel difficult, but still, Darcy was anxious to go and experience life in different cities and cultures. Just as they were heading to the carriage that would be taking them back to Derbyshire, Darcy was interrupted "I'm sorry sir" the butler intoned, but this letter just arrived express for you." Darcy grabbed the letter off the salver and hastily opened it. He was summoned home, his father was gravely ill. _Oh God, other than nursemaids who is looking after Georgiana? I hope my Aunt Lady Catherine does not know, she'll frighten poor Georgie out of her wits. I must away, NOW!_

"Wickham, in the carriage NOW!" Darcy yelled sprinting to the door, a bemused Wickham following behind. Darcy had a quick exchange with his driver and then bolted inside the carriage ahead of Wickham. Wickham wanting to annoy Darcy, took his time as he casually sauntered towards the carriage.

"So help me, Wickham. Get your Ass in this carriage immediately!" Shocked Wickham could only clamber in, and he had barely sat down when the door was slammed shut, and the carriage started to move at an astounding rate.

"What the hell was that all about?" Wickham blustered. He knew he had no right to question Darcy, but the intimacy they had as boys had not yet fully left.

"It's father he's gravely ill. Mrs Reynolds wrote to hurry my departure home. We'll be driving throughout the night so as to get to Pemberley tomorrow evening."

"As you wish" Wickham shrugged, he barely concealed his lack of interest in the fact that his Godfather and Benefactor was dying, something that Darcy had not missed but chose to say nothing.

 _What shape is Pemberley in? The spring plantings must have already been planned. There's so much to do, where do I start? Darcy's inner monologue started._ However, over the years Darcy had become better at dealing with his inner thoughts and slowly he wrote in his journal all his concerns and worries. He then proceeded to list all the various questions that he had for the man who should the worst happen would be his steward. The first thing Darcy needed to do after seeing his father, would be to go over the ledgers and meet with his steward. Darcy sighed. He was only Two and twenty. He had no experience, and his reserved nature had always hampered him in society, after one dance or one conversation he would be avoided. His closest friends only saw the mask that he wore. Now he must be strong. Georgiana must be his first priority. The poor girl is barely ten years old. _What is to be done about Georgiana? I couldn't part with her or send her away, not now, she's the only close family I have. However, it's not right that she should be brought up by a young man who has no experience either. Hopefully, the father will have a sensible solution to my dilemma. Father…. Yet again I am away from home when disaster strikes my family. What have I done wrong? Why am I being punished like this?._

Darcy made as quick progress as he could from Cambridge and ran into the house when they arrived. However, it was too late. George Darcy had passed from the world, and Fitzwilliam Darcy was left as joint guardian, with his cousin the younger son of the Earl _, to a sister more than ten years his junior, and extensive property. His European Grand Tour was cancelled. A heavy mantle had descended on his shoulders, and he shouldered it bravely.

George Darcy had barely been in his Grave a week when Wickham entered his study begging for his inheritance. "Wickham, by the terms of the will you are entitled to one thousand pounds and the living at Kympton."

"I have a mind that I would prefer to study the Law, rather than be a clergyman" Wickham smirked.

 _Good! The idea of you being a clergyman is repulsive on every level!_ "Alright, come back in three days time I will have the paperwork ready for you to sign, both for receipt of your inheritance and your resignation of the rights to the living. However, should you approach for preferment after resignation all aid in the church will be null and void, no preferment shall be offered nor shall help be given." _I will not have you chopping and changing, nor will I have the young women of the parish at risk because of you! You are unsuitable for he office of curate or reverend in the church. No, no aid will be forthcoming._

"If it is to be so absolute then surely some sort of remuneration should be offered? Say the value of the Living? Ten thousand pounds perhaps? It would aid in my studying the Law, as you know, the interest on one thousand pounds is not enough to study the Law on." Wickham said.

"If it is remuneration you wish to have the I should think that 500 pounds would be a good offer, after all, you are signing away your rights to the preferment, not actually benefitting from the living."

"Nine thousand."

"One Thousand"

"Seven Thousand"

"One Thousand five hundred."

"Six Thousand"

"One Thousand six hundred. Don't push me Wickham."

"Five thousand."

"Two thousand."

"Four thousand."

"Two thousand five hundred" _You'll waste whatever it is that I give you. I'd rather you not have anything._

"Fine, three thousand then."

"Done, but you sign away all rights to the living."

"If I must."

"I won't pay a penny out on this unless you do" _I doubt I should be paying anything out anyway._

"Fine, I shall see you in three days to sign the paperwork." The two shook hands and Wickham left. Three days later with the sum of four thousand pounds Wickham was on his way to London, not to return to Derbyshire again in a very long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **15th June 1811 - O, What a goodly outside falsehood hath! - Shakespeare (The** **Merchant of Venice)**

 _T_ he next morning brought only one letter from his sister. The minute he saw it, he knew that something wasn't right. Her writing, usually bold and firm, looked shaky. Darcy snatched up the letter and nearly ripped it in his haste. The contents themselves were unremarkable. Georgiana wrote about the delights that she had expected, and how she spent most mornings sketching on the cliffs and the sea shore. She had made the acquaintance of some other young girls, some of whom were out and those who weren't. She was enjoying Ramsgate. However, her postscript was like a knife through his heart.

 _P..S. Do not worry about me dear Fitzwilliam, but I would like to ask you what happened between you and Mr Wickham that you no longer see each other? He's here and says that I shouldn't tell you so,. Why? Please tell me, my dear brother._

Darcy read that simple postscript several times before he could comprehend exactly why that bothered him. Georgiana had always been fond of Mr Wickham, and he had always been good to her so he wouldn't have worried about them seeing each other, except for George Wickham's way of treating any lady.

It was the secrecy that bothered him. What was going on in Ramsgate? All he knew was that something in Ramsgate was wrong. Abandoning his morning plans, Darcy called for his trunk to be packed and for the carriage to be ready to leave in half an hour. He desperately wanted to see Georgiana and make sure everything was alright. All kinds of scenarios went through Darcy's head, as he dealt with his remaining business and busied himself while he waited for his carriage. The wait seemed to be unreasonably long, as the possibilities of what was happening and how Georgiana could be in trouble buzzed around his head like hornets stinging him out of any sense of quiet.

Half an hour later he was leaving Town, and by nightfall, he arrived in Ramsgate. His anxiety was at such a pitch that he had not stopped for food or drink throughout the whole trip. The mere thought of food sat in his stomach like a stone. He arrived at the house he had hired for his sister shortly before dinner. Instead of going straight to his rooms to freshen up, he chose to see Georgiana first.

Nothing could have prepared him for the scene that met his eyes as he walked through the parlour door. There were no sketches and none of the usual work of young ladies, however, Mrs Younge was sitting in a chair to one side of the fireplace and on the sofa in a compromising situation sat Mr Wickham and Georgiana.

"Good god. What is going on?!" Darcy did not quite comprehend the scene that was in front of him

"Fitzwilliam!" said Georgiana, jumping up and running over to him

"Mr Darcy." Mrs Younge stood up. She paled and dropped a quick curtsy. Wickham just looked smug and self-satisfied on the sofa. For some reason the idea of a pouncing tiger that he had seen in books now crossed Darcy's mind.

"Wickham, leave this place" said Darcy with an icy calm that covered his anger. He did not trust himself near Wickham who stood up, bowed and left the area. Georgiana stood, shocked. "Mrs Younge, I am disappointed and angry that you allowed my sister's honour to be impugned in this way. Please leave me to talk with my sister." Mrs Younge stood up and went into her room.

"Oh Fitzwilliam, I'm so sorry," cried Georgiana, trembling and not comprehending what she had done wrong. Darcy sat next to her and pulled her into a hug, and held her there.

"Georgiana, what has he done? How far has this gone?" he asked, barely controlling the anger he felt.

"When I arrived at Ramsgate he was already here. He told me that he was on holiday. We met him the second day here. Fitzwilliam, I think I'm in love with him. He says that he loves me and wants to marry me. We planned to leave for Gretna Green tomorrow.."

"You will do no such thing, Georgiana." growled Darcy.

"Why not? I love him, and he loves me" pleaded Georgiana.

"No Georgiana, you are young to the ways of the world, so I will explain how things work. When an honourable man thinks he wants to marry a woman of fortune, like you, he will apply to her father or guardians for permission to court and to marry her. Then so as to protect the girl's fortune for herself and her children the father will settle an amount on her in the form of shares etc., That way she can use the interest for her needs and comfort, while the capital is kept safe so she can leave it to her children in whatever way she feels fit.

"In cases such as yours where the gentleman wishes to elope, any money which the girls inherits or already has in her own right immediately becomes his. If he is a wastrel and a scoundrel, then she will have nothing to give her children." At this point Georgiana started crying "I fear that all Wickham wants from you is your fortune, and by eloping with you the man gets full control of your wealth – it becomes his. If he actually loved you, then he would ask your cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam or me for your hand in marriage, and we would have a chance to draw up a proper settlement on you so that your fortune is safe.

There's more, Georgiana. You probably know how father loved him and wanted him to make the church his profession. What you don't know is that you are not the first young lady Wickham has put into such a position. There were several when we were at Cambridge. When our father died Wickham declined all interest in the church as a career and tried to get an unreasonable amount of money in return. Eventually, he took three thousand pounds instead of the living, and when he left Derbyshire he was very much in debt, and I had to pay a lot of money out to cover his debts."

"Oh dear," said Georgina quietly "I didn't know anything about that. I only knew that there was bad feeling between you. He said I shouldn't tell you because you would stop us. I see now why he wanted to elope. He said he loved me, and I believed him."

"He was right about that Georgiana, I will stop it – because he would ruin you, and damage me, in that scheme. He has been trying to do harm to me for years. Our Father spoilt him, and he came to expect too much of our patronage and goodwill. Had anyone else walked into your parlour but me, your reputation would be gone immediately, and I would be ruined as well. We would be excluded from all respectable drawing rooms, and even my ten thousand a year and your thirty thousand pound fortune wouldn't save us. I'm afraid that if he does feel anything for you, it probably is not the right sort of love that would last for the rest of your life."

Georgiana was crying harder now. "I've upset you, and hurt you haven't I?"

"No, not you, Georgiana. Never you. I must ask though how much of this plan did Mrs Younge know? And has he taken any liberties?"

"All of it. I think Wickham told her his lies," replied Georgiana, blushing furiously. "He... he kissed me" Georgiana looked as if she was holding something back, but Darcy let it go at that.

"Shhh, its ok," he said gently and just held her while she cried a little more. Then he called Mrs Younge back into the room, but barely gave her time to take a seat before saying "Mrs Younge, I will be staying here for a little bit with my sister. Your services are no longer required. You will leave this place immediately. I will send your wages and your trunk on to you. Do not apply to me for a reference."

"Mr Darcy, please give me time to pack my trunk and take that with me," she pleaded. She knew that it would not yield any results and feared that if she was to argue further that Darcy would actually expose her character to the world.

"No. I will not have your presence with my sister any longer. Goodbye, Mrs Younge." Mrs Younge took one further look at Darcy's face and realised that it would be futile to argue. He was so angry at that moment that his face was completely drained of all colour. Right then it seemed that despite everything that George Wickham had done, nothing could have prepared him for this moment.

After Mrs Younge left, Darcy called for his writing tablet, and when it was brought, he wrote to Mr Wickham telling him that if he did not leave Ramsgate at this moment that Wickham's character would be exposed to the world. _That ungrateful wretch,! To think I was thinking of how I could help him further. Well, no more! That man will not have even one ha'penny more of the Darcy fortune._

With Georgiana still crying, Darcy sealed the letter and commissioned a servant to take it around to Mr Wickham, who left Ramsgate immediately and once more Darcy found himself discharging debts that Wickham left behind him. Darcy then wrote to Colonel Fitzwilliam informing him of every particular of what had happened and assuring him that the situation was contained and that none of them was ruined. This letter was then sent express, for Colonel Fitzwilliam was needed to immediately find another companion for Georgiana.

A few days later a reply arrived from the Colonel.

 _Darcy,_

 _The information in your letter has shocked me to my core. I did not know whatsoever to do. However, I have just found out that one Mrs Annesley is coming to the end of her term with my cousins. I have met Mrs Annesley on numerous occasions and believe she will be suitable for Georgiana. Further, my uncle has agreed to release her from her contract and she has decided to travel to Ramsgate to meet you there immediately upon your agreement. Please send back your answer._

 _Yours Etc..._

 _Fitzwilliam_

This news pleased Darcy so much that he immediately replied and asked for Mrs Annesley to come down to Ramsgate. Two days later Mrs Annesley arrived. Darcy finished out the month of August with his sister in Ramsgate, visiting the local places of interest. Georgiana was by no means recovered by the time that he returned to town to meet Mr Bingley, although she was beginning to show signs of recovery.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **2nd September 1811 - What we need is not the will to believe, but the wish to find out. William Wordsworth.**

" _S_ o this house that you've had recommended. What is it like?" asked Darcy as he and Charles Bingley travelled into Hertfordshire.

"Well, it has its own estate, and I understand that the park is delightful. It is approximately two miles away from a charming little village called Meryton. I've heard that the society is fascinating and that at least two of the principal families have several girls. I also understand that the game on the estate is plentiful," answered Bingley.

"But you know nothing of how many bedrooms the house has, what income you'll get from the estate, in short, you don't know anything useful about this estate at all."

"Well, I know that if I eventually buy the house, then it will make my family one of the principal families of the area. I understand that the next principal family in the area is called Bennet. They live three miles away and that there is a small villlage around their estate. The rent I know is a very reasonable rent for the house, and that I will get a percentage of the income from the property."

"Well, that's something at least." They lapsed into silence and Darcy worried about Georgiana, who he had left still crying over what happened with George Wickham. However, she had gone back to playing her harp before he went to Hertfordshire and her pianoforte was also coming along very nicely. Colonel Fitzwilliam was due to meet her in town when she returned. Darcy knew that she would be in good hands and, since she was already recovering, he knew that she would soon be happy again. However, he still worried about her. The men stopped in Watford and Darcy took rooms for them. Tomorrow they would ride out to see the house at Netherfield Park.

Netherfield Park was nothing that Darcy had expected it to be. The park was about a quarter the size of Pemberley, but was still elegant and well-kept and would do for exercise on dull days where there was nothing else to do. The house though from the exterior looked small was, in fact, a decent size and would hold a fair number of guests. It had some history, though not as much Pemberley. This impressed Darcy, and as they walked around, fires had been lit in the fireplaces. Walking through the rooms none of them was smoky, showing the chimneys were well maintained and well built. The house was conservatively decorated, and the rent was reasonable. Within half an hour Mr Bingley had signed the documents and taken the house. The plan was then to hire the servants and take possession by Michaelmas.

Darcy made the trip back to London as quickly as he could as he had to call on Mrs Younge to deliver her trunk and wages. He was still angry about what happened and didn't know if he could trust himself not to be rude.

It was, in fact, four weeks before Mr Bingley visited Darcy in town, full of excitement for his new house and the surrounding society. "So tell me, Bingley, is society as awful as it usually is in country neighbourhoods?" asked Darcy

"Within the week Mr Bennet, Sir William Lucas, Mr Long, and others of the area fathers have all visited. All the families have unmarried daughters," answered Mr Bingley.

"Yes, just as I expected. You know at the end of July I heard something rather vulgar but something that explains all those visits," said Darcy, a little agitated.

"Upon my word Darcy, tell me what it was."

"It seems that the women appear to think it a settled fact that a single gentleman in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." Mr Bingley laughed at that one.

"Come now Darcy, why would we want a wife when we can just pay to have anything we want?!" cried Mr Bingley

"I really do not know. I just thought that a very common thing for the women to say, and just thought that I didn't want a wife."

"I'm sure you did Darcy. That's so typical of you. You take offence so quickly. Let people think what they will; we will make our choices when we choose to. In the meantime, we may as well enjoy the company of those sweet girls who throw themselves in our way."

"Have you no shame, Bingley? Do you not realise that each time you pay particular notice to one girl more than the others you create expectations?"

"If the girls are silly enough to think that our attentions mean more than we mean them to, how can we help that? I never pay too much attention if I don't like the girl," said Mr Bingley. "Anyway I came back to London to get together a group of friends. You know how I love a good dance, and there's one on Saturday night at the assembly rooms in Meryton."

"Really Bingley, you always say you 'like' the girls and then just as quickly you forget them. It will make very uncomfortable living for you if you do that to one of those country girls. They're not like your London Hussein, you know. Besides, I will never understand how you can enjoy physically exerting yourself, and making conversation with silly empty headed women, whom you don't even know. Besides, you know that you cannot hope to meet anyone in a ball, for you are aware that any introductions don't count outside the ballroom." Darcy was exasperated with Bingley's constant desire for the company of strangers.

"And I will never understand why it is that you will never exert yourself to get to know people, " Bingley challenged.

"Bingley I do exert myself, but when I do I seem to give offence because I cannot catch the tone of their conversation. I am not like you. Conversation and getting to know strangers is a strain for me, and something that I tend not to do very well – especially if the ones I'm talking to are either clingy or empty-headed."

"Darcy! Please say that you will come to stay with me and go to the Meryton Assembly with me. The Hurst's and Caroline are coming, and I'm going to ask some of our other friends to come as well."

"None of your fashionable friends will come you know."

"I know, but it's worth a try" replied Bingley cheerfully.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **5th October 1811 - I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. Jane Austen, Letter to Cassandra Austen Dec 24, 1798.**

 **E** _xtract from the Journal of Fitzwilliam Darcy 5_ _th_ _October 1811_

 **G** _ood morning! G's joining me for breakfast. Therefore, I'll leave half an hour later than planned for Hertfordshire. I am worried about G. Her eyes are so sad; she's heartbroken over W's perfidy. I could strangle that bloody bastard! G's not the same._

 _Fitzwilliam and I are both responsible for G going to Ramsgate with that woman! Were the truth known G & I would be social pariahs. I guess I won't marry. Should I contemplate such, the truth about G must be made known to my future wife, and then she will turn away from me. Surely such a failure shows that I won't be able to bring up my own children, right?! Besides how many young women want to become responsible for a man's younger sister? I've heard how difficult it is for men whose first wife has died to find a woman who will treat his first wife's children properly. _

_I am on my way to Netherfield right now._

 _Have I not suffered enough? First Jeremy, then mother followed swiftly by father. Then I nearly lost G._

 _I'm in a foul mood! I feel old._

 _*Smudges* again causing problems. More money demanded, G's reputation at risk. Green (my solicitor) brought the information just as I was leaving, making me late. F had the solution. W to be pressed into a commission in the militia. Finally that bastard will have discipline imposed upon him, although too little too late! Surely father's desire for me to help W has been fulfilled!. Father allowed W too much latitude that resulted in W's avarice. W should have grown up the same as the others of his station. Now he goes around acting like he's my equal. He's not my equal, never has been! He doesn't apply himself, but looks for the next easy thing. W always grasping and won't work for success._

 _Back to G. I need to do my best for her. F and I have tried for four years. She went to the best schools, but she's made few friends! Was it Ramsgate itself or Mrs Younge in particular that was wrong? I should've checked Mrs Y's references._

 _I should have gone to Ramsgate with G, but I thought spring planting more important. The farms needed to be straightened out. The maps are out of date and the boundary markers have become markedly worn. Disputes are arising between tenants as to where their boundaries are. I suppose I could have left Holmes (my steward) to do it. G needed me. How did I not know? I must missed some clues. G should have written and asked my advice. She didn't! Why not? I did not know G needed me._

 _She should't have had to ask! I failed! Badly! F could not be there. He was obliged to be with his regiment, training to go fight the Corsican fiend! I am her closest relative. She should not be with strangers, but with me. Why did F and I create her separate little establishment rather than keeping her with me? She should be where I am. Father would have kept her at home._

 _Truth is that neither F nor I were ready to raise a child. We'd barely left childhood ourselves! We should be should be finding the right woman to love, not raising a child! Father should still be here. These are his responsibilities! Most who I went to University with are still waiting for their inheritances. It's NOT right or fair! I miss mother and father. I wish mother and father were here to advise me._

 _I won't repine the past! G must enter society either this or next year. She's 15. Aunt _ helps, but I don't know what the best thing to do for her is. I know I don't hold the entire blame for what happened, but it feels like I do._

 _Hertfordshire: There's an assembly tonight at Meryton._

 _I really should not go! If at home, I'd just sit in my library, book in hand. I need to relax. Instead I'll strain my brain trying to make a good impression. Bingley, social creature he is, won't let me stay home and cannot understand my struggles with strangers and society. He's lost when alone. I thrive alone. When socialising I feel disconnected, and have to force a semblance of enjoyment during a torturous evening. By nature I am a loner who chooses only very select people around me. Few do I ever feel connected to and comfortable with. Oh, that tonight I might stay back. I am so tired already. Tired and lost._

 _I cannot go out tonight! There's only one thing could send me out tonight. Miss Viper Bingley! That bitch is entirely negative, and a bloody leech who'd do anything to be my wife! I'd rather avoid that snake! I wouldn't even trust a lock on the library door and a set of stairs straight to my apartments! Miss Bingley would find a way to pester me! Ugh! That would be such a travesty! She'd destroy everything I've done or built within a month!_

 _Ugh! All she'd accomplish would be her own ruin! I'd be more inclined to be dishonourable! I'll NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER marry her! I'd marry Anne first. (Nauseating thought)._

 _This is the worst time to go out! I'll struggle more and offend most._

 _Worried over G, concerned about W, tired from arriving in Hertfordshire, yet I've just arrived at Netherfield, where I'll be forced to do the last thing in the world I wish to its Once more unto the breach, dear Friends1_

1 Henry V, Act III scene I By William Shakespeare.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **5th October 1811:** **No Spring, nor Summer beauty hath such grace, As I have seen in one Autumnal face. John Donne. The Autumnal.**

 **E** _xtract from the Journal of Fitzwilliam Darcy. 5_ _t_ _October 1811:_

 _My predictions of Miss Bingley's behaviour were surpassed. Wretched, wretched mistake to have come into Hertfordshire today! I just knew_ _things were going to go wrong. What is wrong with me? Idiot!_

 _I arrived at Netherfield this evening with barely enough time to change and for us to get to the ball on time, which was bad enough, but I walked in on Miss Bingley saying I would be tired and should not go to the ball. She proposed to stay at Netherfield to keep me company. My immediate reaction to that was fuck NO! I would not be alone in a house with Miss Bingley at any cost! I had to demand to go to that bloody wretched ball! Oh, that I had sent a note and postponed my arrival until Monday! Bingley insisted Miss B go to the ball with him. The only way that argument was going to result in me NOT being alone with her was for me to go to the ball. I felt manipulated and deflated. Bingley got what he wanted, simply by my wish to avoid his bitch of a sister! That is NOT fair! Ugh! The night just went downhill from there._

 _Miss Bingley did everything she could to make us even later. She complained about every rotation of the carriage wheels. Things were going to be boring; she was not going to enjoy it. The people would be obnoxious; the rooms would be drab and dull. My eyes hurt from rolling them so much; her whining gave me a headache. We would have managed to be on time for the first set had Miss Bingley not chosen to spend nearly 30 mins adjusting her dress and turban._

 _Bingley and I shook our heads and wandered off to look at the town's shop windows. Monday morning I must make a trip to the bookstore, which has some books I want. These particular books have been sold out at Hatchard's for months. Not even my being an earl's nephew/grandson can make a difference as to when I'll get my books. Oh well, this quaint little town has the books I desire, and I intend to buy them._

 _Joining the group once more, Miss Bingley was finally ready, and we entered the assembly rooms just before the second set began. As a group we were introduced to the principal families and Bingley immediately made himself one of them. I took myself off to a corner; I did not want to be there. I knew in my heart that if any of them knew what G had done, I would be excluded from their society. The thought of that obsessed me._

 _The moment I stepped into the ballroom something significant happened. I saw the most intriguing woman I have ever seen. She is not classically beautiful, but there is a degree of beauty in her face. If I were to apply two words about her they would be"handsome" and "attractive". She has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Such joy and intelligence! I did not catch her name, and that I regret!_

 _Alas, she overheard my ridiculousness. Bloody Bingley! Would not leave me alone, and pressed me to dance. I think it was my mystery woman who was his pawn. By that point I had become almost obsessed._

 _I always struggle with meeting new people. I cannot catch their conversation tones. That is, I cannot easily understand what they want of me, unless they actually say specific words. Often I have been accused of not trying to improve my social skills. Bingley doesn't understand that I need more time than he does to interact. If rushed, I offend, unintentionally, but I do offend. I say things that either sound ridiculous or out of place. That's why I used to stutter. I hated myself for that, and things have not improved much, although I no longer stutter. Back to the young woman._

 _The moment I saw her my old fears came back. Learning not to care about what others thought about me was one of my hardest challenges. This woman's different. I want her good opinion. It matters what she thinks of me. I cannot force myself not to care about what she thinks of me! I want her to like me. For the first time in my adult life, a woman has the power to destroy me! I am more vulnerable than I've been in my life. I deliberately didn't want to dance or interact with people today, knowing my shortcomings._

 _Thus, when Bingley pushed me to dance, and I forgot to censor my thoughts. So many thoughts were compounding: worry about the whole G/W problem, staying out of the way, that I hadn't noticed even how many gentlemen were in the room. I blurted some ridiculous thing about the woman not being handsome enough to tempt me, and that other man were slighting her. Ridiculous idiot!_

 _The truth why I did not want to interact with her? I was scared! Scared I'd offend or hurt her. I was scared that once she finds out about G, she would despise me. I was scared… scared of everything going wrong. It did! I so wanted her to think well of me, and I swear I hurt her. Her response? She laughed at my ridiculousness, but something in her eyes registered hurt. I also overheard an awful woman expounding how I am the proudest and rudest man. I guess yet again I failed; I just have to hope that the young lady doesn't hate me._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **14** **th** **October 1811 - In Politics, what begins in fear usually ends in failure - Samuel Taylor Coleridge.**

 **G** _oodness this week is awful, how is it that it just seems like one long blur?! Every night there's dinner parties and every night I am aware that Georgiana's behaviour could have removed us from polite society. Not to mention that I seem to feel even more and more lonely. Ugh! So many dinner parties jus morph into one endless night._

There was a glimmer hope that appeared towards the end of the week. Darcy and Bingley appeared to become almost intimate acquaintances with the Bennet family. _Only the eldest Miss Bennets: Jane and Elizabeth are worth knowing, but their society or more especially Miss Elizabeths society makes it worth putting up with the vulgarity of the mother and younger sisters. Her Father - I don't know well enough to make my mind up about him. However I've now come to know that it was Miss Elizabeth that I was so ridiculous over._ The more Darcy and Bingley came to know the Bennet family, the more intrigued he became with Miss Elizabeth. Elizabeth's eyes held such intelligence. Nothing unusual that it showed in her eyes, no it was her sex that made it unusual. Darcy guessed for intelligence to shine forth so much she must be well read and more widely educated than the norm. _I don't understand how I have become dependant on seing Miss Elizabeth at the social functions to survive, but it is only seeing her that makes it all bearable._

As per the habit he had developed Darcy didn't discuss the evolution of his emotions with anyone, nor the fears that came with them due to his uncertainty. Rather he locked them away, and resorted to his habit of listening to find out more about those around him. He heard of the Lonbourne entailment, but it didn't register in his mind.

 _Why had her father not regularly put aside a small amount to increase the girls' dowries? Five girls, no boys, an estate entailed away from the female line. Why would a father not look after his daughters better so as to induce better matches for them? I like her, but does she fit what my ideal woman would be? Character wise? Yes but connections and fortune? No. I do not yet know what her connections are, and good connections are imperative. She has no dowry and her father has slight lapses in judgement that could likely be overlooked, but her mother! Oh no! I could never have such a woman as my mother-in-law! Miss Elizabeth is witty, and she's intelligent, but with such relations surely something about her behaviour cannot be above reproach. She would be a disgrace to Pemberley and the Darcy name. Besides, I cannot even say what I feel for her. I do not know her yet. No, based on what I know so far, this woman is not for me even though I like her company. I am in control of my destiny, and SHE is not part of it. Perhaps I'll learn more about her at dinner this evening, when I'll see more of her._

Darcy sighed. Once again found himself having a bath and putting on his best evening suit to go out for yet another dinner party. A party where Bingley would be fawned upon, and Darcy would find himself snubbed and ignored. Another evening where he would feel the loneliness that was becoming more and more acute.

"Whatever takes you so long to get ready?" asked Bingley as he entered the drawing room where they had agreed to have a drink before setting out.

"You know I like to look good," responded Darcy nonchalantly.

"You never used to take this long before!" said Bingley, and, before he thought what he was saying, added: "I do believe that there's a young lady in the mix here."

"No Bingley, you would be completely wrong," lied Darcy. Miss Bingley said nothing hoping she was beginning to make a good impression Darcy. The carriage was ready for them, and drinks consumed, they made their way out the front door, quietly.

Tonight they were dining with the Lucas family. Sir William Lucas had made his fortune in trade, however while he was mayor of Meryton Sir William had caught the attention of the King. He had been knighted for his services and had left his trade behind him. His eldest daughter was a sensible woman named Charlotte, who was seven and twenty, and it seemed to Darcy that she was Elizabeth's best friend. Whenever he saw her, she appeared to be with Elizabeth, sometimes almost conspiratorially. Once more Darcy expected to see the two together.

Upon arrival they found that the rumored militia had arrived. The young in attendance needed to release their excess energy, consequently before dinner there would be a little dancing. Darcy found that he was not averse to dancing this evening. However, he still felt fearful of interacting with those around him. Leaning against the mantelpiece, his eyes scanned the room for the only person he wanted and the one he feared most to talk to, for fear of giving offence and hurting her.

Mrs. Bennet's loud voice, caught his attention. She declared to Mrs. Lucas that she really could not imagine why Mr Bingley insisted on bringing along his friend who did nothing but give offence. She started up about how well settled she hoped that her eldest daughter would be.

Darcy groaned. _This_ _has_ _to_ _be_ _the_ _worst_ _visit_ _I_ '' _ve_ _made_ _in_ _a_ _very_ _long_ _time_. _I really should have stayed at home._

Hearing Mrs. Bennet made Darcy reluctant to talk to anybody in the room. However courtesy and good breeding meant that he could not be silent all evening, no matter how fearful he was. The next person who caught his eye though was the very person he wished to see. She was engaged in a conversation with the newly arrived Colonel Forster of the regiment. She expressed herself excellently on the war in France and asked the colonel in her cheeky tone if he were here to subdue the discontented population or to subdue the French. It seemed to Darcy that she was much better informed than even some of his friends at the club, and that should Colonel Fitzwilliam ever meet her the two of them would get on well. __ _No! I don't want her meeting Fitzwilliam._ __Jealousy had just punched Darcy in the gut, despite the fact Miss Elizabeth was unlikely to even meet the Colonel.

The conversation with Colonel Forster showed him that maybe Miss Elizabeth was the exception he sought. This made him slightly uncomfortable. _If_ _I_ _am_ _wrong_ _about_ _her_ , _maybe_ _I_ _have_ _misread_ _other_ _women_ _of_ _my_ _acquaintance_.

Just as Darcy was about to hazard a conversation, Miss Elizabeth immediately started talking to her friend Miss Lucas and Sir William Lucas appeared at Darcy's side and started a very strange monologue about dancing, which Darcy didn't pay any attention to. It seemed strangely coincidental that just then Miss Elizabeth looked in the direction of her two youngest sisters, who were both dancing. Darcy wondered why they were even out in society while the eldest two were still unmarried. The middle girl, Mary, had acquired some skill with the piano forte, but her performances could only be described as unfortunte.

 _Each of the younger sisters is exposing herself and her family dreadfully, why do the mother and Father not do something?_

Suddenly Elizabeth crossed the room, intent on some errand or another. THen the unthinkable happened! Sir Lucas seized her hand and tried to give it to Darcy, promoting her as a splendid dance partner. But she refused! Darcy had been so distracted he had not expected a refusal.

 _What a charming refusal, Why would did she refuse me? Why wouldn't she wish to dance? She has certainly not danced this evening. Oh but those eyes! Such hidden depths, such beauty in them. The woman behind those eyes is an enigma, and her eyes are so beautiful. What I would give to wake up to see those eyes beside me. To see her beside me. Oh, what bliss that would be!_

Darcy couldn't quite make Miss Elizabeth out and had not quite realised where his thoughts were taking him, until the thought of waking up beside her. He blushed and hoped that no one had noticed him lost in his improper thoughts.

This woman teased him, yet she appeared to avoid him. Darcy was surprised as the evening was not generally one for dancing. "Miss Bennet, I would be highly gratified if you would dance with me." Darcy was curiously eager to apply for her hand; he was bemused that for the first time in his life he had to beg a partner to dance with him. However, she had so earnestly declined he had to suffer the rejection.

 _Oh_ , _Miss_ _Elizabeth_ _what_ _bliss_ _do_ _your_ _eyes_ _promise_ _me_? _Could_ _there_ _be_ _a_ _way_ _around_ _the_ _impediments_ _of_ _your_ _birth_ _and_ _fortune_? _A_ _man_ _could_ _drown_ _in_ _those_ _chocolate_ _brown_ _eyes_ _of_ _yours._

At this point, Miss Bingley sidled up to him, "I believe I can guess your thoughts at this moment."

Darcy blushed "I should imagine not," he replied contentedly. _Indeed_ , _I_ _hope_ _not_. _My_ _thoughts_ _are_ _not_ _only_ _private_ _but_ _they're going somewhere_ _I_ _NEVER_ _want_ _you_ _to_ _share_. The thought of Miss Bingley approaching where he had been imagining Miss Elizabeth made him want to shudder.

"You are thinking how insupportable it would be to spend many evenings in such tedious company."

 _What this again? You only find the company so boring because you do not read, and you won't inform yourself even of current events. You are an ignorant harpy who is content to stay such._

"No, indeed, my mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure a pair of very fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow." Miss Bingley preened. She wasn't quite sure as to what made a pair of eyes so unique, especially not her brilliant blue eyes. She would, however, take the compliment, all the same, so she asked who's eyes he was contemplating and once he told her, jealousy loosed her tongue and she ran on and on about how charming Miss Elizabeths mother was.

At this moment he thought that he was safe and that he was nowhere near in love. He could not explain to himself the reason that when they left the dinner party, there was a constriction in his chest for the loneliness he had been feeling seemed to have increased again.

 _My Dear Georgiana,_

 _As you know, Bingley took the house in Hertfordshire. Life here is not fashionable, and the people are generally crude and vulgar. However, I have met an attractive young woman. I can see you laughing at me – don't! This girl is accomplished in the ordinary way of things, yet there is something more about her that draws me to her._

 _Her name is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Her father is a lazy man, who although not perfect, still manages to hold onto some semblance of being a gentleman. Her mother, though, is such a rude woman. Even if that were the only objection, Miss Elizabeth and her sisters would find themselves having trouble finding a man who would take them on._

 _Miss Elizabeth has four sisters, one older than herself called Jane, and three younger than herself in age order Mary, Catherine (Kitty to her family and close friends) and Lydia. Lydia is fifteen and a most determined vulgar flirt. She influences Catherine and the two expose themselves and their family to ridicule. You should have seen them running about, shrieking and giggling at a dinner party we attended tonight. Mary is a plain girl who thinks of herself as being the most accomplished girl in the room. Her singing disturbed not only me; neighbourhood dogs outdoors howled as she sang. While her mother tapped her toes in time to the music only politeness kept me in my seat when she performed._

 _Miss Jane and Miss Elizabeth manage somehow to keep themselves out of the vulgarity of their family. I wonder how they do it! They certainly didn't have a good example from their mother!_

 _Back to Miss Elizabeth. She is not handsome in the traditional way, for she has not one elegant feature in her face, her eyes are just so intelligent and beautiful. She somehow has become the most important person in the world to me (you are my sister, so you too are one of the most important people in my life, but this is different). Every dinner party, every dance that I attend I find myself looking for her face, and wondering if she'll be there. I cannot explain it._

 _The family has no particular connections. The father cannot give the daughters an inheritance because the estate is entailed away from the female line thereby leaving their mother's five thousand pound fortune to be divided between the girls upon her death. One thousand pounds is all each daughter will have to her name, leaving her with only fifty pounds a year. I don't understand how they are being kept in hat pins and new dresses, but they are well dressed although probably not in the latest fashions or most expensive fabrics._

 _Georgiana, I am even more determined than ever that I will remain a bachelor for Miss Elizabeth is the only woman of my acquaintance who has managed to pull my interest, and yet she is not only what one would call unsuitable, but I know that were Mother and Father alive they would forbid the match! No, Georgiana I cannot even contemplate allowing myself to fall in love with her. It is just too unsuitable a match._

 _Her eldest sister, Jane, is a very sweet quiet girl who smiles too much, but the wonder is that she is genuine and very refined, just as she is. Bingley seems to be attracted to Jane Bennet. I am a little worried about where this is going for him, but as yet I do not detect any signs of attraction on Miss Jane's side so maybe Bingley will, as usual, lose interest or something. I don't know, but I'm not aware that it's anything too serious. Do not worry about me Georgiana for I am quite safe and will not allow Bingley to disgrace himself or the girl, either._

 _How are your studies going? Are you all right? Thank you for your design for a little table, it looks lovely._

 _I promise to come and see you soon,_

 _Your loving brother,_

 _Fitzwilliam_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **5th November 1811:** **A perfect Woman, nobly plann'd, To warn, to comfort, and command;And yet a Spirit still, and bright With something of an angel light. William Wordsworth, She was a Phantom of Delight.**

 _E_ xtract from the Diary of Fitzwilliam Darcy:

 _Bingley, Hurst and myself spent our day socialising with the officers, which resulted in our dinging with them this evening. Miss Bingley decided to invite Miss Bennet to join her and Mrs Hurst for tea._

 _I really must wonder what on earth goes on in the mind of the Bennet matriarch! Miss Bennet was sent over on horseback, which resulted in her being caught in a violent rainstorm - one I might add that we only just missed getting caught in ourselves. Soaked to the bone, Miss Bennet was left to shiver by Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst next to a fire. If Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were my sisters I would be quite ashamed of them! Anyway the two bitches quizzed her on her connections before the poor girl succumbed to the cold and became feverish and unwell. By the time we arrived back at netherfield the young woman was already installed in a guest room above stairs._

 _I have to wonder what the mother had been thinking, sending the girl over on a horse when the weather was so bad? After all you see hours earlier that the rain was on the horizon. Did the mother not realise that is when people are most likely to become sick? Why didn't they send her in the carriage like others of her station? Surely she could not have done this deliberately?!_

 **6th November 1811**

 _Miss Bennet was worse this morning and so Bingley insisted on calling for the doctor, and Miss Bennet wisely sent a note to Longbourne to say she was unwell. One would have expected her mother to come hurrying over. Colds can after all be dangerous! Bingley lost his father two years ago to a cold and panicked when the doctor stated that Miss Bennet is sick with a cold. However there was no sign of her mother at all today! How can a mother leave her daughter alone in a strange person without so much as a note?_

 _Miss Elizabeth. Ah she is such a wonderful woman! She walked the three miles to come to her sister! Walked! Where is their carriage? Bloody hell I would be ashamed if Georgiana had to walk somewhere because she did not have a carriage at her disposal for her to go wherever she needed to go. I digress. Miss El87 izabeth was not deterred by the walk, but rather her eyes were invigorated and though she was worried about her sister there was something in her cheeks that, well, I would love to induce by quite another activity. What a beast I am! Her sister is ill and her I'm thinking of activities that if she would even consider at other times I'm sure would be furthest from her mind right now! Bingley invited her to stay while her sister recovers, so here I am trying to quiet my mind and body, when all I can think about is going to her sisters room hugging and ravaging her._

 _Why is life so unfair?! Miss Elizabeth is everything proper and lovely, but still were I to marry her there would be hell to pay! Seriously I was brought up with the understanding that good breeding, good connections and a good fortune were so important when one chooses a wife. Miss Elizabeth has the breeding, but her family do not, and she certainly does not have the fortune nor the connections that would be expected of my wife! I can just see her being laughed out of the drawing rooms of the old tabbies! It's infuriating! Aunt Cathrine is only a minor irritation, with her constant 'Marry Anne', but my other Aunts and Uncles certainly would not be happy with me marry so far below my station and would not accept her! Pemberley must have an impeccable mistress! Not to mention that Georgiana must have an impeccable example of a woman to follow in society when she comes out._

 _Back to Mrs Bennet and away from any matrimonial considerations. Seriously could the mothers uncaring attitude to her children get any worse? Miss Elizabeth was so concerned about her sister. Would that I could wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything will be alright with her sister. Oh that I could do more than just helplessly watch as she cares for her sister._

 _I cannot make out whether Miss Bingley is a viper of her own volition or whether she is just jealous of those above her station! The woman (for I cannot call her a lady, despite all her pretentions) has the audacity to criticise her betters (yes as gentleman's daughters the Bennet girls are her superiors) for their behaviour. I was most uncomfortable in the breakfast room this morning. WHat was Miss Bingley thinking commenting on Miss Elizbeths Petticoats? I was already embarassed as I had been thinking of other pleasurable activities that would bring that delightful pink to Miss Elizabeths face, and then the comment about Miss Elizabeth's Petticoats! I found myself in the unfortunate situation of having to linger at the breakfast table for longer than usual to hide the evidence of my thoughts. I find that I am most restless at the moment knowing that she's in the house._

 _After Breakfast I sought solitary entertainment. Pemberley is well run and business is low at this time of year, so I had time to read in the Library. Well I tried to read anyway. By her mere presence Miss Elizabeth distracts me so much! I found it hard to settle so instead I played Billiards. For the whole day. The weather was too inclement to go out on Romeo. However the evening was a delight._

 _Upon entering the salon before dinner Bingley wanted to know where I had disappeared to and then Miss Bingley asked why I had not joined her and Mrs Hurst. The truth was not something she would wish to hear for_ _I'd rather be in a pit of snakes than to be in her company all day! Not to mention that I couldn't have borne anyone's company who was not Miss Elizabeth_. __ _I genuinely do not understand her unkindness and incivility. They're matched only by her inability to understand what it takes to interest a man such as myself. I couldn't politely say that, so just mumbled somthing to the effect that I wanted to be alone._

 _Miss Elizabeth was unsurprisingly the last one to join us in the salon. Her sister seem to be really unwell and Miss Elizabeth sees very unwilling to leave her more than is necessary. This is very commendable. And were I in love it would certainly make me love her more. There's a pull to her that I really do not yet fully understand in myself. Bingley at least remembered his manners and escorted her into dinner, as was proper. Unfortunately I had no one who could remove the odious duty of escorting the viper into dinner from my shoulders. Sometimes being the highest ranking member of the party has it's drawbacks and having to excort the viper to dinner is a drawback._

 _Miss Elizabeth went back to her sister after dinner, but joined us in the drawing room late in the evening. I think she thought the stakes of our card game would be too high, and I would gladly have provided her an amount for her to join. Anyway she made straight for the pile of books that I had left on the side intending to read. I blushed as she picked up_ "The Monk". _I could only sit and think Thank1_ _goodness you don't know that book is mine! Or that I was reading it._

 _The whole conversation of the evening was banal chit-chat that one would expect in the posturing drawing rooms of town. The Bingley's showed themselves up in their own ignorance and lack of desire to improve themselves. All the sisters care about is social advancement, and accomplishments that really do not add anything to a gentleman's life. Atleast Miss Elizabeth is an avid reader - even if she does read books that I would not allow Georgiana to read…_

1 The Monk by Matthew Gregory Lewis. This is a story about a Monk who is seduced by a demon and then goes on to commit some rather heinous crimes. Some scenes are explicit in nature and therefore this would not be viewed as acceptable reading for young ladies of the time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **17** **th** **November 1811 - Do what you will, this world's a fiction and is made up of contradiction. William Blake**

 _M_ iss Elizabeth's visit at Netherfield continued for a total of five days, while her sister Jane recovered from her illness. During those days Darcy found himself looking forward to seeing Miss Elizabeth in the morning, and every morning he sent messages asking about Miss Jane's health. Breakfast was a joy and Darcy found himself eager to sit next to Miss Elizabeth. During those moments that he was in Miss Elizabeth's company that nagging feeling of loneliness lifted, but it soon descended even worse when she left the room. It was during this visit that Darcy realised that he was in great danger of falling in love. On the final day, Saturday, Darcy sat in the library with Elizabeth all morning, trying to read, and consequently, he didn't say a word to her all day. However, after Elizabeth had returned home, Darcy found himself regretting that as the house seemed cold and lonely.

Darcy could not contemplate why the loss of Elizabeth and her sister should result in him feeling lonely. However he decided that he would once again write to Georgiana to fill the pages with what had happened the last two days, having written two days previously, when he wrote a letter he did not intend to send, but rather just gave vent to the contradictions that were in his mind.

 _Dearest Georgiana,_

 _I am lost. I am falling in love with one of the most unsuitable young ladies I have ever met. Her mother, as you know, is a horrid woman who wants nothing more than my ten thousand a year for her daughter, or would if I were to allow my interest to show. Miss Elizabeth is the wittiest and most vivacious woman I have ever met! She is so sensible and ladylike, yet does not seem to bother one wit about my money. She appears to be on a course to try and make me hate her, yet the cheekier she is, the more I love her for being so. She loves her sister so much that she came to Netherfield on her own, and walked the whole three miles ending up with petticoats that were six inches thick with mud, which though I noticed them, they detracted nothing from how bright the exercise has made her eyes. Those beautiful eyes! Georgiana you would not imagine how many nights I have gone to sleep with the image of those soft brown eyes, in which I wish to drown. I find that I have found a woman that I could make an offer to, Georgiana, and yet I cannot make that offer for mother and father would forbid such a union were they alive to see it._

 _I cannot describe to you how torn I feel right now. I am beginning to love this girl so much, and yet I know that she's forbidden fruit. I fear dearest Georgiana that I am a lost cause now. However, I am more determined than ever that I shall NEVER marry Anne. I find myself for the first time in my life I don't know what to do. I am so full of contradictions that I don't know what to do or how to conduct myself. I feel so lost. I miss our parents. Georgiana, I wish that you could help me. I try not to show that I Lam in love with her, and yet I find myself loving her all the more. She has me totally under her spell. If I don't leave here soon then, I shall be doing the unthinkable and make an offer to a woman who has no connections, no money, in fact, nothing but her wit, her caring and her manners to recommend her. Miss Jane, her sister, is also a very ladylike young woman, and I feel for her and Miss Elizabeth for they both lose out to other young women because of their lack of connections, their relations and their lack of a fortune. Why I am considering her, I cannot understand. Here I am totally lost and totally in love._

 _Yours Etc._

 _Fitzwilliam_

He then took his letter, wrote Georgiana's name on the front and filed it in his writing case. He then took another piece of paper and wrote the letter that he would actually send.

 _Dearest Georgiana,_

 _I hope that you and Mrs Annesley are well. We are all well here in Hertfordshire. Bingley is relieved that Miss Bennet is feeling better, and she and her sister Miss Elizabeth have just left to go back to Longbourne House, where they live with their parents._

 _Much has happened since I last wrote you. I told you in my letter three days ago how Miss Elizabeth's mother had visited with her two youngest daughters. What a scene they created – embarrassing poor Miss Elizabeth. I felt quite sorry for her._

 _Well, that evening I had a delightful conversation with Miss Elizabeth which, although it was in a general setting and in front of everyone else, I must admit I enjoyed immensely. It turns out that Miss Elizabeth studies character, and though she loves to laugh at the ridiculous and absurd she does know what character flaws not to laugh at!_

 _Miss Elizabeth is a worthy debate opponent to me and Miss Bingley just cannot keep up with our banter. It's delicious. I have so enjoyed having Miss Elizabeth's company here at Netherfield (although I would not wish Miss Jane ill again just to have her here again). Miss Bingley is delightfully jealous of Miss Elizabeth, who really couldn't care less. I am so delighted not only that Miss Elizabeth can put Miss Bingley in her place, but rather that Miss Elizabeth is just so charming. It is almost as if she dances when she walks. She walks almost everywhere (being not so confident with horses, so it's either a carriage or walking for her)._

 _The following morning I was walking with Miss Bingley when Miss Elizabeth and Mrs. Hurst joined us, I was dreadfully sorry that the promenade here could not hold all four of us, but alas Miss Elizabeth took the opportunity to run off. I must admit and confess to being disappointed. Also, I do not think that Miss Bingley would be very civil for too long, as she says the most atrocious things about poor Miss Elizabeth, who doesn't deserve even half of what Miss Bingley says about her. I was afraid that they might have overheard Miss Bingley trying to tease me about my interest in Miss Elizabeth (Which I must confess I am in danger of becoming much more than just interest, although I am determined that Miss Elizabeth must NEVER know or suspect it to be the case!)You know how unsuitable a match she is for me. I made sure that Miss Elizabeth would not suspect my interest. You know how I keep my emotions to myself._

 _However, there is something about Miss Elizabeth that is so different to all the other young ladies I have met. You know she refused to dance a reel when I asked her the other night when Miss Bingley was playing the pianoforte. The only thing I can think of is that I upset her the first time I met her. I regret now saying that she was not handsome enough to tempt me. What was I thinking?! Georgiana, I regret that first night I met her, and even then she drew me – against my will! I need to leave Hertfordshire, and yet I promised I would stay until Bingley and his sister had settled in. I need to put some distance between her and me._

 _Bingley talks about hosting a ball at the end of November. I hope he does as I have to come to London after that. After all, they will have settled in then, and I cannot stay away from London any longer, as the house somehow has more business than Pemberley._

 _I look forward to seeing you in London for a couple of weeks, and I promise that we'll go to Pemberley at Christmas. You know how impatient I am to see you at all times. Miss Bingley told me many messages to give you the other night, yet somehow I cannot remember one of them, my mind was so full of Elizabeth, and so was my letter._

 _Yours etc._

 _Fitzwilliam_

Darcy sealed this letter up and addressed it and called the servant to send it. Soon Georgiana would understand his state of mind. Darcy felt so torn; he was so shy that talking to Eliza was difficult for him and yet he looked forward to the Netherfield Ball at the end of the November.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **19th November 1811 - The Common curse of mankind - folly and ignorance. Troilus and Cressida Act II Scene III Shakespeare.**

 _T_ here were few engagements between the Miss Bennets leaving and the Netherfield ball so that the rest of the month threatened to drag for Darcy. However, a circumstance two days after they left brought new problems for Darcy. He and Mr. Bingley had gone for a ride, intending to enquire at Longbourn about Miss Bennet's health when they happened to meet the young ladies while on their way. At first, Darcy's attention was distracted, and all he saw was Miss Elizabeth. He tried to keep his eyes off her. However, this was not to be. Next to Miss Elizabeth stood a young man, rather too close for Darcy's comfort. Just as he was trying to settle who this young man was, for Miss Eliza seemed embarrassed and indifferent about the young gentleman, his attention was caught by two gentlemen in militia in itself was unremarkable in that the militia had recently come to Meryton, and that the younger two Bennet sisters, Kitty and Lydia spent as much time as they could with officers was no secret.

However, one of the young men of the militia seemed familiar. This young man drew Darcy's gaze, and as he turned around, the anger from the year before came flooding back, turning Darcy's face white with rage. The young man was none other than Mr. Wickham. Mr. Wickham's face turned red upon seeing Darcy.

 _Bloody Hell! I'm going to kill Fitzwilliam! I should also kill Wickham while I'm about it! It just my bloody bad luck that that good for nothing louse should end up in this regiment here in Meryton! Nobody is bloody safe with that excuse for a human being around. What bloody nefarious acts is he up to now? No doubt it will be another mess that I am expected to clean up! Father, I don't bloody well know why you allowed that man to call on the Darcy coffers like you did! It has to stop! There's nothing else to be done! Poor Georgiana, even if I wanted to bring here down to meet the elder two Miss Bennets there's no way to do it now!_

Mr. Wickham touched his hat in greeting, and Darcy just about managed to return the greeting. Mr. Bingley and Darcy then rode on. _What is he doing here? How long has he bloody been here? What the hell was he doing with Miss Elizabeth and her family? I love Miss Elizabeth; I hope that man does nothing against that family, though Miss Lydia would fall quickly under his spell – what about Elizabeth? Is Elizabeth interested in this man? I have no right to interfere with Miss Elizabeth's life, yet should I warn their father about his character? No, I cannot. Georgiana must be protected at all costs. Maybe he is changed, maybe the militia will give him a sense of discipline to keep him in line. I have no place sinking another person's character without proof that things are amiss. Perhaps I should leave well enough alone. Did the Bennets know Mr. Wickham before the militia brought him here?_

For the life of him, Darcy could not understand why Wickham would be talking to the Miss Bennets in such a familiar way. For the time being the other odd gentleman was forgotten.

The next day Mr. Bingley and his sisters visited Longbourn and issued their invitation to the ball the next Tuesday. Darcy himself was anxious to see the ball come, even though the invitation to the officers of the militia would include Wickham. However he would once more be in the society of Miss Elizabeth, and Darcy resolved to watch any exchange between Miss Elizabeth and Wickham. If he saw any cause for concern about Wickham then he would communicate with Mr. Bennet. However, if there were no such symptoms, then he would leave Hertfordshire and bear his knowledge of Wickham away with him.

The week seemed to drag for Darcy, for it was raining buckets, making any ventures out of doors impossible. The ladies, as usual, declared themselves miserable. Darcy, Bingley and Mr. Hurst spent many tedious hours playing loo and many other card games, just to keep the ladies entertained. Each time they sat down Darcy would remember that first evening Miss Elizabeth was with them, and he would smile. He decided though that he preferred sitting with his book (which was the same one Miss Elizabeth had chosen that first evening). Darcy had not read more than two paragraphs since Miss Elizabeth had left, and he had hoped that the rain would accord him time to read. Alas, the ladies insisted upon playing cards almost every waking minute. He was tired of playing Loo, Commerce, Vingt-un ad nauseam. The ball would bring a welcome change. Eventually, the week passed and the night of the ball came.

At length, Tuesday, 26 November arrived, and Darcy took extra care bathing and getting ready for the ball. However, he didn't appear downstairs until the Bennets arrived. Darcy waited by his bedroom window, without even a candle, to see the moment Miss Elizabeth arrived. He couldn't distinguish much as she stepped out of the carriage, except that it was Elizabeth, so he made his way downstairs, with time to spare before the first dance.

Elizabeth, it appeared, was looking for someone who was not there this evening. Darcy and overheard Mr. Denny informing Elizabeth and Lydia that "Mr. Wickham had been obliged to go to town on a business matter yesterday. "However, I do not imagine that his business would have called him away just now if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here." _So as I thought, he's still a coward. Probably he's up to no good anyway._ However, Darcy was happy for he would not be subjected to watching Elizabeth dancing with Mr. Wickham.

The first dance was now about to start, and Darcy was about to make his way to ask Elizabeth for these two dances when he saw Elizabeth being claimed by the other odd gentleman he had seen with Elizabeth and her sisters in Meryton a week earlier. He now pondered who this oddity could be. A visitor for sure, but Darcy thought he had arrived with the Bennets. Time would answer the conundrum, but Darcy wanted to know, and couldn't help the slight pang of jealousy he felt watching Miss Elizabeth dancing with this strange man who, by the looks of it, had never learned to dance.

Darcy, therefore, sat out these two dances as he had neither humour nor inclination to dance with any other young lady in the room, nor did he wish to show any preference for any other young lady. Very quickly Darcy felt sorry for Elizabeth and very jealous of the young man. It was evident from the beginning that the young gentleman knew nothing of the dance. He was awkward at best and at worst, clumsy and apologetic. This, however, didn't appear to matter to him as he stumbled through the first two dances.

For the third set, before Darcy could move in her direction, Miss Elizabeth was claimed by an officer. Then there was a break when she was not sought for a set. Darcy saw his chance to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room, and made his way over to ask her for the next two dances. She accepted immediately. Having been accepted, Darcy was now sure of his partner, but unsure how to make conversation, so he walked away until the dancing recommenced at which time he swiftly moved to claim Elizabeth's hand.

The dance was now to be both bliss and agony. Afterwards, Darcy was not at all sure how to describe it. At first, the feeling of being so physically close to Elizabeth overwhelmed him so much that he was silent. After a short time though, Elizabeth made a brief comment about the dance; he replied absentmindedly. All he could think was _I love you so much, but I cannot have you. Well for these two dances you are mine_. Shortly afterwards though Elizabeth's voice again came, "It's your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you _ought_ to make some remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."

"Whatever you wish me to say, shall be said," he replied, smiling. _However, I cannot say the very thing I want to say. Not now, not ever._

"Very well. That reply will do for the present. Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. But for now we may be happy.

 _Surely she knows me better than this by now. What is she doing? Where is she going with this? Why does she think that we should be talking by rule?_ "Do you talk by rule when you are dancing?"

"Sometimes. One conversation ought to be so arranged, as they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible."

 _Do you not want to talk to me very much? Or are you just toying with me, flirting almost?_ ""Are you consulting your feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?" _I just love talking to you – I don't care about the subject matter. I want to drown in your eyes and to hear your voice. I want so much to know you intimately - very intimately._

"Both, for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb."

"This is no striking resemblance to your character, I am sure", _and you misrepresent mine._ "How near it might be to mine, I cannot pretend to say, you think it is a faithful portrait I am sure."

"I must not decide on my performance"

 _Oh, that we had the same laws as Scotland. We could declare before all tonight we wanted to be married, and I could... Mmm perhaps best not go there right now…_

Darcy had no inclination to answer her, for if he had he would have been on his knees begging for her to marry him. This was something he was determined that none but himself and Georgiana should know. As they went down the dance, he could not think of anything but how beautiful Elizabeth looked tonight – had she made an extra effort this evening? For whom? He didn't care.

 _Oh Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth! I wish that I was free to love you and marry you. How could I fulfil my obligations to my family, my name, Georgiana and still marry you? I must be the biggest fool to torment myself like this, but I cannot reconcile my love for you and my obligations to my family._

He basked in the joy of dancing with Elizabeth and wondered whether it would be best to try to forget her after this evening. Once they had gone down the dance Darcy recollected that they had walked to Meryton when they met Wickham that day. "Do you and your sisters walk often into Meryton?"

"Yes," She replied and then added, "When you met us the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance."

Darcy flushed red. _What has that man told her? I know he's told untruths about our dealings, but surely the man wouldn't tell a complete stranger? What about Georgiana? Is my sister's reputation still intact? Why, why, why should I not open her eyes to that man's character?_

For a few moments Darcy could not speak for fear that he would tell Elizabeth the whole sorry story, and yet he desired to warn her that Wickham was not an honourable man. Eventually, he had himself under control enough to say, "Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends – whether he is capable of retaining them, is less certain."

"He has been so unlucky as to lose _your_ friendship and in a manner that he is likely to suffer from all his life." This last comment of Elizabeth's was like a knife in Darcy's heart. _Oh God! Please no! I can bear anything than Elizabeth becomes enamoured of Wickham! Perhaps he's only told her that old chestnut of the denied living._ Could it be that yet again Wickham was displacing him in the affections of a young lady with his web of deceit and his easy manners? However, Darcy, as desirous as he was to change the subject, had no time to think.

Sir William Lucas was passing through the dancing set and stopped to congratulate Darcy on his superior dancing and dropped a hint that there were expectations that Bingley would make an offer to Jane, and that offer would be accepted. This made Darcy immediately look towards Mr. Bingley and Jane dancing together, realising that he had to intervene. However, that would have to wait and, when Sir William moved off, Darcy said, "Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking about."

"I do not think we were talking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room with less to say for themselves. We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk about next I cannot imagine." _I do not understand why you are so determined not to talk to me about anything with substance. Perhaps books would be a better and safer topic._

Remembering her sitting with one of the books that he had brought into the saloon when Jane was ill at Netherfield he asked her, "what think you of books?"

"Books-oh! No. I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings."

"I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions."

"No- I cannot talk about books in a ballroom: my head is always full of something ."

Darcy could not for the life of him remember the rest of their banal conversation after that, but only that when they parted, Darcy felt as if he never wanted to part from Elizabeth again. This he knew was not to be the case, as the young chap who had danced the first with Elizabeth now started hovering around Elizabeth putting it out of the question that Elizabeth could be induced to dance with Darcy or anyone else anymore that evening.

 _Leave the woman alone you numbskull! It's blatantly obvious that she cannot stand you! You've now ruined the rest of her evening anyway because now she's refused you, she cannot dance with anyone else the rest of the night! Others of us wanted to dance with her again_!

Supper brought more evidence as to why Darcy could never act on the emotions that were brewing in his breast. Scarcely had Darcy sat down at the supper table, but the strange young man came up to him and accosted him with a bow and then said, "Mr. Darcy, I apologise that I have not made myself known to you earlier. I am William Collins, parson of Lady Catherine DeBourgh of Hunsford. I understand that you are the nephew of Lady Catherine, and therefore I am in the happy position to inform you the Lady Catherine was in excellent health when I left Hunsford eight days ago."

All Darcy wanted to do was to tell this strange man to _Bugger off!_ Instead Darcy civilly replied, "Thank you, I am glad to hear it." Darcy was distractedly as his mind was engaged in thinking about Miss Bennet and Mr. Bingley.

"I am very indebted to your aunt, Mr. Darcy, and if my fair cousin consents to marry me, then I shall hope to be back with your aunt very soon. May I also wish you congratulations that your fair cousin is destined to be your wife? Lady Catherine talks of little else when she entertains me to tea." Mr Collins looked like he was about to go on. However Darcy was offended at the free and easy manner in which this odd gentleman accosted him. Hehad no wish to hear any more either about Mr. Collins hope to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet nor any more about the plan his aunt had for him to marry Anne.

This recent speech aroused such contempt in him, and such jealousy, that Darcy did not trust himself to answer in a civil manner. Therefore Darcy gave Mr Collins a quick bow and walked away to another part of the room.

At this point Darcy wondered if the evening could get any worse. He had enjoyed dancing with Elizabeth, however Sir William's information was rambling around his head, and Darcy was trying to watch to see if there was affection between his friend and Miss Bennet, something that he was not seeing on Miss Bennet's side. Miss Bennet appeared very serene and composed and did not seem to have any depth of feeling for Mr. Bingley, so Darcy purposed that an intervention was in order.

However Darcy was not free to plan his intervention very well for once he had freed himself from Mr. Collins, they all sat down to supper. Unfortunately, somehow he was at the same table as Mrs. Bennet and heard her loud and obnoxious proclamation that she entertained the same hopes as Sir William had conveyed earlier in the evening. Darcy ignored all of her effusions about how Bingley was a good a match for Jane and how settled to her mother Jane would be. However, Darcy noticed Elizabeth blushing and trying to check her mother. This led to Mrs. Bennet exclaiming "What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray, that I should be afraid of him? I am sure we owe no such particular civility as to be obliged to say nothing he may not wish to hear."

 _Your daughters should not have to manage your behaviour in public, Madam! How did your two eldest daughters become so well mannered? It certainly was NOT your example, and although your husband doesn't have quite such bad manners, he obviously can't be bothered to aid your progress in society any. If anyone should check you, it's your husband. What is the man thinking? He certainly does not rule his house as he should._ Darcy didn't hear Elizabeth's reply it being stated in a soft, quiet undertone. However whatever she said had no effect on the mother, and she ran on full force.

Darcy was recalling how many balls he had been to and been bored the whole time through having few or no persons to talk to the whole way through, but he could not recall one where such vulgarity was exposed by one particular family. He knew that sometimes one member of a family had accidentally exposed themselves, but that was usually covered up quickly and dealt with so that none dared to laugh or in any otherwise despise that member of the family. However, the Bennets seemed to be totally unconscious of the fact that the younger girls flirting with the officers was giving them a bad name, and that the mother was entirely given up to vulgarity. Darcy had never known the like. Somehow at each turn that he thought the evening could not get any worse it took yet another turn for the worse.

Darcy wasn't sure at what point his consciousness changed from his discomfort to that of Miss Elizabeth. Every time his eyes were turned to her as they frequently were, he saw her blush and looking uncomfortable and embarrassed by her mother and his discomfort on her behalf was excruciating. He felt the contradictions between his longing to wrap his arms around her and assure that despite her family's deficiencies he loved her and wanted to marry her. However, the expectations on his shoulders of the kind of woman he should marry nearly tore him apart as the evening wore on.

When he turned his mind to Miss Jane Bennet, Darcy could not make her out. She was so serene that Darcy could not make out if she were embarrassed by her family or not. Her behaviour was uniform and her countenance hid all form of emotion. Darcy decided could not make out if she had any remarkable loving feelings toward Bingley or not, or even if she felt any emotion. It did not for a minute occur to him that she might wear a public mask as much as he did.

He turned his attention back to Miss Elizabeth and felt every embarrassment that she felt as if it were his own embarrassment. Anything that made Miss Elizabeth uncomfortable made him the more so, and he wished for the privileges of a husband to shield her from such pain.

At some point, Bingley called for a song, and Mary Bennet moved quickly to the pianoforte and gave a bad rendition. She began a second song, causing Mr. Bennet to rise to tell her to let the other young ladies have time to exhibit. Oh, how much he longed for an excuse to aid Miss Elizabeth. Her discretion and her manners were without fault. She did not deserve to be embarrassed in such a way. Oh, to be able to take Elizabeth out of this ball where she looked so embarrassed and unhappy, yet he could not think how he could do that. Why oh why could he not have husbandly privileges? This ball was torture for both of them.

Recalling his attention to the room, he heard lecturing on the innocence of music as a diversion . Not always. In times gone by and amongst the heathens, music is used to whip up the passions and to induce immorality. Mrs. Bennet once more started up, this time to say loudly that Mr. Collins was such a sensible young man, a conclusion that only a vulgar person would make. She went on to say how Elizabeth would make him a good wife. Jealousy once more rose in Darcy's breast, and he sent a silent prayer up to heaven

 _Oh god! No, she must not marry another, especially that man! Hmmm, if I were less honourable, struggling as I am, the dishonourable solution would be to offer her carte blanche, to be my wife in all but name. No! No Darcy child will be born outside of wedlock. It unsupportable! Oh please do not let her not marry such a ridiculous man. My heart would be forever torn asunder should I have the misfortune to have to see Miss Elizabeth miserable in marriage. It will be bad enough should I not find a way in which I could make her my wife._

There was nothing that Darcy could do, though. He must give up any thought of Elizabeth. Her family proved that the only two who were irreproachable in the company were Miss Jane and Miss Elizabeth. Even then Darcy was not sure if disapproved of the family behaviour or not. That would not go well for them and, given their lack of connections, no respectable family would encourage a match with either of them. No, he could no longer think of Elizabeth. He would recover in time, and he must make sure that his friend stops giving any attention to her elder sister.

As the dancing recommenced, Darcy was about to offer Elizabeth to dance the next two with him. However Mr. Collins was now again asking Miss Elizabeth himself, and Darcy saw Miss Elizabeth refuse. Darcy was in no humour to dance with any other woman, so he passed the rest of the night in misery watching Elizabeth sitting with a man who refused to leave her side, even though it was clear that she had no pleasure in his company. Something in Darcy yearned to go to relieve her plight, yet he felt danger in doing so, therefore he decided not to dance anymore that night either. He also did not dare to talk to Elizabeth anymore. This lead to him pace the room for the rest of the evening, although often being drawn to where Elizabeth was sitting. Mr. Collins seemed to have no interesting topic of conversation, but alas Darcy noticed Elizabeth's best friend Charlotte Lucas often sitting with them and trying to take Mr. Collins' attention away from Elizabeth, which brought a new idea to Darcy's mind.

Maybe Elizabeth would refuse this man's overtures, and maybe Miss Lucas intended to marry him herself if she could. Being a sensible man, Darcy decided that he would not hope for such a happy conclusion for himself. All of this was so uncomfortable to Darcy that he felt the need to escape.

Once the ball was over, the Bennets were the last to leave. At last, all the evening's guests were gone, and Darcy excused himself immediately to go to bed.

Closing the door of his bedroom, Darcy found his head full of too many contradictions. He took his journal out from the writing desk he carried with him when he traveled. He ruled the page into three columns. At the top of the first column he wrote Miss Elizabeth's name, at the top of a second, he wrote his own, and at the top if the third he wrote his sister's name. From there he proceeded to list the events of the night as best he could from what he perceived would have been the perspective of the person at the top of the column. Miss Elizabeth he knew was totally embarrassed by her family that night. Had it been Georgiana he knew she would have been totally humiliated and not wanting to show her face in public for a month. His tactic did not work: he realised he had no point of reference to judge whether or not this was a regular occurrence (true, he had viewed lapses in the family at other events, but nothing on the scale of tonight).

The more he thought about Mr. Collins, the more he came to rue even dwelling on the thought of Miss Elizabeth and that man! Miss Elizabeth is so witty and vivacious, so beautiful and intelligent, but Mr Collins is so shallow and obsessed with monetary wealth, so solemn and such a bumbling idiot. That would be a bad match iof character. Further, his aunt would not like Miss Elizabeth at all. However, Darcy did have to admit from a prudential standpoint there was a certain amount of sense in marrying the man set to inherit your family home.

Darcy nearly decided to ride over in the morning and offer his hand to Elizabeth. No, he couldn't do that! Her mother, father, and younger sisters made such a bad impression on his mind that he could not be happy with such a family and gave up that thought almost entirely. How could he offer his hand to Elizabeth and then stop his friend doing the same to her older sister? No, it would not do. Bingley must never make that offer to Miss Bennet, and Darcy must never make his offer to Miss Elizabeth. No there was nothing he could do to prevent Elizabeth marrying either the clergyman or Wickham if he were careless enough to make such an offer. Miss Elizabeth had to choose for herself without him.

The contradictions raged around his head all night; he could think of nothing else. He still feared also that once he made his mind up and shared Georgiana's near disgrace that Miss Elizabeth would despise both he and Georgiana. He wanted Miss Elizabeth so badly but feared that there was no way to make her his.

He had a headache; he was jealous and he was unable to make sense of his feelings, Miss Bennet's feelings and Miss Elizabeth's feelings. He faltered with indecision, and he ached to do the opposite of what his mind told him should be done. He could not write to his sister, nor could he decide the best course of action. He missed His parents; he missed his sister; he missed Elizabeth; he missed his cousin – he had nobody who could advise him or help him. He felt so bloody lonely, that suddenly the future and his world looked bleak. Nothing he could do would change that.

He could not ask Bingley's advice for Bingley always relied heavily on Darcy to help him. He cursed himself for indecision. He cursed himself for falling in love. By morning the contradictions still raged, but Darcy had chosen his course of action and would see it through even though he felt it tear his heart to shreds. Having made his decision he crawled into bed and slept for a couple of hours, before getting up and speaking to Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst to see if they thought Miss Bennet cared about Bingley. Why it was that Darcy didn't consider asking the advice of Miss Elizabeth, is something he would later regret. It would not be until the following year that he would realise he had let an important chance to avoid making a mistake pass him by.

Sleep however still would not come, and so, Darcy was up early and downstairs before Mr. Bingley left for London. Darcy wouldn't speak to Bingley now about Miss Bennet. Soon after breakfasting Mr. Bingley left for London, and now Darcy put his plan into action.

"Miss Bingley, I would like to know what your opinion is whether or not Miss Bennet cares for you brother."

"Mr Darcy, I assure you that she does not care about my brother at all."

You are no friend to the match I know, can I trust your judgement on this matter? """Can you be sure of that?"

"Yes Mr Darcy, I am totally convinced of it."

"What about Mr Bingley, does he care about Miss Bennet?"

"Definitely, but he will listen to you if you tell him that she does not care about him."

"Hmmm ok, I think then we should follow him to London – there I will talk to him myself." This was enough confirmation to Darcy that he was correct in his measure of the situation. He listened to Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst express their fears all day. The instructions were given to the servants to close up the house and send their luggage to London. Miss Bingley then wrote a letter to Miss Bennet and the business of the day was sorted.

That evening Darcy tried to read, but his lack of sleep from the night before meant that he couldn't concentrate on his book. Early Darcy made his excuses and went to bed. He slept fitfully that night and wondered if he would ever sleep soundly again. His dreams were filled with Miss Elizabeth in very improper situations and with scolding, crying women.

The next morning he and Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst left before breakfast and arrived at Grosvenor Street by mid-afternoon. Mr Bingley was at home and immediately Darcy drew him aside. "Bingley I must talk to you about something important," he began as soon as they were alone.

"Upon my word Darcy, whatever can be so important?"

"I must talk to you about Miss Bennet," began Darcy, knowing that if he put it off, his determination would waver about Elizabeth.

"Darcy, she is the most beautiful woman of our acquaintance, and I love her," declared Bingley. Darcy groaned inside knowing if he were challenged about Elizabeth that would have been his response. However, Miss Bennet did not return Mr. Bingley's affection, and so the hard task is now going to happen.

"Bingley, do you have any intentions towards that woman?"

"Well, I hadn't made any plans to make her an offer yet."

"Good. Do you think that Miss Bennet returns your affection?"

"Well, yes. I believe that she does. What do you think? You've been silent and grave at most of our engagements. You say little and find out more than I do."

"Bingley, I'm sorry to say that from what I have observed and heard she does not return your affection. However, the mother is determined that you should marry her."

"Darcy, I do not know what makes you say that."

"There are more objections to the lady, did you not notice the family's behaviour at your ball two days ago?"

"To what are you referring?"

"Your position in society is vulnerable. While it is true that Miss Bennet is a gentleman daughter, her relations are closer to trade than you are. Our society would never accept her. The mother is a common woman who talks incessantly about your marriage and what a great match it will be and how it'll put the other girls in a way to meet other rich men, but Bingley you would be disgraced in the eyes of the world. No respectable families would accept such a family, despite them being of gentle birth. Also, they have no fortune and no connections."

"Bingley, whatever your feelings for her, you would be doing her kindness not to return and create any more expectations. Already there are expectations that you would make her an offer, and as a genteel lady, she would be duty bound to accept. There is nothing to be done, Bingley; you must give her up" and I must give up Miss Elizabeth. The same objections have more weight on me than on you, especially with Georgiana. He added silently. "Both of your reputations will be damaged if you pay her any more attention without offering for her."

"Well….put it that way…" Mr. Bingley hesitated.

"Bingley, I mean for you to improve your condition and position in life. Remember that your family was in a trade just one generation back. You need to improve your connections, and not marry a girl whose closest relations are actively involved in trade."

"What about you? Caroline has been dropping hints all autumn about Miss Elizabeth."

"To marry such a girl would disgrace me in the eyes of the world." Darcy was uncomfortable knowing that just the other night he thought that he might make Miss Elizabeth an offer. This piece of information he kept to himself, lest Bingley take it as an encouragement. Darcy also knew that he would have to have this conversation many times with Bingley before the winter was through.

"Ok, Darcy, I will stay in town for the moment," said Bingley. "I shall miss her, though."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **25** **th** **December 1811: Now is the winter of our discontent - King Richard III - Shakespeare**

 _N_ ovember changed to December, and soon Christmas was upon them, and though Mr. Darcy had planned to have Christmas at Pemberley, the roads were snowed in and slippery. So Georgiana and Darcy had Christmas in town with the Bingleys. Darcy, in fact, had to talk Mr. Bingley out of sending a trifle to Miss Bennet several times. However, in the end, Mr. Bingley had listened and did not sent a trifle to Miss Bennet. Darcy had seen several ribbons in the millimeters he would have sent to Elizabeth, but contented himself with buying them for Georgiana instead, and on Christmas morning he enjoyed seeing Georgiana's delight at the ribbons and trifles he had purchased for her throughout the year.

After the presents they breakfasted and then, sitting in the drawing room, Georgiana saw something on his face that led her to say, "Fitzwilliam, tell me more about Elizabeth Bennet."

 _Please don't go there, Georgiana. You don't know how heartbroken I am that the only intelligent woman I've met that I could offer for is so unsuitable for me that I cannot make the very offer my heart yearns to make._ ""I cannot say much more. As you know, there was a ball at Netherfield just before we left Hertfordshire. Two days before, in fact. I had the pleasure of dancing with her. Georgiana, I love her. She is beautiful. However, I must now give her up as a lost cause." He found himself unwilling to tell his sister about how terribly the family had exposed themselves and thereby Jane and Elizabeth were poor candidates for marriage.

Georgiana was not to be put off so easily though and gently prompted him by asking "Is the family so very awful?"

"Worse than you can imagine, Georgiana. A cousin of theirs was at the ball. He is such a bumbling idiot. You might get an idea when I say he's the worst rector that Aunt Catherine has given the living to yet! Sorry, Georgiana, you know how I don't like to talk about any young man in such terms, but such he is. The mother was putting it around that Mr. Bingley would marry Miss Bennet and that this cousin would marry Miss Elizabeth. She is lost to me. She is a sensible woman, and regarding fortune, it's a good match. I cannot imagine that she would refuse the man. However, even if she does, I have reason to fear that she has taken a fancy to who has taken a commission in the _Militia that is stationed at Meryton. I am sorry to mention him Georgiana, but I must explain my heart to you, and you, dear Georgiana, are the only one to whom I dare tell these things. Either way, Miss Elizabeth is lost to me. I must give her up. Besides how could I marry a woman who has neither connections nor fortune?"

"I'm sorry for you Fitzwilliam," said Georgiana simply. "But are the connections and fortune so dreadfully important?"

"Yes Georgiana, connections and fortune are the way in which we advance our social position. They are what the Ton looks at to decide if a person is acceptable. I knew that it could go nowhere Georgiana, but oh, when her family were exposing themselves at the Netherfield ball I wanted so much to save her from it. I was so tempted to pull her away from what was happening to reassure her that her families' behaviour was not making me think any worse of her. Indeed it made me admire her so much more as she and her elder sister kept themselves from the despicable behaviour."

"You have a kind heart. You are the best of brothers, Fitzwilliam." At this, Darcy had no answer for he felt like the worst having nearly degraded her by offering his hand to Miss Elizabeth. Suddenly he felt very guilty for the near disgrace and resolved that, even if Mr. Bingley should return to Netherfield, Darcy would not go with him unless he had thoroughly beaten this unsuitable attachment

Darcy spent the rest of the day in quiet contemplation and reading until it was time to dress for dinner. Darcy and Georgiana separated to go and change. Soon Mr. and Miss Bingley arrived for the evening dinner party. Viscount Milton and Colonel Fitzwilliam also came, however, Mr. and Mrs. Hurst were engaged elsewhere and were unable to accept Darcy's invitation.

The dinner went well, and after the two ladies had withdrawn to the drawing-room, Darcy relaxed with cigars and port. The gentlemen were silent for a while and then The Viscount and Mr. Bingley went through to the ladies, but Darcy asked Colonel Fitzwilliam to stay behind to speak to him. The Colonel obliged, smiling. Once the door was closed behind the other two gentlemen, Darcy started, "Fitzwilliam, I need your advice."

"Nothing to do with Georgiana, I hope."

"No, this is my problem. Last autumn I went into Hertfordshire with Bingley, where Bingley has taken a house. We met an unusual family there. The father was a gentleman who had minor lapses where he exposed himself to criticism. The mother, on the other hand, was a repulsive creature. She spoke in a high pitched whine, and what she had to say was painful as she spoke only of money and her delights, specifically seeing her daughters married. Usually, she focused on her eldest daughter, planning on her making a rich match. They have five daughters, all out, and the two youngest are horrible flirts and silly creatures. The family has no connections, and the father's estate is entailed on a male cousin, who himself is a silly, stupid man. When we go to Hunsford, you will meet him, and concur in my estimation of him.

The eldest two girls, though, are very handsome and manage somehow to keep themselves away from the reprehensible behaviour of the rest of the family. The eldest girl is a sweet, serene young woman, but the one I want to talk to you about is her sister. The second eldest girl. Her name is Elizabeth. She is an attractive woman, especially to me. Her performance on the pianoforte, though not entirely skilled, is sweet and beautiful, although her middle sister would always try to succeed her. I was in Miss Elizabeth's company quite a lot in Hertfordshire, and I am quite certain nobody knows of my attraction to her. However, I want to know if I did the right thing in not letting anyone know of my attraction and whether or not I should have made her an offer. I doubt myself."

"Well, Darcy, if as you say, there are no connections and no fortune, and an ill-mannered family then yes you did the right thing."

"I've come to miss her, though. She spent five days at Netherfield when her sister took ill visiting Bingley's sisters at Netherfield. I enjoyed talking with her, and I believe I am in love with the girl. I keep wanting to go back to ask her to marry me. She is bright, well read, and a very advanced thinker. I believe she would make an excellent partner in my life."

"Now here's a turn, Darcy, was it not you who asked my brother how he knew that his wife was the one for him?" teased the Colonel.

"I know, but I did not have any idea back then that I was going to fall in love. All I knew was that I was feeling lonely and as if something was missing in my life."

"Well, it seems that something missing was the right woman in your life."

"I know. I've already promised myself that I will not go into Hertfordshire again, and not put myself in her way."

"Probably a wise move if she is as unsuitable as you say, but shall you forget her?"

"No, I shall remain a bachelor for the rest of my life. Georgiana will have Pemberley when I am gone. I can't have the one woman who has captured my heart. I had already reconciled myself to never finding another woman who was my equal. I shall not do so again."

"Heavy thoughts indeed, but if you love this girl this much, you have a fortune large enough to have been able to make an offer. You marry her, not her family. Perhaps you could minimise the contact with her family?"

"That wouldn't be fair, they are after all her family, and I would expect her to love them no matter how they expose themselves. Although certainly, she is not unaffected by their behaviour. She blushes constantly because of it. Besides, I overheard the mother talking and apparently the cousin was going to make her an offer. Therefore she was taken as far as I was concerned. I didn't sleep that night though as I was trying to reconcile all the contradictions I had in my mind."

"And what was your success?"

"None at all, for no sooner did I tell myself I would never think of her again then I thought of her with more affection than ever! I would remind myself she was likely to be about to get married and then the next moment want to rush over there and make her an offer. I'm not sure how much was my emotions and how much was a desire to save her from that odious parson.

"The more I try to put her out of my mind, the more I wish she were by my side. I declare that there is no other woman in the world for me. She is the exception to the rule. She's witty, well read and certainly fulfils my idea of an accomplished lady. I'm sure that what she doesn't know she will gladly learn. She's perfect, but I fear that she'll have accepted the person's marriage proposal now and beyond my reach even if I were to change my mind and go back."

"Darcy, I'm astonished to hear you say such things about a woman! Your arguments about the family, although not without merit, are weak. You are not a member of the peerage, despite the fact that our grandfather was an earl. As long as she is a gentleman's daughter or higher she is eligible to become your wife. Regarding fortune, you do not have to worry about that as much as I do! Even I do not understand how broad your investments are, you have increased the amount you are worth, so why torture yourself by putting money before your heart? Connections? You barely bother with London society as it is - why bother if they accept this young woman or not? You have enough influence that you'll both be courted for your wealth anyway. Georgiana will always be accepted for my family's sake. Remember she has the Darcy influence and my father's influence behind her. It would take a lot for her to be ostracised. However, if she is indeed engaged or likely engaged, then you had better stay away from her, as you would probably bring censure and disgrace to both of you."

"I shall indeed. By the way, Fitzwilliam, would you please go with me to visit Aunt Catherine the end of March? I promised I would visit her at Easter."

"Indeed I shall, Darcy. However, how shall you explain to our aunt that you are not going to marry Anne?"

"I have already stated it to her several times, but she doesn't listen. Every time I hear the same question, 'when will you make good on the arranged engagement and unite the two estates?' I am so bored with this question!"

"I sympathise with you Darcy, but must admit I am happy to hear you say so." Fitzwilliam's face broke into a broad smile.

"How so Fitzwilliam?" Darcy looked suspiciously at Fitzwilliam.

"Well, our aunt is rather overbearing."

True! However, that is not what would make you glad. Why are you so keen on knowing that I am not going to marry Anne? "

"Indeed she is. Oh, and another reason I left Hertfordshire when I did was that Bingley was interested in another young lady for whom there were similar objections as in my case. I know they don't hold the same weight for him, but I didn't detect any peculiar regard on the lady's side. It seemed to me that she would accept only because of mercenary reasons. I am pleased that Bingley listened to me when I told him that the young lady had no feelings for him at all."

"Are you sure that was the best course of action? Are you sure you were correct that she didn't have any feelings for him? How is he coping?"

"Yes, Fitzwilliam, I was correct," answered Darcy, surprised at the question. "The lady was totally unsuitable, and expectations were arising that would have ruined him. It had to be done. He doesn't say anything about how he is feeling, so I can't tell how he is getting on. Really, the only thing I am sure of is Bingley maintains the same social behaviour he always has."

At this, they decided to go and join the group.

The evening was spent happily. They played bullet pudding, several times they had to reset the pudding as Georgiana, Mr. Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam unsuccessfully tried to get the bullet when it fell on their portion of the 'pudding'. The real surprise of the evening though was that the fourth time it fell, it fell towards Darcy. Laughing, Darcy dived in with his face to sift the flour and find the bullet. For a minute Georgiana feared that he was laughing so hard that he would inhale the flour and choke. This, however, was not the case, and soon Darcy came up with a face covered in flour and a bullet between his teeth. Next, they played charades, and after that, the two ladies honoured everyone with recitals for the rest of the evening. The party sat down to cards and after that, the night ended as each of the young people had other things to attend to. Darcy was happy, for he had made a chance to talk about Miss Elizabeth with his cousin and gotten advice that he would have given had it been a friend of his who was in the situation and not himself.

A few days later Miss Bingley rushed over to Darcy in a panic. "Mr. Darcy, I have just read this letter from Miss Bennet. Apparently, Miss Bennet is staying with her aunt and uncle in Gracechurch Street. Charles, of course, would want to visit her if he knew. What should I do Mr. Darcy?"

"Simply make her letters disappear and ensure that Bingley gets no hint that she is in town."

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Darcy, I shall instruct the servants to burn her letters immediately they arrive. Without any of us even reading them."

"I shall leave it in your hands," said Darcy, then as an afterthought he asked, "Does he still talk about her or show any inclination towards her?"

"Sometimes, but nothing really to speak of," replied Miss Bingley, and then she left.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **14th March 1812: Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification - John Donne**

 _T_ he winter passed slowly for Darcy. Estate business took most of his time in the mornings and then it was the season in London, so there were endless dinner parties and balls to attend in the evenings. None of these parties and balls had the same lustre of the Hertfordshire gatherings, and soon Darcy found himself dreading the arrival of another invitation. Mr. Bingley missed Hertfordshire for the first half of the winter and would bring it up incessantly. This, although by no means a disagreeable a topic to Darcy, gave Darcy many a cause for alarm that Mr. Bingley would not forget Miss Bennet, and might still be induced to make an offer to her. However, by the latter part of the winter and the early spring, Mr. Bingley was making plans to visit the North. Bingley showed little inclination to go back to Netherfield, or if he did, then his sisters would complain and ask him either to remain in Town or to go with them to the North for a bit. Darcy was anxious to make a trip to Pemberley but found that business in town kept him there longer than he had planned, so the middle of March arrived, and he met his cousin the Colonel at his townhouse and made the trip to Hunsford. However, Hunsford was to be a greater trial to Darcy's resolve, much to his surprise.

It was the day of their journey to Hunsford, and Darcy was anxious. He recollected that Elizabeth would have had an offer from her cousin, the odious Mr. Collins. If she had accepted Mr. Collins, then it would be the end of all Darcy's hopes and dreams. He had missed Miss Elizabeth's wit and light pleasing figure. Although he still didn't realise, nor would he admit, how much. Lady Catherine had written to him to tell him that the clergyman had returned married to a sweet, gentle woman. Darcy hoped that Mr. Collins had not married Miss Elizabeth. However, he didn't know any more and had to admit that Miss Elizabeth choice of Mr. Collins would have been a prudential match. It was now nervously that Darcy told the Colonel nearly everything that had passed in Hertfordshire, the only concealment Darcy made was that the lady that Darcy had separated Mr. Bingley from was, in fact, Elizabeth's older sister. Darcy did not expect to see any other acquaintance from Hertfordshire than Mr Collins and his new wife.

Darcy nervously stepped from the carriage and entered Rosings Park, where his aunt and cousin were waiting to greet him. Approximately five minutes passed before Mr. Collins entered the drawing room to greet the new arrivals. During that brief introduction, Mr. Darcy found out that Mr. Collins had in fact married Charlotte Lucas, Elizabeth's best friend and that his cousin Elizabeth was now staying at the parsonage with her cousin and friend. "Mr. Collins, please allow me and the colonel to come and renew our acquaintance. We will walk to the parsonage say in half an hour?" Colonel Fitzwilliam proposed a change in the time.

"Why wait? Let's walk over there with you now. I need to stretch my legs anyway" _I'm going to kill you Fitzwilliam!_ This slight alteration was not as satisfactory to Lady Catherine as it was to Darcy. However, the three gentlemen agreed to it with such haste that Anne had no time to express her disappointment at them wanting to be out of the house as soon as they had arrived. Indeed, when with Lady Catherine and Darcy Anne rarely said anything. However, she would often be more forthcoming in the privacy of an afternoon's tête-à-tête with either of her cousins.

The three men made their way back to the parsonage, where Darcy, so relieved that Elizabeth was neither engaged nor married, sat and listened to the conversation more than he spoke. He was happy to see his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam easily make Elizabeth's acquaintance. Darcy soon realised that his silence was rude and turning to Elizabeth he asked, "Miss Elizabeth, may I enquire after the health of your family?"

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy, they are all in good health." She then paused and asked him "My eldest sister has been in town these three months, have you never happened to see her there?"

 _Bloody hell. Why am I to be tortured with hearing about your sister?_ "Unfortunately no, I have not had the pleasure of seeing your sister."" He felt a pang of guilt and felt unable to proceed with the topic and was at a loss of what else to discuss. Fortunately Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was much fatigued from the journey, recalled that they had been away from the house far longer than they should have been, and so they made their excuses and quitted the parsonage.

"Darcy, you sly thing, you didn't tell me half of what was happening at Hertfordshire!"

 _What the hell are you talking about?_ "I told you what I needed you to know."

"Well, it's no wonder you fell in love with Miss Elizabeth. She's delightful! Something in Fitzwilliam's tone as he said this that made Darcy uncomfortable and slightly suspicious.

"Watch out Fitzwilliam, she has no fortune, and I've told you what the family is like."

"Yes you did, and no I'm entirely safe from Miss Elizabeth I assure you! However acting as you did will never attract her either."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you had that grave austere face on you and hardly spoke to anyone – including Elizabeth. Tell me did you do that in Hertfordshire also?"

"I've said before that I didn't want to attract her. I love her, but I won't do anything about it. I cannot vouch for my manners in Hertfordshire. I was the same as I always am."

"Uh Oh! You were your usual charming self? You'll have a lot of work to do if you want her to fall in love with you! I know you better than anyone else. You would best start showing her your good heart. I know that you will do something about your feelings, I can see you struggling now."

"She's not the one for me" said Darcy, so firmly that he surprised his cousin with his adamance, and himself with his prevarication.

"Yes she is Darcy, life is not always a pretty picture of the perfect you know, oh and she won't disgrace you one jot."

"No, but the family would" They continued in like vein until they reached Rosings. Where they said no more on the subject, but each contemplated the situation. As usual Lady Catherine's favourite topic was speculating on when Darcy and Anne would get married, which left the two men to their thoughts. This opportunity Darcy took, and very soon he was lost in his own world. Wondering if it would be so terrible if he did ask Elizabeth to marry him, and daydreaming of this possibility, but just as he smiled at the thought of Elizabeth being mistress of Pemberley, his aunt brought him back with a start. "That idea seemed to attract you, Darcy, shall I arrange for you to marry your cousin by the end of the year."

"No thank you, Aunt, I will not be marrying Anne as you know."

"You smiled when I suggested the idea."

 _Oh God! Keep your daydreaming about Miss Elizabeth away from Aunt Catherine! She'll push you into marrying Anne if you don't!_ "I'm sorry Aunt, an idea just occurred to me to buy Georgiana a new pianoforte" Darcy hastily lied.

"What a good idea, should I commission it upon our return to London?" Asked the Colonel.

"No, I shall do it myself when we return." The conversation continued, but Darcy was so distracted that he didn't hear a word of what was said, the afternoon turned into dinner, dinner turned into evening. Darcy made his excuses and went to bed early that night. However, once more sleep would not come. He tossed and turned, he was tired from the journey, he was mulling over the events of the morning visit, and then he was going over Fitzwilliam's comments when they left the parsonage. He got up to write in his journal, working through what he considered to be his dilemma.

Could it really be possible for him to marry the woman of his dreams? He had missed her so much and had not wanted to leave the parsonage when they had, yet decorum stated that they should. Elizabeth was in his mind and his dreams morning noon and night. The more he struggled against falling in love with her the more in love he was. She was beautiful, and he was hopelessly in love with her.

The next morning as he was out for his morning walk he met Elizabeth walking his favourite walk in the park of Rosings which was fortunate for Darcy as it meant that he could be sure of meeting the woman he loved in the walk that he loved. She shared his passions. Why, oh why, did he have to find out that she liked the same things he did. He felt himself in torment. Every day he loved her more, and nearly every day he met her in the park. Some mornings he would walk another way, in the hopes that he might avoid her, and yet every morning his footsteps eventually bent their way to his favourite walk again.

However, except for the accidental meetings in the park, Darcy did not see Miss Elizabeth anymore until Church on Good Friday. That in itself proved an ordeal, for though Elizabeth correctly was seated with her Cousins wife, she was in fact seated directly opposite to Lady Catherine's pew, which meant the Elizabeth was direct across from him, and consequently he didn't hear a word of her cousin's long sermon. This in itself was no hardship for he was totally engrossed with the spectacle opposite him, and thanking God that Miss Elizabeth had not married the parson. It suddenly occurred to him that there should be an invitation to the parsonage for the clergyman and his family to dine at Rosings that evening. Darcy scribbled a quick note to his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was seated next to his Aunt, and the Colonel whispered such to Lady Catherine. Lady Catherine was not unwilling to make such an invitation, and so it transpired that upon their leaving the Church Lady Catherine invited the Collins' for that evening, and the invitation was accepted.

When the Collins' party arrived that night, it was his turn to be embarrassed by his relations. His Aunt as usual spoke of little else than the joining of the Rosings and Pemberley estates by the marriage of himself and Anne, hardly bothering to take a breath or to wonder if anyone attended to what she was saying. However, Miss Elizabeth and Colonel Fitzwilliam were talking with ease and rapidity after dinner, that they eventually drew the notice of both Darcy and Lady Catherine.

Darcy by now used to the feeling of jealousy that arose in his breast when Elizabeth was speaking with someone else, wanted to be a part of their conversation, but it was not until Elizabeth sat at the pianoforte that chance was afforded to him. Lady Catherine, as usual, wanted to know what they were talking about, and the matter being that of music, Elizabeth was invited to play for the present company. Lady Catherine hardly listened to Elizabeth's playing, but she insisted on offering her use of the pianoforte in the servant's room, and then once more carried on trying to talk about Anne's charms. Though Darcy was not in the habit of blushing for his relatives, he felt the full force of the insult that Elizabeth had received, and almost felt as if he had been insulted.

To offer the use of the servants quarters to a gentlewoman, it bordered on the indecent! Surely Miss Elizabeth would not take his aunt up on her insulting offer?! He enjoyed listening to Elizabeth, and he knew that though she could improve herself, somewhat she had mastered the instrument tolerably well enough that the average listener would not notice her deficiencies. Lady Catherine he felt had behaved terribly, although he stored up in his mind her suggestion of giving Elizabeth the luxury of a London master. Darcy left the family circle as soon as the Collins' left, saying that he was fatigued.

Once he got up to his room he lay upon the coverlet and was soon reviewing the evening. To remind himself of why he left Hertfordshire, he considered the ball at Netherfield. That night Mrs Bennet had been so vulgar, and the youngest two girls flirted outrageously with the officers. However the longer he reviewed the ball at Netherfield his mind morphed Mrs Bennet into Lady Catherine. Momentarily this gave him concern, for though Lady Catherine might have her faults – her connections were good, and this brought the realisation to Darcy, that no matter how well Miss Elizabeth bore herself, her family must always bring her down. The excuse about her family and connections was becoming thinner the more he considered things.

The next day he called on Elizabeth at the parsonage, hoping that he would not be on his own with her, but it turned out that Mrs Collins and her sister had gone into the business and so she had been writing a letter to her sister. His visit did not last long. Nearly every day for a fortnight Darcy would meet Elizabeth in the park, and then visit the parsonage later in the day. Upon examining his behaviour, Darcy could not explain it better than that he wanted to be in Elizabeth's company. He missed her when she was not around. He wanted to be in her company, and the last full day he was at Rosings, he had planned to be no different, but Colonel Fitzwilliam was doing his tour of the park, and he knew he would see Elizabeth that night at Rosings. So he allowed business to tie him up during the day. However, Elizabeth did not appear with the Collins's as she had a headache. Worried that she was ok, Darcy left Rosings after dinner, to call on the parsonage.

Calling on the Parsonage Elizabeth informed him that she was much better. Yesterday he had woken up with a few sniffles and a slight sore throat that had disappeared a few minutes after getting up. Not typically sick Darcy had shrugged it off and carried on. Now as he stood in the parsonage drawing room, he felt agitated and was flushing hot and then cold. What was wrong with him? _You're only nervous man, get a hold of yourself!_ Before he knew or considered what he was doing, he was offering his hand in marriage to Elizabeth. Not having planned this moment ahead of time, his tongue ran away with him and everything tumbled out of him before he could stop it. How much he loved her, what had prevented him making his offer sooner and how much he now desired that she would accept his hand. If Darcy had expected her to be waiting for his addresses and even wanting them, he certainly did not expect her response.

She looked angry and upset rather than flattered and pleased. She accused him of treating Wickham badly; she accused him of separating her sister and Mr Bingley. She berated him for his lack of sensibility and berated him for insulting her while proposing to her. All the while she flatly refused his offer. Darcy couldn't understand it. He had thought she felt the same way. Darcy had thought she knew that he was in love with her. He thought that he had shown it on his face. Here she was telling him that he was not behaving in a gentlemanlike manner. This was all more than his mind could take. At first, it showed as anger and irritation, but very quickly it moved into a headache – did he blame Miss Elizabeth? No. He knew that the blame laid elsewhere. She was above reproach in his eyes. Even though she was talking out of assumptions apparently based on half-truths. What had she heard? Why did she bring Wickham into this? Everything swam in front of his eyes momentarily and then knowing that there was nothing more to be said, Darcy Left.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **9** **th** **April 1812: When a thing is said to be not worth refuting you may be sure that either it is flagrantly stupid - in which case all comment is superfluous - or it is something formidable, the very crux of the problem. Percy Bysshe Shelley.**

 _M_ r. Darcy quit the parsonage, greatly confused. Could this be a nightmare? Had she really just told him in no uncertain terms that she would not accept him under any circumstance? Was she insane? What sort of woman refuses the hand of a man with as much to recommend him as Darcy? How could she prefer Wickham to him? What lies had Wickham told her that she would think him so bad? What had he done that she would lay such heavy accusations upon him? _**"Your arrogance, your conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others"1**_ – wasn't that what she said? Where had that come from? She seemed angry; how could she be angry when a man of such high consequence offered her his hand? Did she not know what good fortune that was for her? What had he done that occasioned such anger? How had she heard that it was he who had separated her sister Jane and his friend Charles Bingley? The questions in his mind were endless; none were within his power to answer. Or were they?

Darcy was about to return to Rosings when he recollected that his aunt would be there and wanting to know where he had been and what he had been doing. He was aware that he neither wanted her interference nor did he want anyone to know about the refusal. He turned and wandered the park for a while. Elizabeth was unlikely to tell anyone; she seemed so shocked and angry that she would not mention anything.

He turned and walked into the park, and wandered far and wide as his mind went over that which Elizabeth had said to him. _**'In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you'.2**_

 _How could she not feel gratitude? Was she that ungrateful? No, she was not insensible to what I had offered, it was something else._

Wickham! She had mentioned him during her response. What was it she had said about him? _**'Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received many months ago from Mr. Wickham. On this subject what can you say?'3**_ _A lot! That profligate has been ingratiating himself with her. What were his intentions there? With Georgiana, he wanted her fortune, but Elizabeth has no fortune. Could it be he had fallen in love with her? No, that man loves nothing and no-one but himself. It has to be something else._

At this moment his head swam again. He slumped to the base of a tree to rest, and tried to clear his thoughts, but nothing came together coherently. He knew that he was trying to work out something that was on the edge of his mind. Something to do with Elizabeth and Wickham

 _Could it be that he was planning to ruin her? There's no way he would marry her, that is certain. Well, she must learn the truth there. There's nothing else for it, and I must take the risk and tell her of Georgiana's misfortune with that man. I hope I don't ruin her, but it cannot be helped. Elizabeth must know the truth, the whole truth._

Another idea hit him. _Elizabeth was only just forming an acquaintance with Mr. Wickham that day in Meryton. Is it possible that Wickham had seen jealousy in my face? He does, after all, know me better than anyone else. Could I have given my feelings away in front of him? Did I show all of my emotions there? I was jealous of the fat clergyman who insisted on standing so close to Elizabeth but had Wickham seen it when I saw him? Wasn't it at the Netherfield ball that she had said,_ _ **'that he had been unlucky enough to lose your friendship in a way that he was likely to suffer from for the rest of his life?'4**_

 _Could others at Meryton and the surrounding villages have formed the same expectation of Elizabeth and me as with Jane and Bingley? Could Wickham have heard the rumour? No, she seemed genuinely surprised when I vowed my love. If she didn't know, then surely no one else did. Mind, Wickham always had a knack for finding out what lady I liked, right from when we were children, so maybe it doesn't matter though. She must be informed._

He shook his head, trying to clear his head of the painful memories. He stood up intending to carry on his walk, but again he felt for a few minutes as if he had no strength, and momentarily leaned against a tree for support. He tried to invent business that would necessitate his return to town. However, he again thought of his disappointment, _**'I might as well inquire why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me you liked me against your will, against your reason and even against your character? Was this not some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil? But I have other provocations. You know I have. Had not my own feelings decided against you had they even been favourable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?'5**_ _How had she found out about that?_ _**"I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you acted there. You dare not, you cannot deny that you have been the principal, if not the only means of dividing them from each other. Of exposing one to the censure of the world for caprice and instability, the other to its derision for disappointed hopes, and involving them both in the misery of the acutest kind**_ '6 H _ave you not now done that to me by refusing me? Oh Elizabeth, you know not how much you have wounded me and made me suffer. Darcy could not remember exactly what his reply had been, but he remembered admitting that he had separated them._

Again his mind refused to focus. Never in his life had his mind been so affected, that he could not form rational thought. Those years after Jeremy's death when he had not spoken a single word, he had still retained his rational abilities, the same after the death of each of parents. Yet this slip of a girl had rendered him unable to think clearly. I hovered in the back of his mind that perhaps he was getting sick, but he shrugged that off. He didn't get sick. Now devoid of rational thought for a while, his already tortured mind stated bring back the memories of Hertfordshire.

He remembered how many times Miss Bingley had laughed at their low connections, _You have every reason to think ill of me? What have I done that she should say such a thing? Oh God! Does she think I was complicit with Miss Bingley's every snide and hurtful raillery? When I went into Hertfordshire everyone was unfashionable, and there really was none that had any beauty, yet Elizabeth caught my attention. She laughed at what I said at the Meryton ball 'She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.' Is she trying to pay me back for that awful comment? As he remembered his words, he saw Elizabeth's face and the look in her eyes as he had said it_. Then he somehow realised that he had seen that same look in her eyes that evening, hurt and anger. _If she was hurt then, why did she laugh? I cannot understand her. I hurt her that night! I knew it! What have I done? The woman torments my every move. She tortures me._

The memories of Hertfordshire kept rising, right up to the Netherfield ball. He could not be satisfied with the memory of his behaviour. How jealous he was when Elizabeth was dancing with that clergyman cousin, and when she danced with the officers. How Elizabeth provoked him when they finally danced together. He was obliged to tell her about Wickham. She accused him of being insensitive.

Then her family's behaviour during supper! _Why did I not tell her when she so obviously wanted my side and had HIS side already? I remember such vulgarity and lack of propriety; I was right to say such things. How could such a family think that they had any claims to men such as myself or Bingley? Jane and Elizabeth, though,, kept themselves away from it all – how had it happened that they had kept themselves away from the obnoxious behaviour? How is it that they grew up to blush for their relatives and to not expose themselves? It is true Mr. Bennet had not been very improper. It had just been occasional flashes, but the mother! She really is NOT desirable as a mother in law._

 _As for the three youngest girls, they really are neither accomplished nor intelligent. The youngest especially is nothing but a common flirt – someone who will be used and cast aside by an unprincipled man – someone like Wickham! She'll disgrace the family, and ruin herself if something is not done. No, I did right to talk as I did about her family. As for removing Bingley from Jane, I had to! His family made their money in trade, and this generation is the first to be described as gentlemen and gentlewomen. They cannot afford more disgrace on their family name if they are to live in society. It might work were to be related to a family like mine through marriage, but given how unlikely that is for me, I certainly would never think of marrying Miss Bingley. I was right in what I did – besides Bingley would be miserable if his wife didn't return his affections, and Miss Bennet never showed affection. Miss Bingley was sure Jane's affections were not engaged._

A low growl escaped Darcy's throat as he realised that Miss Bingley had most likely lied to him for her own ends. Something must be done about Miss Caroline Bingley. The woman is a millstone around Bingley's neck! She not only exposes her family to ridicule, but is the active reason why Bingley was not accepted better amongst the Ton. _Miss Jane's sister would have much better information than a trifling friend of an acquaintance. Although I doubt that Miss Bingley was unaware of Miss Jane's affection for my friend. FITZWILLIAM DARCY! You total and utter FOOL!_

Suddenly his comments and behaviour started to look differently. He started to wonder if someone said those things about his relations, what he would feel or do, especially if someone removed a young gentleman from Georgiana because of something undesirable in her family. This did not change his opinions nor did he repine his mode of address, yet it did soften him towards Elizabeth's rejection, and soon he resolved that she must hear all of his reasons, his explanation, for his actions in both cases. He felt and knew that she would feel pain and hurt as she read it, but hopefully, if she understood she would think better of him. His anger toward Elizabeth slowly turned from her toward Wickham, then slowly he started to feel that there was possibly a case where he had laid the foundations himself.

Eventually, he checked his watch and found that he had been out from Rosings for four hours and that he should return. All the while the hot and cold flashes felt as if it was getting worse. Maybe he would feel better wrapped up by the fire with a glass of Scotch - no make that a decanter of Scotch! He did not desire to return. However, it was expedient. Lady Catherine would want to know where he had been, for he had said he would be gone for only 20 minutes. This recollection of Lady Catherine made him think of Elizabeth's behaviour here.

Elizabeth had managed except, maybe, for this evening to behave without reproach. She fitted so well in the drawing room at Rosings that her breeding was better than his aunt's! His mind refused to comprehend everything that had happened. The more he tried to make sense of it the more he could not. The more he thought things over the more befuddled his thoughts became, the more his head ached. By the time he returned to Rosings his head ached so that he could give only a brief apology for being away from the party so long, and then excuse himself. It took all his remaining determination and energy to write a rough draft of the letter that he would put into Elizabeth's hands tomorrow, before he retired to bed. As much as possible he wanted Elizabeth to be the only one who knew about the letter; however his head ached so badly it was impossible for him to write a neat letter. Eventually, weakness from the headache took over so much that he staggered to the bed and collapsed.

1 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

2 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.

3 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

4 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

5 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

6 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **10th April 1812: More than kisses, letters mingle souls. John Donne**

 _T_ he next morning Darcy awoke early, and although his head still ached, he was anxious to write a neat copy of his letter to Miss Elizabeth. It was long, and detailed; he told her his reasons for interfering in her sister's and his friend's affairs. He told her how Wickham nearly ruined Georgiana and how Wickham had refused the living requested him and then came begging for it when the incumbent died.

It was a painful story for Darcy to write and he knew that it would be painful for Miss Elizabeth to read. She had no idea that she was wrong in her accusations, although he couldn't help wondering how he would have reacted had it been Georgiana who was in Miss Jane's shoes, separated from a man who had captured her heart, while those around her hadn't realised it. He didn't like to think what he would do to them for breaking her heart. He began to think that Miss Elizabeth was right that Miss Jane's affections had been engaged, for though he had not seen it himself and Miss Bingley had assured him that they were not, he knew that Miss Bingley would have said anything to get her brother away from Miss Bennet. Besides, Elizabeth knew Miss Jane better than anyone else, and Darcy didn't doubt that Jane and Elizabeth were confidantes.

His head pounded, and thanked God that he had written the letter last night when his will could keep his mind straight. Now all he could do was simply copy it, word for word. More than once his head swam while he was writing and he had to pause to let his head clear. However he had set his will and wrote the letter out neatly, then made an excuse after breakfast and went out into the park.

He was going to the place which was her favourite when he changed his mind. She had met him so often there that she might try to avoid him this morning, so he made his way towards the grove near the gate. He waited in the grove. More than once was he thankful for the support that the trees provided. Only sheer willpower was keeping him going. His mind was still torturing him with the events of the last eight months, which had resulted in him acting both out of character and against what he perceived were the wishes of his family and friends. Memories floated up unbidden. Old wounds seemed to be reopening. New wounds were appearing. Time seemed to almost stand still as Darcy waited there in the Grove.

Time passed slowly as he waited, leaning on the trees in the grove, waiting, just waiting, wishing that she would come. Finally, he saw her heading up the lane. Swiftly he moved to the gate, and before she could go away he called out to her, "Miss Bennet!" She looked as if she wanted to run away, but politeness took over and she turned back towards him and waited for him to speak. Handing the letter to her he asked, "Would you do me the honour of reading this letter?"

She took the letter, and he bowed and practically ran into the park half afraid that she would hand it back to him or that there would be more words that would widen the gulf between them. Besides, it was painful for him to be so close to her and not be able to hug or kiss her. Over the last few hours and throughout the whole of the night before, he cursed himself for his lack of ease with strangers. The mocking words of Colonel Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth rang in his ears. _**"And shall we ask him why a man of sense and education should be ill at ease with strangers?"**_ she had teased, and his cousin replied, _**"I can answer that one without applying to him. It is because he won't give himself the trouble."1**_ _Could that really be true? Am I really that remiss and ill mannered? Can ease with stranger be acquired simply by forcing myself to talk to them more? Why has it not worked so far?_

He shook his head as these thoughts once more intruded. He tried to clear his head as he wanted to go to the parsonage to take his leave. He knew that Colonel Fitzwilliam would go with him, and on the walk he wanted to explain what he had done so Colonel Fitzwilliam would not think badly of Elizabeth should she apply to him to verify the information that he had written in his letter. His headache was worsening by the minute, and he was starting feel tired from his exertions.

Half an hour later he and Colonel Fitzwilliam made their way to the parsonage. "Fitzwilliam, I have to ask you to do something for me," said Darcy, "and I need to explain some things to you first."

"Sounds serious, are you sure the walk to the parsonage will be long enough?"

"No, I'm not sure. However, let me talk."

"Ok."

"When I met Miss Bennet in Hertfordshire I fell in love with her, deeply. Deeper than I ever realised. She means more to me than anything in the world. It would seem that Wickham made his entrance into Hertfordshire society last November, having joined the _ Militia. He appears to have filled Elizabeth's head with his lies about the living. I do not know what he has precisely said, but last night her accusations would suggest that it is all the same lies that he told Mrs. Younge and all the others when he has tried to sink my character."

"Bugger! I didn't know that Militia was due to be posted at the same place you were going! That bloody bastard should not have been anywhere near you! Defamation of character should be a hanging offence!" growled Colonel Fitzwilliam

"Well, I've done something that may well have been the stupidest thing in my life! I wrote a letter to explain that, and something else which she said is something that made her think ill of me. Anyway, I've told her the whole of the Wickham story and how it affects our family. However, I told her that you would verify every particular of those transactions, should she wish it.. So I am asking you now if she asks you tanything to do with Wickham please would you tell her the full truth, and be my witness?"

"Bloody hell, Darcy! You know that could ruin Georgiana?!" cried a shocked Colonel Fitzwilliam, "I thought we had all agreed not to reveal that to anyone?!"

"Yes, I am aware that it could ruin her. I have no doubt that Miss Elizabeth will keep it to herself. I want… no! I need to protect her from Wickham, and the best way to do that is full disclosure. I don't know what else to do."

"Well, if you love her as much as you say, Darcy, of course, I'll tell her everything."

"I love her as much and more. Fitzwilliam. She's truly taken over my heart and mind. Oh I need to ask you something else. Elizabeth has somehow found out about my separating her eldest sister from my friend – did you tell her what I told you on the way down about separating Bingley from an inappropriate young lady?"

"Darcy, you really are such a bloody idiot! Yes, I told her yesterday." Darcy started at this. "You could have warned me not to say anything. I didn't know who the young lady was – are you telling me that it was her eldest sister? No wonder she came down with a headache. The woman could justifiably hate both of us for that!"

"Yes," said Darcy, deflated. "It was her eldest sister. The inappropriateness was not Miss Bennet herself but rather the improper behaviour of her family, Miss Elizabeth excluded. Her mother personifies vulgarity. Sometimes her father does as well. Her father is a gentleman of property, although it's entailed away from the young ladies. Her mother has no connections at all. The aunt who lives closest to them is vulgar and married only to an attorney. Her uncle is in trade and resides in Cheapside. I know nothing about her father's connections. However, Mr. Collins, being a cousin on Mr. Bennet's side of the family, does not recommend them one bit."

"Mr. Collins is her cousin?"

"Yes, unfortunately. I've told you that before." Darcy smirked. Obviously the Colonel hadn't paid enough attention, in fact now Darcy came to think of it both his cousins had been acting strangely the whole of this visit.

"True he's no recommendation, but, Darcy, you do not marry the family, and your connections are so much better that they would not ruin you. You and your family will always be courted because of your wealth and your consequence. Besides you do not have to have the mother at Pemberley – ever! You can always make sure that if you do entertain them, it is always in town, where with the broad range of society Mrs. Bennet will become insignificant. Since you fell in love with Elizabeth, why did you separate Mr. Bingley and Miss Bennet?"

"I did it because I saw connections and consequence as being more important than matters of the heart and had little intention of going so far as to offer her my hand. I always thought that Elizabeth was beneath me for some reason, and put up every rational reason why I should not marry her. As for Bingley and Jane, well I had two more reasons. One was that I want to improve his connections with his marriage, and had hoped that by separating him and Jane that he would soon forget her and then pay his respects to a woman of fortune and good connections. Second, I was convinced that Miss Jane Bennet was indifferent to him. She was so serene when she spoke to him, and although she always showed pleasure in Bingley's company, she never showed anything that to an impartial observer would have shown that her heart was engaged."

"Oh, come now, Darcy, you are just as bad you know. You always treat everybody just the same. I don't think I've ever seen you show much emotion outwardly."

"Well, that would explain some of Elizabeth's comments," Darcy thought out loud.

"I honestly doubt she realises how you feel at all, although to be honest I know you far better, and I certainly didn't you to love her enough that you would risk everything we've done for Georgiana!"

"Tell me honestly. Does everyone really expect me to marry Anne?"

"No, I believe only our aunt wants that." Again something flickered across the Colonels face, but it was gone before Darcy could place what it was. Could it be a smugness mixed a little jealousy? Perhaps? "However, she is such an overbearing character that there was some speculation as to whether she would eventually wear you down so that you would do it."

"Never! I decided that when I was about eight years old."

"I know that, and so does the rest of the family, it's just our aunt who refuses to believe it."

"She never pays attention to anything but what she wants."

"That's true."

"Actually," said Darcy, a new idea forming in his mind, "Although Elizabeth's sister Lydia is far less principled, Aunt Catherine and Miss Lydia do have something in common – they never think of anyone or anything other than their own wants and desires." This similarity was not as painful to him as he had thought it would be. However, arriving at the parsonage, the discussion was dropped and when they were shown into the parlour, they were informed that Elizabeth was not yet returned from her walk. _I wonder if she's reading my letter. It's useless though to conjecture as to what she's doing._

"Mr. and Mrs. Collins, I came to thank you and your sister Maria for all your hospitality while we stayed with my aunt. Since we shall be leaving early in the morning, I take my leave now and hope that we shall meet again."

"Thank you Mr. Darcy. May I take this chance to wish you a pleasant journey tomorrow," answered Mrs. Collins, who was visibly trying to avoid her husband's officious way of talking. "You are welcome to visit anytime,, Mr. Darcy."

"Indeed you are sir. I must say that I am highly honoured that you have thought fit to honour my humble home with your presence during your stay. I would be highly gratified if you would honour us with your company at any time that you come down to visit your aunt," Mr. Collins began, looking like he would continue, but Darcy cut him short.

"Thank you so much. I really must leave for I have some final business that must be dealt with before I leave tomorrow." With that, Darcy stood up, bowed and quitted the parsonage. In truth other than packing his trunk he had nothing to do, but he was feeling so unwell that he could not bear to be in company, especially as in the same parlour where Miss Elizabeth rejected him the previous evening. Colonel Fitzwilliam stayed for nearly an hour waiting for Elizabeth to return. However, he, too, finally returned to Rosings without having seen her.

End of Part one.

1 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.


	17. Chapter 17

**Part 2:**

 **Chapter 18**

 **10** **th** **April 1812: Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness - Immanuel Kant.**

 _A_ s Fitzwilliam Darcy sat at dinner, he continued to think about his visit to Hertfordshire last autumn. The ball at Meryton came to mind. Elizabeth had only laughed about him dancing only four dances. He realised how much more she could have told to his detriment, and then her face rose before him. Suddenly he came over sick. He had barely risen from the table with a brief excuse when he threw up, and his knees buckled under him. As usual, Lady Catherine barely noticed anything other than what she chose to The servants cleaned up the mess and helped him to his room, after that he went straight to bed.

It had been a day since Miss Elizabeth Bennet had rejected his suit.

Darcy had not thought about anything else, despite managing to show his usual demeanour to the world (or what he thought he had anyway). Tomorrow he would be leaving Rosings Park and would endeavour to put her and it out of his mind, but tonight he needed to sleep. He hoped he would be better in the morning.

Once Dinner was over, and the ladies had withdrawn Colonel Fitzwilliam ran straight up to Darcy's room and seeing him asleep woke him up. Groggily Fitzwilliam Darcy muttered Elizabeth Bennet's name and then regained control of himself. "Darcy, what is going on? You were distracted at dinner, and then you went so pale and were practically running out of the room before you threw up and collapsed. I know it's not leaving Rosings that's giving you so much trouble. Aunt Catherine is taking it as a personal triumph. She thinks that she'll be keeping you here for longer."

"Like hell, she will! We depart for London tomorrow, no matter what! Promise me Fitzwilliam!"

The Colonel promised and wanted to continue about Darcy's proposal, and Elizabeth Bennet being ill. He wished to ask about Darcy's staggering up to bed early yesterday saying that he was 'indisposed'. However, he didn't want to force a confidence from Darcy if he was not inclined to trust him. Groaning Darcy turned away from the Colonel, but knew that he needed to talk to someone about this – but he was not yet ready to talk. Instead, he contented himself by saying that he had probably eaten something that didn't agree with him. "Come now Darcy, that won't do for an excuse you are never ill. You deal with all your business and travel so much and are never indisposed or sick. Something is going on, and Miss Bennet has something to do with it." Darcy looked so miserably ill that the Colonel feared lest their departure for Town was to be delayed once again, so wisely chose not to push the issue any further. However, he need not have feared. Turning back to the Colonel, Fitzwilliam Darcy merely said: "I'll try and explain tomorrow on the road." Darcy then went back to sleep, a fitful sleep in which he dreamed of the future that once more seemed to be impossible.

In the morning Fitzwilliam Darcy was up early, and as the plan had been to leave early, before breakfast there had been an early cold breakfast laid out by the servants for himself and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Lady Catherine walked into the breakfast parlour while they were eating, although Fitzwilliam Darcy ate very little his stomach still not feeling comfortable, started to talk "Darcy, I'm glad to see that you are looking better this morning although you should stay a little longer, after last night." She started and then continued to talk so much that Fitzwilliam Darcy had to say nothing, and the Colonel when given a chance emphasised that both he and Fitzwilliam Darcy had business in town that could not be delayed any longer. Eventually, Lady Catherine had nothing more to say and the Colonel, and Fitzwilliam Darcy made their way to Darcy's carriage. As the carriage made its way out of Rosings and passed the lodges, the Colonel noticed Mr Collins bowing to their carriage. Darcy too heartbroken to make conversation, and feeling worse by the minute closed his eyes and leant back into the squabs. He saw nothing, and as the carriage moved along the way the awaited explanation did not come, instead of the further along the road they went the worse that Darcy looked.

Suddenly the silence was broken, and in a slow and broken way, Darcy started the long awaited explanation. He began with the Ball in Meryton, but could not get any further because Elizabeth Bennet's face rose up in his mind again. Those eyes. He had thought that she was laughing at him then, and he knew that she was laughing at the ridiculousness of what he said, and yet there was something else in her eyes as well. Something he had seen again only two days ago when had made his declaration. He again felt queasy and could not speak. He did not regret what he had said, nor was he regretting having made the declaration. He still could not understand she had refused. He had written the letter, and he now hoped that she was thinking better of him, but that was no comfort to him in his present distress.

Trying to engage Darcy on other things Colonel Fitzwilliam mentioned that Miss Darcy would be awaiting their arrival. Darcy smiled and then recollected that Elizabeth's youngest sister was only one year younger than his sister Georgiana. This opened up other unpleasant recollections as well as pleasant ones, and once again Darcy found that he could not keep up any conversation, as his head started pounding again and the hot and cold flushing became more and more pronounced. As the carriage rattled on Colonel Fitzwilliam gave up any conversation, although he was convinced that there was more going on between his cousin and Elizabeth Bennet than had been admitted so far. He could not take the chance of pressing his cousin for information.

The Carriage rolled up to Darcy's house in the middle of the afternoon, as promised, and Georgiana was waiting on the front step to welcome them home. Instead of the carriage door opening promptly and her brother Darcy rushing to greet her as he usually did, Colonel Fitzwilliam got out and called to the servant to help him. Darcy had during the journey gotten worse, not better and was now in suffered such weakness that he had not the strength to even get out of the carriage. The Servants carried him up to his room, and his valet assisted him into bed while Colonel Fitzwilliam informed Miss Darcy of what little he knew, and Miss Darcy told the Colonel what little she had gleaned from her brother's letters to her. Georgiana ran up to her brother's room as soon as she was able to, and there she sat. As Darcy tossed uneasily under the bed clothes, she was concerned about him, and eventually, she and Colonel Fitzwilliam agreed that an apothecary should be called. When the apothecary arrived, he told them that Darcy had nothing more than a severe cold, compounded by a severe grief of mind.

Days passed, and Darcy showed no sign of improvement, and Georgiana barely left his side, nor was Colonel Fitzwilliam often absent from the house, often taking a turn to sit with Darcy when Georgiana had to go and practise her harp or the Piano-forte. Days turned into weeks, and so often in his delirium, Darcy said the names of Elizabeth Bennet, Mr Bingley and Jane Bennet that the suspicions of Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy that something had happened between Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy were confirmed, but yet they still did not know what had happened. Both Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam wished to know the answers, but until Darcy recovered they would not know for certain what had happened.

Towards the end of May Darcy started to mend slowly, and then on the last day of may, Darcy managed to inform the Colonel and his sister of the events of the previous Autumn, and then what had happened at Easter, at the parsonage that fateful night two days before he had gotten so ill. He did this one afternoon taking both his sister and the Colonel by surprise; Darcy was not often so open and forthcoming with anyone, that at first, neither of them knew how to answer him. Darcy though was not looking for any answers and was soon lost in his thoughts again, and the Colonel and Georgiana Darcy thought it advisable to leave him to his reflections.

Through the days of June and July Darcy improved so much and dealt with all his business in London, that the beginning of August it was decided that he would go up to Pemberley and have Mr Bingley, Mr and Mrs Hurst, and Miss Bingley as guests as well as Georgiana going up with him. This would affect two things – one he would distance himself from Miss Elizabeth Bennet and have his mind engaged on his estate and business. Secondly, he would be away from any reminders of the past autumn, winter and spring. And so the months passed peacefully away.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 19**

 **5** **th** **August 1812: The happiness of life is made of minute fractions - the little, soon forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment. Samuel Taylor Coleridge.**

Two days before they were due to depart for Pemberley, an express arrived saying that there was an urgent matter that needed resolving on the estate that Darcy's Steward could not solve; therefore could Darcy please return to Pemberley as soon as possible. Darcy informed everyone that he would ride ahead of them the next day and they could follow him the day after as planned.

The two-day carriage ride to Pemberley was tedious, but Fitzwilliam Darcy was always prompt and efficient with dealing with business, and this was no exception – or at least it was not planned to be any exception. However as Fitzwilliam Darcy rounded the house after stepping out of his carriage, his heart started beating wildly. Either my imagination has run wild or She's here! Yes She's here, in the flesh! He thought, why? Does this mean…? Could it be? Is there, is there hope for me? for us? Oh Elizabeth, Elizabeth how I longed for you these last months, this last year. Please say you'll be mine, Say there's hope for us yet. Oh please tell me that you think better of me. I cannot live without you! He knew he blushed, and had a vague idea that Elizabeth Bennet had also blushed when their eyes had met as he stepped around the house, Darcy moved forward and asked about her family. He could not gather his thoughts. All he could think of to ask, was the one question that for now, at least, must wait. So he continued to ask other confused questions so many times that it became evident his mind was engaged in far different quarters. Oh that right now I was introducing you as my wife. Oh that you had nursed me as you nursed your sister. I wish that I could take you in my arms right now.

Bother! Yet again I am not aquitting myself properly! How does she always bring out the worst in me. Darcy took his leave and entered the house. "Mrs Reynolds those guests touring our estate, I MUST see them before they leave, make sure that they're stll here when I am return."

"Yes Sir" Mrs Reynolds answered calmly, with a sly smile on her face. Once Darcy was out of her hearing she muttered "So the young master has found his mate."

Once Darcy had changed he came down and asked where the guests were. He was informed that they were on the Lake walk, the walk that would show Elizabeth Bennet the best of the woods without fatiguing the average walker. Darcy rushed out of the house and with Elizabeth's words of last Easter ringing in his ears 'Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner'1.

Right I need to show her that I've improve my manners, and that I'm not the arrogant conceited bastard she thought me. You Darcy can right the wrongs that you've done. Right now you just need to keep her in your circle of acquaintances. Darcy had by now become comfortable with the idea that he would do everything in his power to win Miss Elizabeth's affection; everything honourable that is. He set out to meet her.

The route had so many curves that he couldn't see very far ahead and was anxious since he didn't know how the speed that her party walked at. Soon enough though he saw them ahead. Now Darcy keep yourself under control and be polite! You've been rude enough to and about those she cares for! Soon he would once again talk to Elizabeth Bennet again and walk with her like he did at Rosings.

Meeting her again was bittersweet. The pain of her rejection combined with his happiness at just being admitted to her society once more. Taking a deep breath Darcy approached Miss Elizabeth's party. THey spent a moment or two on the usual civilities, and then he saw her smile as he asked to be introduced to her companions. Surprise is the least of what Darcy felt as Elizabeth Bennet turned "Mr and Mrs Gardiner, Mr Darcy" Darcy could have he saw mischievous glint in Miss Elizabeth's eye as she added, "Mr and Mrs Gardiner are my Aunt and Uncle from Cheapside." So you still think that I hold the prejudices of Miss Viper! Well two can play your game, and I am NOT going to give in an revert to being rude to those around me.

"Delighted to meet you Madam, and Sir" Said Darcy, inside he felt the justice of Elizabeth's words last Easter more keenly that he had done so at any other time. Could I have judged any worse this past year? To even consider judging people wanting before meeting them! How utterly ridiculous I have been. How ironic the Gardiner family actually could be categorised as being an older version of the Bingley's. THe women are ignorant and puffed up, while the man was a friendly open gentleman who could pass amongst the very best of the Ton. Bingley is proof that siblings can be as different as night and day, how did I get to where I thought myself to b so superior? How is it that in families of trade the Brother gets all the gentlemanly manners and the women come out being bad mannered shrews? Could it be that having occupation combined with a good income was good for the gentlemen? Perhaps the ladies needed that tempering influence also. No wonder the eldest two Bennet girls are so different from the rest of their family, they must have spent a lot time with this couple, when they were young. Apart from making an invitation to Mr Gardiner to come fish in the lake of Pemberley, Darcy could not have said as to what the conversation. His eyes were too busy watching Miss Elizabeth's back as she walked with Her aunt. Oh Elizabeth, how well you look. Mr Gardiner recognised the telltale signs of a distracted man in love and wisely refrained from discussing anything of any consequence, preferring instead to watch Darcy's very visceral reactions and unconscious mirroring of his nieces posture and mannerisms. Darcy wasn't aware that he had become an object of observation as he silently chided himself for being so susceptible to Miss Elizabeth.

It soon became apparent that Mrs Gardiner had not the same stamina for walking that her niece had. Barely more than 200 yards had been covered by the group before Mrs Gardiner sought the arm of her husband. It was quite clear that she quite fatigued at the exercise of the morning, however before Darcy and Elizabeth picked up their pace, Darcy could have sworn he heard Mr Gardiner whisper to his wife "Well done, Love. It's our Lizzy he really wants to be walking with." He didn't mind hearing that, in fact he was grateful because that freed Darcy from feeling guilty at being so pleased at the change in walking partners.

Darcy was tempted to offer his arm to Miss Elizabeth, however he was not sure as how she would receive such a gesture, so instead he allowed Miss Elizabeth to set the pace they walked at. Ok Elizabeth, it's truth time, what do you think of my home. "Miss Elizabeth, dare I ask what you think of Pemberley, does it please you?"

The pleasure written on her face made Darcy's heart constrict Oh that I might kiss you right now! It obvious that my home has conquered your heart. Oh that it's owner had conquered your heart so easily, as you conquered his. You belong here as the Mistress, as my wife. Oh why can't you see that this is where you were born to be? You are my destiny, and I'm yours. I know that I behaved abominably, I wish, I hope that you will forgive me, and that there is hope for us. Perhaps a more thorough tour should be given to you. One that ends in the Master and Mistresses suite.

Miss Elizabeth had started to praise Pemberley calling it charming and beautiful and had hardly gotten much further when she seemed to think better of it coloured and went silent, this Darcy found absolutely charming, after all that had already happened she still fears me thinking bad of her. Oh Elizabeth I could no more think ill of you, than I could Georgiana. She then started to apologise saying they understood that the whole family was from home or they would not have intruded on his privacy. Darcy then tried to put her at ease and then asked to be able to introduce his sister to her. Please intrude on my privacy as much as you like, do you still not know that I would still have you here as my wife? Oh that you would give me the greatest wish of my heart. My heart won't give you up. It had become clear that the Elizabeth had needed to stretch her legs after travelling in carriages, their pace had picked up considerably, resulting in quite gap between themselves Gardiners.

When Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet arrived back at the Gardiners carriage they had to await the Gardiners. Please come in. I want so much to introduce you to Pemberley properly. Oh that I could ask you and your relations to stay here. Perhaps I should. WOuld you actually accept though? WOuld that put too much pressure on you? Please. I'd beg on my knees if it would gain me my hearts desire. He then offered Elizabeth Bennet to come in for refreshment but she was not tired so they stayed outside and waited for the Gardiners to arrive back at the carriage. Their conversation has turned to travelling and mundane subjects, and somehow after the initial moments awkwardness it seemed to Darcy, that the conversation was much easier than it had proved to be in the past.

There was so much he felt, so much he wanted to say, and to ask, yet somehow he waited for a sign from her that she would be happy to talk about when they parted last. However they continued to discuss the mundane. So he just followed Miss Eliabeth's lead. Eventually the Gardiners joined them at the carriage. Once more refreshments were offered and turned down, due partly to Mrs Gardiner's fatigue and partly due to their still needing to settle into the inn at Lambton.

Darcy had to content himself with handing the ladies into the carriage, for he found that he really didn't want to let Miss Elizabeth go, and wondered whether or not they would accept an invitation to stay at Pemberley. As much as his heart had started to hope, and Miss Elizabeth had not told him to stay away from her, his courage failed him. Also he did not trust himself should his greatest temptation be staying in his home. So instead he watched the carriage go with regret. If only. If only I had more courage. If only I had behaved better before. If only she had accepted my hand. If only we were already married.

The rest of the day was spent in dealing with his estate business. Darcy soon found that much had built up during his illness. According to his steward if he had been well, the current situation between two of his tenants could have been sorted out quickly. However Darcy would have to ride over to settle the dispute tomorrow before breakfast. It appeared that he would not have much time to spend with his guests for the rest of the week. He knew he couldn't neglect them entirely, and postponing the Bingley's visit was not an option either. For the first time since taking over from his Father his estate business would come second.

Miss Elizabeth is in Derbyshire, and she must see Darcy at his best! Darcy shook his head, what was happening to him? To be considering behaving so far out of character. The next morning was spent in dealing with his estate business. In the morning he rode out to deal with the tenant dispute, which did not put Darcy in such a good mood. Neither side was willing to be reasonable or come to a quick solution. BOth wanted the lion's share of the land. Darcy found the old boundary markers, and realised that the major issue was that a stream that used to create the border had moved gradually over time. Neither tennant was ready to compromise or even listen to Darcy's explanation of where the boundary lay. The dispute had escalated and was personal. He had months of work ahead of him to listen to both families, and come some kind of decision that would be beneficial to both sides. Yet again it occured to him that he needed a wife who could be a true equal partner. He knew in his heart that woman was Elizabeth and longed to take the paperwork over to the Lambton Inn and ask her help. He knew that at this point such action would be viewed as inappropriate, so for the moment he must continue to deal with this on his own. Pemberley's business would stretch out for months and there was nothing he could do about it now.

Despite being so busy Darcy still found the wait for his sister to arrive interminable. He knew it was not so much his sisters arrival, but that he could then take Georgiana and go see Miss Elizabeth. He ached just to be in her presence once more. None of his business stopped his smiling nor his dreaming that Miss Elizabeth thought better of him. Some of his dreams imagined alternate outcomes of yesterday's the meeting yesterday. At last, though Georgiana and the others arrived to a late breakfast, and Darcy called her and Mr Bingley into his library after breakfast. Georgiana had thought that it was to do with some business; however, Darcy only told them both that Elizabeth Bennet and her Aunt and Uncle were staying at Lambton. "Georgiana are you too tired or can you rally the strength to come and visit Miss Bennet today?"

"Just let me change and then we will go, Fitzwilliam" Miss Darcy was alarmed. She knew that Darcys illness had been protracted more than normal because of something to do with Miss Elizabeth. She worried that seeing Elizabeth Bennet would cause him to be ill again, but somehow he seemed stronger and happier now as he told her that Miss Elizabeth Bennet was here. Hesistantly she went with him to visit Elizabeth Bennet, she was also excited to finally meet this paragon that could tempt her brother out his batchelor life. Mr Bingley then cut in and stated "I'm going with you both. I cannot remember being happier than I was last Autumn in Hertfordshire" This statement Darcy didn't reply to but told them both to go and change and meet him outside in half an hour, he'd call the carriage. Bugger! it seems I miss read Bingley's feelings also. God I've buggered everything up! Plus I'm gonna have to tell him what I've done and put that right. What a bloody idiot I've been! Yes Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam were right about me…

While he waited for Georgiana and Mr Bingley to join him, Darcy realised with alarm his guilt over Bingley and Miss Bennet had an easy solution, however it was one that would have to wait. It could be done easily enough as when the ladies go up to Scarborough with a word to Bingley that they should return to Netherfield for shooting, so something could certainly be sorted out then. Darcy paced his library for the whole of the half hour, he didn't want to meet either Miss Bingley or Mrs Hurst who would both start up some witticisms about "fine eyes" or abusing Elizabeth Bennet's low connections. Darcy knew without a shadow of a doubt that Mrs Gardiner was the superior of Miss BIngley and Mrs Hurst. Darcy found his patience with Miss Bingley's behaviour waning, fast! So slowly the half hour passed. Eventually, Miss Darcy appeared in the hall, and Mr Bingley appeared not long afterwards, and they all set off to see Miss Bennet.

Arriving at the inn at Lambton, Darcy was again seized by the irrational thought of inviting them all to stay at Pemberley rather than the inn, but again quashed the idea and escorted his sister upstairs while telling Mr Bingley to wait for downstairs. The servant showed the Darcy's into a comfortable, but small parlour, and there Elizabeth Bennet, her Aunt and her Uncle were sitting. Miss Bennet he noticed was sitting close to the window. There she is at the window, close enough she could have been watching for us, he thought. He introduced Georgiana and then watched as Elizabeth Bennet persevered to get Miss Georgiana talking.

It was here that, for the first time, Darcy noticed that Georgiana's shyness was such that many people could think her to be proud, and this brought back certain of his own behaviour. He also realised that his own reserve was as much if not greater than his sisters and that he became very caustic and mean when he was forced to socialise with people he didn't know. This brought with it a fresh feeling of illness at his behaviour at the Meryton ball. However he maintained through all these reflections a pleasant and relaxed conversation with Mr and Mrs Gardiner. It was here while sitting in the parlour visiting the Gardiners and Elizabeth Bennet, with his sister that Darcy realised that nowhere in the world, would he rather be, nor had he enjoyed himself so much. Being a morning visit, it all too soon came to an end, and he encouraged his sister to give the agreed invitation to dine in two day's time. This invitation given was accepted, all that remained was for the Darcy's to give their excuses and leave.

It wasn't until he left that he realised that Elizabeth's aunt and uncle seemed to look between him and Elizabeth as if they knew how he felt. He had shown all his admiration of Elizabeth Bennet. With the Gardiners, at least, he was happy to show his admiration of Elizabeth Bennet. It dawned on him he could not ever hide his admiration for her.

Entering the saloon at Pemberley they were accosted by Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley. "Everyone ran away so quickly after breakfast, Mr Darcy, where did you go?" Asked Mrs Hurst, but before she could answer Miss Bingley started complaining about not having anything to do, and how she longed for a good book. Fitzwilliam Darcy knew this was a bid to get his attention, but merely said: "Mrs Hurst I apologise, but My sister and I had business in Lambton, which your brother assisted us with. Miss Bingley, you know where my library is."

"Oh but Mr Darcy I need your advice as to what one I should read" As usual Miss Bingley could not tell that she was being brushed off and continued to try gaining time and attention with Darcy.

"I cannot imagine why" was Fitzwilliam Darcy's simple answer, and then seated himself on the sofa farthest away from Miss Bingley."I don't think I've ever seen you actually read a book." Indeed if it wasn't for your schooling and My discussions with Elizabeth I wouldn't think that you even knew how to read or what a book was meant for.

Mrs Hurst then started asking for a card table, and Darcy merely nodded to his sister as if to say that'll keep them quiet for a bit, and very soon the rest of the party were at Quadrille. However, Darcy made the excuse that he had estate business, and so could not play in the middle of the day. Just as he was leaving the room, Darcy informed them that in two days there would be a dinner party, as Elizabeth Bennet and her Aunt and Uncle were staying in Lambton. Mrs Hurst frowned, and Miss Bingley started snickering about "fine eyes", "Mothers-in-law", and "badly behaved sisters". However, Georgiana didn't understand these references and Darcy ignored Miss Bingley's wit, leaving Miss Bingley to wear herself out. Miss Bingley's mood took a decided turn for the worse, but for now she would try to ingratiate herself with her hostess and that required her hiding her nastier side. A side that soon would be displayed in all of it's ugliness.

Darcy knew that he did have estate business that really should not be delayed, yet somehow he found his mind would not settle to his business, so instead having escaped his guests, he went to his bedroom and reviewed everything from the Meryton Ball to today. While sprawled on his bed, he contented himself with daydreams of the future, and debating in himself how quickly he could ask Elizabeth Bennet if she thought better of him after his letter, and even possibly whether it was possible that she could accept his offer of Marriage.

Darcy entered the lambton and rushed up the stairs to the Gardiners private sitting room, where Elizabeth sat alone. She stood up hastily upon his entrance, and Darcy immediately swept her into his arms. "Marry me Elizabeth" he whispered between kisses. "Yes Fitzwilliam" she whispered when he released her lips. Again he captured her lips and their kisses deepened soon she was pulling him out of the sitting room. Willingly he followed as she pulled him into her bedroom and closed the door. Darcy pushed her up against the door, tugging the front of her dress down to expose her breasts. He marvelled as the soft globes spilled into his hands. Darcy slowly kissed along along her jaw and down her neck until gently he was sucking on one nipple, while massaging her breast. His free hand caressed don her body and gardually pulled her skirts up around her waist…

The afternoon had passed away, and it was with a start that his valet woke him up to dress for Dinner. His Valet had become accustomed to Darcy behaving strangely since he had met Miss Elizabeth, and was no stranger to seeing Darcy having such dreams, but the peace on his masters face tonight, gave the valet hope that his young master would soon be settled happily. Darcy's illness had been a particular worry throughout the households of Darcy House, and Pemberley. It was well known that shown anything happen to Darcy Miss Darcy would be his sole heir, but it was unknown as to what changes her other guardian Colonel Fitzwilliam would institute in the households on Miss Darcy's behalf. There had been great relief when Darcy had recovered, but Darcy seemed to be changed since his recovery, nothing massive, but little things seemed different. So seeing his master so serene tonight Darcy's Valet hoped that things would soon go back to normal and that his master's heart would be whole once more. Darcy, after dressing for dinner and hurrying down, thought it might be politic to find out how Mr Bingley would feel about being his brother in law. His course of marrying Miss Elizabeth was set, and if Bingley was settled on Miss Elizabeth's sister he would have no real say in whether or not they become brothers.

As Darcy reached the bottom of the stairs, he realised he was late going to the parlour for dinner. He was thankful that Mrs Hurst was there as it meant he could not escort Miss Bingley into dinner. Miss Bingley continued to plague him about undesirable connections all evening, but that only triggered his internal thoughts and ruminations all the more. He considered what really made undesirable connections. Mrs Bennet is crass and a little rough around the edges but she's never been vicious. Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia Bennet are flirts and gossips it's true, yet they are not never cruel yet they know their place at home and in society. Mrs Philips now she's also crass yet she has her place in Meryton society by virtue of her sister. Aunt Catherine might be forgiven for her treatment of Miss Elizabeth being the daughter of an Earl, yet to tell a gentlewomen she was little better than a servant is an insult. Aunt Catherine should know better, nay does know better. Of all those undesirable connections only Mrs Phillips is not a gentle woman.

Mr Hurst, he's a quiet gentlemanlike man, who drinks too much but I know of no real faults he has. Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley, are quite different. At least Mrs Hurst realised she would not have done much better than in the marriage mart, but she amd Miss Viper act above their station in life. Miss Viper's fangs are razor sharp. I don't like the Miss Viper's mood tonight. There's something in her air and her mood tonight that if I didn't know better speaks more to the malice in her eyes. I've never seen it end well when she looks like that. Bingley's always been too soft in the ways he's dealt with her after his father died. Od know how difficult it is to raise a sister without your father, but Bingley's never truly stepped into his role as head of the family. Darcy felt suddenly he was more unwilling to be connected to the Bingleys than he was to any of the Bennets, and of course he had no choice in the matter with Lady Catherine. He would do absolutely anything for Miss Elizabeth, bear anything.

1 Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 20**

 **5** **th** **August 1812: In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate. Rene Descartes.**

During Dinner the conversation lacked any lustre and had no more depth than what lace was in fashion this year, or what was the best tune to play on the Pianoforte to show to best advantage the voice of a lady. This was all ladies chatter and which had no depth. Mr Hurst as usual, appeared to only think about his meal, Mr Bingley was quiet and obviously lost in his own thoughts, and Darcy missed the lively but intelligent chatter of Elizabeth Bennet, who having gotten Georgiana beyond monosyllabic answers had indeed opened Georgiana up, to be nearly as lively as she used to be. Things changed though when the ladies withdrew after dinner and the men were left to the port and cigars.

"Darcy if I did not know better I would say that you were in love with Miss Elizabeth" Mr Bingley rounded on him. Bingley had been considering Darcy's behaviour at lambton and struggling to reconcile it with his behaviour at Hertfordshire and shortly afterward. It appeared to Bingley that there was more to the story than he was aware and Bingley became determined to make Darcy talk.

"I cannot imagine what you mean" Darcy was was keenly aware that Mr Bingley had been there this morning when he and Georgiana had visited Elizabeth Bennet.

"Come now Darcy, don't deny it, you had it written all over your face, from the moment we stepped out of the carriage at the inn" Obviously Bingley was in no humour to let this drop "Have you forgotten all the objections that you heaped on me last winter? What about how unsuitable that family is? Surely you havent forgotten about that?! And what about the fact that thy have no fortune? Or more importantly I don't think Miss Elizabeth holds the same level of affection for you?"

Darcy was by now very uncomfortable. He felt guilty enough about that affair and was not in any humour to have that guilt compounded, but here it was Bingley was rounding on him, in a way that Darcy was unused to his friend doing so, but there was no avoiding it now, so there was nothing for it... "Yes Bingley, call me a hypocrite, for all the same objections, are there, but I am so deeply in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet that, well, those objections lost any meaning long ago. There is no way I could forget about the behaviour of her family. I have proof, I don't want to go into, against the whole mercenary argument, and one thing I hadn't realised when we were in Hertfordshire that had brought the mother's desire to have the girls well settled into perspective. Their family estate is entailed away from the female line. Mrs Bennet wants to look after her girls. Yes she goes about it in slightly questionable ways, but she does certainly want the best for her girls. As for the unequality of our afections" Here a look of pain flashed across Darcy's face before he could school his face back to neutral "I find simply that I don't care, I live simply for a kind word from her an hope for the day I could hope she would accept my hand"

Bingley had not expected this response, but continued "So, if those arguments are not so important I must conclude that you didn't want me to marry Jane because then I would be your brother in law."

"No!I would be honoured to have you as a brother! Although the thought of being related to your sisters I cannot pretend to be an appealing thought" Darcy said way to sharply "I fully believed in the arguments I gave you at the time. I have since had reason to reevaluate my arguments and thoughts. I guarantee that I honestly believed at the time that Miss Bennet was indifferent to you."

"So, you concede that I was right, Miss Bennet did care for me then? Then you would want to be my Brother in law."

"Perhaps, but to tell the truth, I'm not overjoyed at the thought of your sisters becoming my sisters in law."

At this Bingley looked a little perturbed, but admitted "Caroline has behaved badly this last year, but you know she did so only because she was jealous. If I married, then she would lose the right to preside over my table or run my house, and if you married anyone else, then she loses the one thing she wants more than any other in the world."

"My fortune," Fitzwilliam Darcy said quietly

"I suppose."

"C'mon Bingley when was the last time Miss Bingley ever said or did anything genuine, or paid a genuine compliment?"

"I really cannot remember" Mr Bingley at this was very uncomfortable and desired to change the subject. "At least Louisa was genuinely in love with Hurst when she married him."

"No, She wasn't" Mr Hurst butted in, both Bingley and Darcy looked at him shocked. For the first time it occurred to them that Mr and Mrs Hurst were not happy. "Don't tell her I said this, it was always meant to be kept a secret. However, we were both deceived when we married. She didn't tell me her Father had made his fortune from a trade, so I was led to believe she had better connections, and I led her to believe that I had a better fortune than I had. Since I had enough that I could live comfortably and that everything I did was fashionable, but I don't have a large fortune, in fact, what small fortune I have comes in the same way as yours Bingley. I am a man of trade, my Father made his living by trade and we were able to move up in society, that way. When Louisa found that out, any regard she had for me vanished. Since then we've kept up appearances only, and that is why I never join in the endless prattle of conversation. I miss the intelligent conversation I used to have in the club and the board room, and she has nothing but fashion and stuck up nonsense to talk about. It drives me to drink." Darcy and Bingley didn't know what to say to this, and then asked him why he didn't talk to them more in times like this. "Because you two had been to university and had that shared history, I've always felt like the intruder. Only ever here because of my wife."

"You are not an intruder!" Both Bingley and Darcy cried out at once. The rest of the time was spent by the three men chatting about books and sports and love and Bingley and Darcy found in Mr Hurst a much better companion than they had ever thought that he would be. Much time was spent talking over the port. The women noticed their absence. So when they eventually joined the women they found Miss Darcy had resorted to the Piano Forte. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were studying the fashion magazines to try planning their next season's dresses Mr Hurst though said "My dear you have more than enough dresses, please do not buy new clothes this year, you'll look just as beautiful as you do now."

"Not buy new clothes this year?! Whatever can you mean?" Asked Miss Bingley, who lived solely to be the most fashionable creature on the circuit.

"I mean that buying new clothes every year is an unnecessary extravagance. Look at the Bennet girls. They're beautiful and can have their pick of men, and they're definitely not in the most fashionable clothes all of the time" Mrs Hurst didn't like this, and was not used to her husband taking part in the conversation, and certainly didn't like to be compared to the Miss Bennets. Miss Bingley took no notice and continued to plan her expenditure for new clothes, but could not prevail on her sister to join her anymore, and Mrs Hurst joined Miss Darcy at the Piano Forte. Something would need to be done, things Mrs hurst and her sister were losing control. That was not acceptable to either one!

Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst met together in the shrubbery before breakfast the next morning. "Caroline," Started Mrs Hurst "have you noticed that none of the gentlemen has been the same since last autumn when we were all in Hertfordshire?"

"I did notice that last night Mr Hurst seemed to be very different, Charles, of course, has been subdued ever since we left Hertfordshire, but I hadn't noticed anything different about Mr Darcy, except maybe his admiration of Elizabeth Bennets fine eyes." Said Miss Bingley laughing.

"Caroline, this is serious. We have to do something. My husband is not usually so vocal and I am convinced that Jane and Eliza Bennet have a lot of power over Charles and Mr Darcy. We must find a wat to make them forget the Miss Bennets."

"I know what you mean Louisa, but upon my word I really do not know what else to do. We have to be careful. Mr Darcy does not answer to either of us. As much as I have tried to attract him, I don't know why he doesn't respond to my overtures. It is through Charles that we have to work, and I am dependant on Charles. November we separated Charles from Miss Bennet and convinced both him and Mr Darcy that Miss Bennet was indifferent to Charles. We have prevented any return to Netherfield so far, and that's as much as I fear we can do for do not forget that both he and Mr Darcy are both of independent means, and if anything we are dependent on them rather than the other way round." Miss Bingley answered.

"Next time we see Miss Eliza Bennet in company you must in some way or another remind Mr Darcy of Miss Eliza's fancy for Mr Wickham."

"Remember that Mr Darcy does not allow any mention of that name in his house."

"You'll find a way. Remember he's a part of the _ Militia, and you can safely allude to him via that means."

"Maybe it can be done." Miss Bingley was jealous enough that she would have done it without Louisa's prompting.

"We cannot afford to fail. Remember that you lose Pemberley and any hope of a decent marriage if you lose Darcy, and we certainly don't want to damage our precarious position in society. My marriage to Hurst didn't raise us as much as I would have liked. You must make sure that marry high, and Darcy would really be a feather in all of our caps!"

"I shall try Louisa."

What the two ladies had not realised was that where the were standing in the shrubbery was outside Darcy's study window, and because he had the window open he had heard every single word they had spoken. So that's your game is it? You mean, petty bitches! Don't you realise that one word from me could ruin you in society? Don't your realise that is is Bingley and Bingley alone that maintains your social situation? You both still want to make Bingley and Myself miserable because of your petty squabbles, also if you carry out your little game then you'll hurt my sister also. If Elizabeth accepts my hand and Jane accepts Bingley trust me I shall make sure that you both find your tongues bridled and your wings clipped! Do not ake me your enemy! I can promise right now I SHALL be speaking to Bingley as soon as may be.

After breakfast, the ladies repaired to the morning room and Mr Gardiner arrived for the fishing expedition. Mr Gardiner and the gentlemen all went down to the lake, and as they were sitting there chatting and Mr Hurst began to really relax with his brother in law and friend for the first time, Darcy saw lots of intelligence and humour start to show itself. However half an hour into the fishing expedition, Mr Gardiner mentioned that the Ladies of his party intended to visit Georgiana this morning in return for her visit the day before. Darcy immediately made his excuses and returned to the house.

Upon entering the morning room, sitting round the table was all the ladies of his party and the two ladies of Mr Gardiner's party. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Darcy were trying to converse. Mrs Annesley primarily spoke with Mrs Gardiner, but aided Miss Darcy's conversation occaisionally. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst weresat apart barely engaged with those around them. Mrs Annesley and Mrs Gardiner were conversing about how to educate young ladies in a way as to ensure not only that they grow up accomplished, but also that they develop their own characteristics without being unnecessarily burdened with too many constraints. It struck Darcy that it was time Miss Darcy came out into society. She would after all soon be seventeen.

Miss Darcy was blossoming into a young woman, and with no older sisters, at 16 nearly seventeen it was time for her to start entering into the social calendar. Darcy would always think of her as his baby sister, who reminded him of his mother and whose company and society he did not wish to lose. Yet enter society she must. It was time. Yet he made the excuse that he didn't know the first thing about being a chaperone for a young lady. Every time he went into society, he managed to give offence to other people and feared that his sister would do the same thing. However, that was part of Mrs Annesley's job to be a Companion and Chaperone to his sister. He then decided that he would speak to Mrs Annesley and instruct her to start preparing Miss Darcy for her coming out Ball. Colonel Fitzwilliam could be informed later on. Darcy caught a very unwelcome sneer. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were whispering together, much as Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia Bennet had done so last autumn when they visited Netherfield.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 21**

 _T_ he atmosphere changed suddenly as Miss Bingley openly attacked.

"Pray Miss Eliza, are the _Militia still quartered at Meryton?" Sneered Miss Bingley. Darcy Looked from Elizabeth Bennet to his Sister to Elizabeth Bennet, not knowing which one he felt more anxious for. Miss Darcy was overcome with confusion, and Elizabeth Bennet seemed to be composing her features so as to answer with dignity.

"No, they are encamped at Brighton for the summer."

Ah well that was simple and direct and told you to mind your own business, thought Darcy.

"That must be a great loss for your family."

Not necessary thought Darcy.

"We are enduring it as best we can."

Better than that I hope, smiled Darcy. Suddenly he was back in the drawing-room at Netherfield "Eliza Bennet, is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own; and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art." And there you showed me just who you are Miss Bingley!

Miss Darcy didn't recover much from Miss Bingley's vicious attack, and felt so confused, she felt more than knew that somehow Mr Wickham was involved in that sneer since Mr Wickham had joined the _Militia last autumn she knew. Darcy wanted to hug Elizabeth Bennet for handling Miss Bingley's attack so well and admired her more than ever. Miss Bingley in wanting to damage Miss Bennet in Darcy's eyes, had indeed only managed to ruin her own character further in his eyes, and this made her angry. Mrs Hurst whispered "You messed that one up. Look at the look between them. She knows something we don't! If I'm not mistaken, you've lost him, permanently" Miss Bingley ignored her sister, knowing that anything she said would be bitter and full of jealousy.

Not long after Miss Bingley's attack, Mrs Gardiner and Miss Bennet took their leave and returned to the inn at Lambton. Darcy accompanied them to their carriage and handed to the two ladies in. Elizabeth Bennet on taking his hand before she stepped into the carriage, gave it a gentle but definite squeeze, and Darcy instinctively and happily returned the gesture, and then before anything was noticed Elizabeth Bennet stepped into the carriage. Her Aunt then stepped into the Carriage and gave an expressive look to Darcy. Darcy knew that Mrs Gardiner has seen all, but didn't care. He would gladly take Mrs Gardiners reproving looks if he could have such gestures from the love of his life! Tomorrow, he promised himself, he would ride over tomorrow morning and invite Miss Bennet to take the air in the woods at Pemberley with his sister and himself, thereby creating a healthy appetite for the dinner that he and his sister had planned for the Gardiners and their niece.

Darcy watched the Carriage ride away and then still feeling that gentle squeeze on his hand he walked into the house slowly. Hoping but not being too confident that maybe Miss Bennet now thought better of him, and would, in fact, accept his hand in marriage. Everything was riding on how he conducted himself in the next few days, he knew it. The minute he returned to the Saloon he found Miss Bingley up to her usual style of falseness.

"How Very ill Eliza Benet looked this morning. Louisa and I were agreeing that we should never know her." This was the last thing Darcy thought or wanted to know, in fact, she looked to him more beautiful and her face more flushed, with the tan of summer. As Miss Bingley talked away about how brown and course Elizabeth was, and all the other things she said, Darcy was feeling more and more nettled, and only the remembrance of the gentle squeeze of his hand sustained his cool with his impertinent and rude house guest. However, Miss Bingley attacked Miss Elizabeth's fine eyes, and then reminded Fitzwilliam Darcy of one of his own deflections when talking about Elizabeth Bennet. "I distinctly remember you, Mr Darcy, one night after they'd been dining at Netherfield saying she a beauty I should as soon call her mother a wit." That did it!

Goodness Miss Bingley, you don't know when to give up! "Yes!" Darcy said, rather tersely,"That was only when I first knew her, for it has been many months now since I have considered her one of the most handsome women of my acquaintance." This had the desired effect of making Miss Bingley quiet, for it was written plainly on her face, how much that comment had hurt her, for although she wished that Darcy thought that about her, she had never once heard even a small compliment about her person from him. Darcy then heard Elizabeth Bennet's voice 'your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others' he knew though that he could not take back what he had just said to Miss Bingley, for two reasons. Firstly it was true what he had said, and secondly, it was only Miss Bingley that had gotten hurt. If he softened it, she would only think that she was gaining a victory and that she had a chance of being the next Mrs Darcy, something that Ann would be before her, and there was no way that Ann would ever be Mrs Darcy! Actually, if his Elizabeth (as he now fondly thought of her in private) was not Mrs Darcy, he knew that no one else would ever be and that he would leave the entire estate to His sister Georgiana, who was the present beneficiary if anything were to happen to him before he married.

Leaving the ladies to their own entertainments he left the room, and then called for Mrs Annesley to come and see him, he would send a note to Colonel Fitzwilliam about this later. "Mrs Annesley, I have decided that it is the time that my sister was prepared to come out."

"Since I arrived last year, she has come on leaps and bounds, sir, but I am not sure that her temperament is one that would handle the social circuit at the moment, sir."

"I am aware of her temperament, and I am worried that she is not forming her own character as much as she ought, she seems to be frightened of me."

"If I had been your governess sir it would have worried me that you were so reserved if I might say so, sir."

"Mrs Annesley, I would like to ask you a question. When you met my Cousin and me I know that you liked my cousin very much, but what did you think of me? Be honest your job is secure here."

"Well, sir...I could see that you were more reserved than your cousin, but it did also come across as being very proud and almost that you didn't want to be around people who were beneath you."

"Thank you Mrs Annesley, you may go back to my sister and our house guests. Please inform Miss Darcy that she is to come out at the next season in London. For she must be presented at St James'"

"Yes sir" and with that Mrs, Annesley left Darcy, who then proceeded to deal with his steward and other servants on the estate business that needed to be attended to.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 22**

The Day passed slowly for Darcy, who was impatient to put to work his plan to win Miss Bennet's hand. However, he did not expect the thing that was to once more to stymie all his plans. For the next morning started off as usual. Impatient for the day to start Darcy had risen early and cleared all his estate business before breakfast, when the others joined him in the breakfast parlour. Miss Darcy said that she was looking forward to seeing Elizabeth Bennet that evening and the others only thought of their food. After the ladies had left the breakfast parlour, Darcy informed Mr Bingley and Mr Hurst that he would not be joining them for their field sports that morning, as he wished to ride over to Lambton and see Elizabeth Bennet again. "Really Darcy you should ask her to marry you, you know." Cried Bingley, and a pained look came over Darcy's face as he said it.

"Uh oh, looks like he might have done and it didn't go too well," said Mr Hurst.

Darcy then quietly stated that he might have done so and things not went so well, but that he had hopes that he could change her mind.

"Upon my word Darcy, you think you can make her love you?!"

"Why not?" Fitzwilliam Darcy smiled remembering that gentle squeeze the previous day... "I'm not entirely without hope you know."

"Darcy you really are a bigger fool than I am" Cried Bingley. Darcy wasn't used to being abused so by Mr Bingley and said nothing.

"Bingley I understand how Darcy feels, I keep thinking I can make Louisa love me, and by degrees, I believe that it is working, Darcy you go get her!" Mr Hurst said. With this Mr Bingley and Mr Hurst went out to fish in the stream, and Darcy got on his horse and rode over to Lambton.

Smiling at the reception he hoped to get, Darcy was informed that Miss Elizabeth Bennet was on her own in the parlour, as Mr and Mrs Gardiner had gone for a walk. However as he was shown into the room, Elizabeth Bennet was at that moment darting towards the door. "I beg your pardon, Mr Darcy, I must leave you I have not an instant to lose, I must find Mr and Mrs Gardiner at once, on business that cannot be delayed" She cried as she headed nearer the door.

Decorum between them seemed to be totally lost for a few minutes. Darcy replied "Good God, what is the matter?!" and then collecting himself he said, "Of course I won't detain you for a moment, but let me go or let the servant go you cannot go yourself you are not well enough."

She seemed to stagger and then consented. She called back the servant and then commissioned them to fetch Mr and Mrs Gardiner who had walked in the direction of the church. Now Darcy waited in suspense. Would it be appropriate to say any of the things he had intended to say? Why was there important business to be dealt with? What was wrong? She looks so ill, Oh that I could take her in my arms and comfort her. The longing to hold her in his arms was almost more than he could bear, and so he said in a consolatory way "May I not call a doctor? Truly you look very ill. A glass of wine may I not get you one?" Her reply was soft but informed him that she was not sick, but had received some dreadful news from Longbourne, and now she was crying.

What should I do? What can I do? I don't know! I want to hug her so badly! Thought Darcy, but presently she started to unfold the terrible story. For a minute or two, he was looking at himself last year if Wickham had succeeded with Georgiana. Jane had written from Longbourne, Lydia had run away with one of the officers. With HIM! Suddenly Darcy found himself struggling to maintain any form of decorum at all. He wanted to hug Elizabeth, he wanted to strangle Wickham, and he wanted to swear so loudly and badly that he knew he would shock Elizabeth Bennet if he even said half of what he wanted. Once more Darcy found himself looking at what it would take to disentangle himself from Wickham. There was no explanation as to why he should choose Lydia, unless...No Wickham cannot know that I am in love with Elizabeth surely?! Could he? Why would he want Miss Lydia otherwise? Her Father can give him nothing, except maybe a hundred a year and a settlement on Miss Lydia of about a thousand that is all that Miss Elizabeth would be entitled to as well. So why choose Miss Lydia, unless he knew that he could get to me somehow through her?. Why did that man not die when he and my mother were both ill with that cold that took my mother off? Why was it my mother and not him? He is disgusting! How often in university did I cover his tracks so my Father would not find out how disgusting he is?! Why did I do it?

"I am grieved indeed, grieved – shocked. But is it certain - absolutely certain?" He cried

"Oh yes, they left Brighton together on Sunday night, and were traced almost to London but not beyond: they are certainly not gone to Scotland."

"And what has been done, what has been attempted, to recover her?" he pressed. He had to know all the facts so he could mount his own search.

"My Father is gone to London, and Jane has written to beg my uncle's immediate assistance, and we shall be off in half an hour. But nothing can be done – I know very well nothing can be done. How is such a man to be worked on? How are they even to be discovered? I have not the smallest hope. It is every way horrible!" Money, Money, Money and my money it must be. Ever since we were boys, he would squander his own money, and then he would weasel his way around me, threatening to make my Father think ill of me if I did not help him, and now covertly he was ruining a silly young woman if once again I do not help him. I must be the only person in the world that can bring this marriage about... The next thing that Darcy heard from Elizabeth was "When my eyes were opened to his real character –Oh had I known what to do! But I knew not – I was afraid of doing too much. Wretched, wretched mistake!" Suddenly Darcy realised she had kept his secret, to the cost of her own Sister. As his brow contracted and he silently contemplated the task ahead and all that had gone before. Why had she not told her Father what she knew when Lydia was invited to go to Brighton? It's not her fault, but mine that this has happened! I begged her secrecy to protect my own sister, and in doing so, I've cost her hers! I must remedy this situation, as well! I must restore her sister to her in some way or another. Could I have judged any worse this last year?! In thinking I knew best and knew what was in the minds of others, I have destroyed the comfort and hopes of so many? No, I know that I am truly as bad – nay worse than Elizabeth portrayed me last April. Could I cover their sudden departure by re-applying for her hand right now? For surely they must leave, and if I ask now, then the reason for the sudden departure could be explained as nothing more than my impatience at knowing I had her Fathers permission. No, now is not the right time. For if she did accept me right now it would be for fear that no other decent man would take her. I must wait for a time. I must go and get her sister back, and if necessary I must negotiate a marriage between her sister and Him! To think that he might be my brother in law is sickening indeed, but it cannot be helped now if I am to remedy the situation that has arisen. For such a task as this I must leave Pemberley, and go to London tomorrow, and I must pay out more money to that scoundrel! Why, oh why, did my Father ever take a liking to such a man?! Suddenly Darcy thought: This is a very private family tragedy, and I am technically a stranger to this, oh dear, has she wanted me gone? Why did she even tell me? I cannot bear this, and what has he been doing? I must follow him. Maybe Mrs Younge knows where he is. I know that for a certain sum of money I can get him out of my life forever, and I also know that Mrs Younge will be more than happy to oblige if she is given enough for her trouble. I cannot promise Elizabeth anything. If I promise Elizabeth, then it'll only beg for thanks or give false hopes that I cannot guarantee to be fulfilled. "I am afraid that you have long been desiring my absence, nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay, but real though unavailing concern." More concern than you will ever know he silently thought, "Would to heaven that anything could be said or done on my part that might offer consolation to such distress!" Would that I tell you that I'm to London to search for them myself "But I will not torment you with vain wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks. This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister's having the pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley to-day."

"Oh yes. Be so kind as to apologise for us to Miss Darcy. Say that urgent business calls us home immediately. Conceal the unhappy truth for as long as possible. I know it cannot be long" She replied. It appeared to Darcy that Elizabeth had forgotten entirely about their engagement that evening, and now was thankful that he had suggested it.

"You have my secrecy. I wish I had not asked yours. I'm sorry for your distress, and once more I wish it a happy conclusion. Please give my compliments to Mr and Mrs Gardiner." Then giving Elizabeth a long look as he backed out of the room, Darcy rode slowly and sadly back to Pemberley, his mind whirling and distressed. Once more that man was intruding on his notice. Once more that man was going to drain the Pemberley estate of money. How much it would be this time, he was not sure, but one thing that he knew, however, much it was it would not be enough to satisfy a man, who would, if he could steal the whole of the Pemberley estate. This much had become very clear when he was a child. So many memories now flooded his mind, memories of how George Wickham with his natural manners had ingratiated himself with the late Mr Darcy. How His mother had seen that His Father's liking for George Wickham was installing higher expectations in him, than he should have had. Of his mother's illness and death, of Georgiana's intended elopement, of his worming his way into Elizabeth's good books, of his own bad conduct so that Elizabeth should take Wickham's falsehoods as truth, and of Miss Lydia's unguarded and frivolous manner. Nothing in Miss Lydia though had given rise to the thought that she would do such a thing. Yes, she was a flirt and was imprudent and silly. She didn't have any kind of understanding of propriety of behaviour, that is for sure, but she was not one for eloping, not in what he had seen of her. Mind given the right encouragement and her imprudence I suppose it would not take much for such a girl to elope with such a man, and Georgiana has more breeding and understanding of proper behaviour and nearly did the same thing. How is it that two girls so different, could both be so taken in by that wretch of a man? Then he remembered that Elizabeth was also taken in by him. My Elizabeth...I must help her. She is so distressed. It doesn't matter how much it costs... And so he continued not just to Pemberley, but for the rest of the day.

When Darcy arrived back at Pemberley he was grateful that none of the ladies was around – it seems that they had gone out for a walk. The gentlemen were fishing, and so Darcy had the house to himself, for a short period of time. This time he took in instructing his Valet and other servants to prepare for his departure in the morning at first light, to go to London. Knowing that Elizabeth Benet would arrive home either tomorrow or the next day, depending on whether they travelled overnight, and knowing the urgency Darcy presumed that they would travel overnight and would be in longbourn the next day. He was planning to travel overnight and would be in town on Sunday, and would call on Mrs Young that same day. And so Darcy did occupy the rest of the day until Mr Hurst and Mr Bingley came in from fishing and the ladies returned, as it turned out from going into town and then visiting some acquaintances that Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst had made. Upon the ladies entrance, Darcy called his sister into his library. "Georgiana, I am about to tell you something that will pain you, but will I hope also help you. You remember what nearly happened to you last summer?"

"You mean with Mr Wickham?"

"Yes, I do" at this Georgiana blanched, thinking that now her brother intended to chastise her for her weakness and foolishness. "It's ok, he used you abominably ill, and now he has done the same thing to another young lady with greater success."

"What are you going to do?" She asked

"I am going to London tomorrow to find him out and to negotiate a marriage for her. Georgiana, this young lady is Miss Elizabeth's sister, and no matter what it costs me I have to do this – can you understand that?"

"Yes, I think I can. However how long are you going to let that man manipulate you into giving him more and more money? After what you've told me and everything I remember that is all he's doing. Everything he does is calculated and mean, he must have gotten the idea that you are in love with Miss Bennet."

"Yes" Sighed Fitzwilliam Darcy "I know he must have done so. The likelihood is that someone at Meryton noticed my admiration when I was there, and what with their speculations about Mr Bingley, I would bet that they had similar expectations of me. Also if he found out about the intimacy that I had with Miss Bennet at Rosings he might have worked out something there, for he always took delight in ferreting out which woman it was that took my fancy. Thankfully I wasn't in the habit of falling in and out of love much, so he never had much to hold over me." Instead of answering Georgiana stepped over and hugged her brother. "One last thing, though, could you tell everyone that Mr Gardiner had to go home on urgent business, do not mention George Wickham or Miss Lydia."

"Of course, in fact, I'll leave it to you to explain their absence, and I'll just go along with whatever you say." Together the brother and sister left the library, both lost in their own thoughts of how one man could ruin the happiness of an entire family, and the expectations of women, who by all accounts had so little chance of marrying well...

As they entered the saloon, Mr Bingley instantly asked where the Gardiners and Miss Elizabeth Bennet were, to which Fitzwilliam Darcy merely answered: "Mr Gardiner had an urgent letter arrive requesting him to return to town on urgent business." Except for the person who received the letter that was not an untruth thought Fitzwilliam Darcy. I just haven't mentioned the nature of that business. Mr Bingley seemed satisfied with the answer, and when the servants called them into dinner, Darcy remembered that he had forgotten to have the extra plates removed, and so Darcy was reminded all through dinner that tonight he was to have had the pleasure of showing Elizabeth Bennet Pemberley house, properly. Something in him ached now as he remembered that fact, and it hurt inside for he wanted so much to bring her to Pemberley as its mistress, something that now unless he put into effect a desperate measure that he hadn't intended, might never come to pass. For the first time since his illness, he wondered if he would ever have the joy and the happiness that he had once had. He knew that he would go on, but whether life held any joy for him, he was not aware.

Whether there had been any conversation at Dinner Darcy did not know, he barely remembered eating anything or when the ladies withdrew from the dinner table. His mind was so engaged in the task ahead, and remembering that small squeeze of the hand as she left him on Wednesday morning, and absentmindedly did he join the ladies in the salon for the evening entertainment.

"You are very quiet this evening Mr Darcy. Not mourning the loss of Miss Eliza Bennet I hope" Asked Miss Bingley.

"Yes, actually Miss Bingley, and I am actually forming a plan that when I return from town, which I'm not sure how long I shall be in town, that Bingley, Mr Hurst and myself should form a shooting party to go Hertfordshire." Enough of your bitterness and jealousy, I know that you only want my fortune, and Pemberley House thought Darcy, with no patience for her games tonight.

"Oh but then you'll have to socialise with the Miss Bennets, and Miss Lucas's and all the other misses down there!" Cried Caroline Bingley, horrified at the thought that her brother might once more fall under the spell of Miss Bennet, the elder sister of Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

"And why should we not? They are young ladies who are out in society are they not?" Asked Darcy

"Yes but their low connections and they're all so vulgar" Said Miss Bingley, realising that any influence she had in the past was now completely gone.

"Miss Bingley if I wish to associate with vulgar people, why would you care? And why should I not go with your brother?" Fitzwilliam Darcy knew by this that she could not answer without exposing the reason she had declared Miss Bennet to be indifferent to her brother.

"Oh...well...why don't we all go then?"

"I thought that you and Mrs Hurst had planned to go to Scarborough to see some of your friends. There's no need for you ladies to change your plans just because we gentlemen wish to do something different."

"Well...yes... I suppose you are right Mr Darcy."

"Good that's settled then." Cried Mr Bingley who had already sent word to Hertfordshire to expect the shooting party.

Darcy then informed the party that his business in town was to take him away from Pemberley at first light and that therefore he probably would not see any of them before he left. So he bade them all farewell and then left the party to go to an early bed. He knew that he would not sleep until he was on the road, so taking a book from his library he slowly made his way up to his chamber. In two days he would once more be negotiating with that ungrateful wretch, and once more his pockets would be robbed of money that should go to settle on his daughters or be inherited by his sons.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 23**

Darcy passed a restless night in his chamber as expected, but what was unexpected was the uneasy dreams he had when he did sleep. In his dream, he was he was arranging a wedding between Miss Elizabeth and Wickham, rather than Lydia and Wickham. In his dream, he had not opened her eyes to Wickham's true character he feared may have been all too likely. This made him feel sick, and not want to do the task at hand, but just before dawn as promised in came his valet and woke him up, and up Darcy got and washed and dressed in such a hurry as his valet had hardly the time to do what needed to be done. Soon Darcy was on the road, and with a sinking feeling, he realised that he would have to hire post horses as he had not had time to send his own on ahead. Shrugging his shoulders he carried on, and breakfasted at the first inn where he had to change horses, and bought a cold dinner that he could eat on the way so that he did not have to stop for longer than the time to change the horses, at any of the other inns. Ever in front of his face was his Elizabeth's face as she pleaded to know what could be done for her sister, and as she cried out her distress. The more he thought about it, the more Darcy felt that he had been to blame, and felt that he had to remedy the situation. The roads were dry and the weather hot, but none of this was heeded as the carriage hurtled on toward town. The short stops at the inns to change horses were a welcome relief as they meant cold drinks and comfort breaks for both him and his servants.

As the night drew on he told his driver to drive over night, and then he went to sleep in his carriage. Haunted once more by memories of boyhood frolics, and flights of fancy that had preferred Wickham to himself. Haunted also by the faults and failings of this past year. How much more had he judged wrongly and dealt with unjustly? Was he even halfway as good and as generous a man as he had originally thought, and then he thought back to that ball at Meryton, and once again he saw the pain in Elizabeth's eyes. That pain that he had inflicted time and time again, and no matter how much she covered it with witticisms and laughter, it was there torturing him. So also were her words from the Parsonage. "Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner" Oh how he longed to take back those cruel words he had uttered at the parsonage, telling her how low he had viewed her and her family. She was in fact infinitely better than so many of the fashionable ladies of his acquaintance who had the advantage of connections and fortune, but for what? Most of them never picked up a book in their lives, and it is certain that they never understood what the difference was between folly and inconsistency that could be laughed at and something serious that should never be laughed at. He contrasted that night when his own character had been under the microscope and Elizabeth Bennet had been looking for a way to tease him. It was he who had said about his temper not being yielding enough, and that he didn't forgive easily and she who had wisely commented that she could not laugh at it, with Miss Bingley's constant wit denigrating both her connections and her fine eyes. No Miss Bennet was infinitely better than all the Miss Bingleys, and Miss Grantley and Miss Smiths of the world, and it was at that point that Darcy realised that no matter whether he found Wickham or not it did not matter, for he already knew that life without Elizabeth Bennet would be miserable and impossible. Scandal or no scandal, it made no difference his love for her was all that mattered.

Darcy arrived in London in the early hours of Sunday morning and forced himself to sleep a little before setting out later in the day for Mrs Younge's house on Edward Street. He knew that a week's rent at Mrs Younge's house was worth one sovereign, but she charged two. So taking ten Sovereigns in his pocket with the express intent of using them to bribe Mrs Younge into telling him where Mr Wickham was hiding, he set out. If it didn't take all of those coins Darcy devised a plan where he would buy both Elizabeth and Georgiana matching fans for the next season. Mrs Younge he found, although resistant at first to give him the details of Wickham's whereabouts surprisingly quick to abandon her friend when she thought she could get the equivalent of two weeks rent for nothing. So it took only four Sovereigns and Darcy then knew that Elizabeth and Georgiana would have the fans. He also included Jane in the plan as he was aware that Bingley was still in love with Jane, and it was likely that Jane was still in love with Bingley – another situation he had made a gross mistake in, and something else he would have to rectify.

Having gained the information as to where Wickham and Lydia were staying, Darcy made his way there. The lodgings themselves were comfortable but small and it was very obvious that they had no servants or anything else that would denote that a gentleman and his lady were living there. Mr Wickham's situation was definitely desperate given the situation that they were living in then. Upon entering their accommodation Fitzwilliam Darcy found himself face to face with the man he most hated in the world, and as he watched him parade his wanton, offensive behaviour in front of Darcy, Darcy found himself hating Wickham all the more. However, the business must be done and concluded for Elizabeth's sake.

"So you came at last," Wickham said, "I've been expecting you to come." To this Fitzwilliam Darcy just growled.

Smiling Mr Wickham continued, "I knew that with you continuing your acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth at Kent that you had to have some interest in her and her family. Let me guess you prefer her to that pale-faced cousin of yours, Miss Anne DeBourg. I do Pity you Darcy, for you will either end up with your aunt being furious at you, or you will end up with that pale-faced little squib."

"I assure you that I am not going to marry anyone at this moment in time," Said Mr Darcy easily.

"Oh come now, we both know that you are in love with Miss Elizabeth. I knew it from the way you reacted when you saw it was me talking to her at Meryton, and it was confirmed to me when she told me that her knowing you better had improved her opinion of you" Wickham's impertinence annoyed Mr Darcy.

"Enough of this idle chatter Wickham, I am here for one reason and one reason only Miss Lydia Bennet" So my letter did make her think better of Darcy thought.

"Oh you can have her if you like, I've done with her, she's served her purpose well, and the silly little thing never ever realised that she was only a tool to get what I wanted." Said Mr Wickham.

"In other words, you never intended to marry girl."

"Of course not! She has no money, no connections what would tempt a man like me? That is unless you really are to marry Miss Elizabeth, then she at least does have one excellent connection"

"How about if there were money to go along with her?!" Said Fitzwilliam Darcy, knowing Mr Wickham would be entirely unreasonable.

"Sorry Darcy, but she really isn't any fun anymore, in fact, she wasn't much fun to begin with, way too easy. In fact, it was easier than getting your sister to agree to elope with me."

"You had better marry her, her family is in turmoil, and you are the cause of it" Mr Darcy would not take hints that Mr Wickham wanted to make.

"Nope, I never wanted her to come with me. I had to leave Brighton as I had too many debts of honour outstanding. Silly little thing started on at me that it would be a good joke to go to Gretna Green. Eventually, I found it easier for her to come with me than it was for her to stay" Said Mr Wickham.

"You've ruined her and her family" stated Fitzwilliam Darcy.

"What has that to do with me? You know how stupid her mother is, she's most likely sharing in the joke, and how good it will be when her daughter returns home married" Said Mr Wickham.

"I can assure you that is not the case" I won't betray too much of what Elizabeth has told me.

"What do you know about it?"

"I have it on good authority that her Mother is in Hysterics and very upset over all this."

"She should have taken better care of her Daughter then."

"I cannot disagree with you, but it doesn't change the fact that you are to blame." Having to agree with Mr Wickham on anything made Fitzwilliam Darcy uneasy. However he couldn't deny the justice of Mr Wickham's remark.

"So what do you want me to do about it?"

"Marry the girl."

"No, I cannot, you know I need a fortune with the woman I marry. Thirty thousand pounds or more."

"You will marry this girl." Growled Fitzwilliam Darcy, wanting to get this over with.

"What will you supply her want of fortune?"

"I might give something along those lines, but this is the last time I will EVER be prevailed upon to help you out of a tight spot. I have to look to the future, and make sure that my Children inherit a decent fortune."

"You need to get married first" Laughed Wickham.

Darcy ignored that comment. "Let me talk with the Girl." Wickham got up and left the room, and shortly afterwards in paraded Miss Lydia Bennet as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"What are you doing here?" She asked Darcy.

"I'm here to try and help you girl." Replied Darcy more sharply than he meant to.

"Thank you, but I don't need any help."

"Do you not?" He asked "How do you expect a man like that to marry you? Do you not comprehend what you've done to your family? How your Father is looking for you, your Mother is upset, and so are all your sisters?" Elizabeth's face at the inn rose up before his eyes, and he found this whole affair so painful that he wanted to walk out and never return.

"Oh, Kitty knew all about what I was planning and told me that she thought it would be a good joke too. As for the others, well they never said much to me anyway."

That's because they had much more sense than you he thought, but contented himself with asking "What do you know about Mr Wickham's history?"

"Oh I know that you cheated him out of the living he was supposed to have, but nothing else, and it doesn't really much signify since we will be married one of these days."

"There's less truth in that than in you thinking he will marry you. You are aware that he does not plan to marry you."

"Oh, I know we will be married, for he doesn't say no when I talk about it."

"And are you not concerned for the welfare of your family, and how materially you have damaged your sister's chances of marrying well?"

"Wickham says that you plan to marry Lizzy, so I don't think I've damaged their chances too badly."

"No, you have materially damaged their chances for no man with any decency or standing in the world would marry into a family where one of the girls has done what you have."

"That still doesn't worry me, for Wickham says that you'll still marry Lizzy."

"Whatever my plans for marriage are they do not concern you! I am asking you for the sake of your family and your friends to come away from this despicable situation. Your whole family is upset and being damaged by this affair." Darcy said very sharply.

"No, I will not leave my dear Wickham" Upon that Wickham entered the room. "Have you managed to talk her into leaving me?" He asked wrapping his arms around her and sitting down on the sofa next to her. Darcy growled again and muttered under his breath –Now the negotiations begin. "How much are you in debt?"

"Well I'm in debt in Brighton, I'm in debt here in town, I'm in debt in Meryton, and in Norwich."

"What were you doing in Norwich?"

"Oh trying to find a woman of fortune."

"So how much do your debts come to?"

"Well it's a thousand pounds in Meryton, two thousand in Norwich – I was nearly run out of town there, a thousand here in town, and only five hundred in Brighton, but the debts of honour include more than money."

"Girls?"

"Two of them."

"Did you learn nothing at university?"

"Yeah, you were an easy touch to buy them off."

"My Father is not around anymore, and you are testing my patience really thin."

"Ah but you want to preserve Elizabeth's good name, that must be worth something to you."

"I won't buy the girls off, but your debts I will cover. As you know, the Bennet girls get a thousand pounds each on the death of their mother, and I will settle on Miss Lydia four thousand pounds extra. So she will have a total of five thousand pounds in the settlement. I will also buy you a commission in the regulars. All this on condition that you marry the girl."

"Make her settlement to twenty thousand, and it's done."

"seven."

"Fifteen" Wickham was beginning to look desperate, for as desperate as his finances are there was that something in his air that said, I don't really want to lose this girl either.

"Ten and that's my final offer" Darcy smiled inwardly, this is what I had intended to do anyway – not for her sake, but Elizabeth's.

"Done" The two men shook hands. Then Darcy said, "Come to my club tomorrow, with all the information on your debts, and we'll sort the details out." Thereupon Darcy left the house and went to bond street to visit the milliners. Where he would commission the three fans, he intended to buy.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 24**

Darcy smiled to himself as he entered the milliners on Bond Street, for although he didn't know how he would present two of the three fans, he was aware that he would give them somehow. Casting his eye over the fans that were on show his eye finally came to rest on a lovely seashell pink fan, of which the milliners had three. Seeing how beautiful they looked, he pointed them out and told the milliner he wanted the three girls names engraved on the edges of the fans. One would say, Elizabeth, one would say Jane and one would say, Georgiana. These three fans were to be delivered to his town home by the end of the week. The fans cost less than he had expected, and so Darcy smiled and paid, and said he expected them at the end of the week.

The next day Wickham arrived at Darcy's club, as insolent as ever, and handed over all the bills he had for his debts. These Darcy promptly put into the hands of his attorney, and the attorney was given the details to start the drafting of all the legal documents, in preparation for Wickham and Lydia's Marriage. The details then took up the rest of the week, and then on Saturday, Darcy made his way over to Gracechurch Street, but finding Mr Bennet still there and leaving in the morning, he didn't leave his name and decided to return the next day.

The Next morning Darcy arrived after breakfast having waited until Mr Bennet had left, and then informed Mr Gardiner of all that he had done, and how he had finally solved the issue of Wickham and Lydia. He insisted on paying for everything himself, and would not let Mr Gardiner pay out a farthing for Miss Lydia. In fact, he handed Mr Gardiner all the documents already drawn up by his own attorney and merely told him to peruse them, and he would be back in the morning, and true to his word he was.

When he arrived in the morning, Mrs Gardiner had returned home, and they both met him. They said that the paperwork looked fine, and the details were ok, by them, except that they wanted to be of some use to their niece. Darcy though would not hear of them spending any money, but rather Mrs Gardiner was to take her niece to get her wedding clothes, something that Darcy would have no idea on, but the bill was to be made out to him. So obstinate was Darcy in insisting on paying for everything that eventually the Gardiners gave in. "Well Mr Darcy, we really cannot tell you how grateful we are for this. From the bottom of our hearts we thank you, but please know that we in no wise hold you responsible for any of this, and we would gladly help to bear the expense if you would only let us."

"Please, no more talk of the expense. The money is nothing to me. I have made many mistakes in this past year, and not making known the true character of that man, was a major one of them. Please be aware that I was protecting the character of another young person in not making known his character, however, I see now that I was mistaken in that since it has led to a situation where he could ruin the character of another young person. I am truly sorry that I did not make his character known."

"I shall now send off the express to my Brother in Hertfordshire, and then we will see you in ten days' time at the wedding. Please be assured that as to the financial settlement I am sure my Brother will agree with his part in this, and I will keep your secret. However, I would like you to dine with us the day after the wedding if you will, as a thank you for all you have done."

"Thank you I shall be delighted" And again with that Darcy took his leave, and with the fans safely in his trunk, he made his way back to Derbyshire.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 25**

Georgiana's delight at seeing her Brother two days later was just what he hoped for, and she now began to plague him with when her intimacy with Miss Elizabeth Bennet might be resumed. However, that was a question which he longed to know the answer to. For although he was aware that he would go down as part of the shooting party, he was not aware as to what the outcome of his case might be. Wickham had dropped a gem about Elizabeth's change of heart towards him. Her gentle squeezing of his hand as she got into the carriage that day had become so special to him, that he was beginning to fear that he had imagined it. Georgiana wanted to write to Miss Elizabeth, but Darcy was not yet comfortable that Elizabeth was over the shock and grief that her sister's elopement had given her. So he told her to wait until he could give her the signal that all was well.

Entering the saloon that evening he presented Georgiana with her new fan, and the look on both Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst's faces was worth all the abuse that they now laid on him. They were obviously very jealous that he had gone to London and bought Georgiana a new fan, and not brought them anything back. They abused him that it was extravagant, an unfashionable colour. They abused it in every way they could. All Darcy did was smile and sit there thinking what they would say if they knew that he had bought two more fans for this season, one for Miss Elizabeth and one for Miss Jane?

Mr Bingley laughed at his sisters, "My dear Caroline and Louisa, how can you be so horrid to Darcy? Of course, he is entitled to buy a new fan for his sister, just as much as I might buy you both new fans if I choose. Why should you expect him to buy you anything, though? After all, you are nothing to him but my sisters..."

In response to this Miss Bingley just bit her lip and moved quickly out of the room to go up to her own. The truth was that she now realised that there was no way she was going to get Darcy in any way, and she had lost out to a woman who had neither fortune nor connections. She was far too proud to let anyone see her cry over disappointed hopes. Cry she did that night, and many more wouldn't reconcile herself to it until the day Darcy would take his wedding vows, and she knew that no more could she hope to separate the lovers, and going to Scarborough suddenly seemed to be the best thing in the world that she could look forward to.

After that night Miss Bingley became fonder than ever of Miss Darcy and tried every way possible to encourage her friend's accomplishments. The next six days passed in quietness and relative solitude. Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley stayed out of the communal saloon, Mr Hurst and Mr Bingley continued to improve their relationship as brothers in law and found that they had more in common than anyone knew, and Miss Darcy returned to her accomplishments and true to her word Mrs Annesley was preparing Miss Darcy for entering society. Darcy found that he was on his own now for a major part of every day and that the accident of it was not unwelcome.

At the end of the eight days at home, Darcy once more found himself on the road back to town, and after two more days once more he was settled in his townhouse. He knew that he wanted Elizabeth and Jane to have the fans no matter what, but could not think of a way to give them to the girls without it seeming particular. So the fans stayed in his trunk, and Darcy the next day pulled up to Wickham's lodgings. Wickham it appeared was more than ready to go to the church to claim his bride. Darcy noted that had he persevered he might have been able to keep Wickham down to less for Wickham did seem to relish the choice of bride he had made –why Darcy would never know for she was more stupid than her mother, more impertinent and completely devoid of any sense. Yet Darcy knew that Wickham would manipulate his wife, and use her for his own ends, time and time again. So at quarter to eleven Mr Wickham appeared at his door, trunk in hand and Darcy servants tied the trunk to the carriage and off they went to St Clements church where Wickham was to marry his silly bride.

Standing at the front of the church next to Wickham, both acting as groomsman and also making sure that Wickham followed through with this marriage, Darcy's thoughts strayed back to the Parsonage in Kent, his agitation and that fateful Marriage proposal. Oh, how he wished that he had been able to captivate Elizabeth's heart. How he wished that she had accepted him, and above all how he wished that this was his wedding to Elizabeth, under better circumstances, and not Wickham's to Lydia that he now had to attend. Wickham stood at the front of the church and checked his watch numerous times before the bride made her entrance ten minutes late. When Lydia first entered the church, for a split second he thought he was looking at Elizabeth, and his heart sang. Then recollecting himself, he stood there watching as the silly girl who was barely old enough to enter society, was married off to a man double her age. A man whose admiration for her would very soon fade into nothingness, and probably now didn't care much more for her than for the immediate gratification of his lusts, but it couldn't be helped. Within half an hour the wedding was over, and the Wickhams were heading to Longbourn. Darcy knew that it was due to Jane and Elizabeth that their Father had eventually agreed to have Lydia return to Longbourn for a visit before her husband went to Newcastle to take up his commission. If her behaviour at the church were anything to go by, Poor Jane and Elizabeth would regret this. It's too late now, and Darcy felt sorry for Elizabeth and knew that he would not make much use of the rest of the day, wondering how the bride was conducting herself at Longbourn House, and especially how Elizabeth and Jane would be reacting to this little upstart. If things went well, he would hear about it and if they didn't then Wickham was out of his life for good. Either way, he would have no more dealings with the selfish man.

Later on that day, Fitzwilliam Darcy again visited the Milliners in Bond Street, this time to buy a Bonnet for Miss Darcy. Seeing a very fetching Bonnet, he bought it, and on the spur of the moment found out that there was a matching bonnet and bought that one too, intending it as a gift for Elizabeth. He also purchased a length of Cloth which his dressmaker would make into a fetching new dress for Georgiana, for his wedding. He didn't know if that wedding would, in fact, take place, but he knew now that he had tried, and that he had to start preparing for it. So he visited his solicitors and his tailors. At the tailor's he ordered a brand new suit. It was to be the finest suit that he would own, and it was to be the suit that he would wear on his wedding day. That finished off his last full day in town for a while, and as he returned home, he reflected with satisfaction that even if he didn't get married, he would still wear that suit for Bingley's wedding, which he now looked on with almost certainty. And so he slept with satisfaction, dreaming of the day when he would claim Elizabeth's hand in Marriage.

The next day he dined with the Gardiners and enjoyed the evening so much he was tempted not to return to Pemberley until the following day, but he had promised to be back with his guests as soon as he possibly could. He also wanted to see Georgiana's face when she saw her new bonnet so badly that he intended to go back to Pemberley that night. And so he did. He travelled through the night and reached Pemberley by nightfall the following day. The women were about to head to bed early for Mrs Hurst, and Miss Bingley was to go on to Scarborough within the week, and they made the excuse they wanted to be well rested for the rigours of a seaside town. The actual reason they went to bed early was that they didn't want to see Darcy. After what their Brother had said over the fan they both felt humiliated and frustrated. Miss Darcy met her Brother with joy and when he gave her the bonnet she was overjoyed. And hugged him so enthusiastically, he could only hope that he would get such an enthusiastic response when he gave the other presents that he had bought.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 26**

The next day in his library Darcy opened his writing case to refresh his ink and his writing paper, he noticed three letters that had been put in there during his illness. One of which was a letter from his Aunt written a few days before Miss Elizabeth Bennet was due to leave Rosings. He now opened it.

 _My Dear Nephew,_

 _I was sorry you seemed to take it so ill that you had to leave Rosings this year. I hope that you are feeling better now. Your Cousin is just desolate that you left. Anne always enjoys your visits. I look forward to the day that you join the two estates together. Miss Bennet and Miss Lucas are due to leave Rosings this week, and I am quite put out. They have to take the post up to London, where I believe she will spend a couple of nights with her sister before returning home. You know how attentive I am to these things, I almost thought you would take them that stretch you kept putting off your departure, and nearly left at the same time as they did. Miss Bennet the other night barely spoke two words together and seemed to be very much distracted. I think she didn't want to leave Rosings either. She should stay at the parsonage with her Cousin, but apparently, her father wrote to hurry her return and so she will be leaving on Friday as planned. Anne wishes to visit you in London during May. Please write and tell us where you shall be in May._

 _Lady Catherine De Bourg._

Setting this letter down, Darcy smiled. So she was thinking about me and my letter, then. Why else would she have been unusually quiet at Rosings, that even my Aunt noticed it? Could it be that she was suffering as much as I was? If not quite as much, then at least she was suffering some, and with all the other information I have maybe, just maybe there is some hope?! No, all hope must sink, under what she said, "You could not have addressed me in any way which would induce me to accept you."

Picking up the next letter it was a letter from Anne. How she managed to get a letter out without her mother knowing was a miracle given the way that woman controlled Anne, but she was resourceful and sometimes managed to get a letter out, and when she did, it was always to express something important.

 _My dear Fitzwilliam,_

 _Cousin, I heard from our cousin the Colonel, that you are ill. I am sorry to hear it. Am I right in thinking you made an unsuccessful bid for a particular young ladies hand? Servants have a way of talking, and apparently, the servants at the parsonage were listening at the door. Be careful my dear cousin, my mother will not approve this match, and was she to hear that you were in love with this young lady then we will both have hell to pay. I'll be told that it is my illness that has turned you away, and you'll be told how you are disgracing Pemberley and your late Parents memories. I personally am sorry for you. Miss Bennet is a charming woman, and even if she doesn't know it yet, I am sure she is in love with you. Is your illness physical or is it more to do with the mind, as the Colonel has told me that there are bouts of delirium. Mother must not know anything of any of this – especially not your keep calling for 'Elizabeth'. All the servants have been sworn to secrecy down here, and I have had to pay a couple of them handsomely to keep the news of your proposal from reaching my mother's ears. Please write back via our cousin the Colonel, as he knows how to get letters to me without my mother knowing. I wish I could wish you congratulations. However they I think will come later on._

 _Anne De Bourg._

 _P.s I am not in love with you and never was. Most of my illness was caused by mother's imagination._

The third letter was not so pleasant,

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy,_

 _I called at your house in London today and found the house in bedlam. I was informed that you were indisposed and could not take visitors, and then as I stood on the doorstep, I noticed servants running in every direction as if there was an invalid in the house. Get control of your house, and write me back the minute you read this. I am most seriously displeased!_

 _Lady Catherine De Bourg._

Ignoring both of Lady Catherine's letters, Fitzwilliam Darcy quickly pulled out a sheet of paper and penned this short note to his Cousin.

 _My Dear Anne,_

 _I am sorry for not having written back sooner, but your letter was placed in my writing case during my illness, and I have only just found it, it seems that I am still catching up with my private correspondence. I was ill, and yes it was as much an affliction of the mind as of the body. Somehow I think due to the shock of my proposal being rejected, as you heard, I was more susceptible to a physical illness, and the months that I was ill, I will not tell you all the details of my illness. Nor will I bore you with details of the rejection. However, during my illness, I was also going over various things in my mind to do with my acquaintance with Miss Bennet. This I think inflamed my illness. Thank you for your assurances that you are not in love with me, it removes the last shreds of any feelings of guilt that I felt to do with your mother's wishes for our marriage. Please accept my assurances that I wish you happy and to have a good marriage. If I can, I will win Miss Bennet's hand, but it is not by any means a definite thing._

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy._

Laying down his pen, Darcy realised how many unfinished letters there were in his library at Pemberley, and his library in town, and his writing case. All to the same person, and there was the rough draft for the letter that he gave to Miss Bennet that last morning he saw her in Kent. If these letters were put in his writing-case, did someone read those letters? Where are they? Suddenly and with a feverish, deliberation Fitzwilliam Darcy went to the secret compartment where he kept all his most private and intimate letters. He breathed half a sigh of relief when he realised that all his letters and half-finished letters were just where he had left them. He sorted his writing case out, then sent the letter to Ann via the Colonel as instructed, then taking out some of his rough drafts, and reading them he realised that every sentence sounded arrogant and full of pride just as he had been accused of. Taking them all he threw them on the fire in his library, and he then took out the rest of the unfinished letters and threw them on the fire as well.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 27**

The next morning Darcy overslept a little and instead of his valet waking him up, as usual, he was awoken by someone sitting on his bed rather too quickly and heavily. Before he was fully awake, he had uttered "Elizabeth", then realising that he was giving away his deepest secrets he was relieved to see that it was only Georgiana. However, Georgiana had in coming into his room noticed the band boxes that were sitting in his room awaiting him giving them to Georgiana and Elizabeth. She looked at him curiously and looked at the band boxes and said nothing. As he woke up, he opened his heart to Georgiana, and gave her one bonnet, and then told her that the second one was bought on impulse for Elizabeth along with a fan also purchased for Elizabeth that matched the one bought for Georgiana. Wisely he kept Georgiana ignorant of the part he had played in separating Bingley from Jane, and therefore did not tell her of the present for Jane as well. Looking at Georgiana, he realised how much of a woman she had come, and also was again reminded that it was time for Georgiana to enter into Society. He was happy though that the business with Wickham had been so quickly and easily dealt with, and now he hoped that Miss Elizabeth was now was now laughing in that light manner that she was wont to do. Georgiana was on the brink of leaving behind childhood, and he had to work out how to work out her coming out and his winning Elizabeth's hand in marriage together. He decided that it would work out very well if he planned things further visiting Netherfield with Bingley. He would see if Jane was still in love with Bingley, and whether he could hope to win Miss Elizabeth's hand.

Pushing Georgiana off the bed Darcy was about to get up when he rather pulled on the bell and ordered that his and Miss Georgiana's breakfasts should be brought up to his room. Looking at him strangely Georgiana asked, "Are you ill Fitzwilliam?"

"No I am perfectly well" he replied.

"So why the breakfast up here?"

"Because I want to talk to you without anyone else around."

"Sounds serious."

"It is serious."

"Now you are teasing me."

"Not at all! You are growing up, and I wanted to talk to you about the fact you are growing up. Georgiana, it is time you left the school room and entered into the world of society, morning visits, and finding a husband."

"Oh, this is serious!" Georgiana panicked

"Are you ready to come out this season?"

"If you think I'm ready then I think I must be."

"But how do you feel about it?" Darcy wanted his sister to be comfortable, but at the same time, he knew that if it were left much later then, his sister would be so determinedly shy that she would not survive the rigorous demands that society would make on her.

"Nervous I suppose, but excited as well."

Darcy smiled and said, "Then all things going to plan you shall be presented at St James' this season." He thought that his sister would enter the marriage market as he took himself off it. "However would you stay at Pemberley until I send for you in London? It might well be until Christmas you have to stay."

"I'll stay here for as long as you like. You, I know, are going down to Hertfordshire for more than shooting."

"Ok, now you'll have to wait quietly because I am going back to sleep for a bit before breakfast arrives." And so saying he turned his back on her and started snoring in sleep. So much lack of sleep had caught up with him. Georgiana waited quietly in the chair next to his bed and listened to his snoring, suddenly she was arrested by his talking – at first, she thought that he was talking to her, but his back was still turned. "I love you" He mumbled, and then later on he laughed and said, "You see Elizabeth I am not as badly behaved as I was when you met me." Georgiana realised that she was now hearing more of what was in his heart. It was now she realised that his illness in May was more than just a physical illness. It was a sickness brought on by a severe anguish of mind, a distress of mind that though he had reason to think things might be taking a better turn, it was in fact still there in his mind, ever waiting to come back to the front of his mind.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 28**

Breakfast arrived and still Darcy had not woken up. Georgiana gently ventured to wake up her brother and told him that Breakfast had come. Darcy sat up in bed, and quietly he and his sister breakfasted together, and then after that Miss Darcy left her brother wondering if he would get up at all that day. He, on the other hand, decided to go back to sleep and catch up on all that lost sleep he had with all those trips from London to Pemberley. It was late in the day that Darcy finally made his appearance in the saloon, the day being a dull wet day, Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley found themselves without an excuse to leave the room. So instead they sat to one side whispering to each other. Mrs Hurst then stated, "Mr Darcy, Caroline and I have decided that we will leave for Scarborough early in the morning."

"Oh, that's early is it not?" Said Darcy surprised.

"Yes I'm sorry, but we have only brought forward our departure by a week."

"Ok, well I hope you have enjoyed your stay at Pemberley."

"Of course, we always enjoy our stay at Pemberley." Mrs Hurst smiled insincerely, and Miss Bingley said nothing at all.

Darcy said everything that civility required of him to say, but inwardly he was pleased. His sister would no longer be burdened with making pathetic small talk with women who were so insincere that it was patently obvious they cared for nothing and no one but themselves. He then took up a book and then realised that it was the book he had been reading at Netherfield and though on Saturday, he had scarcely said ten words to Miss Elizabeth, he had only been deceiving himself that he was reading his book. His thoughts had been entirely on the fact that Miss Elizabeth was leaving Netherfield and that he deep down had not wanted her to go. He had to backtrack all the way to the last paragraph that he had read the day before that when Elizabeth and Miss Bingley had been walking the sitting room at Netherfield and Elizabeth had turned around and teased him in return for his impertinent comment about their walking together. He smiled at the recollection, and then read on in his book.

"Mr Darcy, what book are you reading?" the voice was Miss Bingley's, and Darcy realised that she was not going to give up just yet. He maintained a steady silence and kept on reading.

"Is it the same one that you were reading when we were at Netherfield last year?" Still Silence.

Miss Bingley gave up she could see that he was in a contemplative mood and then made a request to Miss Darcy once more for the card table. Miss Darcy willingly acquiesced, and the rest of the party moved over to play at commerce until dinner, and after dinner, Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley retired to their room to pack and go to bed early. Upon retiring for the night, Mr Hurst unwillingly said that he would not be joining the shooting party, but would rather be going with his wife and sister in law to Scarborough. Hurst suspected that being with two men who would be paying their respects and offering their hands in marriage would only remind him of that which he had hoped for when he offered his hand to his wife, hopes that he had soon found to be dashed. Both Darcy and Bingley objected and said that they were expecting him to come with them, but he was firm and clear that it was not to be. Mr Hurst insisted and soon the men wished him well, and Mr Hurst disappeared off soon to join his wife and to have an early bed.

Mr Bingley and Darcy waited another three weeks from the others going to Scarborough to their travelling down into Hertfordshire, and to Netherfield. On the way, Darcy and Mr Bingley chatted about mundane things, all the while both thinking about one of the ladies at Longbourn. Darcy was particularly conscious that in his trunk was still sitting the presents for Elizabeth and Jane. The first day back they both went shooting. However, Darcy was so distracted that he barely hit anything and was so wildly off target a few times that he felt himself to be a danger and quickly gave up and returned to the house. The next day Mr Bingley went out without him, and Darcy entertained himself with a book. However he soon found that reading wouldn't do either, and soon found himself walking the house.

Every room seemed to have memories, and ghosts of happier times. Returning to the sitting room, he remembered those few days when Jane was ill, and Elizabeth had stayed in the house. Those few days they seemed like a lifetime ago, natural, happy, and although he was teased more than usual, he found on reflection that it had not been unpleasant just something he was not used to. Walking into the rooms that had been cleared for the ball, Darcy could hear the music and see Elizabeth as she danced with him. Something stirred in him and ached as he realised that it had been ten months ago, and he had not danced with anyone since. For the briefest of minutes, he wondered when the next ball at Meryton was going to be held, just so as he could dance with Elizabeth again.

The Meryton Assembly did not conjure up very good memories for Darcy. He had long since controlled the nausea that accompanied his thoughts of that evening, that night that laid the foundation of the miserable night last April. Darcy then tried to go to the billiard room and pass the day with billiards, but no sooner did he walk in then he remembered Elizabeth accidentally entering the billiard room instead of the drawing room. Sighing, it seemed that every room in this house had memories of Elizabeth, and yet she had only been there for four days, plus the evening of the ball – yet his every memory of this house seemed to be memories of Elizabeth. Darcy felt empty as he went from room to room.

He realised now the depth of his love for Elizabeth and for how long he had gone without admitting it to himself or anyone else, for he now realised that that house had been empty for him ever since Elizabeth and Jane had left after Jane's illness. Eventually, Darcy sat in his bedroom and contented himself with composing yet another letter that he would never send. Yet another letter to let loose his feelings for Elizabeth. Letter after letter he would start, and not finish and then file and not send.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 29**

 **No legacy is so rich as honesty. All's well that ends well Act 3 scene 5. William Shakespeare.**

The day passed slowly but eventually, Darcy was summoned to Dinner, and the moment he walked into the dining room was greeted with the following comment from Mr Bingley. "I am planning a visit over to Longbourn in the morning" This was music to Darcy's ears, for he knew that until that visit was made he would not settle down to anything else.

"I will join you if you don't mind" Stated Darcy.

"Of course, I expected you to say so." Answered Mr Bingley

"I wonder, though, that Mr Lucas has already visited, we haven't seen Mr Bennet yet" Said Darcy.

"Hardly surprising given the way I treated Miss Bennet, to tell the truth, I'm not entirely sanguine that we will be very welcome when we get there." Said Bingley.

"You will be welcome, Mrs Bennet will once more be hoping for your five thousand a year for her daughter."

"You make it sound like she cares for nothing but my money!"

"That's all any of the mothers think about for their daughters."

"Surely they want their daughters to be happy, and in love."

"You talk about love as if it were the only thing to be considered, you always have."

"Surely you should know that a strong and genuine affection is not always the most sensible thing in the world," Bingley argued thinking of Darcy's love for Elizabeth. "Besides if it were mere money that she was after why does she not buzz around you for your ten thousand a year?"

"I never encouraged her."

"Oh..." Mr Bingley thought that a reproof for his behaviour last autumn...

"I mean only that I never really socialised with any of them," Darcy said, and then went on to say "Bingley, I behaved very badly last autumn and must have embarrassed you terribly – please accept my apologies."

"Where did that come from?" To be embarrassed about his friend had never crossed the mind of Mr Bingley.

"Well..." Darcy looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, admitting that he was wrong was bad enough, but to recognise that it was a lady that had caused him to see the error of his behaviour was beyond what he was willing to admit. "An acquaintance of mine in Kent made me see the error of my ways." Darcy hoped Mr Bingley would leave it at that, for if asked what acquaintance in Kent he would be forced to tell an untruth... Something that was not part of his nature, and that he avoided as much as he possibly could.

"Well... I wasn't embarrassed by you, so there is nothing to forgive" said Mr Bingley. "If I were to be embarrassed by those around me, then I would constantly have to be embarrassed about my own sisters."

"That maybe something you should be Bingley."

"Whatever do you mean?" Now Mr Bingley was completely astonished...

"You're sisters behave abominably! Caroline especially, I'm sorry, but they have no manners. The way they treated Elizabeth last year when she was a guest in your house was terrible, and her behaviour to me is only a fraction better. Bingley if Caroline carries on like that she'll end up an old spinster, because as poorly as I behaved last year – she managed to make me despise her, even then. She'll continue to do that to all the men she meets. Not to mention that, as a tradesman's daughter, she is below the Bennets in social standing, yet both she and her sister act as if they are Duchesses, the way they treat their betters."

"Yes... I see what you mean. I'm sorry Darcy. I'll see if I can do something about Caroline. Louisa though I can do nothing about now." As uncomfortable as Mr Bingley was he could see the justice of what his friend said.

"Mr Hurst will do something there I'm sure." The conversation moved onto other things, the running of estates, household management, etc. However, Darcy was uncomfortable thinking he had hurt his friend's feelings, and Mr Bingley was uncomfortable trying work out how to deal with his sister.

The next morning, after breakfast Mr Bingley and Darcy mounted their horses and set off. Mr Bingley although obviously nervous, had an air of quiet contentment. Darcy, on the other hand, was uncomfortable and could only think of Elizabeth, and only two thoughts going through his mind: Was she happy now that her sister was married and did she think enough of him to now agree to marry him? However, these considerations must be put aside for he would watch Miss Bennet and see if she was in love with Mr Bingley. If she was then, he must make the confession to Mr Bingley about what he did last winter. Once more Darcy felt overwhelmed with the realisation of how very badly he had behaved. Fortunately, he did not have long to think about it because they were now arriving at Longbourn.

The servants met them as they descended from their horses, and Darcy was pleased to see that Mr Bennet's fortune was enough to keep a decent amount of servants, even though it was entailed away from the young ladies. After entering the small hallway Mr Bingley and Darcy were very quickly introduced and shown through to the morning room, where Mrs Bennet was effusive with her welcome of Mr Bingley and coldly civil to Darcy.

Exactly what I expected then, thought Darcy, she has not learnt to be any more sensible or polite, despite what that vile man has done to her family. Jane Bennet though does seem to still be partial to Bingley. I must put that one right. Elizabeth welcomed both him and Mr Bingley civilly enough and then appeared to be very intent on her work – more intent on her work than I remember her being at Netherfield maybe there were too many distractions at Netherfield. Maybe I was a distraction back then- it was after all before she came under his spell. Darcy was lost in his thoughts and just kept his eyes off Elizabeth as much as he could so as to see what Miss Bennet's feelings were for his friend. This necessitated him being intent on the floor sometimes as he composed his mind, for many times he would think maybe Elizabeth regularly sat here. Was this Elizabeth's favourite room? Did she frequently walk around the grounds? A mark on the wall, was that Elizabeth's or one of the other girls from their growing up years? Indeed, this being the first time Darcy had been in this room, he found himself so overwhelmed that he didn't know how to get his emotions under control. He asked about the Gardiners and received a tolerable reply from Elizabeth although she seemed confused. She then asked about his sister and he replied tolerably. Georgiana must come down and renew her intimacy with Elizabeth.

Mrs Bennet's voice now broke in with a very unpleasant reminder of why he had behaved so badly last autumn, although oddly now he came to think about it there was much that Miss Bingley had in common with Mrs Bennet, beyond the fact that they were both tradesmen's daughters. Both She and Miss Bingley thought that it was only their own opinions that mattered, both thought themselves to be superior to those around them, and both women expressed themselves in a vulgar and obtrusive manner. Mrs Bennet was superior to Miss Bingley in that she despite her love of gossip and wanting to forward her daughter's chances in matrimony, she was not mean spirited and was the consummate hostess. Yes, Miss Bingley could learn a thing or two from Mrs Bennet. In fact, if Miss Bingley continued on as she was and became an old maid then maybe Mrs Bennet would be a good choice of companion should she lose her husband and her home...

"It is a long time, Mr Bingley since you went away" Although his friend agreed it was Darcy was unaware of how he looked or how any of the girls looked for he was looking down at the floor at the time. "I began to be afraid you would never come back again." perhaps that would have been better than putting up with your ill-breeding Thought Darcy, sourly. "People did say you meant to quit the place entirely at Michaelmas, but I hope it is not true. A large number of changes have happened in the neighbourhood since you went away. Miss Lucas is married and settled. And one of my own daughters. I suppose you have heard of it; indeed you must have seen it in the papers. It was in The TiHmes and the Courier, I know; though it was not put in as it ought to be. It only said 'Lately George Wickham, Esq., to Miss Lydia Bennet' without there being a syllable said of her father or the place she lived, or anything. It was my brother Gardiners drawing up too, and I wonder how he came to make such an awkward business of it. Did you see it?" You ungrateful woman! Thankfully your brother has kept my secret of being involved. I put that announcement in the two papers, and you were lucky that their marriage had that much recognition from anybody! And so it was with difficulty Darcy could keep his anger off his face, only years of feigning disinterestedness could keep his countenance here, if not for his love of Elizabeth he would regret the part he had played in restoring Lydia to respectability. Mr Bingley gave his congratulations and the Mother carried on the subject. Darcy sat wool-gathering throughout the rest of the conversation and could not have recounted a single word when they returned. In fact, the visit didn't last long after that, and though his eyes were frequently turned to the two eldest girls, he didn't manage to catch Miss Elizabeth's eye above an eighth of the times that he looked at her. The eldest Miss Bennet though had not eyes for anyone, but Mr Bingley and so didn't seem to notice how much Darcy had looked at her. Darcy did notice that she was Pale when they entered the room, but very soon had her beauty returned to what it had been last autumn. All this made Darcy feel all the more guilty about what he had done, for now, he began to see how truly and dreadfully wrong he had been, and how he had listened only to Miss Bingley, and Mrs Hurst's jealous comments.

Mr Bingley didn't say much on the way back to Netherfield, and then it wasn't until dinner that Darcy was in his company again. However, over dinner the conversation went in this way:

"So Darcy, you were back to your old self, today then?!"

"Hardly! I didn't have much to say."

"That's not stopped you before."

"I'd also forgotten how unpleasant Mrs Bennet is" Inwardly Darcy cringed when he said that as it reminded him of his old self.

"Yes... I know. If only I could see Jane without Mrs Bennet" Mr Bingley looked wishful.

"I know it's much more pleasant to see Elizabeth without her mother around." Observed Darcy

"You were definitely more animated and more entertaining at Pemberley, last month!" This brought a smile to Darcy's face. When he had gone to Pemberley, it was to forget Elizabeth and to complete his recovery from his recent illness. An illness that he hoped Elizabeth never found out about, and yet he didn't know what his sister or his cousin had written or said to anyone when he was ill. He wondered if Mr Bingley knew that he was sick last May, and then recollected that Mr Bingley had indeed been invited to stay in May, and Darcy now took the opportunity to find out.

"Bingley, I've just remembered you were supposed to come and visit in May – what did you do?"

"I received the letter from your sister that you were not going to be in London and that I should stay with my relations for a little longer, so I stayed with my cousin until we all went to Pemberley. Why do you ask?" Mr Bingley replied

"Oh, I just remembered that I let you down that was all" So Georgiana didn't mention that I was ill.

"On recollection when I saw you at Pemberley you seemed to have that look of a man who had just recovered from an illness" Said Mr Bingley

"Bingley I want to tell you something, but please do not laugh at me, nor do I want a bit of this to be told to Elizabeth so her sister Jane must not be told either!"

"All right, Darcy."

"Last may when you should have come to London, my sister was covering for me. I was in London, but I was in fact very ill. I had a dreadful cold, and believe from what I'm told I was also delirious." Confessed Darcy

"Why did Georgiana not say anything? I would have visited you anyway."

"That is precisely why she did not, besides Colonel Fitzwilliam was helping her to look after me."

"Well, I'm glad that you were recovered very well for our trip to Pemberley."

"So am I."

"Of course you are! You got to see Miss Elizabeth without their mother!"

"Yes, I'm sorry I've seen more of Miss Elizabeth this year than you have her sister."

Mr Bingley looked astonished, and then curious at Darcy. "Right, Darcy you've obviously got more secrets to reveal."

"I saw her in Kent as well when I went to visit my aunt."

"And what does that have to do with your illness, for if I'm not wrong, your illness was when you came back from Kent" Asked Bingley suspicious...

"She told me a few truths, hard to accept on the second last night I was there" Darcy hoped that his friend would not press the matter.

"Hmmm" Was all Mr Bingley said in reply. "Miss Bennet is an angel, is she not Darcy."

"She's certainly charming, although her beauty wasn't showing much when we first entered."

"You think? I hope she's not sick again."

"No Bingley, for by the time as you left she seemed to be improved in beauty, almost I might say what she was last autumn." Dinner being nearly over, Mr Bingley didn't reply, and the conversation was not revived through coffee nor the evening, for Darcy wrote once more to his sister, and Mr Bingley was thinking about everything that needed to be done on the Netherfield estate. There were a lot of repairs that were needed not in the house, but around the property, he would get his friends advice on it tomorrow.

The letter Darcy wrote was as follows:

Dearest Georgiana

I hope you are well. Mr Bingley and I are now settled at Netherfield. The house feels empty, but that I am putting that down to the fact that I didn't feel comfortable here at any time, except for those few days that Miss Elizabeth spent here last Autumn when her sister was ill. We saw Miss Elizabeth and her family today. I am afraid I did not acquit myself very well, for I was not seated near enough to Miss Elizabeth to talk to her and I was in no mood to talk to anyone else. We are engaged at the Bennet's to dine with them on Tuesday evening. I am writing to propose though that you meet me in town on Friday. For I am anxious to see you. Will that make you happy Georgiana? I am missing your society. There are only two women in the world that I wish to have the society of. You and Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You seem to be the only person who does not tease me about Miss Elizabeth.

Please come to London next week I don't know what to make of Miss Elizabeth's behaviour, and I need an impartial opinion.

Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Ps could you bring the band box from my room with you when you come to London?

Events though were to play into Darcy's hands, and Georgiana's opinion would not be needed. At this moment Darcy did not know that. What he did know is that he was going to leave things to take their course as far as his friend was concerned and that if Mr Bingley had his way, then the eldest Miss Bennet would very soon be the next Mrs Bingley. Darcy also knew that if Elizabeth did not become Mrs Darcy, something that he was so very unsure of happening, he could not cope with his friend's joy. Therefore once he was sure of his friend's happiness, he would take himself out of the way.

"Darcy, I need you to ride the estate and help me tomorrow."

Darcy looked surprised "Oh, I thought you wanted this estate to be run by yourself without any help."

"Oh I've already taken notice of what needs to be done, but I need you to advise me as to how to do it without overspending."

"Use good quality materials, but not top of the range, and nothing over cheap otherwise you will have to redo it too quickly."

"Thank you, but will you ride the estate with me?"

"Yes, I will" Both Darcy and his horse needed the exercise, besides estate business would help Darcy to keep his thoughts away from Longbourn, and wondering if the thoughts of both the eldest Miss Bennet's were at Netherfield right then or if it was just the thoughts of Miss Jane Bennet. "Bingley, how about a game of billiards?"

"No thanks Darcy, I'm not in the mood for billiards." At this reply, Darcy took up a book and realised that it had taken him more than a year to finish the book that he was reading. Silently he berated himself for being so foolish as to let a woman interfere with his life, a life that he had been perfectly content in before he met her. The next few days both Mr Bingley and Darcy were engaged in so much estate business that that the days from Thursday to Tuesday passed quickly, even though both men had their thoughts more at Longbourn than on the business that they were engaged in. However, Tuesday came fast enough, and the two men were ready to leave for their dinner engagement a full hour before they needed to leave. This time Bingley passed in praising Miss Bennet, and in conjecturing if he might make an offer soon. These reflections, Darcy shared about Elizabeth but was yet not feeling secure enough to think that another offer would be accepted, so instead he just listened to his friend talk. At length, the carriage was ordered, and within a quarter of an hour, they were at Longbourne. Not having arrived much before the time for dinner, there was not much chance of conversation, and although Darcy longed to be placed next to Elizabeth, he found himself being requested by her mother to sit next to her. On reflection, he realised that if he were in a place where he could talk to Elizabeth, he would probably say too much in front of others. He longed for the intimacy of Pemberley, and to be at home with Elizabeth as his guest where he could order things in his own way so as his happiness could be secured to the best degree.

Being seated next to Mrs Bennet was not to his liking at all. Throughout the meal, she showed her ignorance and bad manners. However, Darcy was determined to be civil and attentive, and not the rude man he had been last year. He complimented the haunch of venison and the partridges which were indeed well done. He wondered why it was that everywhere he dined it was assumed that because he had ten thousand a year, he had French cooks and an appetite to match the Prince Regents, who by all accounts was the most disgusting glutton. However, he managed on those occasions to keep up appearances by keeping his portions down. He remembered twelve years ago when he had first entered Society. He had been invited to dine with one particular family and didn't realise that they had three courses planned. On the first course he ate normally, the second course arrived, and he managed to eat that, but when the third course arrived he still had to eat and reached the point of nearly throwing up. Somehow he had kept his food down and had learnt from that moment on to eat less than normal on the first and second course so as if there were a third course, he would be able to eat it. His father though when the ladies withdrew had openly made sport of his mistake, and then warned him that others would do the same thing, so he needed to learn to cope with it. Fortunately, Mrs Bennet had only planned two courses and had in fact managed to provide two of his favourite dishes in the first course, so he was content. Civilities were what Darcy contented himself with, and filled the void of conversation with openly looking at Elizabeth as much as he could and noticed that she too seemed to have a lack of discussion. The way that Mrs Bennet conducted herself towards him convinced Darcy that though Mr Wickham had so nearly ruined the whole Bennet family, Mrs Bennet still believed his lies and that Elizabeth had not betrayed his secret, even though it would have lessened Lydia's guilt in the affair. At turns in the evening, Darcy wanted to tell the fact that it was him who had saved her precious daughter from disgrace, but no that would put Elizabeth in a horrible position, but that woman kept running on about how proud she was of her 'married' daughter. A marriage which had taken place under such disgraceful circumstances that Darcy was ashamed to have had anything to do with it. However, it had restored Elizabeth to respectability, as well as Miss Bennet, that was his consolation. However with her as a future mother in law, and him as a future brother in law, Darcy found himself thinking that he hoped Elizabeth would not insist on seeing her family very often.

Mr Bingley and Jane Bennet seemed to be getting on very well. Darcy was so convinced that Mr Bingley would ask Miss Benet to ask him to marry him soon, it was all the more necessary for him to leave Netherfield for the next two weeks, and he was thankful that he had the society of his sister to look forward to. On considering it more, Darcy realised that he was jealous of the easy way in which Bingley and Jane were sorting their affairs out. Elizabeth too seemed to be watching Jane and Mr Bingley.

The ladies withdrew from the table, and the gentlemen sat around with their port and cigars. Darcy barely had any patience with the port and cigars, and no conversation as Mr Bingley was happily talking about Jane to anyone who would listen and it was in listening to the gentlemen that Darcy finally caught up with the news of all that had happened in the news while he was ill. He could not tell them he didn't know without revealing his illness, and he was not willing to let anyone know how ill he had been – besides no one needed to know. His silence was not unknown in Hertfordshire and therefore he was not pressed into the conversation. Eventually, the conversation dried up, and the gentlemen moved through to join the ladies. Immediately upon entering the drawing room Darcy looked for Elizabeth, but the ladies were all so crowded around the coffee table that he could do nothing but collect his coffee and move to another part of the room, all the while leaving his heart with her at her end of the room. Having drunk his coffee, Darcy returned his coffee cup to her himself.

"Is your sister at Pemberley still?" Elizabeth asked

"Yes she will remain there until Christmas" He replied. Unless she has received my letter and comes to London on Friday, I haven't had a response from her yet.

"And quite alone? Have all her friends left her?"

"Mrs Annesley is with her. The others have gone onto Scarborough these three weeks." A good thing too, I don't want her learning their bad manners or habits!

They lapsed into a companionable silence, and he would have stood by her side for the rest of the night if he could. There was so much he wanted to say but yet could not think of a single way to start the conversation. However the ladies started whispering to Elizabeth again, he thought it more dignified to walk away, and yet he did so with a turn of bad humour. The tea things would soon be removed, and before he could move over to talk to Miss Elizabeth, and join her on that side of the room at the game she would be playing her mother pulled him into forming her whist table. So with a degree of ill-humour. The mood that he thought Mr Bingley to be talking about last November when he said about his moods on a Sunday afternoon at home with nothing to do, that he sat down to a game of whist. He didn't want to play, and lost money he didn't want to lose, since he could not keep his mind on the cards long enough to make any sensible decisions, and lost nearly every hand. Mr and Mrs Bennet seemed to be the only two who were concentrating on the game. Mr Bingley also unusually lost virtually every hand, looking over to Jane so evidently that if he had not heard it at the table, Darcy would be sure that the expectation of his marriage would have started up again after this evening. Darcy though did not care, since he thought it more advantageous for both Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet's long term health and happiness to forward the match rather than separate them again. Elizabeth, it seemed Every time he looked over in her direction was also losing her hands, and it was a comfort to him that her father was making up the money of him that she was losing. Too soon the carriage arrived, and it was time to take his leave with his friend, regretting that he had not made better use of the opportunity that was afforded that night, except that he had noticed enough in Miss Elizabeth as to believe that she was not indifferent to him. Maybe perhaps, she thought better enough of him, that she could be prevailed on to accept him now? It would have to wait until he returned from town, though, as he was due to leave on Friday morning.

The next morning a letter arrived from his sister:

Dearest Fitzwilliam

Mrs Annesley has been preparing me for my coming out ball, and I am excited to think that I shall be coming out this season. I shall be arriving on Thursday to my establishment in town and have sent word forward that I will there. Please call the minute you arrive. Your band box has been put in with mine, so the servants will not suspect anything – remind me is it for Miss Elizabeth? I am happy to be an impartial witness although I am a bit confused as to why you do not ask Mr Bingley to be your eyes and ears. How is our cousin at Rosings, have you received another letter from her?

See you on Friday,

Georgiana.

Reading this letter from his sister Darcy smiled for he could not answer it now even if he wanted to as she would already be on the road to town, and he would see her in two days' time. Now it only remained for him to tell Mr Bingley the full truth of what was done by both his sisters and Darcy.

It was not until Thursday evening that Darcy found the courage to make his admission. However, he was determined that it should be done before he went to London. "Bingley, I have something to admit," He said while they relaxed by the fire.

"Darcy, you have been so strange this last year, I am beginning to wonder if I knew you at all."

"I'm sorry Bingley, and what I say will give you some pain. However, it has been such a constant source of pain and hurt to me that I must now make my confession, for tomorrow I will be going to town for ten days."

"Well if it is to give us both pain why do it?!"

"Because you need to know this, as it will all come out soon anyway."

"Go on Darcy"

"I'm afraid Bingley I've interfered in your affairs rather more than was politic or fair. I told you last autumn that Miss Bennet was indifferent to you. However I have since received information to the contrary also by my observations this past week, I have seen how ridiculous my interference was, for she certainly is not indifferent to you." Darcy paused this was only part of the confession, but before he could carry on Mr Bingley exploded

"Upon my word, Darcy, you really are a strange one! I knew that you had made a mistake!"

"Yes, I'm sorry Bingley, but there is more. You're sisters had agreed with me that Miss Bennet was indifferent to you, and last January, Miss Bingley received two letters and then a morning visit from Miss Bennet, that she was in town for three months to visit her aunt in Gracechurch Street. Your Sister told me that Miss Bennet was in town and as we could see that you still loved Miss Bennet, we agreed that you should not know. Your sister returned Miss Bennet's visit and from what I understand was so cold that Miss Bennet would not be expecting any more acquaintance between the families..."

"She had no right! You had no right! Why this is offensive behaviour! How dare you?!" Mr Bingley was so angry Darcy thought that he was about to be asked to leave that minute.

"I'm sorry Bingley, I have judged everything wrong this last year." Darcy felt as if it had been more than just a year and a half since Georgiana's intended elopement, and felt older than his eight and twenty years. Mr Bingley's anger though soon turned against his sisters, who he presumed had the greater share of the blame, as Darcy had been in love with Elizabeth, he would not have intentionally caused pain to his friend or Elizabeth's sister. However, he could not be so sanguine about his sisters and remembered Darcy's words only a week ago when he had said that Caroline Bingley had done enough to make him despise her, even before he had realised how badly he had behaved the last year.

"Darcy, are you sure she loves me?"

Darcy smiled and replied, "Yes Bingley, I have no doubt about it."

"Then I shall ask her to marry me as soon as may be."

"Can you wait until I am in London as I leave for London tomorrow?"

"Of course, it seems you want to escape my happiness."

"Perhaps I do, remember I am not in a position to be as sure that I can share in such happiness" Darcy wondered if he had ever covered his tracks as well as he had thought he did, or perhaps he really had changed a lot more than he realised

"So why don't you postpone your trip to London and come with me and ask Miss Elizabeth again?"

"I'm sorry Bingley, but I have to be in town on Friday, as I have instructed my sister to come down for a few days."

"Write and tell me all."

"I will, and you make sure that you get your fair bride to write your letter to me and say that you have made your proposal and that it has been accepted."

"Come now Darcy, you know I can write."

"So carelessly that no one can ever read your letters" This reminded both men of those four days that Miss Elizabeth spent at Netherfield when her sister was ill there. That second night when Elizabeth had in that light hearted teasing manner started dissecting Mr Bingley's character and Darcy's thoughts about it. Both men smiled...

"This reminds me of another conversation last November," Mr Bingley said.

"I was just thinking about that," Darcy said. "You know I actually for a brief amount of time forgot that she was more a guest than I am."

"You were already in love with her weren't you?"

"No, but I was halfway there."

"And how would you have felt if I had interfered in your affairs telling you that she was impartial to you and that you shouldn't be in love with her?"

"I'd definitely have been angry, but you might well have saved me from doing the stupid thing that I did last April" At this Darcy went pale, and was anxious to change the subject.

"Well..." This had not been the answer that Mr Bingley had been expecting "and what if I'd kept you away from her like you did myself and Jane?"

"I'd have been very upset, but given how little I depend on the opinions of others it probably would not have had the same effect that it had with you."

"Well I'll probably have forgiven you in the morning, but right now, do not expect me to forgive you."

"I'm glad to see you are angry."

"What does that mean?" Bingley felt very offended.

"Why that you are not quite as pliable and pushed about as I had thought you to be, and that you actually love Miss Bennet."

"Oh..."

"I'm very sorry Bingley, it was very wrong of me."

"Yes, it was!"

"I have no excuse to make you know, I was arrogant and mean."

"Yes you were, but never mind. My sisters, I believe were the principle instigators, and I must take Caroline in hand."

"She won't thank you for it."

"Good, it'll do her good for me not to give in to her."

"She always was spoilt."

"Yes she was", Mr Bingley then recollected that Darcy was to leave early in the morning. "Darcy I think you, had better head to bed you, need to get up early."

"Thank you, I shall, please let me say once again that I am sorry for my ungenerous part in all this."

"Think no more about it Darcy."

"Thank you, and good night" With that Darcy rose and had crossed the room before Mr Bingley replied.

"Good Night, Darcy. Take my regards to your sister tomorrow." Darcy then left the room and knew that once more he would not sleep. His mind was so full. Bingley, of course, had been angry, but Darcy had not expected the degree to which Bingley was upset, and it grieved Darcy to think that he had hurt his friend so badly. This last year had been so painful for him, and it looked right now as if the pain would not end yet.

The next morning Darcy rose early and was going to slip out of the house without talking to Mr Bingley, when entering the breakfast parlour for his early breakfast he found his friend already sitting in the breakfast room waiting for him. "I've been thinking about what has said last night Darcy, and I was not satisfied. You didn't know Jane like I did, and your interference was unasked and unwanted, but I know you wanted the best for me." Darcy's heart sank, knowing that his friend was thinking the best of him, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. "So by the by, I am come to wish you luck in seeking Miss Elizabeth's hand, shall I find out if there's a chance for you?"

"No Bingley, I do not wish you to do so. I want your happiness to be complete without worrying about mine." No more was said over breakfast, and Darcy hurried to his carriage before Mr Bingley started on about his hopes and wishes, for all night Darcy had tried to work Miss Elizabeth out, and had no success.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 30**

 **Loves quarrels oft in pleasing concord end. John Milton**

Upon arriving in London, Darcy found that his sister was not waiting at her little establishment, but was on the front step of his own London establishment, and hardly had his carriage come to a standstill but he was stepping out and embracing Georgiana. They then walked into his house and were chatting about Hertfordshire and Darcy's hopes for the future. The week passed in morning visits and visits to the bond street milliners, where Darcy had to restrain himself from buying, even more, presents for Miss Elizabeth, and Mrs Annesley teaching Miss Darcy all the appropriate modes of behaviour. Miss Darcy was charming and happy. The following Friday was to bring an alteration to Darcy's hopes and dreams. This was to come not in anything that Georgiana would say or do, but rather it came in the form of his Aunt, from Kent.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, my nephew!Where is He? I MUST see him!" He would know that voice and lack of breeding anywhere! His aunt had come and caught him at home. He sighed as he knew she would press Anne's claims once more and try to force him to bestow his hand on that pale, sickly girl. Something that ever since he was a child he had resolved NEVER to do.

"My dear Aunt," he said coming into the drawing room "Whatever brings you here?"

"I have heard a rumour of an alarming nature" She replied.

"Since when did you listen to the idle chit chat and gossip of others?" He knew it was a mistake as soon as it had left his lips. However, it was the truth.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, sit down and listen to me."

"That is all I ever seem to do with you, Aunt!" And so he did.

"I want to know, have you made an offer of marriage to Miss Elizabeth Bennet?"

"It is of little importance, but I did make her an offer once."

"Then she did not tell me the truth, you are engaged."

"No Aunt I am not engaged to Miss Elizabeth Bennet" This seemed to throw Lady Catherine for a minute.

"Are you telling me that she refused you?! That does not make sense. Especially given that she refused to give me the promise that I came here seeking from you, that you would never enter into engagement with Miss Bennet. Her very words were _I shall certainly never give it. I am not to be intimidated into anything so wholly unreasonable. Your Ladyship wants him to marry your daughter; but would my giving the wished-for promise make their marriage all the more probable?_ I found her totally unreasonable and now find that you have already once before offered your hand, have you both lost your minds?! What is this madness I find?" This made Darcy start fearing that some word had reached Lady Catherine after all about his illness in May. "Have you lost your mind, Darcy? How can you even think about polluting the woods of Pemberley with that woman? A woman whose family is the most vulgar and disreputable. I know all about her youngest sister's elopement with the son of your father's steward. I know it all!" _No, you don't! If you did, you would be even more insupportable!_ "Darcy I must have an answer, Promise me that you will not make that poor, and vulgar woman mistress of Pemberley."

Darcy was now totally indignant "Madam I will always have the highest regard for you and my dear cousin. However you have now spoken your mind too forthrightly, and I am now seeing why I behaved so badly! I insulted my beloved Elizabeth so badly that she rejected me. You madam have been a constant source of embarrassment to me, and now you dare despise Elizabeth Bennet for what her sister did and how her mother behaves, but your behaviour is just as bad as her mother's! As for her sister's behaviour, as silly and vain as she was, I believe the root cause of her folly to lie entirely in George Wickham. Madam other young women have been so close to such despicable behaviour not because they were badly brought up, but that he preys on the young and vulnerable. Better women than Mrs Wickham have been deceived by Mr Wickham. If you insist on insulting Miss Elizabeth Bennet and her family, then I must request you to leave this house."

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, this is not to be borne. I have NEVER had such speech levelled at me. How dare you speak to me like that?!"

"Madam you are my Aunt, and therefore you are NOT at liberty to interfere in any of my affairs. I thank you for the information that she sensibly refused to consent, but truly my dear aunt, I do not believe that you even realised that I was ill when I left you last May."

"Darcy you were sick on my carpet, of course, I knew that you were ill. However, I came here to get a promise from you. Will you promise me that you will not enter into such an engagement?"

"No, my dear Aunt I will not promise any such thing!"

"Have you no regard for your Cousins feelings and hopes?! From your cradles, you were destined for each other!"

"Madam you have put those hopes into you daughters head. She is a pale, sickly creature which has NOTHING to offer a man of sense and understanding. From a child, I had formed the resolution in my mind that I would NEVER marry her."

"I am leaving. I am exceedingly angry Darcy, I do not know where all of your insolence has come from. Please do not think that you will be welcome at Rosings in future if you marry that woman."

"My dear Aunt, that is for my Cousin Anne to decide."

"I am the Mistress of Rosings yet!"

"No Madam you are the guardian of it until Ann marries or decides to take control of Rosings herself. Ann, it is to whom Rosings belongs." Lady Catherine seemed to diminish visibly in his sight as she was reminded that she actually had nothing, but her thirty thousand pound fortune, the same as Georgiana, that she could call her own. Lady Catherine kept Ann down, and purposefully forgot that she was the only guardian until Ann came of Age, and took control. However when Ann had come of Age she hadn't been told of the option of taking control, so she had left her mother in charge of Rosings Park, but now Darcy resolved to send Ann another letter. Lady Catherine swept out of the room and climbed angrily into her carriage without even saying goodbye to her Nephew.

Darcy felt like he was walking on air. _She refused to oblige my aunt, she might just take my hand in marriage._ It was with far greater pleasure now that he thought about the letter he had received from Bingley, announcing his engagement. As he had asked, Bingley had gotten Jane to write his letter for him and Darcy had the pleasure to see that Jane's hand had an easy flowing nature, but was not as even or neat as his own. He was about to reply to his friend's letter when he thought that he could surprise his friend by returning a day early having nothing to keep him in town beyond tonight. Georgiana would stay in town, after all, she didn't need to be his impartial eyes now, and his Aunt had given him all the information that he needed. He didn't know how the rumour of his attachment to Elizabeth had reached his aunt, but he didn't care at that moment.

Georgiana arrived soon afterwards, her intention being to spend the day with her brother. Darcy had retired to his library, to try and settle his mind with a good book. Georgiana though would tax him about their Aunts visit, for she had seen the carriage leave as she arrived. "Fitzwilliam, I know that our Aunt does not visit you unless she wants you to marry Anne. However, something tells me that this visit was different." Started Georgiana.

"Yes, this visit was different" Sighed Darcy.

"What did she want?"

"Somehow, she has heard a rumour about me becoming engaged to Miss Elizabeth."

"Where would she hear that?"

"I don't know. I don't know any mutual acquaintances that could have told her anything."

"Well it doesn't matter – does it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it does. You see, Aunt wanted me to promise that I would not become engaged to Miss Elizabeth, and I couldn't oblige her. In fact, I threatened to throw her out of the house for insulting Elizabeth."

"Fitzwilliam, I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about it."

"Don't worry Georgie, for she brought news to me that she had already asked Elizabeth to give her the same promise, and she also refused to make such a pledge."

"That must make you happy."

"Ecstatic, I want to go down there tonight."

"Probably not a good idea. You're planned to go back tomorrow anyway – right?"

"Correct."

"Then, just wait and go back down tomorrow, let the opening come to you rather than rushing in."

"Thank you, Georgiana. I will." Georgiana stayed and listened to her brother tell her all his hopes and plans for the future. This gradually led to him telling her about the gradual change in his manners and how Elizabeth had said that he had behaved in a ungentlemanlike manner, and how he had come to see that their aunt was no better than Mrs Bennet. Georgian listened to her brother with patience, hoping only that his dreams and plans would come to fruition.

That night as Darcy went to bed he found though once again he was unable to sleep when eventually he went to bed. His head was so full of what his Aunt had told him, and then his own answers to his Aunt, he should not have abused her so severely, yet ever since his youngest days, had she tried to dominate every male of his acquaintance. His Father though only her brother in law had been in awe of such an opinionated woman. Lewis De Bourg was badgered for a long time, that he would provide for her better than her thirty thousand pounds. He'd had the last laugh in his will, by writing the clause that if anything happened to Ann, his whole estate would pass to Colonel Fitzwilliam, Ann's cousin. Thereby ensuring that Ann would be provided for, but that if anything happened to Anne, Lady Catherine would never get her hands on Rosings Park.

Thinking back to his childhood, all he had ever known was women that were such strong characters that the men in their lives were overshadowed. It was this early experience that Darcy now realised that his reserve had come from. He wanted desperately to shake this off, but every woman in his life had to some degree, or another dominated him and tried to make him think badly of either himself or those around him – especially those who were less well provided for. Servants were there for no other reason than to wait for them rather than having lives of their own. The poor were there only to make them feel better about the money they had, and to be given small amounts of charity and despised when that charity did not actually improve their lives dramatically.

Elizabeth was different. She had grown up a gentleman's daughter, and despite her mother's lack of breeding, treated everyone with respect. She indeed had taught him a hard lesson, but one that he thanked her for. That night at the parsonage, now no longer made him angry to think of it, except that George Wickham had deceived her into believing falsehoods about him, and he definitely no longer blamed her for refusing him, for although based on false premises she was true to what she believed. No, he felt almost tender, grateful even that she had opened his eyes, both to how he appeared to others, and that he was to think about others more and even learn to value their opinions. It had been a bitter pill to swallow. He had thought himself to be everything noble, and just, indeed his servants and tenants had never complained, but yet Miss Elizabeth had shown him just how badly his behaviour came across to those who didn't know him, and was inferior to him in birth and fortune. He was still learning, but he hoped at least that he had improved somewhat. He had blushed at his aunt's bad manners at Rosings, that day she had told Elizabeth Bennet in veiled but definite terms that she was not thought of as being higher than Mrs Jenkins – a governess or servant, as it was Mrs Jenkins Piano Forte that was offered to her for practising. Darcy had understood what Lady Catherine had meant, and he was sure that Miss Elizabeth had too, although she replied with dignity.

In April had Lady Catherine asked her for the same promise she asked this week, Elizabeth would surely have given it – after all, she said so many disapproving and terrible things about him to him, no doubt she would have told Lady Catherine how badly he behaved, but then again would she? She had the chance when teasing him with Colonel Fitzwilliam at Rosings, to repeat the ungracious words that Darcy had spoken at the ball, which he was sure she had overheard "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me. Bingley, I'm in no humour to give consequence to young ladies who have been slighted by other men." Once more as Darcy remembered those words, he felt all the shame attending to that night and since. He had been so alarmed at the thought of talking to a young woman he didn't know that he had come out with that almost before he had thought of the full impact of what his words might have. His alarm there had given way to shame. Only at the Rosings parsonage did he realise the full extent of the hurt that he had inadvertently inflicted at the ball in Meryton and afterwards. On reflection, it was ridiculous to say that he was giving consequence to ladies slighted by other men when there were not enough men to give partners to all the ladies in the first place, and the rules of decorum saying that you don't dance with the same lady more than twice. Therefore he really had been ridiculous that night. Once more Elizabeth's words from the Parsonage returned to afflict him had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. Oh, how he wished that he could redo that year over. Maybe it would have been possible to expose Wickham without exposing Georgiana, perhaps he should have written to Miss Elizabeth, when she had been asking him about Mr Wickham last November, rather than waiting until that night at the parsonage.

His letter, he wanted to rewrite in softer terms, still giving the same information, but without the cold, formal manner, and the bitterness that had underscored each line. But it was all too late; he could not change those things. Mr Bingley was now engaged to Miss Bennet. Miss Bingley had written a harsh letter to Darcy, asking him why he had allowed her Brother Charles to associate with Miss Bennet again, and especially why he had allowed Mr Bingley to become engaged to Miss Bennet. Darcy had chosen not to reply to her letter, rather he would take it down to Netherfield, and it would be the start of having Mr Bingley deal with his sister properly. Back to Lady Catherine, how could he make her understand how much he wanted Miss Elizabeth, and yet repair the damage of what he said last night? He was not going to apologise for the content, for every word he had said was the truth, and yet he should not have spoken that way to his aunt, and she was apparently affronted with his manner as much as the content. The more he thought about it all, the less he slept, and the less he slept, the more he thought about everything. Eventually, he decided to put it all out of his head and at length he slept, only to have his dreams full of all his nearest and dearest relations, and most especially of Miss Elizabeth.

Having determined not to travel on Saturday, Darcy when he woke and rose could think of nothing else to do with his time, and so it was that he surprised his friend returning to Netherfield in time for Dinner. Mr Bingley was in high spirits and talked non-stop about Miss Bennet and all her perfections, and how all his hopes for the future were indeed to come to fruition in a very short time. Darcy found that he had little need to say anything, and so his mind was completely disengaged and turned once more to Longbourn in such a state of hopeful happiness, that eventually when Mr Bingley had stopped talking about his own happiness, Darcy was able to find out when Bingley would next be at Longbourne. This, unfortunately, was not to be for a few days, as Engagements were now coming in from all the principle families of the area, to dine and to visit, and also the improvements on the estate now needed Bingley's attention. However, Mr Bingley informed his friend that he would be riding to Longbourn on Wednesday.

"Bingley I now need to talk to you very seriously about your sister."

"Darcy tell me what has she done now?"

"I received a letter from her the other day, in truth on Friday, which has disturbed me. I am not sure that I should show you, and yet if I do not, then I may end up writing something back that I will regret. It is your job and not mine to correct her." And so saying Darcy handed his friend the letter that he had recently received from Miss Bingley. Mr Bingley's features as he read the letter, which was so full of bad grace and ill manners, showed how angry he was. Mr Bingley asked Darcy to write for him, as his letters were always so poorly written and he wanted Caroline to be in no doubt of what he was saying. Darcy, therefore, sat down with his writing paper and pen, and with only a brief recollection of writing to his sister while Miss Elizabeth stayed at Netherfield, he waited for Mr Bingley's dictation. This is the Letter that he wrote on behalf of his friend.

 _My dear Caroline,_

 _Thank you for your concern about me. Please, would you return to Netherfield within the week, I earnestly desire to speak with you about the part that you have played in the interference in my affairs over the last year?_

 _Charles Bingley._

Darcy thought this to be too generous a letter for such grave misbehaviours. He let it go as his friend he knew had an easier temper than he had, and had Georgiana merited such reproofs and Miss Bingley now did, the poor girl would probably be frightened out of her wits by the letter which she would receive. The rest of the evening, however, passed off well enough with Darcy informing Mr Bingley about his business in London. Darcy then swore Mr Bingley to secrecy as to his being in the neighbourhood, for he wanted no intelligence to reach Miss Elizabeth's ear of his being back. He wanted to see how she reacted to seeing him, unexpected. Besides he didn't want to be going into an endless round of visiting, when all he wanted to do was see Miss Elizabeth and to bring about that happy conclusion to all his misery that he knew would come about.

The next day though as Mr Bingley went about visiting and dealing with Netherfield, Darcy sat down and tried to compose in his mind how a letter to Lady Catherine could be accomplished, and having no success contented himself now with writing to his Cousin Anne.

 _My Dearest Anne,_

 _By now you will have heard from your mother about what passed between us on Friday night. I am sorry if any of it has hurt you, I did not mean it to hurt you, only to show Lady Catherine that I had no intention even before I met Miss Elizabeth of going through with any marriage that she had planned for me. Please forgive me if I have pained you. However there is another matter, a matter of business that I write to you, and that is your inheritance of Rosings Park. When Sir Lewis died, Rosings Park went into a trust for you that you could take control when you came of age. Both Colonel Fitzwilliam and I knew this, although it was our Cousin Milton that was chief executor of your Father's estate, he being older than us by a full ten years. Please take control of your inheritance now! Feel free to ask either our cousins or me for advice on running the estate. Put your Mother in her place, for she is looking at Rosings as being her property and a place where she can tell who can and cannot stay at your home Whether or not Elizabeth and myself would be welcome given what I have said about yourself and etc., I fear we would not be. However, as I told your mother, it is you and not she who must decide on such matters. You, dear cousin, have all the advantages of birth and fortune, which would mean that you would by no means be without admirers in town, and if you were to put yourself out a bit, you would, in fact, be charming. I tell you these things as encouragement that you need to take your place as mistress of Rosings Park, that being your inheritance._

 _Thank you for keeping my secret. Although your Mother now knows of my unsuccessful proposal to Elizabeth from myself, she was rendered so exceedingly angry by other things I told her that I hope she has not been too severe upon you._

 _Please write back and inform me of the situation._

 _Your Cousin,_

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy._

This letter was in fact so hard for Darcy to write that he had written and burnt six copies of the letter before there was a copy he was happy to send, and so anxious was he that Anne should receive it promptly that he sent it straight out to catch the express, that very afternoon. Then after attending to the few bits of business that he needed to do at both his London establishment and Pemberley, he settled down once more with the book that he was reading. He was now making so tolerable a progress through his book that he hoped by the end of the week he would be starting the second volume. The end of the week, the thought of it made him smile, for he would see Elizabeth on Wednesday. He then laughed at how Miss Elizabeth would make sport of his not finishing his book, before now – except maybe she wouldn't laugh so much if she knew that he had been so ill last May. However he didn't want her to know he had been sick, so he settled it that he would definitely prefer the teasing. However, he had now three full days to entertain himself, that he would finish his book before going over to visit Miss Elizabeth on Wednesday.

So it was that Wednesday morning Darcy, and Mr Bingley rode over to Longbourne. When they strode into the morning room, the Ladies seemed to be at work, and Mrs Bennet looked like she was about to say something when Mr Bingley said: "This is a fine day, shall we all walk over towards Meryton?" It turned out the Mrs Bennet was not a great walker, _Unlike her daughter_ thought Darcy.

Mary wanted to stay home and work on her accomplishments. Catherine though walked out with her two older sisters and Darcy and Mr Bingley, Mr Bingley and Jane, however, lagged behind as they walked towards the Lucas's. Darcy hoped that Elizabeth would not make it a general visit as he wanted to be on his own with her, but did not quite have the courage to ask for it. Elizabeth though seemed to have similar thoughts, and when it came to turning down towards the house to visit with them, Catherine ended up running down the lane on her own.

This now gave Darcy the opening he wanted and was busy forming in his mind an opening when Elizabeth opened "Mr Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express." _How the hell did she find out about THAT! Please don't let her accept my hand simply out of gratitude, I couldn't bear it!_

If Darcy had expected her to say something it certainly was not this. And he could only reply with some confusion and emotion "I am sorry, exceedingly sorry, that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think Mrs Gardiner was so little to be trusted."

"You must not blame my aunt. Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest till I knew the particulars. Let me thank you, again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them." _Well, that makes me happy as Wickham won't have as great a confidante or companion as I will! He'll never have any secrets._ He silently triumphed.

"If you thank me, let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your _family_ owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of _you_." _I couldn't care less if the scandal had hurt your mother or younger sisters! I did it because I love you, and because I should have exposed Wickham years ago, or held the purse strings a little tighter…_ It was now time for him to ask her what his mind most earnestly wanted an answer to, and so after a short pause, he added with some trepidation, for hope had not yet made him secure "You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. _My_ affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever." _Although it won't quiet my heart,_ he thought.

Silence threatened to descend as he saw Miss Elizabeth try to recollect her thoughts and put them into words. Immediately she began "I once more wish to thank you for the honour of your proposal" _here it comes, after all, this she's STILL going to reject me_ "My own feelings since the time that you allude to have undergone so many shifts and reversals" _Can it be? Will she now say yes? Am I dreaming?_ "That it is with great pleasure that I accept your proposal" At that moment, it took every ounce of self-control that Darcy had not to immediately take her into his arms and kiss her passionately. However, the smile that spread across his face told all. "Dearest Elizabeth, I know it's been said before, but I really do feel that you've made me the happiest of men, just to hear those words from your lips, they make all the last few months, this last year all worth it." Darcy carried on in this vein for a few minutes, and then with Elizabeth taking his arm they walked on, without knowing in what direction, and without any attention to anything else.

"Perhaps Elizabeth you can tell me, how my aunt came to hear of a rumour that you and I were engaged?" Asked Darcy

"I too was wondering the same thing when Lady Catherine came to see me last week. However, my father received a letter from my Cousin Mr Collins, who answered that question. It seems that somewhere between Sir William and Lady Lucas and Mr Collins and his wife someone suspected you of being in love with me. With Jane and Mr Bingley getting engaged, it seems that there was an expectation of another marriage."

"After her visit to you, she visited me and asked for the same promise that you refused to give. Unfortunately, I told her very frankly a little bit more than I ought to have done what I thought of her and her daughter. It was the opposite of what she expected or wanted" he then blushed, "Has that now proved me to be everything you said last April?"

"No" she laughed, "for last April I thought you to be something that I have now found out that you are not"

"The thing about my Aunts visit was that it taught me to hope," said he, "as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolute, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly."

Elizabeth coloured and laughed as she replied, "Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations."

"What did you say to me, that I did not deserve? For, though your accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour to you at the time had merited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence."

"We will not quarrel for the greater share of blame annexed to that evening," said Elizabeth. "The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, will be irreproachable; but since then, we have both, I hope, improved in civility."

"I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, and my expressions during the whole of it, is now and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: "had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner." Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me; - though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice." At this, he thought again of those six weeks when he had been so ill, for in those moments when he was awake and lucid he had been tortured by that evening more than any other.

"I was certainly very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression. I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such a way."

"I can easily believe it. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me."

"Oh! Do not repeat what I then said. These recollections will not do at all. I assure you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of it."

"My letter, did it," said he, "did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?"

"Your letter. Oh dear, until I read your letter I don't think I truly knew myself. At first, I read it not wanting to credit anything, but I read it so voraciously that I hardly knew what I was reading. I was upset and angry at what you said about Jane and Mr Bingley – at first that is. However when I read what you wrote about Mr Wickham. I thought about the circumstances around his disclosure, and also about things he said and did. I began to see that it was you and not he that told things in their true light, and then I couldn't help myself re-reading over and over again your letter. I was such bad company for several days that even your aunt noticed my silence as my mind went over and over your letter."

"Yes, my Aunt wrote to me and told me that you had been silent, but you know my aunt, everything is about her and Ann, so she said that you didn't want to leave Rosings, which I knew would not be the case." Laughed Darcy

"Yes. So your letter eventually removed all my past prejudices and soon my heart naturally followed."

"I knew," said he, "that what I wrote must give you pain, but it was necessary. I hope you have destroyed the letter. There was one part especially, the opening of it, which I should dread you having the power of reading again. I can remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me."

"The letter shall certainly be burnt, if you believe it essential to the preservation of my regard; but, though we have both reason to think my opinions not entirely unalterable, they are not, I hope, quite so easily changed as that implies."

"When I wrote that letter," replied Darcy "I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit."

"The letter, perhaps, began in bitterness, but it did not end so. The adieu is charity itself. But think no more of the letter. The feelings of the person who wrote, and the person who received it, are now so widely different from what they were then, that every unpleasant circumstance attending it ought to be forgotten. You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."

"I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of innocence. But with me, it is not so. Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child, I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents. Who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing. To care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."

"Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?"

"Indeed I had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses." What a fool I was then, to have taken such an honourable woman like you for granted.

"My manners must have been in fault, but not intentionally, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you must have hated me after that evening?"

"Hate you! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction."

"I am almost afraid of asking what you thought of me when we met at Pemberley. You blamed me for coming?"

"No indeed; I felt nothing but surprise."

"Your surprise could not be greater than mine in being noticed by you. My conscience told me that I deserved no extraordinary politeness, and I confess that I did not expect to receive more than my due."

"My object then," replied Darcy, "was to shew you, by every civility in my power, that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to. How soon any other wishes introduced themselves, I can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after I had seen you.

"Georgiana was delighted at having met you, after hearing about you so much in my letters, and when she saw me. Although she was disappointed when you had to leave Pemberley so early and was soon asking me when you would meet again. I at the time sorely wanted to know the answer to that one. Yet could not give her an answer." This naturally leading to the cause of that interruption, she soon learnt that his resolution of following her from Derbyshire in quest of her sister had been formed before he quitted the inn and that his gravity and thoughtfulness there had arisen from no other struggles than what such a purpose must comprehend.

"Oh dear," She cried "How I have misunderstood you for so long. I thought you had been grave and silent because my sister's disgrace reflected poorly on me, and that you no longer wanted me, I was convinced I'd never see you again."

"That could never be! I wanted so badly to renew my addresses right there but found I couldn't take advantage of the situation like that" again she expressed her gratitude, but it was too painful a subject to each, to be dwelt on further.

After this they walked on, talking about how happy they were and were going to be, both the past and the future, walking several miles in a leisurely manner, yet not knowing anything about what they saw or where they had been. They found at last, on examining their watches, that it was time to be at home.

"What could have become of Mr Bingley and Jane!" was a wonder which introduced the discussion of their affairs. Darcy was delighted with their engagement and told Elizabeth so.

"I must ask whether you were surprised?" said Elizabeth.

"Not at all. When I went away, I knew it would soon happen." If you only knew how much he carried on at Netherfield, you would have known that it was a settled thing even before I went away.

"That is to say, you had given your permission. I guessed as much."

"Permission?! He doesn't need my Permission. Although he does depend on my opinion more than he ought, although I am not sure that is so much the case now, though, as on the evening before my going to London," said he, "I made a confession to him, which I believe I ought to have done long ago. I told him of all that had occurred to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent. His surprise was great. He had never had the slightest suspicion. I told him, moreover, that I believed myself mistaken in supposing, as I had done, that your sister was indifferent to him; and as I could easily perceive that his attachment to her was unabated, I felt no doubt of their happiness together." Elizabeth could not help smiling at this.

"Did you speak from your own observation," said she, "when you told him that my sister loved him, or merely from my information last spring?"

"From the former. I had narrowly observed your sister during the two visits which I had lately made here, and I was convinced of her affection."

"And your assurance of it, I suppose, carried immediate conviction to him."

"It did. Bingley is most unaffectedly modest. His diffidence had prevented his depending on his own judgment in so anxious a case, but his reliance on mine made everything easy. I was obliged to confess one thing, which for a time, and not unjustly, offended him. I could not allow myself to conceal that your sister had been in town three months last winter, that I had known it, and purposely kept it from him. He was angry. But his anger, I am persuaded, lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister's sentiments. He has heartily forgiven me now."

They now completed their walk by conjecturing about Mr Bingley's happiness which Darcy could not help saying was to be second only to his own, and in the hall, they parted.

However, they were greeted with the one question which made him tremble lest Elizabeth should let slip what they had agreed, for he had not yet asked her father's permission. "My dear Lizzy, where can you have been walking to?" Jane asked when Elizabeth entered the room, and then when they sat down to the table, everyone else asked. Elizabeth coloured as she said that they had wandered about until she was beyond her own knowledge. Darcy felt that he also blushed, remembering that their situation now was so different to when they had walked out of that house that morning, so much so that his sitting by her mother could be tolerated while he could remember her saying that it was with pleasure now that she agreed to be his wife. However no one seemed to suspect the truth, and for the rest of the evening, he had the time to reflect and smile and watch his friend and Elizabeth's sister, who would soon be his brother and sister in law. They were laughing and talking about all sorts of subjects, while he and Elizabeth were quiet. He thought that Elizabeth looked like she was trying to decide how her family would react to the , she looked happy, and Darcy contented himself with sitting near her and observing her, despite the lack of conversation. However, everything he longed to say could not be stated in that drawing room – not with her mother sitting so near as to hear every word. He was convinced she would be worse behaved at flaunting his wealth coming into the family than she about his friend's which was only half his own. No, the mother must not suspect anything and Elizabeth will sort it properly. However, he longed to be able to share the news with his best friend, who was never silent and never away from Miss Bennet's side while they remained in that house. So all he could do was sit silently and contemplate the time until Elizabeth would enter Pemberley as its Mistress.

When they eventually returned to Netherfield, Darcy could wait no longer, but turned to his friend and before they had even sat down he said: "Bingley you must now congratulate me, for I find that you and I are to be brothers."

Mr Bingley turned to Darcy incredulous, "Why Darcy Jane and I spoke of it, and she seemed to think it impossible, are you totally sure about this?"

"Absolutely! I asked Elizabeth while we were walking this morning and she told me that her emotions had turned around so much, that she accepted me now with great pleasure."

Mr Bingley then walked over and gave Darcy a hug, "Congratulations."

"And are you happy to have me as your brother?"

"Absolutely delighted, although I did think earlier this year that you and my sister were trying to make me your brother through means of another young lady, despite my disinclination towards her."

At this Darcy coloured and said "Well...Maybe we were, but I was a fool then." He especially felt foolish about that thinking how disinclined he had been towards his cousin who had been a match that had been forced on him. His sister should and will be given a chance to choose for herself, although he still reserved the right of advising her as to a proper choice, her heart must not be denied.

"Anyway, I am delighted."

Bingley and Darcy sat up half the night planning how Darcy could talk to Elizabeth and settle things so her father could be asked tomorrow evening. They also settled it between them that they were both to be the happiest of men. Neither of them would allow it that the other was to be happier than himself, so eventually they had to agree to be as happy as each other, and just before they went to bed Darcy said: "Of course you and Jane will come to us at Pemberley for Christmas?"

"As long as my dear Jane agrees, we will."

"Have you and Jane set the date yet?"

"Not yet, but I'm hoping that it will not be long until we do. To be honest, I don't really want to wait a long time, and you and Elizabeth?"

"I want to wait a long time even less than you do, this last year has been a torture for me." At this Mr Bingley merely laughed, and at last, the gentlemen thought it more right than desirable that they should go to bed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 31**

The next morning Bingley and Darcy arrived early at Longbourne. For a moment during the greetings, Bingley looked so expressively and was shaking hands with such warmth with Elizabeth, that Darcy thought that Bingley was going to give his secret away. However, Bingley was true to his word and only asked: "Mrs Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again to-day?"

"I advise Mr Darcy, and Lizzy and Kitty to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long walk and Mr Darcy has never seen the view." _No, Kitty is NOT allowed on this walk! I want Elizabeth to myself!_ Mrs Bennet seemed to be as agreed to Elizabeth walking with Darcy again as the gentleman himself could be. Bingley however soon sorted it that Kitty would not walk with Darcy and Elizabeth, and as soon as they were out of the house Elizabeth took his arm.

"Elizabeth, I've been thinking, and I want to get your father's permission tonight, and I do not want to wait a long time to take you to Pemberley as its new Mistress. So what do you say about marrying by the end of November?"

"My father's permission is the easy part. I do not expect that he will withhold his consent, but when Mr Collins letter arrived he teased me so much, because he still thinks that I don't like you, and he seems to think that you are indifferent, so he might well believe that you and I have been very sly."

"Oh dear, your father is not going to be happy, then." _This is not going at all how I thought it would. How do I get over this hurdle?_

"I think as long as he knows that this is not an overnight thing for either of us, he'll be alright."

"Shall I wait and ask his permission maybe next week, and maybe pay a little more attention to you publically then?" _I really cannot bear this! I need you Elizabeth, more than I have needed anything in my entire life._

"No, no" Laughed Elizabeth. "Please do ask him tonight, but make sure you tell him how long you have loved me, and then when I talk to him, I shall say how much I love you." _Hopefully, that should be alright then, the task you have just set is much easier than I feared it would be._

They walked on talking about the future. "I understand that you have seen around the public rooms of Pemberley, did you see anything that you would like to re-decorate? I know that some of our more stately rooms are reaching the point of needing new furniture."

"I wasn't looking at it as my future home, but no I didn't see anything that I wanted to redecorate Pemberley is beautiful and so well decorated if I were to do anything I fear it would only be to spoil it rather than enhance the beauty of that wonderful home." Replied Elizabeth.

"I want to show my London home, but can think of no reason to take you to town right now."

"Once you have my father's permission then we can start to plan an outing or maybe a London stay after that."

"Maybe you could stay at your Aunt and Uncle Gardiners for a couple of weeks next month."

"Do you have business there next month?"

"I can contrive to have, In winter there's always more business in town than I care for."

"It's also the season there is it not?"

"It's only just starting, and generally won't get going in earnest until December or January" Darcy smiled, and then said, "Elizabeth please say that you'll be happy to come back from Pemberley to town in January, Georgiana should have her coming out this season."

"My dear Fitzwilliam, I'll be happy just to be wherever you wish to be." Said Elizabeth.

When they reached the top of the Mount, Darcy got a mischievous look on his face and turned to Elizabeth. Elizabeth was a little surprised and waited for him to do whatever it was that he wanted to. He then reached into one of his coat pockets, and drew out a small rectangular box, and handed it to her. Written on it in his even handwriting "To my dearest Elizabeth, lots of love, Fitzwilliam."

Upon opening the box, she saw a beautiful seashell pink fan with her name engraved on it. She took it out of the box and opened it. The fan was made from the finest silk and was such a delicate weave that it shimmered and looked positively beautiful. She re-folded it and placed it back in the box, and then instead of just saying thank you, impulsively she turned her face up and planted a kiss on his lips. Surprised Darcy didn't know what he was doing before he had returned her kiss with one of his own, which was all that was passionate and hungry. Very quickly they both collected themselves, and decorum was restored. "Whatever would my mother say if she knew what was going on?!" Elizabeth laughed, "Lizzy, how can you behave so with that odious man?!" At that, Darcy laughed, and then seriously said "And when will you tell your mother that 'odious man' is to be her Son in law? Or perhaps that 'odious man' should ask her?"

"No, leave that to me. You know how badly my mother behaves; I don't think I could bear you to see either her effusions of joy or her effusion of disapprobation. She won't do herself credit either way. If you ask my father this evening and he agrees, then I'll ask my mother tonight when we go to bed."

"Ok, but you know that I shall be that 'odious man', tonight though"

"Of course, but promise me one thing?"

"What's that?"

"You won't be quite so quiet tonight after dinner."

"Well if talking to your Father does not take the whole evening I promise that I shall speak to you more." And so they continued on until they got back to the house, and he waited in the hall until she returned from her room putting her parasol away, and then they entered the drawing-room together. Jane and Mr Bingley were talking earnestly, and they called Elizabeth and Darcy over for a private tête-à-tête. Moving to the work table, Jane picked up some sewing, and Mr Bingley sat next to her, Darcy sat next to his friend and Elizabeth sat between Jane and Darcy. While the two girls pretended to sew, Mr Bingley said in low tones "Lizzy, Darcy, Jane and I were talking and we were thinking how about a double wedding?"

"I like the idea" Replied Darcy and Elizabeth together,

Jane immediately smiled at Mr Bingley, and Darcy gave Elizabeth a long loving look. Being just the four of them in the drawing room, for everyone else was off pursuing their own interests and accomplishments, Darcy took the chance of planting a quick Kiss on Elizabeth's lips. "Well, Darcy you certainly are becoming very bold!" Bingley teased.

"Why should I not be?" replied Darcy and both he and Elizabeth coloured. "After all, we all know I am marrying Elizabeth, besides it's just us here, right now."

"Perhaps it would be better not to be so bold though until it is generally known that you two are getting married." Said Jane quietly, a warning that was just in time, for at that moment, Kitty tentatively opened the door to the Drawing room and came in and her mother followed her soon. Within five minutes everyone was summoned to dinner, and Darcy placed himself by Elizabeth.

Dinner passed off quietly enough. Darcy and Elizabeth maintained a tolerable conversation. Mr Bennet kept the separation of the sexes to a minimum and within a quarter of an hour the gentlemen were back with the Bennet did not stay long but Withdrew to his library as soon as he could politely decamp. Darcy quietly rose and quietly followed him giving Lizzy and loving look just before he slipped through the parlour door.

Darcy knocked on the door of the Library "Come in" Mr Bennet called.

"Sir, I would appreciate a few minutes of your time if I may." Darcy started entering Mr Bennet's refuge.

"Certainly, come in and take a seat" The library, though not as vast as his own at Pemberley was liberally stocked and the titles of the books were such that they did justice to the sense of Mr Bennet, and reminded him very much of his own library in town. Darcy sat down, and then felt as nervous and agitated as he did in April, tonight would mark a change in his life if Mr Bennet agreed and gave his blessing then there was no turning back.

"Mr Bennet, I know that what I am about to say will surprise you – shock you even, but it cannot be helped. Ever since I met your Daughter Elizabeth, I have felt an interest in her that has grown into a very strong admiration and love. It is on this basis now that having asked Elizabeth to marry me, and she having accepted my hand, I now apply to yourself for your blessing and permission to marry your daughter." Throughout this short speech, Mr Bennet went from surprise to shock to looking worried.

"I'm sorry Mr Darcy, has not my Daughter always held a pointed dislike? How come I had not any inkling that you had any tolerable feelings towards my daughter?"

"I understand from what Elizabeth has said that my own manners were at fault, sir. I behaved very badly last time I was in Hertfordshire, for which I am most heartily sorry. However, You are correct that Elizabeth held a pointed dislike for me. For although I had lost my heart to her before I even quitted Hertfordshire last autumn, I was very conflicted and chose not to do anything about it. I again met Elizabeth in Kent and found my heart would not be denied, and so one night I visited her in the Huntsford parsonage and there, I first proposed to her in April, but she, correctly, refused me. I will not burden you with all my hopes and struggles. However, when I met her again at Pemberley in August my hopes again revived, but her time in Derbyshire was cut short. It was not until yesterday morning that I again applied for her hand. She assured me her feelings were the opposite to what they had been, and would now happily accept me. In fact, she looks jubilant. She is very dear to me Mr Bennet. I am sorry for not being as open in my attentions and intentions as my friend Mr Bingley and your daughter Jane. However, I have always been so reserved that it has been very hard for me to ever show what I was feeling or thinking."

"Well, well, if what you say is correct then yes you have my permission" Mr Benet then saw such a smile and flush of emotion cross Darcy's face that convinced Mr Benet that what he had said was correct. "and my blessing. However, I would ask you one thing."

"What would that be sir?"

"Please, could you send Elizabeth to talk to me, I wish to speak with her before things go any further."

"Thank you, sir, please could I ask you not to say anything until Elizabeth has spoken to her mother?" _I promised Elizabeth that she could tell her mother without me around, a promise I intend to keep._

"Of course Sir" With that Darcy quitted the library and returned to the drawing room, where Elizabeth and the others were sitting. He noticed that Elizabeth was working with Kitty at the table and that Mr Bingley and Jane were playing with her mother, at vingt-et-un. Darcy then moved over to the table where Elizabeth was working and pretended to admire her work, but whispered: "Go to your Father, he wants you in the Library". Oh, how he wanted to shout from the rooftop that Mr Bennet had consented and that he and Elizabeth were engaged. He felt like he was going to burst he was so jubilant. He sat down and had to wait anxiously until Elizabeth returned. Mrs Bennet ignored him, and Bingley was engaged with Miss Bennet, so having nothing else to do, his mind mulled over his conversation with Mr Bennet and also the events of the last two days. He was exceedingly anxious, would her father talk her out of accepting him? What was her father saying to Elizabeth? Half an hour passed, and Elizabeth was still not back, Mr Bingley started to talk about leaving, and eventually, Elizabeth returned and smiled so broadly at him. Instantly Darcy's anxieties calmed, and he knew all to be well. He could now be settled, secure and happy. Elizabeth is mine! He could not stop the smile that appeared on his face. Their open engagement was starting, he no longer had struggle against or hide how he was feeling. Unfortunately, Bingley now chose to go. Her mother was not yet informed, so he had to leave with his friend, and could not extend their time here, and so they moved towards the door. Eventually, he got to talk to Elizabeth and said in a very quiet voice "What did your Father say?"

In a voice, just as quiet she answered, "He was only concerned because he wasn't aware that we had any affection for each other." _A very reasonable concern._

"All's well then, you convinced him?"

"Yes, you?"

"I think so" and then leaning in close to Elizabeth to make sure that he was not overheard he said, "I love you, I'll see you tomorrow." Leaning in so close, the temptation to kiss her again was too much and staying only long enough to hear her reply "I love you too" he quickly moved back and then was gone to mount his horse and return to Netherfield with his friend.

The ride to Netherfield was a slow one, for darkness had fallen, and there was little light from the moon that night, and so the horses had to go slowly. However, they arrived back at Netherfield without mishap and soon were sitting in the saloon. "Well Darcy, your face tells me that her father gave his consent."

"Yes, he did." Darcy had not stopped grinning since Lizzy had returned to the Parlour.

"So when was it that you and Lizzy were thinking of setting the date?" asked Bingley

"Well, I did ask her to set it for before the end of November" Replied Darcy.

"Jane and I were thinking of early December. However I don't think Jane will mind bringing it forward slightly," Said Mr Bingley thoughtfully.

"Let's wait, and we can all talk about it together tomorrow."

"Of course, although you can bet your life that Lizzy and Jane are talking about it."

"Women always talk about such things more than we do," stated Darcy, although right now he could think of nothing better than discussing the topic, however being practical he knew it would be so much better to discuss it when all four of them were together.

"What about our suits, have you thought about what colour suit you want to be married in?"

"Not overly, although I do have a navy blue one ordered, from my tailor."

"Darcy you sly thing, you had it planned, and were very sure of her saying yes."

"I wanted her to agree to it very much! However, after April I was not sanguine of her acceptance until she finally agreed yesterday. I figured that if she didn't agree, then I could use the suit for something else if she didn't say yes." Bingley suspected that Darcy had told him everything, but it was of no consequence so let it go.

"Well Navy is a good colour, perhaps I should visit the tailor in London to order a navy one as well." Bingley nonchalantly threw the idea out.

"You'll have to go to London, for that."

"No doubt, but surely the two girls could be prevailed on to go with us, after all, their aunt and uncle are in London, they can stay with them."

"I said something similar to Elizabeth today. Besides, I am anxious to show her my London house. She's only seen the public parts of Pemberley…" Darcy's voice trailed off then as he imagined Elizabeth at Pemberley as the Mistress of Pemberley.

"I am sure you are. Jane will be coming over tomorrow to see how she wants to decorate the house. She has not been here much and now it is the time that she came and viewed the house as my bride." _Oh no! I am NOT going to be around here with Jane viewing her future home. This one Bingley you'll have to do on your own, I'll have my turn when we get to London and Pemberley. I do hope Lizzy does not want to redecorate my home too much, although goodness knows that both houses could do with a degree of redecoration. Most of the rooms haven't been decorated since mama did them before I was even born._

"Well, then I shall stay at Longbourne with Elizabeth." Said Darcy, who although he was happy had not the slightest wish of being around a woman who was viewing her future home unless that woman was Elizabeth, and he knew it would not be Elizabeth tomorrow.

"Caroline will not be happy! She decorated throughout when we moved here last year." Bingley's observation seemed to throw a pall over the room. It was as the very furniture cringed at the mention of the harpy who was Bingley's sister.

"You are not marrying to make your sister happy Bingley! Caroline will not be happy whatever happens. Why I believe, she is incapable of being happy." Darcy knew that this statement sounded harsh, however, the more he thought about Caroline Bingley's Behaviour and all her statements, the more convinced he was about it.

"Darcy, A year ago many would have said the same about you!" The glare that Darcy threw at Bingley was not missed "Come now! You know what I am talking about. You had not one single good word to say about any of Hertfordshire when you arrived."

A groan escaped Darcy, and his face took on such a tortured look that Bingley feared he had overstepped the mark. Instead, tears streamed down Darcy's face as he relived the anguish and torture of the last year. Bingley shifted in his chair, uncomfortable. _What an ass I was! I failed Georgiana spectacularly with Mrs Young and the whole Ramsgate debacle. I should not have come to Hertfordshire at the time I did. I was so worried about Georgiana, which combined with my natural awkwardness and reserve meant that I wasn't thinking right or behaving properly. I thought myself above the only woman worth pleasing. I insulted her, and I insulted her whole community. What did I do right? NOTHING! That's what! I cannot ask what was wrong with me as dearest Elizabeth, showed me exactly what was wrong! I had my priorities around the wrong way. I thought too highly of myself. I had too much of both pride and vanity, though I would not admit to being vain! Georgiana has not had a good example from me. The torture of this last year was all of my own making._ Darcy would have continued silently berating himself thus all night. He had not noticed the tears. It was as if the damn had burst and everything he kept so silently hidden from the world wanted to burst forth. Bingley interrupted Darcy's musings.

"Darcy, old man" Bingley wasn't sure exactly how to get Darcy talking, and silently wished that Darcy's cousin the Colonel was here as the Colonel always knew how to get Darcy talking. "You carry everything on your shoulders. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved."

"Bingley, I've been so fucking high in the instep this past year Bingley! You're better off not knowing."

Bingley had heard the men at the club swearing and knew that Darcy's cousin the Colonel would let rip when out of the hearing of Ladies, however, he was not used to hearing Darcy use such language, and knew now more than ever that Darcy had to talk. "Come on Darcy, it can't be that bad, it's obviously tearing you apart."

Darcy suddenly focused on Bingley and rounded ferociously on Bingley "You have no bloody idea! Of course not. Your sisters were all grown up when your father died. Not to mention that the highest expectations that had been placed on your shoulders were to marry above yourself, which you are doing nicely with Miss Bennet and to get an estate. Bingley, I've managed to fail in all my responsibilities and more this past year. Oh don't get me wrong, Pemberley has not suffered, but in the things that are important? Yes, I have buggered everything up! Oh, I wish that I could tell you the whole story of the debacle from Ramsgate, but that Is not my story to tell! Suffice to say that I should never have hired My sister previous companion! She turned out to be totally unsuitable! When I found out what did I do? I went to the whole situation like a bull in a china shop. I was the one who felt hurt and betrayed! Yes, I knew Who the principal sufferer was, and that was not me, but that did not stop my bloody mind making all about me!

Add onto that that I carried my bad mood from that over to when I came into Hertfordshire, and nearly completely alienated the whole of Hertfordshire through my own bloody arrogance mixed with shyness. I did not want to be bothered. I thought if I trusted anyone I would be the one to be betrayed again! I thought that by keeping the world at bay I would be safe and could once again be happy and that I could will my sister to be happy again also.

Oh yes, I had not one good word to say for anyone. I hid behind my emotions a mask of indifference, I didn't want to know anyone! When you tried to force me into dancing, I bloody panicked and just said the first ridiculous thing that came into my head. I carried on and thought I knew better than everyone. I misjudged your feelings and those of Miss Bennet, and hurt you both unforgivably. I hid even from you that I was falling in love with Elizabeth, I felt so threatened by it all. That Bitch I call Aunt in Kent, has been pressing me since I was a child to marry her milk-sop daughter and when I finally had enough and called her on it – I end up with fucking breach between us. My other Aunts and Uncles were pressing me to find some weak society Miss to marry, who would bring in a large bloody dowry. What did I do? I just continued on thinking I bloody well knew best! I asked no advice, I shared my problems with no one!

As for Wickham that bloody cad, whose pockets are always to let. I should have both cut him off and exposed him years ago! I should have prevented him being able to ruin so many girls. Now because of past mishandlings, we will both be related to that bloody leech! He and his trollop of a wife will take the piss if you bloody let them. Better you do what I have and ban him at least from your homes.

I thank my lucky stars for Elizabeth every day! She was the only one who brought me to Point Non-Plus! I would not have changed my behaviour if she hadn't. She was right to have refused me! I'm not so sure that she wouldn't still be bloody right to have refused me again!

I'm sorry Bingley, I have been such a bloody selfish bastard! I don't know why you have remained friends with me.

I love Elizabeth so much! However, I do not deserve her! How either you or she can forgive me, I do not know!"

During Darcy's tirade, Bingley had silently poured them a glass of scotch each and handed one to Darcy. Darcy now gulped down the amber liquid, grateful for the burn as it went down his throat. The smoothness of the amber liquid flowing down his throat helped to sooth Darcy's tortured brain.

"How much of what you've just shared does Elizabeth know?" Bingley asked.

"All of it and more. There are some small details that Elizabeth doesn't yet know, but yes, Elizabeth knows all of it."

"Then if you cannot tell me the details, as some if it as you've said you cannot, then talk to her! However, for the rest you have my unending support, you know that!"

So it was that Bingley and Darcy failed to go find their beds that night and instead found themselves having a long and overdue discussion, with Bingley bringing much of Darcy's frustrations and feelings of guilt into perspective.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 32**

As was becoming their habit Darcy and Bingley arrived before breakfast. During Breakfast Mr Bennet announced Elizabeth and Darcy's engagement, and after Breakfast Bingley took Jane and her mother back to Netherfield, which left Elizabeth and Darcy together. They repaired back to the parlour and sat down on the little love seat. Elizabeth looked as if she was about to tease him. However instead she looked harder at him. "You look tired."

"I am, my dear. Bingley and I were talking all night. Well, I was talking more than he was. Oh, dearest Elizabeth. I do not deserve you. This last year and a half I haven't confided in anyone except for the letter I wrote you. I was such a fool to think I could handle things on my own."

Elizabeth gently placed her finger on his lips to stop him talking. "You are not alone. You will never be alone again. My love, please do not torture yourself. You did not make the choices to do with Georgiana alone, and everybody makes mistakes, you could not have foreseen what would happen."

"NO, but I could have enlightened Georgiana as to the Cad's character! I could have cut Wickham off completely long before I did. I could have told my father what Wickham was doing rather than covering for him. There are so many ways I could have dealt with Wickham and exposed him. Long before he even had a chance to get near Georgiana!"

"What good would any of that do? What you did, you did because you have a kind heart. Please do not blame yourself for trying to help him, and protect those around you. How could you know what would happen?"

"Dearest Elizabeth. There is no excuse for my behaviour here in Hertfordshire last year."

Elizabeth grinned at Darcy "No, my love there is not! But… there is a way for you do penance…" Darcy was not sure that he liked the direction in which this conversation was heading.

"What would that be my love?"

"Why you must dance every dance at the next Meryton assembly of course." Elizabeth's laughter rang through the room lightening the mood.

"Only, if I may dance at least three of those dances with you!"

"Only three? Why you should be dancing them all with me" Elizabeth teased him, pretending to be offended that he had only asked for three dances.

"Ah, but I would willingly dance them all with you" Darcy then pulled Elizabeth into a fierce hug. This hug held all the pent up emotions of the year, and Darcy struggled once more to contain those emotions, which were threatening to overwhelm him again.

Elizabeth, though, would have none of his constant blaming himself and soon her natural playfulness was exerting itself. Darcy was not disappointed as she moved on to tax him about how he had fallen in love with her. This was something he could not point to time or place. And so she teased him on and on, until she suddenly fell serious and asked:

"Shall you have the courage to announce to Lady Catherine what is to befall her?"

Darcy asked for pen and paper so that the job might be done with alacrity, and they seated themselves at the table. Elizabeth placed the writing things out, and they now sat together to announce the news to both Lady Catherine, and the Gardiners. The two writing styles could not have been more different, hers was an almost playful interchange, while his was rather more sedate, as he knew it would only inflame the situation between him and his aunt, and hated that things had deteriorated to this point. Things would, unfortunately, get even worse when Lady Catherin replied.

 _My Dear Aunt Lady Catherine,_

 _I am sorry I did not thank you for your visit to London recently. Please allow me to do so now. It has been a source of regret to me that we parted on such acrimonious terms, and although I cannot repine the content of what I said, I do repine the manner in which I delivered it. My behaviour was unconscionable. Now as to the content of our recent tete a tete. I am much indebted to you for the information that you brought that Miss Elizabeth would not give you the promise you desired._

 _You madam brought that day information to me that removed my doubts and fears that a second offer of my hand would be rejected. So it is madam that I now write to you with the splendid news that I did two days ago offer my hand in marriage to Miss Elizabeth Bennet for the second time, and she has accepted me._

 _It is a mutual hope and desire that Elizabeth and I have that we shall be married before the year is out. You and my cousin Ann will be very welcome to attend the wedding, I will send the date when it is set._

 _I do not ask for your congratulations, for I know that you would not give them._

 _Thank you again for the part which you have played in this happy outcome, and please thank Mr and Mrs Collins for spreading that rumour, which brought you to see us both, and eventually gave me the hope and courage I so needed at that time to re-apply for Miss Elizabeth's hand._

 _Your ecstatic and Jubilant, Nephew,_

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy._

He was just re-checking his letter when Elizabeth looked up, "Do you mind if I invite Aunt and Uncle Gardiner to Pemberley for Christmas?"

"Not at all, let's make this a truly family Christmas I have already asked Bingley and Jane, let's invite your whole family."

"Does that include my notorious sister?" Elizabeth looked at him archly, and he knew she was teasing him.

"I will not have her husband there!" Darcy growled.

"I doubt we'll see either of them, for she is now an officer's wife, likely they will be engaged elsewhere at Christmas."

"No doubt" and with that, they left the conversation. Darcy took another piece of paper, and started writing the second letter,

 _My dearest sister Georgiana,_

 _I am completely ecstatic! No, the word does not do justice to my feelings. I am jubilant, I am wonderful, I am in love, and I'm getting Married! Yes, you read that correctly Elizabeth has done me the honour of accepting my hand in marriage. Your serious brother is over the moon! I cannot wait until my two favourite women are by my side at Pemberley! I love her so much Georgiana I cannot put it all into words._

 _I know you will be delighted with this news and with your new sister! Goodness, I guess that means you have five new sisters. Only one of which is coming to live with us! I am totally delighted that I can now send and say come to Netherfield at the beginning of November so as you and your new sister can get acquainted again before we marry._

 _I am hoping that we will be married by the end of November however we have not yet set the date. That is likely to happen, though, later on, today when we have spoken to Mr Bingley and Elizabeth's sister Jane, for we are planning to have a double wedding. Oh forgive your silly brother, I hope I mentioned before that Bingley and Jane are engaged. Never mind for you know. I hope it is not too much and that my dear Elizabeth will forgive me when I say that her mother is unchanged from the autumn. She seemed a little softened in her approach to me this morning – no doubt as a consequence of her being much gratified at her thinking Elizabeth will have my ten thousand a year, from the Pemberley estate. The woman has no conversation, and I am thankful that it is Elizabeth that I am marrying and not her family as well. I dread the thought of the day which marks Mr Bennet's passing as the estate being entailed Mrs Bennet will no doubt want to live with one of her daughters, maybe I can build her a dowagers cottage somewhere. All I can do is hope that maybe Mary will marry some silly gentleman who would not object to such a woman in his house. That day is a long way off, though, and maybe by then I will be more patient than I am now. I shall now sign off and ask Elizabeth to send a few words, before sealing the letter._

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy._

He then looked at his wife-to-be and asked her if she would like to send a few lines to his sister. "Indeed she will soon be your sister" at this they both smiled, and she took the letter, read what he had written and laughed "Why Darcy if I didn't know better I'd think that you still despised my family."

"Not at all, but it is the truth you have to admit that to be right about your mother."

"Of course it is, and I realise what you've written is correct. However, it would hurt my mother terribly were she to read it or be informed of it!" and with that, Elizabeth picked up the pen.

 _My dear Georgiana,_

 _I was sorry to have had our Derbyshire acquaintance interrupted, and would love to renew that acquaintance. I am now claiming all the liberties and congratulations of you of a sister and will wait to see you when you come in November. For as you know we are hoping to be married by the end of November, and I hope that you will join my sisters in being a bridesmaid, my eldest sister will, of course, be a be getting married at the same time. Please write back and let me know._

 _Elizabeth Bennet_

"Well Fitzwilliam I have written to your sister, and now if you please, we must seal these letters and get them to the post. Would you like to write anything to my Aunt and Uncle?"

"No, I think it best that they receive the news solely from your hand." Elizabeth was about to seal her letter with her own family seal, but Darcy sealed her letter using the Darcy seal. "We must order you a new seal, while we're in London."

"Thank you" The letters now sealed, all went to the post and a week later Darcy received. Georgiana's response. She had, in fact, responded the same day, she received Darcy's letter.

 _My dearest Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth,_

 _I send you both all the jubilations and congratulations in the world! I am so excited! This is truly the best news in the world. If I am to be a bridesmaid can I have a new dress, Fitzwilliam? Will I have to take part in the social side of the wedding? Oh never mind. My Brother is Getting Married! It's about time!_

 _I am so excited for you both I hardly know where to begin. Ok, deep breath, Fitzwilliam have you told our cousin the Colonel yet? Please let me be the one to tell him. When does the announcement go in the papers?_

 _I am so excited about having a sister, does this not mean that I have five sisters? Please, could I know more about my other four sisters? I would like to meet Kitty who I have heard is close to my age. Is Mary as awful on the Piano and singing as Fitzwilliam said? I do believe that perhaps his wanting to hear more of you Elizabeth may well have led him to think a little worse of Mary than he needed to. By all accounts, it seems she thinks more of her skills than they merit._

 _Elizabeth, I know that we will be good friends as well as sisters, and I am truly happy. Will I come and live at Pemberley with you, or will you want me to stay in my little London Establishment? I do not want to be in your way, but I am very excited that I will have a sister; nay I shall have five sisters. Elizabeth, may I sometimes ask you for advice? Mrs Annesley is very nice, but to be honest, she is not someone I could ask for help. Elizabeth I would love to be a bridesmaid for you._

 _Brother, I am glad that you did not marry my cousin Anne. Indeed I am also pleased you did not marry Miss Bingley who has wanted him, for as long as she has known him, I think. I am also happy to hear that Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet will be married on the same day, like you, for you are such close friends that it would seem almost wrong that one or other of you should be married first._

 _I know I've asked already but please Fitzwilliam can I have a new dress for the wedding? I should dearly love to have a new dress. Fitzwilliam you sounded euphoric in your letter and you know that makes me very happy. I am hardly able to make sense I am so glad you are getting married Fitzwilliam._

 _Oh dear Lady Catherine is exceedingly angry, I have already had one abusive letter from her, telling me how badly behaved you have been Fitzwilliam, I presume that another will be forthcoming, now that you have actually gone and done the very thing she wanted you both to promise not to. To tell the truth, I am not sure I dare open another letter from her. However, I am proud of you Fitzwilliam for standing up to her. Did you know that Anne has also started to stand up to her mother? Have you heard from her yet Fitzwilliam? Oh, I just know that your match is a match made in heaven, I am sure about it. Anne has also informed me that she is interested in another young gentleman, and has been for a while, but her mother had kept her away from looking at other gentlemen. Oh, this is such good news. After all that my Aunt tried to do to keep you apart. I am looking forward to our little family gatherings in Pemberley. Elizabeth, I hope you will correct me when my manners go wrong. I am sure that Mama would be triumphal to think you were in love with your bride Fitzwilliam._

 _Elizabeth, I hope we shall be able to love each other as sisters ought. I remembered last year, Fitzwilliam said something about you staying at Netherfield for five days, because your sister had fallen ill there, and that you walked all the way there. Is that true? Will you help me to walk better? I'm afraid I use the carriage too much. I am so excited because I am sure I shall enjoy having a sister. Oh dear, I hope you don't mind my calling you Elizabeth. I am just so happy that Fitzwilliam will marry the woman that he loves. My cousin is all very well, but she is so boring, and sickly she would not have suited my dear brother at all. My aunt will not like this at all. However, I think it's a good thing. My Aunt thinks too much of herself and what she wants. Congratulations Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth._

 _I do have one last request of you both, and I know that it is such a selfish thing to ask, but I have heard that Lydia is married to the man who would have ruined my own family. Pray may I avoid seeing him? And possibly her? I really cannot abide the thought of meeting them, especially if she is as wild as I have heard._

 _Your loving, over excited sister_

 _Georgiana Darcy._

All this and more did Georgiana send to her brother in congratulations and expectations.

It was not until another week had passed that he finally received a letter from Lady Catherine, which was not so gracious as Gerorgiana's.

 _Fitzwilliam Darcy!_

 _Having spoken to that headstrong woman I waited on you in London hoping to find you more reasonable! Darcy, and I was very upset to find that you had in fact become as headstrong as the young lady in question. She is inferior to you in birth, in manners and in every way. I have not one iota of sympathy for you when you find yourselves in a very unequal marriage. Elizabeth Bennet is an ungrateful young woman, for whom the calls of duty, decorum or gratitude have no call on her. Her person is not handsome, and her behaviour is impertinent, and I disapprove of this match. She is unfashionable, and I believe that you are making a huge mistake, by marrying a woman who is inferior in rank indeed in every way. How could you so pollute the woods of Pemberley as to be brother in law to your father's steward's son? Why her sister behaved as nothing better than a common street trollop! That young woman will bring you and your family name into the gutter, you mark my words, Darcy! Elizabeth Bennet is nothing better than a Lady-bird. She should have been your Mistress. Give her Carte-blanche, but you SHOULD NOT be marrying such a woman. I am ashamed of you! You Darcy are no nephew of mine if you can do such a thing. I send no congratulations, and I send no greeting to that woman. Neither of you deserves such attentions._

 _Lady Catherine De Bourg._

Darcy's response to Lady Catherine's missive was full of anger, and the breach between them became very close to being irreparable. Mr and Mrs Collins arrived at Lucas Lodge the same day. Elizabeth told him like this: "Darcy I will be going over to Lucas Lodge this morning, will you walk with me?"

"Of Course my love."

"Prepare yourself for something dreadful, though; Charlotte has arrived with her husband."

"You mean the ones who told my Aunt, and who told my aunt about what your sister did?"

"Yes that's who I am talking about" she laughed

"Well she is your friend, and we survived his company tolerably at Huntsford did we not?!"

"Yes, Fitzwilliam we did." And so saying they set off for Lucas Lodge. They got to the turn in the road where Kitty had left them on the day that they had become engaged. They remembered such fondly as they walked now down towards Lucas Lodge. Sir William was as pompous as usual when they arrived,

"So, Miss Lizzy, you and Mr Darcy are Engaged, then! Congratulations." Said Sir William as they entered the hallway

"Thank you, sir" Elizabeth replied, but this was not enough to stop Sir William carrying on.

"Well, well, Mr Darcy I hope you realise you're carrying off the brightest Jewel in the country."

"Thank you, sir, I agree she is truly beautiful" Replied Darcy,

"I hope to have the pleasure of meeting you both often at St James' and seeing you both dance there."

"Sorry Sir William, you forget that we will be in Derbyshire" Cut in Elizabeth. "Although I have come to see Charlotte, is she at home?"

"Yes, she's in the drawing room with her husband" Elizabeth felt Darcy tense up.

"Thank you" replied Elizabeth and she and Darcy moved into the drawing room with speed, but Sir William went with them.

Elizabeth and Charlotte were soon catching up and talking. And Darcy was then left to the two men. "Mr Darcy, I am very grateful that you have come to visit us, and I assure you that my dear Charlotte and I deeply appreciate all your visits you made to our home last April. " They were entirely for Elizabeth Darcy thought and smiled "However you managed to claim the hand of my fair cousin, and I am truly grateful to see that she and her eldest sister will not suffer from when their father dies, and I inherit Longbourn. I am, that is you must allow me to express how exceedingly angry your Aunt is about your engagement." You don't know the half of why she was angry "However I am pleased to report that She was in the best of health when we left her two nights ago. Are things with my cousin very settled, is there no way you could follow your Aunt's guidance?" Don't every dare to question my devotion for Elizabeth. I will allow this to slide once, but be careful you wretch! I have more influence than you could imagine.

"I am very glad to hear of my Aunt's health and what of my cousin Anne, how was she?" Darcy cut in knowing that Mr Collins speeches would go on all day if he let them, and Darcy was anxious to know that Anne was in health and not suffering from her mother's anger.

"I haven't seen much of your good cousin since your mother went to London sir. Your Cousin seems to have some business or something that keeps her in another part of the house, however, when I have caught sight of her, sir, she seems to be improving in health."

"Thank you" Smiled Darcy, so Georgiana's letter was correct Anne was beginning to take more on herself, and who was this young gentleman that Georgiana mentioned? Darcy wanted to ask so much about Rosings, and yet he would have to wait now for a letter from Anne. However, if Anne was busy with what Darcy thought she was, he realised that it may take some time for her to reply. He sighed contentedly. Mr Collins and Sir William could go on all day between them about Rosings, Lady Catherine, St James' and his carrying off the most beautiful woman in the county. Looking at Elizabeth he lapsed into a reverie about how loving and real his daughters would be to each other, so unlike Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley, or the other puffed up women of society he knew. When suddenly Mr Collins brought him back with a start. He was talking Sir William "Sir William, you, I am sure, remember how kind my dear Charlotte was bringing me to dine after my disappointment last November, well at the time, I thought that my fair cousin was teasing me wanting to make me love her better, which I didn't. However wouldn't you agree Sir William that it was a good thing for her that she did not accept me?" Sir William was at a loss of what to say as he had been unaware that Mr Collins had made an offer to Elizabeth last autumn, and put into a very difficult position. What do you say in a position like that?! It was Darcy that answered instead "Mr Collins, I did not know that you too had made an offer to Elizabeth. Tell me did she tell you off as she did me when I first asked her in April?"

At this, Mr Collins looked astonished. "My dear Sir you asked her in April, I have heard nothing of that! No Mr Darcy she did not tell me off, so much as just flatly refused and told me her feelings forbid it in every way." This information was so much consistent with what Darcy knew of Elizabeth, that he was willing to let it go at that, but Mr Collins was not so delicate. "However she did say something that now puzzles me exceedingly now that I know that you have made two proposals to her. She told me that she was not one those elegant females who would risk their happiness on being asked twice, I know not what to make of it." You really are a bloody imbecile! OF course, she is not one those silly coquettish women, for whom the next style of Dress or the pocket book of the man is important. That is precisely why I love her as much as I do. Not mention that I have never heard of a woman refusing a man simply to increase their love! It's completely nonsensical! You're nonsensical.

Darcy took a deep breath: "Mr Collins, simply it is this, Elizabeth refused me, and instead of accusing her of such deception, I believed her and explained a few things to her for she had certain opinions of me, based on false premises. Therefore I needed to believe her, and we both looked after our own business, I did not pursue her anymore until we met again by accident while she was on holiday, and I was able to renew the acquaintance without putting pressure on her." Stated Darcy Flatly, only just able to keep it civil, for if Mr Collins was saying this to him, what would he say to others, and worse, what had he or would he, say to Elizabeth herself? There wasn't any time to think about it though as Elizabeth invited Charlotte and Mr Collins to Dinner. Fortunately, though the Collins's were to follow on later on. Darcy and Elizabeth then made their excuses and left.

As soon as they were out of sight of the house, Darcy shuddered and shrugged his shoulders rather vehemently. Elizabeth seeing it, immediately said laughing "Well, Fitzwilliam Darcy what was that, you talking to my cousin and Sir William voluntarily?!"

"Not entirely voluntary, your cousin provoked me sorely! I didn't know that he had made an offer to you last autumn."

"Oh, so you've been told about that! The stupid man thought that just because Lady Catherine had told him to marry, he had to do so. If that was not bad enough, he made a comment about my lack of fortune, and the entail and was determined that he wanted to make us some amends inheriting Longbourne, and then imagined he felt something for me. I wouldn't be surprised if everything he says he feels for Charlotte is imaginary as well" Elizabeth answered seriously. More seriously than Darcy was used to and for a minute he couldn't talk, he felt so angry that Mr Collins could speak such to Elizabeth, and then remembered his own behaviour last April, and softened a little. HE really was not in a position to throw stones at another man when his own behaviour had been reprehensible. Elizabeth cut in "But it was of little concern to me for I had no intention of accepting him! I was so indifferent to him, that other than being angry at his mode of address, and his presuming that I would accept anything, I soon forgot all about the whole affair."

Darcy then turned towards her and hugged her, he suddenly felt as if he didn't want to let go of her. It also dawned on him that right from the start she was many things, but she was not indifferent to him, perhaps if had conducted himself better his Hunsford declaration would have had a different outcome. Oh, how much time he had wasted with his ridiculous struggles and mismanagement. Mr Wickham had imposed on her, and so had Mr Collins, his own cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam would have forgotten her lack of fortune had he been in her company for much longer, that Darcy was sure of. It seemed suddenly as if he had been blind. How had he missed that there were so many others who also wanted Elizabeth? How was it that he had convinced himself back in April that she was waiting for, even expecting his advances, when he was in the company of so many men of his own acquaintance who were struck with a fancy for her, so much so that he could have lost her to another. He was suddenly very thankful for her sense and not running after the money that any man had. He leant down into her hair and mumbled "Elizabeth, my Elizabeth" and could say no more, completely overwhelmed, he knew he was not worthy of her, a feeling that became his constant companion at Huntsford. She hugged him back and was wise enough to just let him hug her. The sound of carriage wheels brought Darcy out of his reverie and was surprised to see Mr Bingley and Jane coming along the road from Netherfield. They stopped next to Darcy and Elizabeth. "Well, what are you doing walking these here lanes again?" Cried Mr Bingley

"We've just been to see Charlotte and Mr Collins," Replied Elizabeth "and I invited them to dinner tonight."

"Well, then why don't you both join us as we were just returning to Longbourn?" Said Mr Bingley.

Darcy opened the Carriage door, and Elizabeth climbed in first and then Darcy jumped in afterwards. "Charlotte has agreed to stay until our wedding. However, she was not entirely sure as to how long Mr Collins would be able to stay, as Lady Catherine could request his return at any time." Stated Elizabeth to Jane and Mr Bingley.

"Lizzy that's good news. I've had a letter today, which I don't know what to make of. It was from Caroline Bingley. She says she wants to renew our acquaintance, but to be honest, I really don't want to. Lizzy am I being ungrateful? My dear Charles, can you forgive me?"

"Jane, I not only forgive you, but I also do not blame you in the least! My sister is the most false creature in the world I think. I regret that once she arrives at Netherfield, I m going to have to keep her there for the foreseeable future." Laughed Mr Bingley. Jane looked slightly horrified but said nothing. Darcy, on the other hand, was so much at ease that he was slightly reclining in the carriage on the way back to Longbourne. In fact, he had an idea forming in his head that now necessitated his return to London, to complete. Since his father's death, Darcy had used his father's carriage to go anywhere, and even his sister had her own little curricle, so his mother's carriage had sat at the London house, abandoned. Darcy now planned that his Mothers carriage would be fitted up ready for use, this would not take much, and so complete with four horses, he would give her carriage to his dearest Elizabeth. He wanted to talk to His future father in law as well about boosting both Elizabeth and Jane's marriage settlements for he knew that they would not get much from their Mother. So when the carriage stopped outside, Longbourne House Darcy barely had the patience to let assist Elizabeth out of the carriage, before almost running into the house. Leaving his hat and coat in the hall, as usual, he joined Mr Bennet in his library. The latter of which looked up in astonishment as he entered.

"Well Mr Darcy, I had thought you would want to spend every minute with Elizabeth." He said.

"Well, Mr Bennet it is about Elizabeth I wish to talk with you."

"You haven't changed your mind have you?!"

"Oh no! That I will never do!" Darcy was shocked and horrified at even the thought of it, and then seeing the amusement on Mr Bennet's face, he remembered that his Daughter shared her Fathers wit, and realised he'd fallen into yet another one of Mr Bennet's jokes and then relaxed and laughed. "I need to go to London, for I've decided to repair my mother's carriage, and give it to Elizabeth as a present. It should be ready in a few days. However, I was hoping that you and Elizabeth would come with me to London." He knew that her father was now aware of what he had done for her family in arranging Wickham and Lydia's marriage, and so went on to the second part of what he wanted to say without waiting for Mr Bennet's reply. "I also want to propose a small something else. As you know Mr Bingley and I have been close friends, so I am proposing as a wedding present for him and your daughter Jane that I would like to increase the settlement that you make on Jane, I would also like to increase Elizabeth's settlement. If you are agreeable, then I would propose that we use your brother Gardiners man in London to draw up the legal paperwork, as I am afraid I do not have confidence that Mr Phillips will keep it from his wife."

Mr Benet was surprised but had no real objection, so only said: "Well Mr Darcy, where do you think that Elizabeth and I will be staying in London?"

"Well I would like to say with me; however it might be more appropriate if you stay with your Brother and his wife if it is convenient for you to stay." Replied Darcy

"I will express a letter to him today to ask, and thank you, Mr Darcy, I accept your proposals. However, I would presume that horses come with the carriage? As you know I cannot always get my own horses for my carriage, they being the farm animals as well."

Fitzwilliam laughed "Sir I would by no means disadvantage you or your daughters, yes the carriage will come with horses, and a groom and driver. I, of course, will cover their wages and the animals' expenses. You will not have any expense with this at all, I only ask that they are given space in your stables until Elizabeth and I are married."

"You have that sir!" and they shook hands on it.

"I shall only tell Elizabeth that I am going to town on business, and I would like her to stay in London while I am there. It is my desire to show her my London house while we are there, and I hope that she will re-decorate the house how she wishes."

"Mr Darcy, I am sure that she will be very much pleased with the house as it is. She has a high regard for Pemberley I know."

"If I could think of a reason to take her to Pemberley right now I would! I am anxious for her to choose her rooms there and to know what adjustments she would like to make to the house, but alas I cannot think of any reason to go to Pemberley at this time of year." Mr Bennet laughed at this so hard Darcy thought that he was going to fall off his chair. "Sir, I must ask what is so funny."

"Well, Mr Darcy you have given the very reason to take her up there while saying you cannot think of any reason, in fact, I propose that we journey up there after you have concluded the London business, which you say will only take a short time."

"Thank you, sir, that would be delightful, however, can I ask that Mrs Bennet does not join you and your Daughter up there, for I am afraid I rather view Pemberley much as you do your library - Silliness and vulgarity anywhere, but at Pemberley? This, of course, will be broken at Christmas if you and your family accept our invitation for a full family Christmas at Pemberley. Elizabeth and I have already invited Jane and Mr Bingley, and the Gardiners. So I would appreciate it if you and your Family would join us at Pemberley for Christmas."

"Thank you, sir, that is very kind of you, I am sure Mrs Bennet and the girls would be delighted to visit Pemberley for Christmas."

"Kitty should be happy for it is a tradition that the principle family throws a ball at New Year. It has not happened for many years now though as my mother died when my sister was small, and my Father died five years ago. I detest dancing, and my sister is not yet out. However, it is my plan that I shall revive it this year."

"And does Elizabeth know that she will be the hostess so quickly?"

"Not yet, sir" Darcy enjoyed these tête-à-têtes with Elizabeth's father. Other than Elizabeth and Jane, he was the only sensible one of the family, and though his wit usually took the turn that he was laughing at Darcy, it was in noticing how much Elizabeth was like her father and not her mother that Darcy managed to bear it. Darcy now rose and excused himself to return to Elizabeth. Returning to the drawing room, Darcy found Elizabeth and her mother absent and the only explanation that Jane would give was that they had some household business to attend to and would be back in a minute. "Jane do you think your mother could deal with managing the wedding arrangements without you and Elizabeth for a few days? The wedding is at the end of November. Since it is now mid-October, and I have to be in London for a few days, after which her father and I would like to take Elizabeth to Pemberley for probably about a week, would you and Bingley like to join us in London and Pemberley?"

A look of pleasure was shared by Bingley and Jane, and then Jane answered "We would love to. I presume that Lizzy and our father will be staying with my Aunt and uncle in London."

"Yes, or at least if it is convenient, your father promised to express a letter to Mr Gardiner, today," Said Darcy Smiling.

"And when will we leave, Darcy?" Bingley asked, who relished the thought of Jane's society in town away from her mother.

"I shall be writing to send the horses ahead for the trip to Pemberley; however we will leave town as soon as we hear from Mr Gardiner. I am hoping it will be within a few days." It was now that Elizabeth walked into the room, looking beautiful and excited, she was wearing a new day dress, and it was presumed by Darcy as no one said anything that she had been choosing the material and being measured for her wedding dress. Darcy had been about to talk to her about the London trip when Mrs Phillips walked into the drawing room, and Mr and Mrs Collins followed. Mr Bennet came in for a few moments and spoke only to Darcy to say that the Express had been sent. Darcy replied that he had asked Bingley and Jane to accompany them. "A good plan," said Mr Bennet and left the room again.

Darcy looked about the room amused. Everyone in the room was either related or going to be related. However, there was a vast difference in temperaments, and sense. Mr Collins was in as much awe of Darcy as Mrs Phillips seemed to be, and just as vulgar even though it appeared that he conducted himself in a way much closer to being a gentleman. Mrs Collins, was not in awe of Darcy and had a vast deal of sense, and blushed when her husband exposed himself or her, and ignored even more of what he said. Bingley and Jane, of course, both had very gentle open manners, although Jane was much more serene – something that he had mistaken for indifference last year. Elizabeth was lively, and he knew himself to be much graver and more austere than he wished to be, with Elizabeth's help he was getting better at conversing with others he didn't know. Looking at Mr Collins, he suddenly remembered something that Mrs Bennet had said at the ball at Netherfield. Oh, that awful ball with such terrible consequences. He had separated Jane and Bingley, and caused so much pain and unhappiness, because of the events at that ball. "Mr Collins is such a sensible young man." How could anyone of sense think Mr Collins, a sensible young man? Then he remembered that Mr Collins had made an offer to Elizabeth. Perhaps the mother knew what he was planning and was praising him up merely because he had money and would inherit Longbourn, and wanted to lift the fortunes of the girls. He smiled, that was precisely what he was doing by boosting their settlements. He'd increased Lydia's only as a bribe that Mr Wickham would marry her, and thereby restore the respectability of the family. He was boosting Jane's as a wedding present for her and Mr Bingley, and raising Elizabeth's out of unalloyed love for the woman who had made him the happiest man in the world. He would boost Mary's, and Kitty's as wedding presents for them too. However Mary at least would not get so much, and Kitty might if she married right. Kitty seemed as if she would improve if given the proper society, and maybe Mrs Annesley might be prevailed on to help Kitty, in the way that she is helping Georgiana.

Mrs Bennet walked into the room, and very soon they were all called into the dining room for dinner. By now his place was firmly established next to Elizabeth and opposite Bingley, and Mr Collins was placed next to Mrs Bennet. Darcy, Mr Bingley and Mr Bennet had the vast enjoyment of watching how the conversation went. It was turning out that Mr Bennet, Darcy and Bingley although of different temperaments all shared a similar sense of humour, and that made their end of the table rather lively, especially on nights when it was just the family. Often times they would see Mrs Bennet looking rather jealous as she could neither join in the conversation. Often she was so far from even understanding the conversation which Jane and Elizabeth often took much pleasure in, that often times the three men struggled to maintain straight faces until the ladies withdrew for she often turned the conversation into absurdities. However this evening with Sir William and Mr Collins either side of her and Mrs Collins on the other side of Darcy, the three gentlemen very quietly came to an agreement that they would quietly watch the absurdity at the other end. They, of course, were rewarded for Mrs Phillips, Lady Lucas and Maria, were all empty headed and vulgar. They couldn't help talking with Mrs Bennet about how fortunate she was to have two daughters marrying so well, and to men with more fortune than they could have imagined any of the girls of their neighbourhood would achieve. This, of course, threatened to offend Darcy for that was one thing he hated above all else – having his wealth talked about. Mr Collins then started to try and show off about having Lady Catherine as his 'noble patroness' and to this Darcy thought I wonder if you showed off so much if you knew it was my cousin Anne and not her titled mother who pays your wages. He would have to share that joke later after the pompous ones had left for the evening, though. Sir William then tried to show off about St James', and the whole scene became one of absolute absurdity, as the two men tried to wrestle for position and notice, and the ladies jostling to talk about Bingley's five thousand a year, and Darcy's ten thousand a year. Looking around him, Darcy could see his future father in law enjoying the scene, as was Elizabeth who was sharing warm smiles and looks with her sister Jane. Darcy and Bingley shared many an expressive look also and soon all five of them could not help laughing. Charlotte too enjoyed the joke and observed that she had not enjoyed such an evening since going into Huntsford. Darcy though could also see that Elizabeth and Jane were keenly aware of how much their mother was exposing herself at such times. He also observed that they often tried to keep Mr Bingley and Darcy to themselves rather than allowing their mother and other relations to talk to them much, and for this Darcy, more than his friend was very grateful, though he knew that it spoilt the joy of their courtship a little.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 33**

The next day Elizabeth and Jane were to be engaged all day with planning such things on the wedding that the gentlemen had nothing to do. Indeed it would embarrass both them and the ladies, so Mr Bingley had accepted an invitation to dine with some of the neighbours, but Fitzwilliam made an impromptu journey to London, knowing that he could be back in time to dine at Longbourne, and his absence would not be missed. He left early that morning and was in London for breakfast, and so breakfasted with his sister at her little establishment. Her surprise was just what he wished for, and indeed he planned that she would join the party when they went up to Pemberley and then back to Netherfield. The Hurst's and Miss Bingley were to arrive at Netherfield today, and Fitzwilliam wanted to avoid them for as long as possible.

"My dear Fitzwilliam, how is it you have time for your sister today?" Cried miss Darcy delighted that he had made the journey.

"Well Georgiana, it turns out that Elizabeth and Jane are engaged with wedding preparations, and Mr Bingley has gone a visiting, and I wanted to see my beautiful sister." Georgiana blushed, not being used to compliments and still being very shy.

"So what are we to do Fitzwilliam?" She asked, but before he could answer Mrs Annesley walked into the breakfast parlour,

"I do beg your pardon for being late Miss Darcy" she began before she realised that Fitzwilliam Darcy was in the room. "Oh, Mr Darcy! I am so glad you're here. I'm sorry I was late to breakfast."

"It's ok Mrs Annesley." Replied Fitzwilliam, smiling. "I hope that soon, she will have another companion for balls, and then you won't have to stay up so late."

"Oh I don't mind it so much Mr Darcy, it reminds me of when I was young."

"So Fitzwilliam, what are we going to do today?" Asked Miss Darcy again.

"Well, I hadn't thought about it, although I need to take you to our milliners and get you fitted for a dress that I ordered from them a few weeks ago when I was last in London."

"And will you tell me about all my sisters, and also when I am to meet them?"

"Of course, I will, however not right now" With that he finished his breakfast in near silence, and waited for his sister and Mrs Annesley to finish theirs. He was anxious to maximise the time he had in London today to get his sister settled and sorted for he wanted to be back at Longbourne for dinner, but had yet to tell his sister that.

Georgiana though realised that he wanted to get back the same day and as gently as she could, she drew out from him, the admission that he would only have a few hours, and would then have to be on the road back to Longbourne. And so Fitzwilliam spent as much of the day as he could with his sister. They went to the milliners, and enjoyed other such pursuits until he eventually said unwillingly that he had to go otherwise he would be late for dinner, and so dropping his sister home, he found himself on his way back to Longbourne and arrived tired just in time for dinner.

"So Elizabeth, how did the preparations go today?" Fitzwilliam Darcy asked as that sat down to dinner.

"Very well thank you" she replied, "Everything should be ready, Jane and I were thinking of setting the final date for the 26th November." This brought back memories of the Netherfield ball

Fitzwilliam Darcy shook his head, "No could we change it to the 5th of December? I do not want to remember the 26th of November."

Elizabeth thought for a moment, and then realised that it would be a good idea, and looked at Jane who shrugged and said she thought that Mr Bingley would agree. "Shall I ask him when I get back to Netherfield tonight?"

"Yes please Mr Darcy" it was then that Fitzwilliam realised that it was only Elizabeth who used his first name,

"Please, Jane call me Fitzwilliam, in fact, I hope you all will" Kitty took fright at the thought of it, Mrs Bennet Fidgeted, Mary ignored it, and Mr Bennet just smiled.

"Now see you've frightened my family" teased Elizabeth, and everyone laughed.

"Well if I have, I hope they'll soon get over it, and relax into using my first name." Answered Fitzwilliam, tired of a family setting that was so formal in the way they spoke to him. The formality made him the feel like he was not a part of the family yet, although he and Elizabeth were always informal.

"Mr Darcy, I am not sure I'll get used to calling you Fitzwilliam very quickly. However, I shall try. I had a letter back from Mr Gardiner today, agreeing to our little plan. Mrs Bennet you will have to do without your daughters for about two weeks or so, for Fitzwilliam, Mr Bingley and myself are planning on taking them to London, for a couple of weeks." Said Mr Bennet.

"Oh, well why don't I come with you, it's been a while since I went to town," Said Mrs Bennet not aware that there was a deliberate omission in the plan.

"Because of my dear, we need you to stay here, and keep the plans moving forward for your daughter's weddings, a double wedding you know is an awkward business, and we all want them to have a proper send-off."

"Well yes, that is true, I suppose going away at the moment would be tough, Hill is planning the menu for the wedding breakfast, what are your plans for after that Jane, Elizabeth, Mr Dar- Fitzwilliam?" Mrs Bennet seemed uncomfortable saying Fitzwilliam, but forced herself to as he had specifically asked for it.

Elizabeth, Jane and Fitzwilliam looked at each other – horrified, they had barely set the date, and certainly, they had not thought beyond that yet.

"You see Mrs Bennet, you have a need to be here because I don't think the young people have made their decision on that one yet."

"No indeed, not," said Elizabeth, blushing and the others all blushed with her.

"Mr Bennet Could you and your daughters be ready to leave in the morning – say after breakfast? For I am anxious to get the London business completed" Fitzwilliam asked.

"Of course Fitzwilliam, my own estate business is fully up to date, and should not need any attention for a while. Kitty, would you ring the bell?" When the servant appeared, Mr Bennet instructed him to pack his trunk, and that of Elizabeth and Jane, as they would all be journeying to London in the morning.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier Elizabeth," Said Fitzwilliam, "I would have done so, but every chance I had someone came and interrupted me."

"It's ok, my father told me, and of course Jane could not keep it from me." Elizabeth smiled, and Fitzwilliam smiled as he thought about Elizabeth using his mother's carriage, for her daily outings, and morning calls, and he wondered if she would still walk three miles, to see her sister and nurse her if she was ill.

The ladies withdrew from the dinner table, and Mr Bennet then asked him "At what point will you tell my daughter that she is to have your mother's carriage?"

"Only once it is repaired and arrives at her door, I looked at it today for I made a trip into town today and it seems that it only needs a new spring or two, the livery has become slightly worn, but that can be restored quickly enough. So my part of the London business will likely be the work of a day or two."

"The lawyers will need to see us as soon as possible, and then we'll have to return to town on the return trip from Pemberley to sign."

"Yes I had thought of that, that is why I sent an express off yesterday to tell Mr Gardiner to have our Lawyers waiting for us tomorrow, he already knows who my man is." Mr Bennet was amused. Fitzwilliam was definitely a man of action, which was certainly the opposite of his own character. Mr Bennet being a most lazy man he often put off dealing with things for as long as he could, he was reluctant to deal with Business late. Rarely was it dealt with it too early either. However this man who he now found was to be his son in law was the opposite, where there was business to be dealt with, he would get up and deal with it, and then enjoy time with ease and comfort afterwards. Mr Bennet, when first informed of the engagement, had wondered how such a proud austere man had captured the heart of his daughter, yet the more he got to know this young man the more he liked him, and started to understand his daughter's attachment – although he would never entirely understand it. "I have also planned an evening at the theatre tomorrow night if you don't mind."

"Of course not, although I might leave you young people to enjoy it without me." They then went through to the ladies, and Fitzwilliam, being fatigued from the day's trip, and anxious to get Bingley to agree to the date, that he, Jane and Elizabeth had all decided to be a good one, soon found himself back in his carriage. Elizabeth had noticed that he was fatigued and not pressed him to stay. It was agreed though that he would send an extra pair of horses to Longbourne that night, for Mr Bennet's carriage. This enabled the horses to remain in the field while Mr Bennet was gone. Darcy and Mr Bingley would arrive before breakfast, break the fast wit the Bennets, after which the party would leave for London.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 34**

In his excitement about setting the wedding date, Darcy had forgotten that Miss Bingley and the Hurst's had arrived that day until striding into the drawing room, and he saw them all sitting there. Miss Bingley looked upset, and Mrs Hurst was silent. Mr Hurst instead of being sprawled on one of the sofas, as usual, was in earnest conversation with his brother in law, and Darcy immediately went over and joined them.

"Perhaps you can help us, Mr Darcy," Mr Hurst said. "How is it you have brought your sister up so well?"

"Proper discipline and guidance from sensible well-bred women, such as her aunt, governesses and companions" Was Darcy's reply, for he had had little to do with it and the one thing he didn't want them all to know was about her little indiscretion at Ramsgate last year. Something she seemed now to have recovered from, and nobody, but himself, Mrs Young, Colonel Fitzwilliam and the gentleman concerned knew about – oh except Elizabeth, and maybe Jane and Lydia. That indiscreet wild Lydia should have the possibility of knowing how his sister had been manipulated gave Darcy a pang of hurt, but he would not give that man any more satisfaction of ruining his family or Darcy's happiness. Darcy was thankful that his father had died five years ago and didn't live to see what a problem Mr Wickham had become. That alone would possibly have killed his father.

"Caroline is too old for a governess, and I doubt she'd consent to a companion" Said Mr Bingley.

"Bingley, she doesn't have much choice. You are about to be married; your other sister is already married, so unless you are going to insist that she seek employment a companion is her only option. I'm sure you do not wish to be forever squiring her around – especially once you and Jane start your family. That's not to mention that it's not fair to expect that of Jane." Said Darcy

"Well after Scarborough I'm afraid she cannot come back to Grosvenor Street with us. I only just managed to pay our bills when we left Scarborough, something I've never had a problem with in the past, though my fortune is so small. However, Louisa and Caroline after they received the news of your engagements spent too much at the milliners, buying pins, ribbons, sending materials to their dressmakers. It cost a fortune in itself, and I'm afraid I need to cut down on my expenses when I return to Grosvenor Street after the wedding." Mr Hurst was very upset, for although his fortune was larger than Mr Bennet's, he still did not have a large one, and had hoped to be able to add to his fortune every year so that his son or sons would have greater wealth than he had.

"Oh dear, I don't suppose that Georgiana could move into your Mansion in London and that my sister could use her little establishment in London could she?" Mr Bingley felt all the awkwardness of this, as though his fortune was ample, he was aware that he had still to buy his estate, and only used his friend's houses whenever he travelled.

"Bingley, would that not be punishing my sister for what your sister has done? I could not do that to her." Said Darcy, more sharply than he ought to have done.

"Oh, yes I see that. Oh dear. How am I going to sort this out? I suppose she'll have to live with us then. She won't like that, as she doesn't like the society here."

"Her preferences are of little importance here. She's your unmarried sister for crying out loud Bingley. She needs to learn to socialise with all as if they were her equals rather than sneering and laughing at them if they have not her connections. She also needs to learn about her place in society. It is too much that she a tradesman's daughter should sneer at the behaviour of Gentlemen's daughters. The gentry is above her regardless of fortune or manners." Replied Darcy, tired of this conversation and anxious to talk about his London plans and also to get the wedding date finalised.

"Yes, perhaps you are right, Darcy," said Mr Bingley.

"I've been thinking, you know we are all going to be brothers in law here, is it not time we used each other's first names?" Darcy was fed up of the formal address they all used.

"You know I've never really thought about it. Caroline and Louisa always use first names, however, it never crossed my mind that we should do so, but yes it would be right to do so I believe – what say you, Mr Hurst?" Said Mr Bingley.

"Well, I too have never thought about it, but yes Charles I think I agree we should, maybe we could bond our family unit better. However, we must never do so in public remember."

"Of course not, although, I believe I do not know yours, Mr Hurst" Said Darcy, hoping more than believing that first names would bond everyone together.

"Richard" was the simple reply, that Darcy received, "Yours?"

"Fitzwilliam."

"Mr Darcy, I do believe that you have something to do with the way that my brother has spoken to me this evening" started Caroline Bingley "Or maybe Miss Eliza put you up to it."

"Miss Bingley, I do not and did not need Elizabeth to put me up to anything. Your mode of behaviour is despicable, and Charles I believe is taking appropriate steps to deal with you." Replied Darcy. Miss Bingley looked stunned at the mixture of cold civility in his response and yet the casual references to Elizabeth Bennet and Her brother.

"Charles, are you going to let him talk to me like that?" if the gentlemen had not been so familiar with Miss Bingley's behaviour they would have thought she was suffering apoplexy her face was so red.

"I am only surprised that he spoke to you at all, Caroline," Said Mr Bingley. Miss Bingley then looked even more stunned and miserable and said nothing.

"Charles, you remember I mentioned the London plan, and that you and Jane promised to come with us?" Darcy started now, anxious to change the subject to the more pleasant things.

"Yes, indeed I do."

"Well Mr Bennet received the letter from Mr Gardiner today that we've been waiting for, so we arranged that you and I will breakfast with them and then leave for London after breakfast."

"Capital. I'll be ready. Caroline, you, Mr Hurst, and Louisa will have to entertain yourselves for about two weeks, and we'll be back soon enough."

"Well, why don't I join you, Charles, I should love to visit Town." Miss Bingley's tone was sugary sweet, thinking she would get her way.

"Caroline, you will stay here. I'm sure after all that Louisa and you spent in Scarborough you cannot have any of your pin money left over, nor can there be anything that either of you has the need to purchase. Perhaps you might be so good as to assist Mrs Bennet with the wedding plans, in our absence" Replied Charles. Miss Bingley sat and stared in shock at her brother, but couldn't argue as no words would come though she looked like she wanted to argue.

"There is one more piece of business before we go to bed Charles," Said Darcy

"Nothing too dreadful I hope." Charles queried worriedly as to what else needed to be discussed.

"Oh no, nothing so very terrible," Darcy was so very conscious of making a hash of this. "That is I was dining with Elizabeth and her family tonight, and well, they came up with the 26th of November for our wedding date, but I said I'd rather not be reminded of that date, and suggested the 5th of December, which they agreed to. What say you, Charles? Would the 5th of December suit you?"

"Well upon my word I should have dined there this evening should I not?"

"You accepted the invitation to dine elsewhere" Darcy stated gently. "What say you to the date, though, as all it wants is your agreement, and they will settle it for us."

"Well...26th of November, why that was the date of my ball last year, " at that Darcy winced remembering how all the Bennet family, except the two eldest daughters, had exposed themselves and the ungenerous part he had played after that in separating Jane and Charles. "I can see why you would not want to be reminded of that date, the 5th of December is good for me, I'm perfectly happy with it. On the 5th of December then you and I will become brothers!"

"I have another reason for not wanting to remember that date, apparently the very next day that pompous clergyman cousin of theirs made Elizabeth an offer she wisely refused." Stated Darcy, knowing full well that he at once sounded anxious, jealous and angry.

"Well, the 5th it is then. I'll tell Jane at breakfast tomorrow that I agree." And with that, the whole party parted to go to bed.

Darcy, once he was in bed, found that sleep would not come. During the night he would experience every emotion. Memories would come that would hurt, humiliate and anger him by turns, and then visions of the future were also dancing through his head making him nervous, happy, ecstatic, and jubilant. To the best of his ability he whiled away the hours dreaming of the future. He dreamed of Elizabeth's delight when she received his mother's carriage, her delight upon entering Pemberley for the first time as it's mistress, her pleasure walking around the Pemberley woods. All this and more was in his dreams, as he tried to force himself to sleep. At length, however, sleep did close his eyes, and it seemed that he had barely slept when his valet woke him up. The morning had come, and he and Charles had to be packed and at Longbourne before breakfast. This he found was easily accomplished and Charles sisters still in very ill humour after the night before did not appear to see them leave for Longbourne and then London.

In the Chaise going to Longbourne Charles never stopped talking about how pleasant their wedding day would be, and though Darcy thought Charles to be setting himself up for disappointment, Darcy found himself sharing Charles optimistic view and even adding in his dreams and thoughts on the subject. Entering the drawing room at Longbourne, Charles and Darcy soon found Elizabeth and Jane to be discussing the same topic and talking about it with the same animation that the gentlemen were, for now; the date was set all that remained was to finalise things like the guest list, menus, and clothes. Jane, it turned out had been delighted with Netherfield and had in fact only required a couple of new pieces for her private rooms. This Charles had been more than willing to comply with and had with speed ordered the new furniture.

Darcy was anxious as to how Elizabeth would deal with being the mistress of both Pemberley and his townhouse. It was not that he thought Elizabeth incapable, but simply he was aware as to the relative size of Pemberley to Longbourne, he didn't want to overwhelm her. However his anxiety he managed to keep down. The four of them finalised the dress colours, and the gentlemen's suits, which Darcy was pleased to have had his way with, and the gentlemen's suits were to be Navy blue as he had ordered. Elizabeth and Jane were to be married in pleasing pastel shades, and the bridesmaids were all to be dressed in a pale powder blue colour, which would suit both Georgiana, and Kitty. Charlotte too would have a pale blue dress as she was to be Elizabeth's attendant that day. Mary had declined the office of bridesmaid, and Jane found herself obliged to ask Maria Lucas instead of Elizabeth. The wedding talk continued throughout breakfast, and then Mr Bennet suggested that the two couples use Darcy's carriage and he would follow with his behind. This although feeling rather unsociable was by no means disagreeable and after a short disclaimer from the girls Charles, Jane, Elizabeth and Darcy were all settled in Darcy's carriage, and Mr Bennet settled in his own, and they all made their way to Gracechurch-street.

Having settled in the carriage, they had barely left Longbourne when Darcy reached into his pocket and produced a small rectangular box. He showed Elizabeth what was written on it and what was inside. Then closing the box again handed it to Jane, saying: "I meant to give this to you on your engagement. It's only a small trifle to say congratulations" Jane took the box and was surprised to see a sea shell pink fan inside, with her name engraved on it. "Thank you Fitzwilliam, it's very generous of you."

"Please, now that you, Georgiana, and my beloved Elizabeth have matching fans, say you'll use them tonight when we all go to the theatre." Surprised both girls assured him that they would.

"Now we need to attend to the question that Mrs Bennet asked last night, as to whether or not we would stay for dinner on our Wedding day" Said Darcy. "It was perhaps indelicate of her to ask what our plans were for the rest of the day, for I would not have her know everything that we plan for that day, however, what she meant to limit her enquiry to, but failed, must be dealt with."

"Upon my word, Fitzwilliam, I hadn't thought about it" Cried Charles.

"I was going to propose that you both dine with us that day and stay for a week before you go on to London or Derbyshire" Said Jane quietly.

"I'm not against it in principle, but I had hoped to have my bride all to myself that night," said Darcy blushing.

"And so you shall Fitzwilliam, but you'll still have to eat somewhere you know," said Charles.

"Yes, that is true, and at least if we dine at Netherfield, we won't have all those knowing looks when we leave the social circle for the night. I think I dread that more than anything else that day" Said Elizabeth.

"Yes, do you know how many times I've had our Aunt Mrs Phillips give me those looks? She does it almost every time she talks about our wedding day" Said Jane,

"Our mother is only slightly better" Said Elizabeth.

Darcy leant over and whispered in Elizabeth's ear "And are you looking forward to that night?"

She blushed and whispered back "Definitely; my love."

Darcy caught Jane and Charles also whispering and blushing and thought that their whispers couldn't be much different his and Elizabeth's, but was way too happy to care! At that moment, Jane and Charles turned, and Kissed each other. Darcy pulled Elizabeth close in a tight hug.

"So it's settled then that we will stay with yourselves for a week and then go on to Pemberley" Smiled Darcy.

"Yes I think it's a capital idea" Said Charles, and Elizabeth and Jane just smiled that their first week of Married life would be spent in the same house.

"Well it should certainly be better than the last time we were at Netherfield" Said Elizabeth, remembering that the last time she and Jane had stayed, Jane was ill, and nobody but Charles had treated her with much respect or made her feel very welcome.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you then" Said Darcy so very softly only Elizabeth heard it. She then turned and gave him such a kiss that he forgot everything, including that Charles and Jane were right there, and he kissed her back with a deep passion and hunger.

The four young people then lapsed into silence. However, it wasn't long before his lack of sleep started to catch up with Darcy and soon he was fast asleep as they travelled to Gracechurch Street.


	34. Chapter 34

Too soon the Carriage rolled to a stop outside Gracechurch Street, and Darcy was gently shaken awake. Jane and Mr Bingley had already dismounted, and groggily he mumbled Elizabeth's name, and she gently answered him "Yes, Fitzwilliam I'm here, and we've arrived at my Aunts and Uncles." With this Darcy pulled himself together got out of the carriage and helped Elizabeth out of the carriage. Mr Bennet having stepped out of his carriage five minutes earlier was standing enjoying the scene immensely.

They all entered the house, where Mr and Mrs Gardiner received them with joy, and Mr Bennet and Darcy were informed that the attorneys would be arriving in half an hour. Darcy begged permission to use a room to freshen up and change out of his travelling clothes before the lawyers came, being aware that he had been asleep during the journey. His request was granted, and the whole party separated to clean up and change.

Within twenty minutes the whole group was back downstairs and relaxing with tea and sandwiches, and ten minutes later the attorneys arrived, Mr Bennet and Darcy then retired to Mr Gardiner's library to meet with them, and give them their instructions.

"We have asked you here to settle on my daughters an amount of money so they can enjoy their marriages," Said Mr Bennet addressing the two Lawyers as he and Darcy entered the library.

"Ok let's discuss amounts first" Answered Darcy's attorney.

"I cannot do more for my two daughters than one thousand pounds, which is what they will receive from their mother on her death. In the meanwhile, I will give Elizabeth and Jane ￡100 pounds a year during my life."

"No need for their allowance during your life as it is my wish that I should increase Elizabeth's settlement to fifty thousand pounds, and Jane's to twenty thousand pounds. That will give Elizabeth an annual allowance of fifteen hundred pounds and Jane an allowance of 1000 pounds per annum" stated Darcy

"I cannot allow you to be so generous to them Mr Darcy; you have your expenses to look to." Said Mr Bennet

"I can afford it. I've saved so much over the years" Darcy shrugged

"Even so, I cannot let you do so much; I would not object were you giving both girls ten thousand pounds, but not as much as you are offering."

"How about fifteen thousand for Miss Jane and twenty-five thousand for Miss Elizabeth?"

"Ten thousand for Miss Jane should be quite enough, and I would allow you to do twenty for Miss Elizabeth, but nothing more. It is way too generous of you to anything for the girls."

"Not at all. I gave Miss Lydia ten thousand pounds and would not like to have any of your other girls fare worse than Miss Lydia. In fact, I think it incumbent upon us that the girls who have behaved much better should have better settlements than their sister, who should suffer for her behaviour."

"I would agree with you, Mr Darcy. I will concede to your giving my daughter Jane Fifteen thousand, but I'll still keep you to Twenty thousand for Miss Elizabeth."

"That settles it then Fifteen Thousand for Miss Jane and Twenty Thousand for Miss Elizabeth." Said Darcy, who was about to leave when his attorney stopped him.

"Mr Darcy, what provisions in the settlement do you wish to have if you and Miss Elizabeth get divorced?"

"Not going to happen. I love Elizabeth so much I would never divorce her" Replied Darcy.

"So says every bridegroom in my experience, but still divorce does happen."

"Hmm, if it happens with no fault on either side, or if I have been unfaithful, then Miss Elizabeth can have the house in town, and her settlement money plus an allowance of 4 Thousand pounds a year. If it happens because of infidelity on her part, then she gets nothing more than her settlement money only. On my death, she is to get Pemberley and everything I own, which upon her death is to pass to our eldest son, if we have one. If I die without a son, then Pemberley is to pass to our Eldest daughter."

"It shall be done as such Mr Darcy, thank you. What if you have no heirs?"

"Then my entire estate passes to my wife to be left according to her discretion."

"Mr Bennet I need to know the same details from Mr Bingley to finalise the details of Miss Jane's settlement." Said the Gardiner's Attorney.

"I'll send Mr Bingley in; I've finished my part in the business. Oh, and one more thing, Miss Elizabeth must be allowed to have the interest from her settlement as of tonight." said rising from his chair.

"It shall be done Mr Darcy" Replied his lawyer, and with that Darcy quitted the Library. Returning to the Ladies, he told Mr Bingley to join Mr Bennet who was finishing everything up in the library. There was not much time before going to the Theatre that Darcy and the ladies all retired to change.

Mr Bingley managed to change for the theatre in such a very brief period that Darcy wondered how he managed it, in such good time. As had been agreed at Longbourne Mr Bennet did not accompany the young people, but Mr and Mrs Gardiner did. Mrs Annesley escorted Georgiana to join them at the theatre; Mrs Annesley then returned home.

When asked, later on, Darcy did not know what it was that they watched, or how it ended. What he remembered from that evening was Elizabeth renewing her acquaintance and Jane becoming acquainted with Georgiana. For the whole evening, the four ladies were talking about the wedding. The three gentlemen ended up talking between themselves and just watching the ladies, for as excited as Darcy, and Bingley were about their approaching weddings they realised how much more women had to talk about and arrange in such matters, than they. Supper at the theatre changed the topic of conversation, and the plans were then made for Christmas.

"Lizzy may I repeat the idea of a low Phaeton and ponies to drive around the park?" asked Mrs Gardiner curious to see the whole of the woods, but not being up to walking it.

"Of course Aunt, in fact, I had planned to hire one just for that purpose" Replied Elizabeth.

"Instead of hiring I think I shall buy one for the park. In fact, it is a rather good idea; maybe there should be a couple in the park that other visitors could drive around and see the best of Pemberley" Cut in Darcy.

Elizabeth looked at him surprised. She had not mentioned the plan to him, intending rather use her small allowance to put the plan into action. "Thank you my love." She replied

"I shall look forward to seeing the woods then at Christmas" Said Mrs Gardiner. Then turning to Darcy, she said: "Mr Darcy you were very sly the last time you dined with us, never mentioning my niece here."

"I'm a sorry madam, but I didn't know whether Elizabeth would accept me, nor did I know what alteration in the family certain other events had occasioned, so I was unwilling to mention her, besides it was not known that I was in love with her. Nor did I want anyone to think that it was only for Elizabeth that I did what I did."

"True, but you know you were not quite as discreet at Pemberley as you thought yourself as being"

"What do you mean madam?"

"Only Sir that it was written all over your face and that her uncle and I could tell that this was coming."

"I am sorry madam if you thought me underhand."

"No sir, not at all. Although it was evident at Pemberley that you and Elizabeth knew had a better acquaintance than was believed to be the case. At one point it almost seemed as if you and Elizabeth knew something that you were both trying to cover!" At this Darcy started, he wondered whether she was referring to the failed proposal or his sister's disgrace, and at that moment he wasn't sure which would be worse.

"I'm sorry Madam; I have not the pleasure of understanding you."

"Oh, I was only referring to what Miss Bingley said and the responses to both my niece and you the morning Lizzy and I called on your sister."

"Ah. Excuse me madam if I do not enlighten you further. Miss Bingley was trying to cause hurt to Elizabeth, however for very private reasons the gentleman to whom she was alluding is a very painful subject for myself and my sister, as well as Elizabeth."

"It's alright Mr Darcy, I understand. If she was alluding to the gentleman, I thought she was that is a painful subject for our family as well."

At this Darcy smiled but said nothing. The play now resuming the women took their seats together, and the gentlemen sat together. Darcy spent the rest of the play trying to work out how it is that that man seemed to be able to ruin his happiness even when he was not around. It was during this time of reflection that Darcy noticed how despite the three fans being identical in every way, except the names that were engraved on them, they complemented the three girls so differently. Somehow it brought out Lizzy's eyes, Jane's complexion, and Enhanced Georgiana's overall beauty. In fact, it would take a very keen eye to notice that the fans were identical. Seeing how different, they looked with each girl, this made Darcy smile, for he knew that each girl would make use of them differently. He was anxious to give Lizzy the bonnet that he had bought, but that was sitting in his London house somewhere, for he knew that Georgiana had placed it there, but he wasn't sure as to where. Eventually, the play came to an end, and they all returned to the carriages. Darcy and Bingley were going onto Darcy's townhouse, Elizabeth and Jane returning to the Gardiners in their carriage and Georgiana, Darcy and Bingley left in the Darcy carriage

"So Georgiana did you enjoy your night?" asked Darcy as soon as everyone was settled.

"Oh, yes! Jane and Lizzy are such lovely girls! I had such fun talking with them about your wedding,"

"I want to ask you, though, where you put the bonnet I bought Elizabeth? I know you put it somewhere in the London house, but I don't know where."

"I thought that you would want her to have mama's rooms, so I placed it on the bed in Mama's room, and told the servants that they were not to move it".

Darcy smiled. How Georgiana had anticipated him in that one, he wasn't sure, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought it didn't matter. "Thank you, Georgiana, that was very thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome" She replied and planted a kiss on his cheek.

The rest of the journey back to Georgiana's she talked on and on about the delights she expected when she came out. It seemed as if even his sister would tell him off if for how he had behaved at the Meryton assembly that first time he met Elizabeth. It didn't matter, though since Georgiana didn't need him to answer her, for no sooner had she recounted one thing, but she was talking on about something else. Eventually, the Curricle rolled up to her front door, and Mrs Annesley met her at the front door. She then said goodnight to her brother.

Barely had Bingley and Darcy arrived at Darcy's townhouse, and sat down in the saloon until the servants had unpacked their trunks, and their rooms ready for them to go to bed when Bingley said: "Well Fitzwilliam, it seems that the wedding is all the women are talking about now."

"We're not much better you know" Replied Darcy. "We talk about estates, and budgeting, and how having wives will change our arrangements in our homes. I don't think we've had one day since we got engaged when we didn't talk about the wedding in some way or another."

"I know, but do the women have to go on about muslins, and dresses, fashions, tables, crockery, silverware, and all those other things? They leave us behind, although I think you have the march on me as you do buy for your sister."

"I only buy the odd trifle for my sister; I never attempt to choose her clothes – except for the dress I ordered for her for the wedding."

"Well upon my word, take the fans for example. I didn't even think about buying such things, you, on the other hand, bought not just for your sister, but for Jane and Elizabeth as well. By the way, I'm very indebted to you for your gift to Jane; she looked so beautiful tonight, and I know the fan was adding to her beauty."

"You're welcome, Charles. Although I hadn't realised that they would suit all of the girls so very well."

"The girls are talking about such things that lose me totally when it comes to the wedding."

"I know, and I was a little lost with it all tonight, thankfully Georgiana got excited about it all."

"Well, your sister would! The women have it all their way at the moment.

"I don't know about all their way" Smiled Darcy, knowing that both Elizabeth and Jane would be horrified if they knew that Darcy had added substantially to their Marriage settlements. It grieved him when he thought about how over the years Wickham had robbed him of the chance to save more. At Cambridge time and again Darcy had to pay out to cover up Mr Wickham's debts, and indiscretions – just so his father would never hear of it. Darcy had always paid this out of his allowance, which was fortunately enough that he was always able to use whatever it was that he had put aside and saved, and never had to ask his father for more money. "Remember Charles that we will have to agree on the guest list together."

"That's true, and there are other things where we will have to have our say as well."

"I have a bit of business in the morning, however, I think you would like to go to my tailors for your suit tomorrow as well, am I correct?"

"Yes, Fitzwilliam you know I do."

"Ok well, then we'll have to go to the ladies after we have finished it all up then."

Darcy smiled as part of tomorrow's business would bring Elizabeth to the townhouse, He was to show Elizabeth around and then Her Father, Elizabeth, and Jane would be dining at the townhouse. What would Elizabeth change? Would she like his mother's rooms? Would she want to change them, would she accept them as they are? The curtains in some of the rooms were becoming a little worn and old looking so he would ask Elizabeth to replace them to her taste. Suddenly he felt very nervous and like he did as a little boy whenever his mother would come into his room, and inspect it for what needed replacing. Darcy then realised that Bingley had been talking to him, and was now looking at him in a most particular way, expecting an answer to something he had not heard a word that was spoken.

"I'm sorry Charles, What was that?"

"No matter" Replied Bingley "I was only remarking that you were very mysterious on this trip into London."

"No mystery, however, neither Jane nor Elizabeth must know what I'm about to say, so if you cannot keep my secret, I cannot tell you."

"Well, I can keep a secret! Jane to this day knows nothing about your part in separating us."

This was painful but proved Bingley's point. "Ok, this trip into London was for business, but it was wedding business" Darcy smiled, knowing that his friend would be surprised, as he had no idea of what business could bring them to London and be wedding business. "As you know, Mr Bennet and I met with the attorneys last night to put on paper the settlements for Jane and Elizabeth."

"Yes, I know."

"I did boost Elizabeth's, and Jane's yesterday. I also came to London for two other reasons. I am going to restore Mothers carriage, which won't take much and give it to Elizabeth complete with horses, and servants. Also, I am going to show Elizabeth around the townhouse tomorrow. Mr Bennet will bring Jane and Elizabeth just before dinner."

"Ah, so you have in fact brought us all under false pretences then."

"I suppose I have. I thought though that you and Jane would appreciate the time away from her mother."

"True. I guess with Netherfield being so close we'll see her often. You and Elizabeth being in town or Derbyshire will have it easy."

"Maybe not as easy as you think, we don't know whether she and Mr Bennet can afford to travel. Although Elizabeth didn't seem to think fifty miles to be an easy distance, so town and Derbyshire must be a good deal too far for them to travel very often. I did arrange that Elizabeth could benefit from the interest on her settlement, before her marriage, so that she will be able to relax on expenses, for the wedding. Especially if it requires travel or anything else, which it could well since Pemberley and Town are so far away from Longbourne."

"Upon my word you are full of surprises tonight Fitzwilliam! Next, you'll be telling me that you had this planned last autumn" At this Darcy smiled, for although it had not been as long as last Autumn, however, he did plan it in the spring when he saw Elizabeth at Rosings – before that fateful day at the parsonage. Not entirely but in skeleton form, and then over the last two months he had just put flesh on it. "I knew it! Fitzwilliam Darcy, you hypocrite!"

"No Charles, I had not planned any of it last autumn, although I did think that she would look beautiful in my mother's jewels, back then."

"Caroline and Louisa have asked me several times for mother's jewels, and I would like them to have some of them, but Jane must have some as well."

"That Charles is for you to sort out, I've already decided which pieces will be for Georgiana and which for Elizabeth, and once Elizabeth has been given my mother's rooms tomorrow, and I will tell her that everything in them, including my mother's Jewels, is Elizabeth's. I'll remove Georgiana's part in the morning."

Darcy's valet now appeared and informed him that his room was ready and his clothes unpacked. Bingley's room had been ready for half an hour, and so the two men now made their way to bed. Bingley being doubtful of sleep, and Darcy so nervous that he thought he would not sleep. He realised that from tomorrow this would no longer be his main base, as it had been in his bachelorhood. Rather he and Elizabeth would be based in Pemberley, and that they would likely only come down to London for the few short months of the season when they would be most likely to see Jane and Bingley in London, as well as his other friends.

They would, of course, be visiting Hertfordshire regularly, but he doubted how frequently when the children started to come. However, the other option was that Jane and Bingley would come and visit them regularly – this would give them a reprieve from her mother. The future now opened to him, in ways that had so many possibilities that by the morning Darcy's nervousness had dissipated, and was now replaced with an almost feverish excitement – such that his sister, when she arrived at breakfast with him, was afraid that he had become ill again. However, she was very soon able to see that he was very well and taking care of all his business as he should. The first was giving orders that his mother's carriage must go to the coachworks, and be fixed. He gave such minute instructions on that; it took him half an hour just giving the servants their instructions. He then ordered that when Elizabeth arrived they were to meet her and give her deference as they would the mistress of the house, as she is his fianc?e.

That order of business out of the way, Bingley and Darcy then left for the tailors, which it turned out took up the rest of the day until dinner time, between initial measurements being taken for Bingley. Darcy had to model his suit, with slight alterations being needed and in other such like things that by the time the two gentlemen got back in the carriage, they in fact were late for dinner. However just as they walked out of the door, an unexpected pleasure was afforded to Darcy.

"Hey ho, Darcy, what brings you to town right now? I know that Pemberley has nothing, and I hadn't heard anything from in town." Was the question that greeted Darcy as they exited the tailors.

"Fitzwilliam!" Exclaimed Darcy in great surprise. "I did not know you were in town."

"I arrived this morning" Replied Colonel Fitzwilliam. "However I thought that you were in Hertfordshire."

"And so we were until yesterday" Smiled Darcy "However business brought us to town."

"You look ecstatic. However, I am not aware of the reason why do I surmise that a certain lady is involved?"

"Oh dear. I have been so happy and busy I forgot to write. Do you remember the cause of my illness in May? You remember that I made a proposal that was rejected? Well, that situation has been reversed. Charles and I were in fact here to be measured up for our Wedding suits."

"Miss Elizabeth agreed to be your wife?!" The Colonel was astonished

"Yes, she did. I have been engaged for about a fortnight" Replied Darcy, smiling and laughing.

"Have you apologised for your insults in your first proposal, then?"

"I have in kind."

"Who is the young lady that Mr Bingley is engaged to?"

"Miss Jane Bennet, Elizabeth's eldest sister."

"The one that you didn't want him to marry last year and in fact tried to separate him from?"

"Yes, the same young lady. It turns out that I separated them on at least one false premise last year, the most important one in the case as well."

"Wow, Fitzwilliam Darcy admits he made a mistake! This is a first" teased the Colonel, but then realised he had made a mistake in teasing his cousin. "I'm sorry. You look like you have the world on your shoulders."

"Sometimes it feels like it. Come to dinner, and I'll tell you about it after dinner. Georgiana will not be joining us, so you'll have to put up with two engaged couples and the girls' father."

"You mean Miss Elizabeth is in London?|"

"Yes, and right now I am late getting home for Dinner, which means that Elizabeth will be there before me."

"Thank you I will happily take dinner with you." With that, they all got into Darcy's carriage and headed back for dinner.

"Darcy, I had a letter from Anne two months ago. She was concerned that she had written to you and received no response. Also apparently your proposal was well known amongst the servants of both the parsonage and Rosings. Have you written to her?"

"Yes, I did write, about six weeks ago. Elizabeth's cousin is horribly indiscreet and apparently mentioned a suspicion that Elizabeth and I were either engaged or would soon be engaged to my Aunt, at the same time as telling her about Jane, and Charles. My Aunt was in a horrid mood about it and travelled up to Hertfordshire with the sole purpose of making Elizabeth promise not to get engaged to me. However she was horribly disappointed as Elizabeth flat out refused to promise her, and so, my Aunt, the same day called on me to try and force me to make the same promise and to denounce the rumour. However unfortunately for her, I chose to confirm the rumour, and to tell her that it was I who was pursuing Elizabeth, and not Elizabeth trying to catch me. Her information had the opposite effect to what she intended, and when I wrote and announced my engagement, she wrote such abusive language and was so angry, that I'm afraid there is a breach between us at the moment."

"Oh dear, that explains Anne's last letter to me. She told me that she was taking over her inheritance and that her mother was in such a high dudgeon that she didn't think that you should be visiting for a while, although she longed to have you come."

"Is Anne alright? I hope she is not suffering under her mother, for I am afraid I rather abused our Aunt for her officious interference and dogmatic attitude to us."

"Yes I think Anne is fine, she is just very much engaged in sorting out Rosings. From what she said in her last letter, her mother has in fact left important business undone, and neglected important improvements. My Brother has gone down to Kent to help her sort out her estate."

"I wonder that she has found time to write to you and my sister, yet I have not received a letter from her."

"That I can answer. Ann has not written, because she is trying to get around her mother, and will write when she can give something tolerable. However, it may well be that she will have to wait for a bit longer."

Just as the Colonel said that the carriage pulled up to the front door, and Darcy jumped out so quickly that the carriage had not quite stopped. He then almost ran inside and found Elizabeth sitting in the saloon, calmly waiting for him. Before he realised what he had done, Darcy greeted Elizabeth with a hug and kiss shocking everyone in the room, for Bingley, and the Colonel had followed him inside. Nobody said anything, though, and Darcy gained control of himself quickly and calmly greeted his future Father and sister in law, and then introduced them to his Cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam to them.

"Pleased to meet you, sir," Said the Colonel, bowing.

"I understand you met my daughter Elizabeth in Kent," Said her Father.

"Yes, sir, I met your daughter at my Aunt's. I must say that your daughter certainly livened to place up." The Colonel though had not yet been told that Elizabeth shared her sense of humour with her Father, and so did not expect her father's response.

"Well, if I did not know better, I might think that my daughter had another admirer."

"Sir, I do not deny that I was much attracted to your daughter when I met her in Kent." Laughed the Colonel, looking pointedly at Darcy who only thought yes I already know about that! Darcy had already been discomposed by finding out about Mr Collins proposal, and only gritted his teeth in case he found out now that his cousin had also made one, but no such admission was made and knowing that he was sure of Elizabeth's affection, Darcy just sat and listened.

"I am sorry, I haven't told you very much of Kent, Papa." Said Elizabeth, "Although you would enjoy Lady Catherine's whims and follies, for she has many of them."

"Yes indeed," Said Darcy smiling, "in fact she is very much like your cousin Mr Collin's only with all the wealth and status that means everyone else bows to her whims."

"Yes, Yes, I believe then that I would enjoy meeting her very much" Said Mr Bennet. "For my cousin is an oddity that amuses me very much."

"You might not say that though papa if you had read his letter to you before Lydia was found." Said Jane quietly.

"Jane dear you left that letter in my library with the others and I did read it and was much offended by much of its content. I assure you I don't always laugh what he writes, but most of it is humorous, though he does not intend it to be."

This last statement reminded both Darcy and Elizabeth of a conversation they had when she was at Netherfield when she had said that she couldn't laugh at his fault in character that he had owned to. They looked at each other and smiled. Dinner was now called, and places at the table were now being claimed. Darcy requested that Elizabeth would take the hostess chair at the bottom of the table. Mr Bingley and Jane sat on one side of the table, and Mr Bennet and Colonel Fitzwilliam sat on the other side. For a while, dinner was quiet Elizabeth and Darcy both appreciating that this was a glimpse into the future. The conversation though soon went in a male bent, and soon the gentle men were discussing the war with France, and speculating whether or not there would, in fact, be a chance for overseas service for many of the Soldiers in the Army.

"Napoleon is pushed back at the moment, the current forces in the field seem to be keeping him at bay, and I read he has been exiled." Said Bingley.

"He was exiled before and came back to torment us" Replied the Colonel. "I suppose we will eventually have to go all out against him. That will mean that every soldier, every officer right up the ranks will be called into overseas service eventually. The question is how long it takes not if. I only wish that we knew. It makes it hard to make any life decisions." Darcy looked at his cousin carefully and noted that there was more in his manner than his cousin was willing to tell. Darcy noted that he would have to talk to his cousin later on.

"Well, that should please Wickham, for then he will have a chance to prove himself in his new position" Remarked Darcy to Mr Bennet. The sarcasm was not lost on anyone.

"Maybe that would bring Lydia to her senses, for her letters to Kitty are nothing more than balls and parties and all sorts of frivolous things. I know that she and Wickham exceed their income" Stated Jane quietly.

"Nothing will bring Lydia to her senses, Jane." Said Darcy. "When I was talking to her, in London, I was convinced of that. If her disgrace didn't wake her up, then nothing will. However, all I can hope is that time will calm her down."

"Time will, Mr Darcy, Time will. It did my wife." Said Mr Bennet. "Lydia takes after my wife in more ways than she realises. My wife though still silly has indeed settled down."

"Oh, I just remembered. Going back to the absurdities of Mr Collins, I just remembered something that was amusing me at Longbourne, when Mr and Mrs Collins dined there last week. You know how he keeps on talking about how my Aunt is his 'noble patroness' and recounting facts about the house, which do nothing, but show how vulgar he is?" Said Darcy.

"How could I forget?" groaned Elizabeth, everyone else just said yes.

"Well, my Aunt is not his patroness," Said Darcy.

"No, indeed, it is our cousin Anne that is his patroness. She pays his wages." Cut in the Colonel.

"Indeed, that is news" Said Mr Bennet, Mr Bingley laughed, as did Elizabeth and Jane.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam, imagine the scene – Mr Collins, is dining with our family. Maria, Lady Lucas, Sir William Lucas, and our Aunt Phillips are all dining. Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley are also there. Sitting at my Fathers end of the table are My Father, myself, Jane, Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley. My good friend Charlotte that's Mrs Collins is sitting next to Mr Darcy, and then there are my two sisters, between us and my mother's end of the table. At my Mothers end of the table is Mr Collins, one side of my mother, and Sir William Lucas the other side, Lady Lucas and Mrs Phillips on their other sides, and then Maria Lucas. Lady Lucas, my mother and Maria, are all talking about Charles five thousand a year and Fitzwilliam's ten thousand a year. Eventually, Mr Collins and Sir William want to make themselves feel better, so Mr Collins starts showing off about Rosings Park, and his 'noble patroness', Lady Catherine. Sir William starts on about St James. So there is a constant jostling about showing off about someone else's wealth and status. Eventually it is so ridiculous that there's not one straight face at the 'sensible' end of the table – that being my father's end." Said Elizabeth trying to keep a straight face long enough to tell the story, all the while Darcy is giving her a look that begs her to laugh, and Jane and Bingley are out and out laughing.

"I wish I'd been there to see it" Laughed the Colonel "Could there be any worse mix of officiousness, and ill-breeding? It's so delicious a mix."

"Come back with us when we leave London, and I'm sure Mrs Bennet could be easily prevailed on to have another such dinner party." Said Mr Bennet.

"I would love to do so." Said the Colonel. "Bingley could I possibly beg a bed with you, for say two weeks?"

"Of course, Colonel Fitzwilliam! You'll enjoy one of Mrs Bennet's dinner parties." Said Bingley quickly.

"Are you on leave at the moment then?" Asked Darcy

"Yes I have leave until the beginning of December, but must deal with business during that time, so I can only afford two weeks at Netherfield."

"If you're on leave until then, you must come down to the wedding on the 5th of December," said Darcy, "and if you can prevail on Anne to come."

"Certainly I'll be able to attend your wedding, but as for Anne, I am not sure that I could prevail on her. She is rather overwhelmed with Rosings and her mother's mood. I'll write and see what can be accomplished, though."

"Thank you" Replied Darcy.

The Ladies withdrew shortly after that, and over the port, the Gentlemen were soon laughing, and Mr Bennet quickly improved his acquaintance with the young Colonel, and all too soon the gentlemen had to join the ladies again. Darcy though left the bulk of the party to entertain each other and called for a card table and a backgammon table so that they could have their choice of entertainments. He then asked Elizabeth to accompany him on a tour of the house. "I fear the house has suffered slightly for being the home of a bachelor," Darcy stated as he led her back into the Dining parlour.

"It's nothing that a few new curtains, and maybe adjusting the ornaments in a couple of rooms, couldn't fix, I'm sure." Said Elizabeth. "The latter of which is not an urgent task" Elizabeth though had not anticipated what she was to find in one room that she was shown. That was the next room that Darcy showed her. Of itself, it was a pretty room. However, age had touched the walls in a way that it needed new wall paper, and the items in it needed to be cleaned up. "This room was my school room when I was a small boy, then it was Georgiana's until the death of my mother, and then my father sent her to a seminary. So this room has been closed up for more than twelve years." Explained Darcy.

It felt to Elizabeth almost as if she was viewing a glimpse into the past. However, she turned to Darcy and said "We need to clean it up and re-decorate the walls. How about moving the school room items to the attic, and putting a small sofa and a writing desk in here? I think this would be a make a very lovely study for me when we are in town. Oh and a few shelves for some books." To these suggestions, Darcy readily agreed, although he begged Elizabeth that when they had any children, it would double as the school room, for them.

Going through the rest of the house, was a matter of course, and when viewing the upstairs, Darcy made a point of giving Elizabeth his mother's rooms, and asking her to re-decorate them as she pleased. However Elizabeth looked over the little sitting room, and then the dressing room, and finally the bedroom with such pleasure, that she finally turned to Darcy "I declare I do not want to re-decorate them just yet. They are just beautiful as they are." Darcy smiled for this was the response that her Father has warned him to expect. "Elizabeth, please take notice that at least the curtains in these rooms need replacing."

"Yes, I've already noted that but then I've noted that all of the rooms so far will need new curtains within the year, so I think maybe it'll be best if we put new curtains throughout the whole house" Said Elizabeth.

"It shall be done for you, my love, and in the morning I shall take you to choose the material for them" And so saying Darcy stepped forward and put his arms around her waist. "See that bandbox on the bed?"

"Yes, dear."

"Please look inside, and tell me honestly what you think" Darcy was anxious to know that the bonnet he had bought for her suited her and that she would like it. Elizabeth slipped out of his arms and sat on the bed and took the lid off the bandbox. Nestled inside was the most beautiful bonnet Elizabeth had ever seen. The bonnet itself was pure white, and decorated with sea shell pink pearls on a bed of pale blue feathers. Taking it out of the box, she then placed it on her head and walked over to the mirror. It was perfect.

Darcy was speechless, the bonnet suited Elizabeth perfecty, and glowed with pride that he had chosen so well for his beautiful wife to be. Elizabeth then turned and put it back in the box and closed the lid. "Would you please do me the honour of wearing it on our wedding day, as part of your wedding attire?" He asked, quite overcome with the effect that it had on him.

"Of course. I was thinking of just that very same thing." She answered.

"Elizabeth I want you to know that everything in these rooms is yours." He said as he led her back into his mother's dressing room, and then he took his mother's Jewel box and handed it to her, "That includes my mother's Jewels." He then pulled her down onto the Sofa in that room, next to him, and he opened the box. Elizabeth was astounded as he showed her diamonds, pearls, rubies, and other precious stones. Going past all of these, Darcy pulled out his mother's engagement ring and placed it on Elizabeth's hand. It was exactly the right size, and so Darcy asked her to wear it as her engagement ring. He then put his mother's Jewels back on the dresser and then led her to other rooms. His rooms were next to hers. They then moved on to view the guest rooms, and then up round even the servant's quarters. Eventually, there was nothing more to be shown to Elizabeth, and so they returned down to the saloon, walking hand in hand.

"So how much is Elizabeth going to change in your house, Fitzwilliam?" Asked Mr Bennet, as they returned to the room.

"Only that which I already knew needed doing" Smiled Darcy.

"And how does she like her rooms?"

"Very well Papa," replied Elizabeth blushing.

"I'll be picking her up early tomorrow to go round the warehouses and choose the materials" Stated Darcy flatly.

"Good, good, and how did the other business go today?" Asked Mr Bennet.

"Very well, thank you. Although I think it'll take a small amount longer than planned" Smiled Darcy. It was at this point that the housekeeper came and said that the servants were waiting to meet Miss Elizabeth. Darcy led Elizabeth down to the servant's hall where they were all assembled, and they were all introduced to Elizabeth, and Elizabeth was presented her ladies maid, who would now be with Elizabeth. As soon as she had Met Elizabeth, she then gathered her small travel box together and went to the Gardiners to prepare herself for when Elizabeth returned to the Gardiners for the night.

Elizabeth and Darcy returned to the drawing-room and found Colonel Fitzwilliam preparing to take his leave, and also Mr Bennet getting ready to leave.

"Well Cousin, I'm sorry I cannot stay later, but I have to get home, and you seem occupied," said the Colonel.

"I'm Sorry, Fitzwilliam" Replied Darcy "however apart from going to the warehouses tomorrow, tomorrow night I shall be at leisure."

"I believe I once told you that it was a hopeless case between Fitzwilliam and myself, did I not, Colonel?" Laughed Elizabeth

"Yes, you did, but now I am beginning to think that you were right." Laughed the Colonel. With that the Colonel took his leave, being engaged to dine the next night again.

"Well Fitzwilliam, May I claim my daughter back, and take her to my brothers for the night." Mr Bennet teased.

"Yes, sir, our business is done here tonight." Darcy Laughed. Elizabeth and Jane then took their leave of Darcy and Bingley, and they headed back to the Gardiners. As they left, Darcy reflected on all the changes that day had afforded. What he remembered most fondly was the way that bonnet had played around Elizabeth's face.

Bingley was not very anxious to stay up, as he seemed to miss Jane considerably when they separated, and it came to a point where he seemed not to want to leave her. He would tell Bingley off but realised that he felt that way about Elizabeth and it would be just more reason for his friend to call him a hypocrite, so he left his friend to himself, and agreed rather that an early bed would be better. Reflecting in bed before he slept, for sleep he would that night, he realised that Elizabeth would be a jewel in the house and that she appeared to be making the transition to its mistress, very easily.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 36**

The next morning as they breakfasted, Darcy found that he hardly had any patience with Bingley, who having ordered his suit the day before and Jane having sorted out materials and trifles for Netherfield had nothing to do that day, but enjoy Jane's company and sort out their guest list for the wedding, was being very leisurely in with his breakfast. However just as Charles was finishing his breakfast one of the servants entered and informed him that the carriage he had sent to be mended had that moment arrived, back. Darcy instantly went and inspected it, and seeing that it was sound and well done, he then instructed a groom, to take the carriage and horses around to the Gardiner's and to give Elizabeth a note that Darcy then wrote to her:

 _My Dearest Elizabeth,_

 _Now you shall know my business here in London._

 _My sole purpose here was for your pleasure. PLease accept mothers restored carriage repaired. Complete with horses and groom in our employ. Never again will you be dependent upon waiting for horses from the field, or to borrow another's carriage to leave a place where you are visiting. As for walking, plase continue for pleasure, for it brightens your eyes._

 _So now this is your carriage, my love - ever at your disposal. Enjoy the independence you will gain,_

 _Ever Yours_

 _Fitzwilliam._

In fact Darcy changed his mind; he wished to see her face upon receipt of the equipage. The servants were told to wait for him. Bingley came with him, and soon they were setting out. The journey to the Gardiners was not long, but JAne and Elizabeth both rushed out the front door to greet them upon their exit from the carriage. Darcy then handed her his note. She gave him and arch look, and tried to look offended, however the smile playing on her lips made that an impossible look to keep up, and instead she laughed, "What Mr Darcy, did I embarrass you walking three miles to Netherfield to nurse my sister?!"

"You might have done if you had been my sister"

"Was it the mud, or the fact I walked alone?!"

Darcy laughed, "Now that depends on who you talk to, for me your eyes were brightened by the exercise, but I wondered about you walking so far alone. Miss Bingley was harsher about your petticoat being six inches deep in mud. Charles just didn't care about any of it."

Elizabeth answered with a laugh and then properly thanked him for the carriage. They then went back into the house, and Elizabeth went upstairs to put on her coat and bonnet, so that they could go to the fabric warehouses together. When she came down, Darcy was taking leave for them both, and her carriage was standing waiting for their little outing. The trip to the warehouse was a successful one, and materials were found to suit every room of the town house. The material was then delivered to the milliners where it would be made into curtains the required curtains. These curtains would be ready by the time that they would return from Pemberley, and so Elizabeth would see how they look in each room. The wall paper for the old school room was also chosen and the sofa and desk bought for the room.

It was not long after the servants were instructed as to the old school room, that those of their small circle started to arrive at Darcy's for dinner. Elizabeth was conscious that she didn't have anything to change into for dinner, however she was able to use his mother's rooms to freshen up. Bingley and Jane arrived first, then the Gardiners, and Mr Bennet. Colonel Fitzwilliam escorting Georgiana and Mrs Annesley, and their party was complete. Georgiana had arrived while Elizabeth was freshening up, so instead of waiting downstairs, she ran up to what were now Elizabeth's rooms. Darcy joined them almost immediately.

"Fitzwilliam, it occurs to me that most of our acquaintance doesn't know that you are getting married..." Stated Georgiana.

"Well that we shall remedy." Darcy turned to Elizabeth, "When we come back we shall throw a ball and announce formally to my London acquaintance our engagement, do you agree?"

"I think it's an excellent idea. Jane and Charles should share our night"

"That would make my night." Said Darcy, and so it was that Darcy asked his housekeeper to find out if there were any other balls for the night they wished to throw the ball. The menus he delegated to Elizabeth.

Georgiana frowned. "Could I join or not? I'm not sure as I haven't come out yet."

"Yes Georgiana, you can join. It's my plan that you have your formal come out this coming season." Said Darcy. "Now, my London business is complete, how about eight days at Pemberley?"

"Really, Fitzwilliam?" said Georgiana "You know I love being at Pemberley it is so quiet."

"Yes, I love Pemberley as well." Said Darcy looking at Elizabeth. "As long as Elizabeth's father is up to leaving on Monday then we will all go up then."

"My Father mentioned that possibility to me last night." Said Elizabeth, smiling.

The three of them then rose and went down to dinner. Georgiana taking her place beside her brother, and Elizabeth once more taking the hostess chair. Conversation was lively and easy, and once the ladies withdrew into the drawing room, the gentlemen didn't want to linger over the port that night, so they fairly quickly joined the ladies, and Elizabeth, Jane, Bingley and Darcy, started drawing up a guest list. Most of the guests were quickly and easily agreed. Bingley wanted none but his own sisters and a close friend or two, Elizabeth was happy with her family plus Charlotte, Darcy wanted his Aunt and Uncle, a few close friends, his sister, and a couple of his mother's acquaintances that he had kept in touch with. Of course he wanted his cousins as well. However Jane who like Bingley had a much more forgiving temper than was good for her, wanted Lydia and Wickham to come.

"I would prefer it if they did not" said Darcy, who wa not yet ready to pretend at happy families with that future brother in law.

"I know, but blood is blood and she is my sister and he is her husband" said Jane.

"Yes but it would take away from my joy of that day, being reminded of all that man has done" Replied Darcy, trying not to show how angry he still was with Wickham.

"Oh dear, I certainly don't want to make you unhappy" Said Jane, "I just wanted all my family there."

"Jane my dear, I think it may be better not to have him there" Said Bingley, who knew the pain that the mere mention of their future brother in law occaisioned Darcy.

"I understand, it would be nice to have the whole family there, but I must say her behaviour last time she was at Longbourne was too painful for me, so I am afraid I too would rather not have either of them there" Said Elizabeth.

"Georgiana, come here a moment would you" Said Darcy, and immediately Georgiana was by his side. "Do you remember how I told you that one of Elizabeth's sisters was married to Mr Wickham?"

"Yes Fitzwilliam"

"How would you feel about him being at my wedding?" Asked Darcy.

"Oh" Georgiana flushed, then went silent, and then said "I... don't... know, I...I... think it would be alright, I wouldn't have to speak to him."

"No of course not." Said Darcy "Jane would like her sister at the wedding."

"Then she should be there, and if he comes with so be it." Said Georgiana.

"That'll make her mother happy at least" growled Darcy. "She'll see the daughter who is most like her"

"Jane, are you sure you want those two at our wedding?" Asked Elizabeth.

"Whatever she's done she is still our sister" Said Jane, "So, yes I would still like her to be there."

"Have you forgotten though what her behaviour was last time we saw her? She has no shame Jane! She claimed your place, spoke to all and sundry about her wedding as if it had taken place in good circumstances. Besides it's almost a given that they'll only start begging for money."

"I know Lizzy, but still she is our sister." Jane was obstinate in her desire to have Lydia at her wedding, and so eventually everyone else gave in and agreed to invite her.

"Jane, they must stay away from me, there is more than you know of why that man is not welcome at Pemberley" Said Darcy "and tell them in the accompanying letter that if they come to the wedding, and even mention money to me he can wave goodbye to any further help in his commission."

"I will tell her that" Said Jane quietly. And with that the guest list was finalised. Elizabeth and Jane would write the invitations, and send their mother the guest list during the course of the following day. The rest of the evening was spent with Elizabeth and Darcy reading books, Jane, Bingley and Georgiana playing vingt-un, and everyone else talking to each other, until the time came for the Bennets and Gardiners to take their leave.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 37**

Sunday Dawned bright and clear. Darcy greeted the day with greater than usual enthusiasm. Before seperating the previous evening, Darcy had proposed a trip to Vauxhall Gardens for this evening. For years he had heard from his friends about Vauxhall gardens. Vauxhall Gardens were an anomaly amongst the strictures of town. Many a rising musician had played or sang there before joining a chamber orchestra or going on to sing in the theatre. It was considered one of the top places to visit in London, and yet there was a seedier element to the vauxhall gardens also. The rules of decorum were often considered to be relaxed while touring the gardens as well as there being ladies of ill repute who used the gardens to illicit customers. This though was barely a consideration to Darcy, as the walks were considered to be very fine and late in the evening the fireworks displays were considered to be amongst the finest to be had in the country. Despite the less than desirable aspects in of the gardens, Darcy looked forward to touring them with Miss Elizabeth that night.

Church that morning seemed interminable. Darcy found that he could hardly concentrate on the sermon. Indeed other than catching the opening verse "Though I speak with the tongues of Men and of Angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass and tinkling cymbals"1 what the actual subject of the sermon was about Darcy could not have told anyone, for all the while he was distracted with the idea that maybe he could find a way to slip away from the group with Elizabeth, indeed his overactive imagination thought of things that he would like to do with Elizabeth that had no place within the walls of a church. Yet his imagination ran wild.

After the service Darcy, Bingley and Georgiana returned to Darcy's and awaited the arrival of the rest of the party. And they were not disappointed, for within half an hour of them arriving home the Gardner's and the Bennets arrived, having attended church at St Clements. They arrived mid-afternoon and whiled away the afternoon in much the same manner that they had the previous evening. The Gardens would not open until 7pm. Darcy he finalised the picnic around 5 o'clock and by six o'clock they were all inside the two carriages that would carry them to the ferry.

They arrived at the ferry early. This meant that they had to wait. Darcy looked at Elizabeth who was looking very attractive that evening. Darcy ached for the time when she would be his wife. Tonight though would be a time for relaxation and pleasure. He had heard much of the gardens, and all would be able to walk to their hearts content.

Conversation was not lacking in either carriage as they waited. In the one carriage the conversation was focusing on the many changes in the Bennet family in the last year, including the event that shortened the Bennet/Gardner holiday in August. In the other carriage the conversation was of the future, hopes and dreams were being discussed by the two couples. Plans for their family party at Pemberley, and even discussion as to whether Miss Georgiana needed Mrs Annesley any longer. It was decided though that Mrs Annesley was indispensable, and even Kitty should have the benefit of Mrs Annesley at least for a season.

Talk then turned to Pemberley. Darcy was very taken with the idea of the phaeton and ponies for those who had not the physical stamina to tour the gardens of Pemberley. He now informed Elizabeth that he had already put in the orders for three new phaetons with the Darcy crest, and he had sent word to Pemberley that six or more new drivers should trained to drive visitors around the park.

Eventually after half an hour they boarded the ferry and went over the Thames and entered Vauxhall Gardens. Darcy paid the entry fee for all of them, including the servants – for once the Picnic was laid for the group the servants were to be allowed to enjoy the delights of Vauxhall Gardens also, it was Darcy's gift to his servants on his wedding. Upon entering the Gardens, Georgiana's attention was caught by the statue of Handel. Her delight was further increased when she saw the paintings that were in the supper booths. Her wonder at each new artistic discovery was rather amusing to the rest of the group, who though interested by no means held the same respect for the arts.

Very soon Elizabeth and Darcy wandered away from the rest of the group. Wandering down the grove they caught their first glimpse of the Golden statue of Aurora. Their senses were overloaded as they walked around the various walks. More than once they took advantage of the lower lighted areas to share a kiss and to express they joy at their upcoming marriage. The walked the rural downs walk and then the Druids walk. They became so engrossed in conversation and nature that they almost forgot to return to the supper booth for 9 o'clock. However they did return on time and sat down to their picnic that Darcy had brought. The only things that they ordered was wine and a few slices of the famous thin cut ham. Each of them enjoyed the trip immensely.

After supper Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bennet stayed with Gerogiana and Mrs Annesley in he supper booth, while the three couples wandered off again. Darcy thought he caught a wistful look on his cousins face just as he and Elizabeth left the booth.

The entertainments that evening included a ventriloquist, and various musical numbers, which all delighted Georgiana very much. They stayed late into the night relaxing in each others company. However, once they arrived back at Darcy house they agreed to be up early the next morning arranging that Darcy and Bingley would breakfast at Gracechurch Street in the morning and before stting out for Pemberley in the morning.

1 1 Corinthians 13:1, The Bible.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 38**

The morning brought Georgiana, Darcy and Bingley to the Gardiners early. The four carriages for the trip to Pemberley were quickly decided to be superfluous and therefore only two would make the journey to Pemberley. The occupants of the carriages would divide according to sex, and so on the outward journey the ladies occupied one carriage while the Gentlemen occupied the other. At every inn there was no delay as their rooms were ready. Darcy had sent Servants and horses ahead so that their journey might be as relaxed as possible. Conversation in the gentlemen's carriage would be sparse as Mr Bennet was not much of a conversationalist and Darcy had suffered too many sleepless nights and so slept most of the way.

Upon arrival Darcy took great pleasure in introducing Elizabeth to his whole staff as the future mistress of Pemberley. After that everyone was shown to their rooms in the family wing. Darcy took great pleasure at opening up his mother's rooms and giving them to Elizabeth, both for the duration of her stay, and as her rooms once they were married.

Elizabeth's joy and love for the rooms was all that Darcy had imagined it to be and yet it surpassed his expectations also. The rooms themselves were decorated in a subdued red, which bordered on a dark pink. The furniture was delicate and very feminine, though not of the most recent fashions. Darcy was convinced that these were the best rooms of the house, however he had promised himself that should Elizabeth wish to change the rooms they occupied that he would do so willingly. The look on elizabeth's face convinced him that moving rooms would not be a consideration and that she was very taken with her rooms as they were.

Before either of them could say anything more Mrs. Reynolds knocked on the mistresses door, guessing correctly that was where she would find the master and the future mistress. She promptly gained admittance and didn't stand on ceremony with young master.

"Sir I have brought the menus for your stay" Started Mrs Reynolds, and then caching Elizabeth's eye she commented, "Well ma'am it seems you know my master more than a little." Only one of such long standing service, who had in many ways become a mother hen watching over the young Master and his sister could make such a comment, referring Elizabeth's visit to Pemberley back in August.

"I suppose I do Mrs Reynolds." laughed Elizabeth.

"Mrs Reynolds, this young Lady is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and I have the very great pleasure of informing you that she has agreed to be my bride." Cut in Darcy

"Congratulations, sir" Said Mrs Reynolds.

"Thank you, Mrs Reynolds." Said Darcy, "and now as Miss Elizabeth is to be the mistress here in less than two months I see no reason that you should not go through the menu's with her in about half an hour. We have all just arrived and I'm sure she would like to relax and freshen up before going through the menus, and so would I."

"Indeed sir, Shall I come to the Drawing room?"

"No, we'll be in the Library" Replied Darcy. With that Mrs Reynolds withdrew, and a shocked Elizabeth just looked at Darcy. "Now, now Elizabeth, What's this I have shocked you?" Teased Darcy, relishing the chance to tease Elizabeth, who was usually teasing him.

"Well Darcy you know that we are not married yet, I am still your guest" Teased Elizabeth back.

"And a very special guest you are!" Smiled Darcy, wrapping his arms around her. He would have given her a kiss had not Georgiana walked into the room at that very moment.

"Oh I'm sorry. I- I- didn't realise you were going to give Elizabeth Mama's room tonight. I came in for a last look around them"

"Don't distress yourself Georgiana," Said Elizabeth, blushing and breaking free. "Come in and look around"

"Georgiana, would you like to choose the gowns of mama's you would like?" Said Darcy. Then turning to Elizabeth he said "My father kept all my mother's gowns, and I had intended to give them to Georgiana. They are no longer in fashion, but they are still in good condition and have a lot of wear. I thought that they would do for morning dresses. Those that Georgiana doesn't want, I would like you to use and get the use of them." With that Darcy opened a trunk that had sat at the bottom of the bed and laid the beautiful gowns on the bed. Each gown was made of fine muslin or silk. Though not in the present fashion and would not do for wear to assemblies or in Fashionable society, some could be reworked in something resembling a fashionable dress for family dinners, others would only do for morning dresses; all would complement the taste of the wearer. One though stood out. It was made of fine lace, over a plain soft sea shell pink silk, Darcy asked for Elizabeth's fan, and when she handed it to him, it was discovered that the fans and the dress were of the same colour.

Georgiana then softly said, "Fitzwilliam, that is a beautiful combination, and one that Elizabeth would look beautiful in."

"Would you like the gown Georgiana?" asked Darcy

"No, let Elizabeth have the gown." With that Georgiana picked out four of the gowns that she remembered her mother wearing, and then disappeared. Darcy unwillingly left Elizabeth to refresh and rest. Upon exiting her room he requested that she would wear that gown later at dinner. She agreed that she would if the gown fitted, which as it turned out fitted perfectly.

It took Elizabeth a little more than the half an hour that Darcy had told Mrs Reynolds. However Darcy waited outside her door and they hurried downstairs, together. The had only been settled in the library a matter of minutes when Mrs Reynolds appeared with the menus. With, what appeared to Darcy, a practiced eye Elizabeth went over the menus, and making minor alterations either to amounts or to some of the items. She acquitted herself well. Thank God that awful job is no longer mine! I hope that she will teach Georgiana how to do the menus with such an ease. He noticed with a small raise to his lips that all the alterations Elizabeth made were reducing the amounts of food that would be placed on the table, thereby reducing the amount of leftovers that should be fed to the pigs. As he watched her, Darcy wondered how he had managed without her since he became master of Pemberley. Mrs Reynolds also quietly watched the interaction of Elizabeth and Darcy. She did not miss the reductions Elizabeth made nor the pride which was beaming over Darcy's face. Miss Elizabeth Bennet had a loyal servant in Mrs Reynolds, who had known for a while that Cook was inflating the amounts that would be put on the table.

Once the menus were completed Darcy and Elizabeth left the library and entered the drawing together. Jane and Bingley were deep in conversation, Mr Bennet was sitting with a book and Georgiana was relaxing with a little sewing. He afternoon had fled from them and now, Dinner was ready. Darcy Escorted Elizabeth through to dinner, and everyone moved through to the dining room. Once more Elizabeth was given the place at the end of the table opposite Darcy, and her father sat next to her. Georgiana sat next to her brother, Jane and Bingley sat on the other side.

"So Lizzy, you seem to be settling in very easily" Teased Mr Bennet.

"Why, sir, I hope you're not inferring anything improper" Laughed Lizzy pretending to be shocked.

"Would it be so very bad if there were Lizzy?" Joined in Darcy as they both blushed.

"Why, I could not answer that one." Laughed Elizabeth. "However it should not be discussed at the dinner table if there were."

Bingley and Jane then joined in the general banter, however Georgiana looked on horrified, not yet understanding sarcastic humour. Georgiana was in an awkwardly unique position. Her brother seemed to relish this show of sarcasm yet he had not until now allowed her to speak to him in such a manner. SHe realised that there was much that she still had to learn. Eventually the joke came to it's natural conclusion and the conversation turned to other things. For the rest of the meal the conversation centred around the war with France.

Georgiana and Elizabeth were singing duets when they joined the ladies. Almost immediately Bingley and Mr Bennet had sat down to backgammon so Darcy sat down with his book, and that evening finished the last few pages that were remaining, and then found the second volume. Elizabeth soon left the pianoforte and picked up the book Darcy had recently discarded, and started reading it. "Now what was it you told me Elizabeth, at the ball at Netherfield? We don't read the same things, or with the same feelings?" Darcy said smiling

"Oh, I did, didn't I?! Were you reading this one?" She had not seen him put it down.

"Yes, actually I have been reading it for the last year. It's the one I was reading when Miss Bingley tried to read the second volume."

"Oh yes poor Miss Bingley. She got bored with her book so quickly."

"You know what I remember most from that night?"

"No, not really. I don't really remember much from those whole four days that was very good!"

"I'm sorry for that. I truly am. Yet the only thing I remember from that night, was not what I was reading though I know I did read that night, I can only remember you and Miss Bingley walking round the room."

"Ah yes, I remember your reply to Miss Bingley's entreaty that you would join us."

"Was it really so very bad?"

"No, I don't think so. Although anything that was remotely like a compliment to a woman other than her she would have called abominable."

"I did mean it as a compliment to you, although it was also meant as a leave me alone to Miss Bingley, for the whole of those four days she was being more annoying than normal. She was trying to tease me about you, while on the other hand trying to gain my attention. I think she was getting jealous of both you and Jane, because you were so natural and real and gaining the attention of both Charles and myself" Said Darcy, turning serious.

"I came to that conclusion a long time ago."

"Ah yes your Character studies, and I almost fear to know what you think of my dear sister"

"I shall wait to know your sister a little longer before I make any judgements"

"Maybe that would be wise."

Georgiana then walked across the room and sat on Darcy's other side, and all private conversation between Elizabeth and Darcy was at an end, so they concentrated on their books. Frequently Elizabeth would make a comment about the book she was reading and an intense discussion would ensue. Georgiana wished that she had read that book so that she could join in the discussion, but alas it was a new purchase that had left Georgiana no time to read it before Elizabeth picked it up. Thus the evening passed quickly and quietly for all.

Upon retiring to bed, Darcy struggled with himself. The temptation to head through the connecting door to the mistresses rooms was strong and more than once did he creep close to the door before loosing his courage and retreating back to bed. No he would keep himself under good regulation that night, but alas sleep would not come. By morning Darcy had finished the second volume of his book and had started on the third. Unknown to Darcy, Elizabeth was having the same struggles as he was and had also resorted to reading to while away the time when sleep refused to close her eyes.

The next morning before breakfast, a tired Darcy and Mrs Reynolds gave a tired Elizabeth a full tour of Pemberley. Although large it was well maintained and only needed new curtains in Elizabeth's rooms.

Over breakfast a letter arrived that altered their plans:

 _My dear Cousin,_

 _Thank you for your recent letters._

 _I have not until now responded as I have taken on the duties of Rosings. Mother is not happy with this! She has caused me a lot of problems, as many repairs been neglected. Our cousin the Viscount has in fact been very helpful, and so has our cousin the colonel._

 _I congratulate you that you won the hand of the fair Miss Elizabeth Bennet!_

 _My health has improved so much in the last month that now I feel very strong, and propose to stay with you, wherever you are for the next two months, I hope this is convenient. I will call at your London house in two days and they should then tell me where you are. Don't worry if you are travelling a lot between town, Pemberley or Hertfordshire, I'm sure I'll catch up with you wherever you are._

 _Your Affectionate Cousin_

 _Anne DeBourg._

Darcy had barely read the letter and opened his mouth to tell Elizabeth, when Anne walked into the Breakfast parlour. The Letter had lost time in being forwarded from the Town house, and so all warning was lost.

Anne though looked radiant. "My dear Anne, welcome. Have you breakfasted?" Said Darcy rising as Anne entered the room.

"Hello Fitzwilliam, no I have not breakfasted yet." Replied Anne "Congratulations, again on winning the fair ladies hand." Giving her cousin a kiss, she then went to the other end of the table and hugged Elizabeth. "I have to thank you Elizabeth. My Mother was so dreadful to those around her, and the bowing and scraping of your cousin only made her worse. However you seem to have given everyone around us courage to stand up to her. After what Fitzwilliam said to her last time she visited him in town, she has been so very angry, but now she's a broken woman. Her sole strength and pride was in lauding her title and power. Mr Collins much needed to lift her spirits. I am now the sole mistress of Rosings Park."

Elizabeth was shocked and didn't know how to respond, but before she could Anne carried on.

"Bother I should have asked to call you Elizabeth, may I?" Asked Anne.

"Of course, however my elder sister is here. May I introduce her?" Laughed Elizabeth.

"Of course, please do." Anne said. Darcy meanwhile had signalled a footman to prepare one more place setting.

"Miss Anne de Bourgh, my Father Mr Thomas Bennet and My Elder sister Miss Jane Bennet" Jane, Mr Bennet and Anne De bourgh exchanged courtesies and then Anne sat down to join in with Breakfast. Jane expressed a wish to visit Lambton and a general expedition was agreed.

So after Breakfast they all set off for Lambton. Darcy and Elizabeth shared memories. His were of boyhood frolics with Wickham, before status marred the boys idyllic lives, hers were secondhand stories that Mrs Gardiner had told her in august.

The not more than five minutes into their walk, did the news spread of the Darcy's of Pemberley touring the village. Nearly every resident decided to pay their respects, Elizabeth quickly renewed her acquaintances from August.

The next day was to be the Lambton assembly, and promises were extracted from all that they would attend. Each face told a story as the promise was given. Bingley, Darcy, Jane and Elizabeth all showed much excitement, Georgiana and Anne both became anxious and Mr Bennet as usual was ambivalent.

A trip to the local milliners for shoe roses, ribbons and other such necessities, was now deemed necessary by the ladies. Ball gowns were not needed but necessary accoutrements to go with them were. To call the milliner pleased to receive and deliver such a substantial order to Pemberley would be to understate the facts, his pride swelled quite considerably.

The errand to the milliners completed the Darcy party retreated back to Pemberley, where a flurry of activity took place for the rest of the day and the following day. Bonnets were re-trimmed, and shoes were prepared. Gowns were chosen. Everything was ready by mid afternoon the next day.

The evening, the gentlemen were ready for a full half an hour before the women. The men were playing casino and positioned themselves in such a way as to command full view of the door. The Mrs Annesley and Mr Bennet would be the chaperones this evening. Mrs Annesley was the first lady to arrive in the drawing room. Georgiana was next. Darcy was absolutely stunned at how mature she looked that night. Anne came next. Last time Darcy had seen her it inconceivable that she would go to a ball. Elizabeth and Jane arrived together. Darcy and Bingley both swore that it was their lady that was the most beautiful.

On their way to the Assembly Elizabeth made Darcy promise that he would dance with young ladies outside of their party. This he promised, though he would not promise to dance every set. They arrived early to Lambton. It seemed to Darcy that this was a rerun of the Meryton assembly a year ago. Once again his party was the most fashionable at the ball. The musicians were good. Darcy as a patron of lambton was requested to open the dancing, which he did with Elizabeth. One look at her face and Darcy knew he was going to to once more be laughed at.

They bantered, half serious and half mocking throughout the whole of their set. Before she could sit Elizabeth and Jane were engaged for the next set. Bingley went and found himself another partner, as well, Darcy sat out that dance, and watched his sister dancing, and booked Anne for the following two dances. When those two dances ended, Darcy claimed his cousin's hand, and their conversation was as follows:

"Fitzwilliam, tell me what made Elizabeth refuse you the first time?" Asked Anne, she had him cornered and was determined to gain the information that she desired.

"I acted badly on introduction, and added other bad behaviours. Wickham of course stirred the…" Darcy coughed realising he was about to use one of Colonel Fitzwilliam's expressions in front of a lady. "That is Wickham gave her his usual sob-story."

"Was it just a misunderstanding then?"

"Despite false premises, she was essentially correct in her assessment of my character. I have endeavoured to correct my faults. I did something that was unforgivable to her sister and should have righted it earlier than I did. As for Wickham, Elizabeth was completely ignorant of his true character. Elizabeth held a mirror up to my character, which showed my whole demeanour towards her was rude and Arrogant. In short I had become epitome of everything I loathed. Afterwards more instances came to my mind which totally crushed me and I could no longer deny being obnoxious to all around me."

"And so your being 'indisposed' on that night she had a headache. Was it related?"

"No, indeed, it's a slight blur now, but I had slipped out to check she was feeling better, and somehow I made that proposal to her. I had intended to offer my hand, but not that night. It tumbled out of me before I knew what I was about; I insulted her with some of my expressions, and attitudes. Her refusal and reasons gave me such a shock that I walked in the park for nearly four hours afterwards, not being able to comprehend all that had happened. It was then I realised that I had a headache. Things started to sink in, just as I began to feel extremely unwell, my behaviour made me sick to my stomach. Although I no longer know whether or not it was my behaviour or the illness that made me sick, at the time I thought it was my behaviour."

"So, she did have her part to play. Mother had no idea; she convinced herself that you didn't want to leave Rosings"

"I didn't, but not for the reason she thought" Darcy grinned ear to ear.

"I think there was enough evidence You and Miss Elizabeth had a relationship of some kind. For her manner after that was strikingly altered. She seemed… almost morose. Again my mother construed it to be about leaving Rosings."

"Did Elizabeth mention me?"

"No, she did not"

"You say the servants overheard My awful proposal?"

"Yes, and what is more your collapse created a definite gossip mill amongst the servants! Mother won't hold her tongue in front of the servants , so eventually my maid mentioned it to me worried. It was then that the servants threatened to tell my mother that you had offered your hand to Miss Elizabeth. Two of them had to be paid off, and threatened that they would lose their jobs if they said anything. It was settled and we kept it from my mother eventually. I don't know what she would have said or done. Though I understand from our cousin's letters there was many an anxious wait by your bed while you were ill."

"Nobody has told me how bad I actually was"

"I understand there was one week where they wondered if you would come through it"

"Oh dear the strain on Georgiana."

"I understand she sat next to your bed as long as she could"

"When I wasn't sleeping I was going over the events from last summer through to last spring, I was so unwell, and unable to let anyone know when I was awake" This was said just as their paths crossed with Elizabeth and her partner, and she gave such a look of alarm that Darcy knew he would have to explain it later on, but now he had not the chance. Bother! I didn't want Elizabeth to know about my illness!

"Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam told me all, apparently you kept calling for Elizabeth, and then called out the names of Miss Bennet and Mr Bingley"

"Yes, I at first justified my actions there, but eventually I came to see how absurd it was that I had acted in such a way. I have so many regrets... This will not do." _I have been such a selfish ignorant bastard! How could I have hurt so many that I claimed to have cared about._

"I will now change the subject. Elizabeth's Cousin is a scandal monger! It was he who came to my mother with the tale that you would very soon be engaged to Miss ELizabeth. Mother was angry, and she at first wanted to say that Elizabeth was ill-bred, but when you said what you did to her, she could not say that you were ill-bred. She came home and took it out on me. She told me it was my fault and that I should have been more accomplished, and that I should have better conversation etc. This I could not take and I told her if she had not been such an overbearing woman I should have been healthier and that I was in fact able to play the piano forte, and was more accomplished than anyone knew of."

"I'm glad to hear it, but why did you not make it known?"

"I could not. Mama insisted on telling everyone how sickly and weak I was, so I had to play the part, and the longer I played the part, the weaker I got, and eventually I knew that I had to do something. I was only looking for the opportunity to do so"

"So mine and Elizabeth's frankness with her actually helped you then?"

"Yes, I suppose it did, mind my mother is also very frank."

"Yes, indeed. From what Elizabeth has told me her frankness insulted Elizabeth, and then when she came to see me well she again was insulting to Elizabeth and then to me, I'm afraid I was way too frank back to her."

"Yes, it seems to be a family trait that we speak our minds freely. I hope Elizabeth is not as outspoken as we are!"

"Well in that my dear cousin you will be disappointed for if anything she is more than we are. Tell me honestly; is it true that Mr Collins thought it necessary to tell my Aunt and you about what Wickham did to Lydia?"

"Yes I'm afraid he did. I personally was affronted because he seemed to be congratulating himself at having escaped being in the immediate family"

"What ignorant rudeness, did he not realise that by being related he was tarnishing his own reputation – especially given that he was spreading the story"

"No indeed! He was just congratulating himself that Elizabeth had refused him"

"I'm so glad he didn't know every detail"

"What do you mean?" Asked Anne surprised.

"Only that there is more to that story than most of the family realise." and so they talked their two dances away. It transpired that despite the lack of gentlemen none of the ladies of the party lacked for partners and so danced the whole night away. Darcy danced most of the dances, Bingley danced every dance, and Mr Bennet danced a few dances, as also did Mrs Annesley. The whole party had a very enjoyable evening. Bingley danced most with Jane, and Darcy danced most with Elizabeth. Anne and Georgiana circulated, but never danced with the same gentleman twice. The Lambton assembly closed earlier than the Meryton one and the Darcy carriages arrived first.

The rest of the pemberley visit was spent in morning visits and choosing material for the curtains Elizabeth wanted in her room. Elizabeth's Lambton acquaintances became family friends as they became acquainted with the rest of the Pemberley party. The evenings were spent in wedding plans, and quietude. All too soon they were all on the road going back to town, and Darcy and Elizabeth looked forward to the end of November when they would remove to the elegance of their family party at Pemberley, and so for two days Elizabeth and Darcy and Jane and Bingley talked of nothing but their plans for their honeymoon and domestic arrangements once they were married. It was fortunate for Mr Bennet that the carriages on the return journey were arranged such that the two betrothed couples travelled together, while Mr Bennet rode in the other carriage with Georgiana and Mrs Annesley.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 39**

Returning to Town was bittersweet for all. Letters from Mrs Bennet and Kitty awaited Elizabeth, Jane and Mr Bennet. Mrs Bennet had without any restraint gone overboard. All the letters had to be answered and the plans calmed down. Any overlooked invitations now urgently needed to be sent, and were duly written that night. They then all separated for bed, Darcy and Bingley going on to Darcy's town house. Georgiana, being exhausted by the trip, stayed with the Gardiners that night and, would go onto her little establishment the next day.

When the next day dawned the plans that had been so had to rapidly change. Due to business commitments the Gardiners were required to leave town on business for a few days, and would not return until a few days befre the wedding. This required the young ladies and Mr Bennet to stay at Darcy's town house. For the ball was to be the following night. The cards had been sent to Darcy's London acquaintance while they were at Pemberley, and the supper organised. They breakfasted at the town house, and the day was spent in leisure, for the whole party planned to use the gowns and things they had used for the Lambton ball, not expecting anyone beyond their immediate party to be at both balls. Ann had promised to come to the ball the next day, but was staying with the Fitzwilliams at their town house.

The next morning Darcy found himself, Elizabeth and Georgiana in last minute preparations for the ball. Meats and soups, puddings and vegetables occupied a large part of the day, as did the moving of furniture, and other such domestic plights. Charles and Jane escaped the house and went for a long walk in Hyde Park, with Mrs Annesley as their chaperone. Mr Bennet escaped to the library, and so Darcy Georgiana and Elizabeth managed all the arrangements without interruption. Anne arrived dining parlour had been transformed ready for supper. When everyone retired to dress for the ball, Anne waited quietly in the saloon, where all the sofas and furniture had been moved to the side of the room, for the ball. The ball room had been opened up, and was looking beautiful with the tasteful decorations that had been placed around it. Indeed as Anne wandered between the ballroom, the saloon and the other rooms which visitors were to be allowed to use, Anne noticed how Elizabeth had put her stamp on the decorations even if only quietly. Most of those invited would not notice for it had been many years since the ballroom had been opened, or much entertaining had happened in this house at Grosvenor Square.

Elizabeth, Darcy and Georgiana had barely changed and taken their places to receive their guests when the front door opened to receive the first of their guests for the evening. The first to arrive were the Hapsburgs. Sir and Lady Hapsburg had been very good friends with Darcy's mother Lady Anne Darcy, and now they arrived with their two daughters and two sons. The eldest son was in fact two years older than Darcy and had become engaged six months ago, but for unknown reasons the wedding was postponed for two years. The youngest son was a handsome man of about two and twenty. He seemed to be very much taken with Georgiana, who looked very becoming that night. The two sisters were handsome girls of three and twenty and six and twenty. They were introduced to Elizabeth speedily and then they moved into the ballroom quickly. Others then arrived and soon the principle guests had arrived and it seemed that people were arriving very much slower. The last guests to arrive were the Fitzwilliam's. The Colonel had had last minute business which had delayed their party, and unfortunately they arrived in the middle of the first dance, which as the host Darcy had been obliged to open, and did so with Elizabeth. Darcy danced every dance, and so did Elizabeth. However there had been a couple of occasions when Jane had been obliged to sit out. Georgiana and Anne danced every dance, and Charles sat out a couple of dances.

Halfway through the evening everybody moved through to supper. The change that supper brought was both unwelcome and traumatic. Elizabeth then leaned over and whispered to Darcy, "How many women here are speculating on your ten thousand a year?"

"It won't do any of them any good, since it's already yours" Whispered Darcy back. "Mind I think there's many of the gentlemen who envy me you" Darcy then stood up and rapped on his glass to get everyone's attention.

"Thank you all for coming this evening. I know that many of you were confused why this young lady next to me was part of the receiving line this evening. It is now my very great pleasure to announce that this young Lady, Miss Elizabeth Bennet is my Fiancée. We became engaged mid-September and will be married on the 5th of December. It is with the greatest pleasure that I add that we will not be the only couple wed that day. My Best friend Charles Bingley will be Marrying Miss Eizabeth's elder sister Miss Jane Bennet in the same ceremony." Elizabeth then stood up next to Darcy and Jane and Charles stood up on the other side of the room, as everyone clapped and wished them congratulations. This declaration was followed by several rounds of congratulations and toasts to the happy couple. Supper itself followed, however, they had not long sat down after the announcement when Lady Hapsburg came and sat next to Darcy.

"You know I was your mother's best friend?" She started,

"Yes, I remember" replied Darcy.

"When your mother was dying she gave me charge over four letters. Two would be destroyed and two would be given on the occasion of your getting engaged and married." She said.

"I was not aware of that. Although it seems in character of what I remember of my mother." Replied Darcy.

Lady Hapsburg now produced the two letters that were to be given. One was for Darcy, and one was for Elizabeth.

 _My Dearest Son,_

 _As I am dying before you are even old enough to think about choosing a wife, I have to cover every possibility. I wish to inform you that if you are reading this letter, then you have gladdened my heart by your choice, as I am sure you have followed your heart rather than your overbearing aunt's wishes. I never wished for you to marry your cousin, though it was easier for my sister to think that I went along with her wishes. I am sure that the young lady is a delightful young woman I would dearly have loved to live and to meet. I hope son that she will liven up your disposition, for already you are showing signs of being far too sober and thoughtful than is good for a young boy. Anyway congratulations my son. In trust right now there is the sum of twenty thousand pounds as a gift of dowery for your bride. I did this as far too many Gentlemen's daughters are suffering from lack of dowry due to the changing political and financial landscape and my dearest wish was for you to follow your heart my son. This is to be part of her marriage settlement – in fact it is to be over and above any settlement that is arranged by you or her father. Since this money will be held in trust for her until such a time as you marry the young woman who claims your heart, there will be considerable interest on these twenty thousand pounds, so I do not know what the final total will be._

 _Congratulations my Son,_

 _You affectionate Mother_

 _Lady Anne Darcy._

Elizabeth had read the letter that was handed to her, and was so overwhelmed all she could do was hand it to Darcy

 _To the Future Mrs Fitzwilliam Darcy,_

 _I claim all the freedom to write here as a mother to her future daughter in law. Since you are reading this letter I can say that I am very happy that my son has made his own choice and decided to follow his heart rather than what he was told to do by my sister. To you it will seem that I am talking from the grave, it grieves me that I shall never meet you. My son has a good heart and needs a good woman by his side that will nurture his generous and caring nature. Please look after him for me._

 _I have arranged a wedding gift for you at my solicitors, my husband and best friend know the particulars. My wedding present to you is twenty thousand pounds, held in trust to add to whatever fortune you have in your own right. Knowing my sons heart, I expect his choice to be disinterested from fiscal advantage. Congratulations on capturing his heart and thank you for making my son happy. You have warmed my heart this day, and though I am writing this letter when he is but fourteen years old, I know that he will choose wisely. My heart is warmed by the thought of his marrying the woman that he loves._

 _Please take my daughter under your wing, and be kind to her. A young lady needs a confidante, and since I cannot be around for her please look after her on my behalf._

 _Congratulations,_

 _Lady Anne Darcy._

It was as they laid aside these letters from Lady Anne, that Darcy's Attorney handed him the paperwork for the trust and monetary gift from his mother for his bride. He also informed Darcy that the forms to do with the settlements were ready for signing in the morning. This however was the last of anything pleasant that would happen that evening. At that moment a servant came into the room bearing two expresses. One for Mr Bennet and one for Darcy.

 _Dear Fitzwilliam,_

 _For now I may call you that, you being my brother in law. Think how happy your father would be if he had ever thought that we would become brothers. Your father was after all so fond of us both, that I am sure he wanted us to become brothers. My wife and I though cannot get away to attend your wedding as you attended ours, I would like to be able to attend, yet I am required to stay for training. Also the prospect of overseas service means that none of us are given more than a single day away at the moment. The lively and wonderful Elizabeth will be a wonderful bride for you. I wish things had been different, for had I more fortune you would not have been able to ask Elizabeth, for I would have asked her to marry me._

This last sentence made Darcy so angry that for a minute he could not attend to the rest of the letter.

 _My wife and I are highly indebted to you for the part which you played in bringing us together though, and will always remember it fondly._

 _My dear Fitzwilliam, I would appreciate it if we could repair the breach between us, for we were once very close confidantes, and it would do our children good to grow up closely as we once did._

 _Congratulations on your forthcoming Nuptials,_

 _George Wickham._

Darcy wanted to screw the letter up and destroy it, however he wanted Elizabeth to read it, and thereby put an end to any regret that Elizabeth may have. Elizabeth read it, and was as angry as Darcy himself, however barely had they read that, but Mr Bennet made his way across the room.

"I'm sorry Mr Darcy, I'm going have to leave tonight, as soon as possible." He began.

"Not bad news I hope"

"I'm afraid it is. My daughter Mary has been attacked and my wife is as usual being overly anxious. However my daughter, Kitty, has not asked for me to go home, but just informed me of the situation. I feel though I should be at home, with my wife and daughter."

"Of course. Does Kitty say how bad Mary's injuries are?"

"No." Relied Mr Bennet. Darcy looked about to leave himself, and gather Elizabeth, Jane and Charles but Mr Bennet went on to say "No, No stay and join me later. You are the host here and it will look very peculiar if you were to leave in the middle of your own ball."

"True, I'll arrange that we will join you as soon as may be." Said Darcy, anxious now for he knew that Elizabeth would be wild to get home as soon as she knew.

"Mr Darcy, please could you keep the information from the girls until after the ball? I wish them to continue enjoying themselves." Said Mr Bennet who himself was so anxious to be home that he barely dismissed himself before he quit the supper room leaving the letter for himself, which enclosed letters for Elizabeth, Jane, Charles and Darcy. Darcy though folded the letters into his pocket and turned his attention to the rest of supper. After supper before the dancing returned a few of the girls sang, and then the dancing resumed. Darcy danced once more with Elizabeth, and hated propriety stating that he could not dance more than three dances with his betrothed. He did his duty and danced with many of his other following supper he left the ball for a few minutes and gave the instructions for all of their trunks to be packed and the carriages ready to leave as soon as the ball was over. However it being a town ball it carried on until the early hours of the morning. Darcy although anxious to join his future father in law, had to wait for the visitors to disburse. However at length they started to leave and soon there was nobody left but his cousins the Fitzwilliam's, His Cousin Anne, and their own party, as they sat down in the saloon, Darcy soon began:

"Jane, Elizabeth, Charles and everyone else I'm afraid we will have to leave now, tonight to go back to Hertfordshire" Began Darcy "I'm afraid there's been some drama at Longbourne and it now needs our attention" Jane looked horrified, but couldn't speak, Charles and Elizabeth just waited for more news. Darcy then read Kitty's letter to her father out loud.

 _Papa,_

 _Please do not be too alarmed, but rather please write and advise me. Mary walked into Meryton last week, and while she went from the library to the Milliners, she was attacked and managed to get to our Aunt Phillips, where until we can get a carriage she will remain, not being able to walk very far. Mama is doing too much on the wedding plans, and so I seem to have to arrange everything. I know not how to do this. Please write back and tell me what to do._

 _Kitty._

After reading this out loud Darcy then gave out the rest of the letters included. However no one attended to them as they were all agreed that they should leave that instant. Georgiana begged to come with as well, and sent to her little establishment that a trunk should follow her. Anne and the Fitzwilliam's agreed to arrive at Netherfield the week before the wedding, and then they were all in the carriages travelling back to Netherfield and Longbourne. Georgiana and Darcy, wished to be of more use than simple day visitors, so as soon as they arrived they begged to be able to stay at Longbourne. Darcy knowing that his abilities did not run to nursing the sick, so he offered to aid with the estate so Mr Bennet could attend to his daughter. Elizabeth wouldn't sleep and as soon as it was a decent time to call, Elizabeth took her own carriage and collected Mary. Georgiana and Kitty organised Mary's room, leaving Mr Bennet to try to sooth his wife, whose nerves were overset and once again had sequestered herself in her rooms. Jane took over all the wedding arrangements. On leaving town Darcy had left word with the two legal men that they were to bring the papers to Longbourne.

Two days later, Darcy, Jane, and Elizabeth rode over to Netherfield leaving Mary in Georgiana's hands, and their mother with their father and younger sister Kitty. As soon as they entered the saloon though Miss Bingley started up. "Why Mr. Darcy, you all look so tired!"

"And so we might Miss Bingley" Replied Darcy. The business with Mary and the estate had been such as that none of them had much more than three hours sleep a night. However Mary's attacker was soon found to be one of the gypsies that had recently been in the neighbourhood, and was tracked down by trying to sell Mary's watch, which had her name engraved on the back. Mary appeared to be recovering quickly, but the full extent of her injuries would tell in the months ahead. However for the moment the ladies were taking turns to sit with Mary throughout both the night and the day.

"Darcy, come and sit down." Said Mr Bingley who was worried for all of them, for he being a daily visitor there, knew that none of them were getting very much sleep with all that was happening there. It transpired that in the course of the conversation that Miss Bingley had nearly suffered Mary's fate when she visited the Meryton Milliners. However the servants had seen what was going to happen and drove her attacker off. However when they sat down Jane who had least sleep, leant on Charles shoulder, and fell asleep.

"I'm glad to see her asleep" said Charles, "I would hate for her to get sick again."

"Charles, I think there's no danger of that, we have shared the work and the burden in such a way as none of it falls on any one person's shoulders. Most of our sleep disturbances are either a change in the person sitting with Mrs Bennet, or with Mary, or else it Mrs Bennet's hysterics."

"So why do you not stay here Mr Darcy?" asked Miss Bingley.

"It's less of a strain on the family, plus I am of more use not having to interrupt everyone as I come and go. By staying at the house, you can fit in with the family easier." Stated Darcy flatly. _Plus I can avoid you as much as possible!_ "Besides Georgiana is actually helping to nurse Mary, and I am needed there as well" Elizabeth smiled at this, for as soon as they had entered the house, barely had they met Kitty and their Father, but Darcy took charge and did as much as he could to take the burden off her Father and herself. In fact Georgiana and Darcy now had made themselves so very indispensable, that Mrs Bennet was beginning to wonder what she would do when they left. This however would not be until after the wedding, so none of them worried about it much.

"My sister tells me that there is another Meryton ball on Saturday" Said Charles, who was eager for another chance to dance. "I hope we can plan to be there"

"Why, Charles," Cried Miss Bingley "I'm sure there are those here who would think it a punishment to go to such an unfashionable assembly"

"You, Caroline need not go, but as for the rest of us we shall make our own decisions" Said Charles.

"Well, I for one shall be going, and I hope Elizabeth that you will promise me the first two dances" Said Darcy

"Why, Fitzwilliam, I shall be delighted" laughed Elizabeth. "And shall you dance with others?"

"Of course, but I shall in fact have eyes for only one lady in the room" teased Darcy.

"Mr Hurst, shall you and your wife be going with us?" Asked Miss Bingley

"We never miss such engagements" Said Mr Hurst. Miss Bingley soon found that she was on her own in not wanting to go, and so contented herself planning her dress that day so as to show how much the woman of fashion she was, and hoped that this being the last ball she would attend with Darcy before he was married, he would notice how much better she was than Elizabeth. However this was not to be, for the more she tried the more she affronted Darcy.

They didn't stay at Netherfield over long as they needed to visit Mrs Phillips before going back to Longbourne, and so the carriage was called, and Jane woken up. The ball was then put to Jane, and she eagerly agreed that she would like to go. THey looked forward to the ball with the utmost excitement, for although they knew that Mrs Bennet would be exposing herself if she recovered in time, and Mrs Phillips and Mrs Long would show their vulgarities and yet it would be a night where they could, although under the watchful eye of the chaperones, talk freely dance and relax in each other's company. For Elizabeth and Darcy, Jane and Charles it would be the first ball at Meryton they had been to since the Netherfield party had left November last year, and they eagerly looked forward to how the Netherfield party would be received. This would of course be Georgiana's first entrance into the society of Hertfordshire, and Darcy was anxious that she should not give the same impression that he himself had done. However before they could start looking forward to that Aunt Phillips had to be visited, and so when the carriage stopped outside Mrs Phillips they all exited the carriage and moved upstairs to Mrs Phillips small but comfortable home. Mr bongley accompanied Elizabet Jane and Darcy.

This was the first time that Darcy and Charles had visited Mrs Phillips apartments, and soon Charles and Mrs Phillips were in conversation. Elizabeth and Jane though were eager for news, and so very soon Jane began "Aunt, have you heard any news since we came away?"

Mrs Phillips all too eager to give all the gossip, answered the enquiry quickly "I have heard that another Militia is to come to Meryton next month, Maria has caught the eye of a young gentleman who works for Mr Phillips, Mary as you know was attacked, however she did catch the eye of another of the young gypsies that were here, but it was nothing but a mere dalliance on either side. Kitty has been to dine here regularly as has your mother, and the Lucas's. It is a shame that you weren't here, for the ball last month lacked some of its lustre without you, Elizabeth and Charlotte Lucas. It seems that the best jewels of our countryside are leaving us."

"Aunt are you going to host any suppers in the next month?" Asked Elizabeth,

"No I'm afraid I have no reason to host any such, since the Militia left us." Replied Mrs Phillips, and then would have gone on to talk to the girls about how fortunate they were to attract men of fortune, when Darcy recollected that they mustn't be away from Mrs Bennet too long. And it was discovered that they had been out for most of the morning, and so their excuses were hastily given and they quickly escaped back to the carriage, and set off back to Longbourne. Once back at Longbourne it was soon discovered that Georgiana had gotten Mary to sit in the drawing room for a time, and though she was still much shaken up by turns Mary started to improve. However it was Mrs Bennet's voice that greeted the party as they entered the hall.

"My dear Mr Bennet, how good it is that Mary is up. I don't know though how we shall cope when Lizzy, Fitzwilliam and Jane leave us. The house is not the same without them." Said Mrs Bennet.

The party didn't hear Mr Bennets reply, but Mrs Bennet's reply was thus "I don't know why you prefer Lizzy, but yes the house will be too quiet once they go. I don't know what will become of us"

The Party now entered the drawing room. "Congratulations Mary, I'm glad to see you're up and about" Said Darcy.

"Thank you sir. My misfortune it seems has brought us all together" Said Mary

"All except Lydia and Wickham" said Elizabeth, hoping that they'd sent something better than what they had sent to Darcy a few days ago. "Have you heard anything from them?"

"No indeed" said Kitty. "You know Lizzy that they don't think about anyone but themselves."

"True." Said Elizabeth and the conversation was dropped. Kitty now looked very thoughtful.

"Lizzy" She said at length. "I've been thinking. I cannot work things out. If you listen to Mr Wickham you would think Mr Darcy to be very bad indeed, but somehow it doesn't fit with how he and Georgiana have behaved here with regard to Mary, also you wouldn't have gotten engaged to him if he was so terrible. I cannot make sense of it." Everybody looked uncomfortable, and Elizabeth was about to answer Kitty, when Darcy answered.

"Kitty, there's always two sides to a story, and Mr Wickham has in fact not told the truth. "Said Darcy.

"No Indeed not" Cried Georgiana, "I'm ashamed to say that what he did to your sister, he nearly did to me the year before, and before that he resigned any right to the living two years before it became available, and my brother only refused to give him the living when it became available because Mr Wickham had taken a financial settlement instead." Everybody sat in shock at this outburst from Georgiana. "My brother has spent so much money on discharging his debts, and covering his indiscretions."

"It is so" said Darcy who was surprised that Georgiana should have spoken out so, and wondered how much more he would be able to protect her. "Although Georgiana you should not have told about what Wickham did to you"

"Oh Fitzwilliam, I'm sure they'll keep our secret" Said Georgiana

"Yes, indeed" Said Mrs Bennet, and everyone trembled that Mrs Bennet would tell Mrs Phillips, who would then tell it all over town. However Mrs Bennet was in too much awe of her intended Son in law to spread his secrets, and she was in fact too grateful for how he and his sister were helping them through this time, and therefore wanted to make the village think well of them rather than sinking their characters.

"Mrs Bennet, are you aware that there is a ball at the assembly rooms on Saturday?" Said Charles

"No I was not aware that there was Mr Bingley." Replied Mrs Bennet, who after all her nervous complaints, had not had the news yet.

"Well I found out about the ball yesterday, and between us all we have a great desire to be there, I shall be taking my sisters and Mr Hurst. Darcy I'm sure will be taking Georgiana, so Please could your girls join us?"

"Lizzy, and Jane it is a given will be there if you, both are and I don't see any reason why Kitty should not accompany you, but Mary I'm not sure if she will be up to it yet" replied Mr Bennet.

"Will you and Mr Bennet not be going?" Asked Darcy

"No, I don't think I shall be, as for Mrs Bennet I fear her recent problem with her nerves might prevent her." Answered Mr Bennet.

"Indeed, my nerves are quite raw, you young people should go without me." Said Mrs Bennet

"Thank you Ma'am" Said Mr Bingley. "We shall arrange that we all arrive together."

This news made them all excited, and it being the last ball before Jane, Elizabeth, Charles and Darcy were to be married they were all even more excited. Miss Bingley and the Hurst's then arrived, as did the Lucas's, for tonight was to be a dinner party. The next to arrive was Mr and Mrs Phillips and Mr and Mrs Long, and last of all to arrive were the Collins'. Charlotte being in an interesting situation made dining out an awkward business, and often lately they were in fact late to a dinner engagement because of it. Tonight however though they arrived last, they were in fact before time, and Georgiana had time to meet and get acquainted with all the members of the dinner party. This dinner Party though was not to be much different to the one before they went to London. Mr Collins and Sir William Lucas were next to Mrs Bennet again, and still they tried to jostle to show off with the wealth and status of those around them. The Hurst's said nothing, Miss Bingley said as little as possible, Georgiana and Kitty had a hearty conversation, and the Phillips' and the Longs were trying to jostle to talk about Mr Bingley's five thousand a year and speculate on how well Charles and Jane would be situated. However Darcy and Elizabeth were thankful they knew little to nothing about how they themselves would be situated since the Pemberley estate was so far north, none of them had visited it. The whims and follies of that end of the table though, were not noticed that night, for the war in France was raising concern that the soldiers would soon be ordered overseas. "Sir, what do you think the likelihood of more of our soldiers being sent over to France before the year is out?" Asked Darcy

"Well, as you know the French troops are attacking our troops in random skirmishes we need to deal a fatal blow to them. It should be done before the end of the year" Replied Mr Bennet

"I concur with that, but I doubt it will be." stated Darcy, but before he could say anything else Jane cut in worriedly "That would mean that Wickham will go out to war – am I not correct?"

"Indeed Jane you are, and what that means for Lydia I can only wonder." Stated her father joining her in worry. At this point the ladies finished their dinner and left the company. Leaving the men to continue their discussion about the French war and thereby to speculate on what this might mean for Wickham and Lydia. However it was not a subject that Darcy wanted to dwell on very much so most of the time he sat back and either listened or spent his time speculating about his future with his wife to be.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 40**

Saturday arrived and Darcy gained a new appreciation of life with a gaggle of females. The day was taken up with preparation for the ball and other than a very quick breakfast, Darcy did not see Elizabeth until they were ready to leave in the evening. Although Mary had not completely healed from her traumatic experience, she had become determined that she would once again take her place in society, and attend the Ball in Meryton. MAry would not be gainsaid on the matter. The whole party of Darcy's, Bennet's and Bingley's assembled in the Bennets drawing room a little before 7pm that evening. In total it took three carriages for the party to travel to Meryton. Fitzwilliam Elizabeth, Mary and Georgiana went in the first carriage, Charles, Jane Kitty and Miss Bingley went in the second and Mr and Mrs Hurst went in the third. They travelled together and Entered in the ball in the following order,

"Mr Darcy, Miss Georgiana Darcy, Miss Elizabeth Bennet"

"Mr Hurst, Mrs Hurst"

"Miss Mary Bennet, Miss Catherine Bennet"

"Mr Bingley, Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Caroline Bingley"

Having arrived early the party moved and collected themselves around a table, which would double as their supper table. However five minutes before the dancing was to begin there was a pleasant surprise for the party, and one that although Darcy had arranged it, he was saguine that it would happen.

"Lord and Lady _"

"The Viscount and Vicountess Milton"

"Colonel and Mrs Fitzwilliam." Those of the Darcy, Bingley and Bennet party that knew Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne deBourgh registered shock. No one had been aware of a wedding having taken place between the Colonel and Miss deBourgh. Yet there she was standing tall and regal next to the Colonel and announced as Mrs FItzwilliam. The Colonel immediately spotted Darcy and moved his own party over to meet them, requesting for introductions to those who he was known.

"Sir, may I ask where you are staying?" Asked Fitzwilliam.

"We're staying at the inn here in Meryton" Answered the Earl.

"And will you be staying until the wedding?" Asked Fitzwilliam

"We will indeed. We all wish to know your lovely bride much better, and since you and Georgiana are here until the wedding we have no reason to leave."

"Then sir, I am sure my friend Mr Bingley will not mind if I offer for you to stay at Netherfield Park since you are to stay so long" This invitation Mr Bingley swiftly seconded, however Lord _ was firm in his refusal "We are perfectly comfortable at the inn thank you, and since I understand you to be at the young ladies house, it will be better for I understand that Meryton and Longbourne are but a mile apart, a short walk"

"Yes sir, however my fair bride Elizabeth has proved to all of us that Netherfield Park is within walking distance, being in fact only three miles from Longbourne." Replied Fitzwilliam looking proudly at Elizabeth

"Sir I ask that you will not press me further on the subject for I am quite determined that I shall stay at the inn, and not put anyone to any inconvenience." Replied Lord _

The dancing commenced to begin Fitzwilliam could not have argued any longer had he wished to, for now he was to claim Elizabeth for the first two dances, Charles claimed Jane, and so all the couples assembled in the middle for the first two dances. Fitzwilliam was proud to notice that Georgiana was partnered for this dance, as were all of the young ladies of their party and throughout the ball the whole party were favoured to be not without partners. The gentlemen being entirely necessary, for once more there were not enough men, leaving more than one lady without a partner during the dance. Mary however only danced two or three dances, due to not having long recovered from her injuries, and though she was asked several times more she steadfastly refused to dance having found herself quite fatigued after her ordeal.

Supper however made Fitzwilliam blush and Elizabeth too. For almost the moment that the Earl had walked into the assembly room, there had been whisperings around the room and speculations as to who he was. The fact that Fitzwilliam and his party were on intimate terms with the Earl and his family had been revealed from the manner of greeting they had exchanged before the dancing began, and so at supper Sir William Lucas soon approached the party.

"Mr Darcy, I would like to meet the visitors to our little assembly" Started Sir William, who had at that moment still not been introduced although many of the ladies around the room had met the Earl.

Fitzwilliam said nothing in reply but instead simply turned to his uncle, waited for his uncles approval and then said "Uncle, may I present Sir William Lucas, Sir William, My uncle Lord _"

"Pleased to meet you sir," Started Lord _ "I am happy to meet some of my nephew's acquaintance around these parts, and I would eagerly like to hear more of my nephew"

"Well sir, I'm happy to oblige" said Sir William "Your nephew is a charming young man, although to be honest many people around here did not realise how charming he was until recently. "

"I am surprised to hear that" Said Lord _, but before he could say more Sir William carried on

"When he first arrived, he managed to offend one of our principle families the Bennets, with his behaviour, and then a word went around that he was proud and above his company here. His friend here was very agreeable, but not so your nephew. For my part, I always thought him to be a charming young man, but most of the society around these parts thought him to be very proud, and then after Mr Wickham told everyone how badly Mr Darcy had treated him they nearly all without question condemned your nephew as being the worst of men. I'm sorry sir, but that is how it was." At this point Elizabeth interrupted Sir William "Mr Wickham had fed us all with enough half-truths that we all believed his lies. He has such a pleasing way of putting forward his case, and your nephew has behaved very properly not telling his private dealings to all and sundry." This didn't stop Sir William though, "I don't know sir if you know Lady Catherine De Bourg, but my son in law is a parson at Rosings"

"Indeed sir, your son in law must be Mr Collins?!"

"Yes he is sir, and when I visited him in May I must say that Lady Catherine herself was very generous and condescended to invite us to tea several times."

"Indeed sir, I believe my sister did in fact write and tell me about her parson and your generous visit to his Parsonage" This news surprised Sir William as hitherto he had not known that Lord _ was indeed the brother of Lady Catherine De Bourg. "Indeed I understand from my sister's letters that your son in law has been a marvellous help to my sister at times."

"I'm really glad to know that sir, Miss Eliza is Mr Collins cousin you know?!" Now it was the Earl's time to be surprised, for hitherto he had not realised that Mr Collins was cousin to Elizabeth, and suddenly a new idea opened up to him, and he laughed heartily.

"Sir, May I ask what is so funny?" Inquired Fitzwilliam of his uncle

"My stuffy sister who always thinks meanly of others who are of a lower rank than herself, and who has always treated such people with contempt will now be related to her parson and her daughter who she wanted to marry you has been secretly married for months. It's hilarious!" laughed Lord _, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam immediately caught onto the joke, for though they had not thought about before, it made perfect sense given her behaviour a month previous just before Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth had gotten engaged, however it now seemed highly ironic given that the Colonel had little to no fortune of his own, being the younger son of Lord _.

"I'm afraid sir, until recently I was much too much like my aunt for my own good" said Fitzwilliam as the laughter subsided,

"Ah, but you saw the error of your ways, I can see that" answered Lord _.

"Only due to this beautiful woman to whom I am engaged sir"

"Well then I must say a big thank you to this beautiful young lady" Said Lord _, and as the dancing was about to start up again Lord _ asked Elizabeth for the next two dances, which she gladly accepted, during those two dances Elizabeth was asked so many questions about her family, her connections, her cousin at Huntsford, and other such minute inquiries that she felt like she was under a microscope.

While ELizabeth was dancing with the Earl, Fitzwilliam was cornered by his aunt who was quizzing him on his relatioship with Miss Elizabeth. _I suppose mother and Father would have been doing this were they alive. Oh how I wish that they were alive today._ At the end of the two dances Lord _ seemed to be happy with the answers she had given and Fitzwilliam's aunt seemed to be pleased. The rest of the evening passed off pleasantly enough and soon the ball closed, and they were heading back to Longbourne for the night. Just beforethey all wen their separate ways Darcy whispered to both Anne and the Colonel "I want a full account of how and when you two were married! You've both been exceedingly underhand"

"You'll have it tomorrow, Darce" the Colonel replied.

Upon their return to Longbourne Darcy was surprisd to see the Mr and Mrs Bennet had waited up for their party to return home. "Well, Mr Darcy, did you have a good night?" Asked Mr Bennet as they entered the drawing room.

"Yes thank you sir, my uncle Lord _ has arrived and his whole family attended the ball, it seems that my cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam and my cousin Anne have been secretly married for months. I believe they are planning to stay until the wedding, I'll visit them tomorrow, and may I invite them to dinner here tomorrow night?" Fitzwilliam asked.

"Of course you may, consider this your home while you are with us" Replied Mr Bennet.

"Pray, Mr Darcy, could you tell me what I should order for dinner tomorrow?" Asked Mrs Bennet

"Thank you Ma'am, but just a normal family dinner will be fine" Replied Fitzwilliam. He was already dreading his uncle meeting his future mother in law, but knew that it could not be avoided, and started planning to bring in a few other guests.

"So, tell us about the ball" said Mrs Bennet, she would have asked about the muslins, and headdresses and lace, however her husband always stopped her whenever she described finery, this though was not a worry as Catherine and Georgiana were more than ready to supply all the details of the finery and who danced which dances and who they danced with. Mr Bennet soon rose and left the room; Fitzwilliam also tired of such a discussion very quickly rose and excused himself to go to his room, for discussions of waistline heights, lace fine muslins handmade net and Machine woven nets were only interesting to him as far as his sister and bride were concerned – despite his understanding them for the milliners in bond street had displayed their dolls very prominently showing their skills of the most recent fashions, and he had commissioned Georgiana's dress which should be ready by next week.

Upon going upstairs Fitzwilliam had found himself far from being ready to sleep and totally unable to deal with the business that had arrived from Pemberley that morning, so he stretched himself out on his bed and closing his eyes he savoured the memory of Elizabeth that evening, how beautiful she had looked in that delicate white muslin dress and that simple diamond necklace. Her headdress that evening had been exquisite being made of two tortoiseshell combs and which had been fastened to red ribbon and several white roses all going straight across the top of her head. A smile spread over his lips as he remembered how she had been admired by all in Lambton and he wished that he had been a more effusive man, for he longed to tell her how beautiful she had looked, yet such compliments never came easy to him.

His reverie was soon interrupted by a knock on the door, and not feeling like moving he simply called "Come in"

"I came up to say goodnight, Georgiana has already gone to bed and my mother and Kitty will continue talking about the ball for a while yet." Said Elizabeth, slipping into his room shyly.

Fitzwilliam shifted on the bed slightly and motioned for Elizabeth to come and sit next to him, which she did after closing the door behind her. Fitzwilliam took her hands in his and then pulled her down to give her a kiss, which she responded to warmly. Something inside him knotted now as she pulled away slightly and he saw reflected in her own eyes, the same longing and desire that at that moment was coursing through his veins. He knew that he should show her to the door now and yet he felt like he could not move he was so transfixed by that look that he saw in Elizabeth's fine dark eyes, it was that saucy teasing look that had so beguiled him long ago, and now tinged with that longing that he saw in them he felt absolutely powerless to do anything but drown in her eyes, and without knowing what he was doing he slowly reached up and removed the combs and pins that held her dark hair in place and as her dark hair fell around her shoulders and framed her face her eyes shone all the more brightly, and he felt every nerve in his body respond as she gently traced the line of his face, and his chin. He was powerless against the exquisite emotions that were running through them both. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her and whispered hoarsely "Mrs Darcy" in her ear. She laughed and leaned into his arms. He pulled her down and as she lay in his arms, he knew that he never wanted to let her go. A soft knock interrupted this pleasant reverie though and quickly Fitzwilliam grabbed her hair pins and combs and placed them in a draw of his dressing table, knowing that whoever it was should not see them on his bedside table, as they had been placed. Then they sat sedately on the ottoman at the foot of the bed and he called "Come in".

"Oh, I'm sorry, may I come in?" Asked Georgiana softly when she saw Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam together.

"Yes, of course you can" Replied Elizabeth,

"I wanted to ask you both some advice" She said quietly

"Go ahead" Said Fitzwilliam

"Well I know I can refuse to dance with a gentleman if I do not wish to dance that set of dances, but what if I wish to dance that round, but do not wish to do so with him, because he cannot dance well or I really cannot like him, or he puts his hands where they should not go?" Asked Georgiana

"Well, propriety says the if you refuse to dance with him then you cannot dance with anyone else for the rest of the night. However if the man is truly repulsive," here Darcy noticed a shiver go through Elizabeth, "I would refuse him. The only time when this does not apply is when that set has already been reserve by another gentleman prior to the immediate one" Replied Elizabeth

"Oh dear" Said Georgiana

"Georgiana, has someone done something they shouldn't?" Asked Fitzwilliam

"I don't want to upset you"

Fitzwilliam pulled Georgiana down onto the ottoman with him and Elizabeth. "Come, you know that I won't be upset with you."

"Well there was one gentleman tonight, I danced with him once and every time we were in a corner he moved his hands very quickly and so very unpleasantly, I refused him the second time he asked and sat out that dance, but I never want to dance with him again" Said Georgiana. Elizabeth recognized what was being done and mentioned a gentleman's name and though Georgiana could not say for definite it was him she said she thought it was,

"I'm sorry Georgiana, I should have warned you not to dance with him, for he is truly an unpleasant man and Jane and I have our fair share of his 'attentions' on the dance floor." Elizabeth looked concerned.

Fitzwilliam hugged both Georgiana and Elizabeth "It's nobody's fault, I'm not angry and you acted very wisely Georgiana in not dancing with him again and sitting out for that dance." He realised that he should have been angry at the man for what he did, but having his two favourite women sitting next to him he found that he could not be angry even if he wanted to, for he had succumbed to all the charms of a beautiful woman and he knew that his sister was equally as beautiful as Elizabeth. At that moment in time nothing mattered to Fitzwilliam but being right where he was.

Georgiana left soon afterwards.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 41**

Barely had the door closed behind Georgiana but Darcy nuzzled into Elizabeth's neck. _Finally my little sister has gone to her room. She's seen too much already. Hmm Elizabeth you are here where you should be, oh that you wouldn't return to your room tonight._ "Now Mrs Darcy, where were we?"

Elizabeth looked impertinently at Darcy, "I believe you were about to kiss me, before Georgiana interrupted us"

The twinkle in Elizabeth eyes left Darcy in no doubt that she was hinting at more than just a kiss. This was just too much for him. He stood up and swept Elizabeth up into his arms and moved them both swiftly to the bed. He placed her gently on the bed and then lay down beside her, and leaned in to Kiss her. He started off with very gentle kisses, but it didn't take long before their kisses deepened. Darcy pulled back briefly, and halfheartedly whispered "You should leave" Elizabeth's response shattered all rational thought from both of them.

"Yes, I should, but I cannot. I love you, FItzwilliam." This was the last answer that Darcy had expected, and inflamed both of their passions to new heights. Both knew that this was a defining moment. Three weeks until their wedding seemed too long. Without rational thought They moved in sync tugging at each others clothes and touching, caressing every part of each other that they could reach. Despite the temptation to rip Elizabeths dress Fitzwilliam knew that it could not be done without exposing their actions that night, so he struggled and won the fight against the small buttons at the back of Elizabeth's dress.

Elizabeth didn't leave his room at all that night, and both fell into a very deep slumber after their activities. "Elizabeth" Darcy mumbled as he awoke. He had dreamed so often of waking like this with Miss Elizabeth by his side that he was reluctant to open his eyes and find that once again this woman in his arms was only his imagination. Elizabeth was not having any of it. She rolled over and gently nuzzled into his chest.

"Yes, love. I'm here." She murmured into his chest. Slowly his eyes opened. _Mmmm so last night was not a dream. It actually happened. I cannot feel guilty for it, though maybe I should._ Darcy's arms gently tightened around Elizabeth as they started their day together. _Our wedding is still too far away. I wish to wake with Elizabeth like this every morning._ They shared a lingering kiss, with the temptation to repeat the activities of the night before strong in both their minds. A gentle scratch at the door and a note slipped underneath broke their world. Jane had woken early and was bemused that she initially could not find Elizabeth. Georgiana had provided the missing link as to where Jane would find Elizabeth. Knowing that if Elizabeth had spent as long as she suspected in Darcy's room, then requesting entry would embarrass all and expose Elizabeth and Darcy. Jane had discretely penned a note and then slipped it beneath Darcy's door. Elizabeth slipped from the bed to pick up the note and then hurried back to the warmth and to get an extra cuddle or two before she had to discretely slip out of Darcy's room without being seen. Darcy languidly looked over Elizabeth's shoulder as she opened jane's note:

 _Lizzy don't forget that we are all due at the Lucas' for tea this afternoon._

Seeing the simple note Darcy nearly chocked on his laughter. Such an elegant way of warning them that her presence had been noted, yet if the note was seen by anyone else it would not say anything other than an appointment that had been made at the ball last night. As one they both moved to exit the bed at the same time. Elizabeth hurriedly threw on her last nights clothes to be able to slip back to her own and room, while Darcy gazed in wonder at the woman that in his mind only lacked the formal declaration as his wife. They shared one more deep kiss before she slipped from his rooms "I'll see you at breakfast my dear" Darcy whispered as she slipped from his rooms.

 _Ah my sweet wonderful Elizabeth. Mine in all but name._ Darcy could not keep the smile from his face. That made his Valet shake his head in wonder as to how he managed to shave himself that morning. However twenty minutes after the Elizabeth had left his room Darcy was up and dressed, and making his way down to the breakfast parlour, where Elizabeth was waiting with a sly smile on her face. Darcy could not help but give her a quick kiss before he proceeded to the side board to collect his breakfast.

"Well I hope you both slept well last night?" Mr Bennet said as he entered the dining room, just in time to witness the intimate moment.

"Y Yes sir" Darcy answered. _Damn where did that slip in again? I conquered my stammer long ago! Deep breath man!_ "Very well"

"Thank you, yes papa" Elizabeth said, blushing.

Mr Bennet's smirk at the couple told them that he was a not unaware of what had gone on the previous night. _Oh God! Does the whole house know what Elizabeth and I did last night? Why can they not allow us to be ignorant of their knowledge?._ Darcy wasn't sure quite what tipped Mr Bennet off to his thoughts but he was pulled out of them by a friendly slap on the shoulder from the older gentleman "Relax Darcy, I'm not going to reprimand either of you. However should you not show at the alter in three weeks time I might revisit my words" Darcy could not help a grudging admiration for Elizabeth's father who had just thrown down the gauntlet on Darcy's honour. Darcy would not take the bait though and simply nodded his head. "Oh, and one more thing. Both of you need to be a little more discreet! My room is next to yours Darcy." Darcy blushed as he realised what Mr Bennet had just said and memories of more than one exclamation coming form them last night. _Hmmm thank you, I hadn't realised we were so loud last night. You try and stop me from being at the alter! Elizabeth is mine! Mine! Mine! I love her more than life itself. Only death would stop me from being there!_

After breakfast the whole party made their way to the Longbourne church, where neither Darcy or Elizabeth attended to the sermon. They spent the time sneaking admiring looks at each other and counting down the days until they would stand at the front of the church and publicly proclaim their vows to each other. The sermon seemed to drag, although the Vicar could not have been speaking for more than 20mins. Eventually the service ended and Darcy, Georgiana and Elizabeth chose to walk to Meryton to visit with his uncle before the afternoon engagement with the Lucas'.

When they arrived at the inn they found that the only members of the family present were Colonel Fitzwilliam and Anne. Upon entering the inn Fitzwilliam embraced his cousin, while the ladies of the party all exchanged the customary curtsies. "So FItzwilliam, tell me everything! When did you two become engaged and when did you marry?" Darcy was itching with curiosity for although the Colonel had always been eager to visit Anne, Darcy had not noticed that the two of them were anything more than cousins.

"We became engaged at easter two years ago. We could not marry until Anne had reached her majority and had come into her inheritance. We wished to have Lady Catherine approve of our match, but that would never be while she held hope of you marrying Anne"

Anne took over the narrative from her husband. "The wait was killing us. We had devised years previously of a way to get letters to each other without mother's eyes reading every word, and then Two years ago Richard declared his love. He hadn't intended to, but it poured out of him one morning while you were riding the estate to see what needed doing. Richard had been almost permanently drunk that visit and I was determined to find out why. WHen he finally admitted that he was jealous that Mother was so desperate to marry me off to you, I took action. I had long admired Richard and so when we finally declared our love for each other, I couldn't have been happier. For two years all we had were the letters we shared. Then you came to Rosings this year totally besotted with Miss Elizabeth. Richard and I saw our chance. We knew that once you declared yourself to Miss Elizabeth and she accepted that she would be so incensed at the idea of being related to the lower gentry that our hasty, secret wedding when it came out would be a relief."

Fitzwilliam took back the narrative. "Everything went according to plan. Collins married us, by special licence, secretly one morning while you and Miss Elizabeth were meeting for one of your walks in the park. None of us expected Miss Elizabeth to refuse you hand the first time, nor did we expect your illness. Anne and I decided not to announce our Marriage until after you were engaged. That longer than we thought that it would. Mother and Father were the first ones we took into our confidence and told what we had done, and slowly the circle widened as to who knew and who didn't. I had forgotten that you didn't know, couldn't know being so ill as you were"

Elizabeth looked upset. It took Darcy a few moments to realise that although Anne had mentioned it in front of Elizabeth at the Lambton ball, Darcy still had not explained as to his illness following the dreadful proposal at Huntsford. Darcy squeezed her hands lovingly and whispered in her ear "in a moment." Then louder he turned to Fitzwilliam with a large grin, "Aunt Catherine came to Longbourne to try to force Elizabeth to promise not to get engaged to me, yet all the while her precious daughter was no longer able to marry me. This is sounding more and more like a shakespearean comedy." Elizabeth and Georgiana just shook their heads.

"FItzwilliam Darcy, I cannot go another minute without your explaining to me about this famous illness. Twice now I've heard mention of it, yet I still have not had anything from your lips about it" Elizabeth indignantly exclaimed.

Darcy leaned over and kissed her soundly. FItzwilliam and Anne gently coughed to remind them they were not alone, and Georgiana blushed and looked away. Blushing and breaking the Kiss Darcy said "My love, I had been feeling to slight indications of a fever the day before and the same day I proposed in Huntsford. I had not thought it very serious, and was worried about you getting sick when you stayed away from Rosings that day." Glaring at Fitzwilliam, "Now we know why you had the headache. It was so far way from why I had been suffering. Anyway I gradually got worse and by the time as we reached London I had to be carried into the house."

Georgian spoke up then "I had such a fright when he and Richard arrived back at Darcy House. Normally Fitzwilliam jumps out of the carriage before its even stopped, but that day I don't think he even knew where he was. He gave no resistance when he was carried up to his room. The Drs said that it was only a bad cold, bit he was so distressed, Elizabeth. The only words that came out of his mouth for a month and a half was when he was either calling for you, or mumbling about your sister and Mr Bingley. For a while we all" here she burst into tears, Elizabeth and Darcy both pulled her into a shared hug "for a while we all feared that the worst might happen. There was no fight in him"

"I'm sorry for causing you so much grief poppet" DArcy mumbled into Gerogiana's hair. "The pain was just too raw. After about a week my mind had cleared sufficiently of the fever that I was able to think again. However it was then that the pain ripped through me. My world looked black and I could no longer see a future. The only words that went through my brain like a mantra was that Elizabeth hated me, Elizabeth had refused me. I was condemned to live my life alone. All the painful memories that I had so carefully hidden behind walls in my mind flooded my memory. Once more I saw Jeremy's lifeless body on my school bedroom floor, I saw Mother in her coffin, and my tortured brain morphed fathers face in his coffin, into my own. It was like a living death to me. I wanted ELizabeth beside me, but could not ask for her. Visions danced before my eyes of Jane and Bingley suffering becuase of my actions. I cried out, yet no one heard. I was in my own lost world, like I had been after Jeremy's death. I felt fractured into so many little pieces. Slowly my mind put together the things where I had some guilt to play and needed absolution, and things that I needed to change in my character. Only once that happened did I physically begin to mend. I knew when you and Richard were beside my bed, but I had not the strength to even so much as open my eyes. My heart was so burdened. Through out it all the one presence I most needed was the one that I felt most keenly that they were not there"

During this emotional revelation of the pain that Darcy had carried, not just those last few months, but since his friends death at school, the rest of the earls party had arrived. The Darcy's and ELizabeth in such an intimate embrace and the pain that rippled out from Darcy made them stop in the doorway. Silence fell over the room. Each person feeling as if they had failed the rest. None moved. None knew quite what to say.


	41. Chapter 41

**THank you to all of you for bearing with me. Please remind yourselves of earlier chapters as the first 16 chapters have now been re-written.**

It was the Colonel who broke the stupor that had fallen over the room, his brash army lifestyle meant that he forgot the sensibilities of the ladies present. "Bloody hell Darce! None of us knew that you were suffering that much!" As one the Ladies turned and gaped at Fitzwilliam, none of them having been exposed to such language in their lives.

"Why would any of you, except Georgiana? Not one of you thought that I might be hiding my emotions, that I might actually not be as strong and confident as I portrayed to others! After mother and Father died, all any one was worried about was did we need help on the estate. Not once did anyone ask if I was coping with my own emotions! Georgiana and I were left to cope as best we could." Darcy's countenance was fierce. Their guilt for not realising his pain was in his opinion too little too late.

"Darce, that's unfair! You hid your emotions too well. We could have no idea" Fitzwilliam defended.

"You didn't even think to ask!" Darcy Responded.

"It's ok Richard, we do hold some guilt in this, Darcy is right. Marjorie and I should have known that he would be in so much pain. We knew that there was pain after Jeremy died. Darcy had nearly two years where he did not speak at all. We should have known then that he would always carry the pain inside. Anne was worried about Darcy. She died not knowing that he would regain his voice or what a strong young man he would become. She often asked Marjorie and I to look after him after she was gone. I'm so sorry we failed." The Earl said. The viscount and his wife excused themselves as she was not feeling well.

Elizabeth checked her watch and found that if they did not leave soon they would be late for tea with the Lucas'. Not entirely sure of the protocol of removing themselves in the middle of such an explosive revelation she spoke with a quiet force that brought everyone together in a rush. "This is something that we will have to revisit at a later time. Right now I'm afraid that if we don't make a move our good friend Sir William Lucas, will think that we all intend to slight his family. We are in danger of being late for tea." Darcy's uncle was reminded of his own wife when they were young, and knew that Elizabeth was heading to be a leader in the Ton.

"Uncle, Aunt. Please would you join us at Longbourne this evening for family dinner?" Darcy asked. Elizabeth seconded the invitation, and the invitation was duly accepted. The Earl's family was to use their carriage to go to Lucas' lodge and Darcy begged them to take Georgiana with him. He was desperate to spend some time with Elizabeth on his own. This was agreeable to all, and though they all set off at the same time Darcy and Elizabeth chose to walk and so would arrive last.

The walk to Lucas lodge was gentle and agreeable. The road and then lane that led to Lucas Lodge bordered a wooded area. As soon as they were away from the town Darcy and Elizabeth stepped off the main road in favour of the trees. Darcy's emotions were raw. His revelation back at the Meryton inn had exhausted him. He had placed an untenable burden on Elizabeth's shoulders. He needed absolution. He needed her. The trees helped to calm his tortured soul. He had always loved being in the woods, and now another image was burning it's way through Darcy's mind. He feared that he was a beast. For all he could think about was taking Elizabeth against one of those trees. Eventually he broke the silence. "Do we have time to talk before we carry on to Lucas lodge?"

"Not as much time as our discussion will need. FItzwilliam, my love" They had stopped and looked at each other. Both knew that their thoughts were running in a similar direction. ELizabeth looked so lovely, and was again gently caressing his jaw in her gentle way. Her eyes were sparkling, but he could see his pain reflected in her eyes. He could not resist her siren call, not now. Not at this time. Drowning in her eyes, he shut away thoughts that they would be late and forgot all propriety. As he slowly showed her how much he truly loved and needed her.

Despite their little interlude, Darcy and Elizabeth arrived at Lucas lodge at the same time as Jane arrived with the Bingley's. Caroline Bingley seemed to be in high dudgeon, but Mr Bingley and Jane kept her in line. Mr John Lucas however seemed to take it upon himself to get Miss Bingley to smile, and to that point spent the whole of tea time with Miss Bingley. Indeed it seemed for some strange reason that he had become enamoured of the Viper, and pursued her most relentlessly. Mr Collins had left to go console Lady Catherine who was one her own at Rosings while Anne was here in Meryton, so the ever sensible Mrs Charlotte Collins was able to go abroad in society without blushing for her husband every five minutes. However it was now clear that she was increasing so she often missed events of the social calendar. Sir and Lady Lucas were everything hospitable and kind and adapted to there elevated guests as much as if they had met members of the peerage every day. By 5pm everybody took their leave, but would meet again for supper at Longbourne that evening.

When Darcy and Elizabeth arrived back at Longbourne, the house seemed to be eerily quiet. Darcy and Elizabeth almost ran up the stairs and that was when they heard it. There was the sounds of retching coming from Marys room. Mrs Bennet's wailed were the only other sound that penetrated through the doors. Elizabeth looked at Darcy. He moved her passed the door and pulled her into his room. "Oh Fitzwilliam, just when I think things cannot get any worse" Elizabeth cried.

"Hush my love we don't know what it was that we just heard" Darcy stated. _Although if I ever get my hands on that bloody gypsy they will not live to see the light of another day as between the retching sounds and Mrs Bennet's wails we can guess what it bloody means._ Just as he was about to kiss Elizabeth the door bell was pulled. Elizabeth sighed and pulled away. They both made their way down stairs and met Mr Bennet in the hallway. Mrs Hill was just admitting Mr Phillips head clerk, Mr Jones. Mr Jones blinked at seeing the small group in the entrance hall. "Mr Jones, Welcome. May I help you?" Mr Bennet asked.

"Yes sir. Might I have a few minutes of your time, please?" Mr Jones wrung his hands. Darcy felt sorry for him. This young man seemed to have so little self confidence, and Mr Bennet's sense of humour would not help him. There was nothing that Darcy could do to make his way easier.

"Certainly. Please would you follow me into my study?" Mr Bennet didn't wait for the young man to answer before he moved off to his study on the right. Mr Jones dumbly followed.

"Your father's going to eat him alive, especially if he's here to do what I think he is." Darcy smiled an enigmatic smile, which he knew would inflame Elizabeth's curiosity further. She arched her eyebrow, and stood there waiting for him to tell her. He smiled back and then turned to return to his bedroom. Elizabeth though would have none of his tricks, however she decided to play him at his game and ran up the stairs, passed him without a second glance and made to head into her room to start preparing for supper. Darcy grabbed her around her waist as she went passed and pressed a firm kiss to her lips.

"You sir can be the most infuriating and maddening man alive!" Elizabeth declared, before once again advancing towards her room.

"Well, I suppose you don't want to know what I overheard last night then. I suppose I shall have to just keep my information and you will have to wait until after supper for your father's announcement" Fitzwilliam threw out casually as as he stood in his open bedroom door.

"Ach! This had better be good" Elizabeth stated. Entering Darcy's room.

"Oh it is" Darcy closed the door. He and Elizabeth sat on the ottoman in his room. "Last night Mary spent most of her evening with our Mr Jones that is now speaking with your father. I heard her explaining what had happened during the attack. Deliberately I made sure that no one came near where they were sitting. The attack was more horrific than we realised. What she told him, it made me cringe and want to apologize for being male. Last night they agreed to marry. He's more aware of what the possibilities are than any of us are, or at least should be" He drew Elizabeth into a quick hug, and then they separated to prepare for supper.

 **Part 1 has now been Published under the title of The Darcy Legacy: 1811-1812 How It All Began. Part 1. :)**


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank you to you all for bearing with me. I am sorry for the lack of updates for a while. I had an exam at the end of February that I needed to study for. Also, the first part of this book was published on kindle, and other ebook platforms at the end of January. Anyway, thank you all for your patience. Enjoy this chapter, and as always raw and honest reviews are requested and needed and appreciated.**

Mary's engagement to Mr Jones was, as expected, duly announced over dinner.

The next morning Darcy only briefly saw Elizabeth and Georgiana. His attorney and Mr Gardiner's attorney had arrived together with the papers for the settlements, and so Darcy and Mr Bennet repaired to Mr Bennet's library. They were satisfied with their content they signed them, and then Darcy and his attorney completed the paperwork on his mother's bequest to Elizabeth.

"Mr Bennet" Started Darcy's attorney "The late Mrs Darcy, when she was dying, foresaw such a circumstance as her son falling in love with a woman who may not have a fortune of her own and provided in her will that a bequest should be put aside for his future wife. This bequest your daughter was informed of at the ball at Mr Darcy's house in Town and all that remains is for Mr Darcy to sign that she will maintain all control of the Twenty thousand pounds that his mother has willed over to her once they are married."

"Mr Bennet" Started Darcy's attorney "The late Mrs Darcy, when she was dying, foresaw such a circumstance as her son falling in love with a woman who may not have a fortune of her own and provided in her will that a bequest should be put aside for his future wife. This bequest your daughter was informed of at the ball at Mr Darcy's house in Town and all that remains is for Mr Darcy to sign that she will maintain all control of the Twenty thousand pounds that his mother has willed over to her once they are married."

"I am perfectly ready to sign that paper and to do so willingly, and totally." Said Darcy

"Well...I don't know what to say. Mr Darcy, you have surprised me, I had no idea. However, I can see where it is you get your generous nature from now." Said Mr Bennet shocked. "But is this certain?"

"Yes sir quite certain, I wasn't aware of it, and I apparently wasn't to be aware of it until such a time as I had made my choice. You see when I and my Cousin Anne de Bourg were born my Aunt got it in her head that we would marry; thereby uniting the two estates of Pemberley and Rosings. As I grew up partly from the pressure of being told who to marry and partly from the fact that my cousin was just not attractive to me, I determined early on that I would not marry my cousin. My mother was not aware of that and put in place two plans. The one plan was that my sister's fortune of Thirty thousand pounds would be boosted to fifty thousand pounds if I married my cousin Anne, and in the other plan, my bride would have the extra twenty thousand pounds on top of her settlement as a personal fortune. My mother was a gentle soul sir, and she wrote a letter explaining her intentions, making clear that she had disapproved of my Aunt's schemes. My Aunt though is a woman of strength and domineering Character who does not take no for an answer, so it was easier to ignore her and not marry anyone – until I met Elizabeth and fell deeply in love." Explained Darcy

"Yes, indeed. The late Mrs Darcy was so concerned that her son should marry for love that she had sought our advice several times, and when she was dying that she wrote the letters.." Said the Attorney. Darcy now took the paperwork and signed the documents relating to his mother's last bequest, and his mother's gift then became a part of Elizabeth's settlement, and also signed his new will and all other legal documents about the wedding.

"You see sir, Elizabeth will never want for anything," Said Darcy smiling, being now secure that he would not only have his bride but also seeing how safe and comfortable Elizabeth would be for the rest of her life. She could and would have the best of everything, for she truly was his only object. Pemberley would be hers until her death – nothing else would do! Especially if he died before her and he had re-made his will in her favour and specified as to how his fortune would be divided on the point of his death. His Eldest son would inherit the Townhouse immediately on his death, but the Pemberley estate would pass to his wife if he died first, and then to His eldest son on her death. If he only had daughters, then Pemberley and the townhouse would pass to his Eldest daughter after the death of Elizabeth if she survived him, and on his death, if he survived Elizabeth. As for his fortune, the bulk of his fortune would pass to the Eldest Son (or Daughter if he had no sons) with the Pemberley Estate. However, the rest of his children were to have an equal share in the sum of one hundred thousand pounds. Darcy now had organised everything to his satisfaction and to more than the satisfaction of his future Father in law who in these sessions had witnessed how determined and fair Darcy was in dealing with his business.  
Upon leaving the library two hours later, Darcy and Mr Bennet retired to the morning room, where the family was assembled. Charlotte and Maria had come back with Elizabeth and Georgiana, and his uncle and aunt who had met Elizabeth by accident in Meryton had also agreed to come back and visit for a while. However being aware that he had not dealt with his Pemberley business, Darcy merely invited his Aunt and uncle to dine with them that day, and for the rest of the week. They readily accepted for that night, and most of the week, they were already engaged for Tuesday and Thursday, as dinner engagements were coming in from the surrounding neighbours. Darcy then went and dealt with the Pemberley business that had arrived the previous day but had not been processed due to its non-urgent nature and the ball being held that night. Darcy practically ran to his room and re-read Mrs Reynolds letter and also the letter from his steward. The first letter had been jointly addressed to him and Elizabeth and would be easier dealt with together, this was because it was things that Elizabeth as the Mistress of the house would be dealing with. He was about to call for Elizabeth when he thought that it might be more politic to discuss this with Elizabeth later on after dinner when they could finally get time alone and so he turned his attention to his steward's letter. This letter was much more to the point. There was trouble in the kitchens as two of the scullery maids had been caught stealing from the kitchen and had to be dismissed, one of the footmen also had to be replaced due to his not being an honourable enough young man to represent the noble house of the Darcy's. The trout stream had less trout in it than it should have, and poachers had been caught poaching some of the trout and other fish in the rivers. A decision needed to be made whether he wanted the Law to deal with those poachers and whether Darcy would press charges. This Darcy decided should be done. The other servants also must be replaced, and between Mrs Reynolds and the Steward new servants must be hired to replace those they were losing. There was an unpleasant shock for Darcy in that letter though as the week that he and Elizabeth had planned to spend at Netherfield proved to be impossible. He was needed back in Pemberley for he must settle numerous disputes between his tenants and he would have to inspect the production of his fields as well. He wrote back that he would not be back before his wedding, but that he would return to Pemberley the day after his wedding and would, therefore, settle these matters the second week of December. Then taking Mrs Reynolds letter, he went downstairs and once more joined the party, the guests, however, had left which left Darcy time to talk over Mrs Reynolds letter with Elizabeth and to write the second letter, both of which would go to Pemberley that day. Elizabeth when reading Mrs Reynolds letter swiftly noted what needed to be done, and soon between them they soon had everything sorted and were at leisure to join Jane and Bingley who were, as usual, oblivious to all but themselves.

"Charles, Jane" Started Darcy "I'm afraid I have business in Pemberley that will require us leaving straight for Pemberley the day after our wedding."

Jane was disappointed, but could not argue. Bingley was not to give up on the scheme to quickly "Oh come now Fitzwilliam, It's only a week we had arranged. Surely your business can wait that long."  
"I'm afraid not. I actually should be there this week to settle the business; however, I do not want to leave until after the wedding, and I can take Elizabeth with me." Darcy was thinking of the previous night and knew if he took Elizabeth with him now their behaviour would become common knowledge. Bingley looked at Darcy and immediately saw in his face why it would not be possible to take Elizabeth with him.

"Why don't you both come and stay with us until after Christmas?" Asked Elizabeth, who was anxious not to give up the scheme of having her sister around, but also knew that Darcy had put off important business.

"I think that's a capital idea, " said Darcy, seconding Elizabeth's invitation.

"Capital indeed, however, we must use Netherfield more you know," Said Bingley not unwilling to change the plans.

"You know sir," started Jane "I fancy that it should be possible for you to come and stay with us after the New Year."

"We promise that we shall visit you then." Replied Darcy who was hoping to avoid too much of the Hertfordshire society which would no doubt try and keep the associations going, and would be praying for his children when they grew up.

"So it's settled then that we will visit Pemberley with you the day after the wedding, and then you will visit us in the New Year." Said Bingley

This matter of business being settled Darcy and Elizabeth repaired to a short walk in the shrubbery, before returning to the house to dress for dinner. During their walk, Elizabeth turned to Darcy with that teasing look in her eyes. "Mr Darcy," the tone of her voice was light and teasing "You are aware of the pollution that your beautiful woods are about to suffer?"

"Did not those woods receive that pollution when you and your Aunt and Uncle walked about the lake walk?" Darcy teased back.

"Not so much as they will do" Laughed Elizabeth

Turning serious for a minute Darcy said: "My love I am worried about how I will survive the next month before those woods become so polluted."

"I know, I've been thinking about that as well. I did wrong to come to your room last night" Elizabeth replied matching his seriousness. Darcy though caught her in his arms and kissed her, being out of sight of the house and everybody else. "No, my love, that was not wrong. I was wrong to behave as I did towards you." He whispered hoarsely.

"Well let's not quarrel as to who was wrong" Whispered Elizabeth who then turned and kissed him so passionately that had he wanted to he could not have kept his composure or could he have behaved like a gentleman. Soon they had lost all track of time and so much time did they spend in the shrubbery that after slipping in and dressing for dinner they were a full half an hour late for dinner. This fact was in reality not lost on any of their dinner companions, yet was not remarked upon. However, their dinner companions had waited for them to arrive. Dinner that evening was a quiet affair. The three weeks preceding their wedding passed quietly away in like manner.


End file.
